by Tori Carson
She was panting, with her head tipped back and her eyes closed. Eva tightened her hold on the chains securing her to the cross.
Gio added the slightest touch of pressure and Eva moaned. Instead of flinching, she stayed perfectly still. A moment later he pressed a little harder. Her sounds of pleasure grew louder and she began rocking her hips against the head of the vibrator.
“Soon, Eva. I’m going to be inside you very soon.” He pushed the hair from her face and watched as the pressure built.
Her whimpers had his cock ready to burst. He wished he’d had the sense to take off his leathers before they’d begun. His dick was being strangled. He should have asked for a room with a bed too. He wasn’t taking her on the ground and the couch was an impossibility.
“You’re going to fly away for me one more time, sweet girl.” He clicked the vibrator to the highest level and pressed firmly.
Eva screamed and shuddered as her orgasm crashed through her. He leaned against her in case her legs went out and tossed the wand onto the couch. Gio bent down and quickly released her ankles. After he was sure he had a tight hold around Eva’s waist, he uncuffed her wrists. Her full weight pressed against him as he carried her to the couch.
With Eva on his lap, he sat holding her, whispering in her ear.
“I want you inside me, Gio.”
She hadn’t opened her eyes and he was pretty sure she was still flying. If he wasn’t such a selfish prick, he’d just hold her. But he was and her breathy request was all he needed to justify it in his mind.
He stood up and laid her over the arm of the couch before untying his leathers in record time. From the counter, he grabbed a condom, then tore the wrapper and sheathed his aching cock. Gio slid his middle finger deep inside Eva’s pussy and groaned at how tight she was. His cock twitched and throbbed while he took his time stretching her.
Once his second finger slid in smoothly, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer. As he inched his dick into her, Eva moaned and clawed at the cushions on the couch. He worked his way in slowly when all he really wanted to do was hammer into her. His temples pounded as he fought for control.
She was dripping wet, but oh so tight. As he gained that last inch, he held still and allowed her to adjust to his size.
“I’m not going to last, Eva. You’re too tight, too perfect.” He wanted to stay buried inside her all night, but it wasn’t going to happen.
“Fuck me, Gio. Fuck me, hard.”
Her words were muffled, but he heard them, felt them like a kick in the gut. Gio surged into her again and again. A red flag was waving in his brain. He knew he was being too rough, but he couldn’t stop.
The best he could do was take her with him. He slid his hand around her hip. Eva’s clit was engorged. She had to be sore as hell, but she was close, too. Gio coated his fingers in her wetness and began to caress her clit.
He shifted positions until she was arching her back and rocking against his hand. He knew he was only a stroke or two away. She’d had him ready to explode before he’d even entered her. “Come for me, Eva, one more time. You can do it. Let go and fly with me.”
A strangled moan came from Eva as her body shuddered. Her pussy clenched around his cock, dragging him over the edge with her. Gio continued to surge in and out of her, the sensations erasing whatever control he might have still had. His orgasm started somewhere in his toes and spread through his body like a wild fire.
His legs were quaking and he needed his arms to keep his weight from crushing her. Gio showered kisses around her neck and shoulders. “What you do to me, girl. Son of a bitch. You should just marry me now and put us both out of this misery.”
Chapter Five
What? She couldn’t have possibly heard him correctly, yet she knew she had. If she gave him her heart and he left again, she’d be ruined.
Life wasn’t one big, long sail on a smooth ocean. Seas grew rough and treacherous. Gio had already shown her how he handled tough times. He wasn’t the ride it out type. Nope, he was the hit the road running type.
She had to keep this just sex, nothing cuddly or romantic. Being held in his arms felt too much like heaven. She couldn’t have that then have it ripped away. It wasn’t a question of if he’d leave, it was a matter of when. She had to protect herself.
It was madness to even scene with him, but she was drawn to Gio like a moth to a flame. If she could keep her heart out of this, she’d survive once he hit the road again.
She tried to ignore his gentle hand caressing her back or the sweet things he’d said to her earlier.
As he pulled out of her, she stood up. Damn, her legs were shaky. As she wiped the sweat and tears from her eyes, she noticed that her hands were jittery too. She wished she could blame it all on the un-fucking-believable sex they’d just had, but she wasn’t buying it. His marriage proposal, though most likely a joke, had played a part in it as well.
Gio removed the condom and threw it away while she grabbed a washcloth from the shelf and wet it.
“That’s called aftercare and it’s my job,” Gio complained as Eva cleaned between her legs. When she made no move to stop, he re-laced his pants.
“Not with me. I don’t want or need it. I signed on for hot, kinky sex and you fulfilled that role more than satisfactorily.” She tried to keep her voice light and teasing, but she meant business.
“Eva, aftercare is an important component of every scene.” He was watching her intently.
She parted her lips the tiniest bit and took a slow, deep breath. If she showed him how rattled she was, he’d never let this go. “Aftercare is intimate. That’s a hard limit for me.”
His eyes grew wide and he took a step backward. “What do you call what we did together?” He waved a hand toward the cross and couch. “I’d say that was pretty damn intimate!”
