by Aria Norton
Rolling her eyes, she adjusted her loosely-fitted breeches