“That was great sex and if you’re free, we can meet again on Thursday, but I’m not doing the cuddly, kissy face afterward. It’s just not my style. I signed on for sex, not intimacy.” She threw the washcloth into the sink and stood her ground.
Gio shook his head and sighed. He moved to put a hand on her shoulder.
Eva quickly ducked out of the way and began getting dressed.
He sat on the edge of the couch arm and waited.
She tried not to look at him as she reached for the door handle, but it was impossible.
“Don’t open that door. We’re not finished here.” Gio didn’t move a muscle. He just sat there with his arms crossed over his chest and glared at her.
“That’s right. You didn’t tell me if we were on for Thursday or not.” Her voice quivered and it made her angry. She couldn’t afford to show weakness.
“There’s more to aftercare than kissy face, as you put it. There’s also a debriefing of the scene, a discussion about what went right and what didn’t. If we’re going to deepen the intensity of the scenes, we need to have frank conversations after each session.”
Deepen the intensity? That scene wasn’t intense enough? Panic raced through her. Her body was still thrumming. Eva wasn’t sure she wanted it to get any more intense. “You’re right, of course, but I think I could give you better feedback once I’ve had time to process the evening’s events a little further. Do you have your cell with you?”
It was obvious Gio’s mind was whirling and he looked like he had a bad taste in his mouth. Slowly, he stood and reached into a pocket Eva hadn’t noticed before in his pants and pulled out his phone.
Gio tossed it to Eva. “I want home and cell.”
She thought about refusing her home number. In the end, she decided it wouldn’t serve any purpose. Eva scrolled through his phone, noting several women’s names. It took more effort than Eva liked to tamp down a spike of unfounded jealousy. She hurried to add her name and numbers to his address book before he caught her snooping.
“Here ya go.” Eva threw it back to him.
“I’m going to call you at ten on your home phone. You’d better answer.”<
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He’d used that tone that Eva felt all the way down to her toes. “You don’t dictate to me outside of a scene, Gio. That’s not our arrangement.” She held up her hand after he started to speak. “Having said that… My plans are to go home and grade papers. So, yes, I’ll answer the phone tonight at ten. Have a good evening, Gio, and please remember our decision to be exclusive.”
Eva opened the door and hurried down the hall, wanting to kick her own ass for verbalizing that last sentence. She tried to tell herself it didn’t matter, that the huge grin on his face was about the terrific sex and not about catching her getting all possessive. Shit.
She slammed the palm of her hand onto the door of the locker room, swinging it open with more force than was needed. Eva kept her head down as she walked to the showers. The last thing she wanted was girl talk. She went to the last stall and for the first time, she appreciated the plush accommodations. Resting her head against the marble tiles, she tried to ignore the tears falling down her cheeks.
No! She wasn’t doing this. Not again. She let the water cascade over her face for another second or two then turned the water off. Quickly, she toweled off and dressed. Getting away was suddenly imperative.
Eva started to head out but thought better of it. She went to the bar, hoping to talk to Ted. While she waited, she grabbed a rag and began wiping down the counters.
It only took a few minutes before Ted walked up.
“What are you doing? I thought I told you to take the night off?” Ted leaned against the bar glaring at her.
“I’m about to head home. I just wanted to ask if I could take a couple of nights off.” She focused on the counters rather than look him in the eye.
“What’s going on, Eva? Is there a problem I should know about?” Ted slid onto a stool.
“No. I have some…”
“Don’t hedge with me, Eva,” Ted interrupted her. “I need to know if there’s a problem with Parma. André gave him full Master’s rights.”
Eva shook her head. “This isn’t about him. We have some events coming up at the crisis center and I need to be there.”
“Should I expect to see a contract between you and Parma?”
Fuck. She should have seen that coming. She shrugged as casually as she could. “We’re dancing around it.”
“What does that mean?” he asked pointedly.
Damn it. She wasn’t ready to answer questions. “We’re still working out a few of the details.”
“And you’re sure the time off is about your day job?”
“It’s not about my day job, Ted. It’s about the crisis center. We have a meeting tomorrow night concerning the open house on Thursday for the new wing. Sister Carol asked if I’d help out.”
Ted winked at her. “Just double checking.”
She shook her head and bit her tongue. Ted had donated a lot of money to the center and he was only hassling her about Gio because he was worried about her. Intellectually she knew that, but it was still annoying. “You’re being overprotective. I’m a big girl, Ted. I got this.”
Ted nodded slowly and continued to watch her for a few moments. “In all the time you’ve worked here, you’ve never scened with anyone. On one or two occasions you’ve volunteered to help with a demonstration but for the most part, you’ve kept work and play separate. I’m sure you have your reasons for doing so.” He shifted his weight and looked a bit uncomfortable. “If your thinking has changed, we may need to make some modifications to your work schedule.”
“I just asked for a couple of days off. What’s the big deal? I’ll be back on Friday.” She didn’t need this job, but she’d made friends here and didn’t want to jeopardize it either.
“Eva, take the days. I was just talking about moving forward… Maybe we should have a server here at all times. That way, if you wanted to take a couple of hours of personal time during your shift, it wouldn’t be a problem. Pick a server you want to train. We trust your judgment.”
Ted had certainly mellowed out since Meri had entered his life. Eva needed to send her a thank-you card. “Pete tended bar while in grad school. He’s offered to help out.”
“I didn’t know that. I’ll talk to him.” Ted drummed his fingers on the counter, looking like he wanted to say more.
“Get it off your chest, so we can move on here.” She really didn’t want an interrogation every time she came to the club.
“Your day job is stressful. Your work at the center is even more so. Your time here is supposed to be fun and relaxing. This is supposed to add to your life, not become a burden. Take whatever time you need. Enjoy the amenities of the club and don’t feel guilty about it.”
Damn it, now she was going to cry again. “Thanks, Ted. I’m going to run. Have a good night.” She patted his hand and headed back through the locker room.
Eva smiled and waved goodnight to James and Amanda at the receptionist desk as she pretended to talk on her cell. They were good friends and deserved better than that, but she didn’t want to answer any more questions.
She sat in her car and rummaged through her console until she found the CD. So many memories flooded her just holding the damn thing. Gio had recorded it for her a week before he’d left.
Before she could chicken out, she shoved it into the player and turned it up. As soon as Gio’s voice came over the speakers, she started choking up. He had an amazing voice and could play the guitar like a pro. It had been so good she’d thought it had been a cover, that he’d sung someone else’s song. Eva hadn’t realized until a few years ago that he’d written it for her.
Once she’d figured out he’d written the song, the words took on a whole new meaning. A love that was wrong and never meant to be. He’d been trying to tell her and she’d been too sheltered to understand. At the time, she’d assumed that it was a popular hit. Modern music wasn’t allowed to be played in her childhood home. She’d thought he’d chosen that song because it was in his range and it showcased his voice beautifully.
Gio hadn’t been showing off his singing prowess. He’d been warning her, telling her in a song what he couldn’t say to her face.
“Seeing life through an angel’s eyes, so grave are my sins.
Already I’ve sooted her wings from the fire that burns within.
My soul cries out.
Where do I draw the line?
I mustn’t let my burden destroy this love of mine.”
Eva had always believed she had been his burden. She’d been wrong to urge him to teach. He was just so good with kids and his talents would have been wasted swinging a hammer his whole life. She should have realized back then what owning his own business meant to him, what a sense of accomplishment he must feel every time he pointed to a building with pride and was able to say “I built that.”
She still didn’t understand what the song meant. There were so many ways to interpret it. Gio had mentioned ‘drawing a line’ that night at the wedding reception. He’d said introducing her to kink had been a line he couldn’t cross. Had Gio been trying to protect her?
“Must my dreams like smoke fade away?
Each time I stumble my angel must pay.
Soon her wings, too soiled to fly.
I cannot carry this burden alone, though on and on I try
Must keep this darkness hidden deep, under lock and key
Though my soul cries out, a man must be a man…and face his destiny.”
Eva had thought the song verse pertained to owning his own construction company. Had he meant his dream of marrying her? Had that ever even been a dream? Or just a feeling of responsibility, another burden around his neck? Had his offer to marry her come from his heart or his conscience? She just didn’t know.
It didn’t matter anyway. There was no point in clouding the present with murk from the past. She ejected the CD and tossed it onto the passenger seat. No more strolls down memory lane. She couldn’t change the past and reflecting back on it was eating her up inside. It was time to let it go.
* * * *
Gio had taken his time cleaning the privacy room and had been clearing out his locker when he’d heard Eva talking to Ted. He wasn’t above listening in.
Eva was frustrating the hell out of him. Saying what they’d shared together had just been sex, nothing intimate, made him feel sick inside and all around pissed him off.
He wasn’t going to be used for sex then rebuffed when he wanted to hold her. That was fucked up, in more ways than one.
Once he was out in his truck, he dialed John, a private investigator they had on retainer for Dom’s Place and asked him to get all the info he could on Eva. It was a dick move and he knew it would come back to bite him in the ass, but he did it anyway.
Looking at his watch, he knew he had a few hours to kill. He thought about stopping by Dom’s Place, but his head wasn’t in the right place. He wanted to punch something or somebody. Most likely he’d end up popping one of his asshole brothers and that would just disappoint his parents.
As he drove home, he passed half a dozen fast-food joints. Some greasy French fries sounded really good right now. Rotten food, some beer and a good brawl were what he needed to clear his head, but he kept driving. He wasn’t that same dumbass kid he’d been in college.
Gio pulled his truck into the garage. He didn’t want to be alone. He should have been married to Eva by now… Had a kid or two. Pulling into the drive should have meant he was home. His house was his pride and joy. He’d designed it and built it, but it wasn’t a home.
After he’d left college, he’d tried to forget Eva, tried to move on. He’d thrown himself into school then his business. On paper, he was a huge success, so why did it feel so damned worthless? Nothing filled the void that leaving Eva had created.
Eva refusing his care…was just wrong. It had him second guessing everything they’d done. Maybe he’d pushed her too far. He just didn’t know. Gio pulled the two steaks out of the refrigerator. The two steaks he’d foolishly hoped he’d be sharing with Eva. What an idiot he was.
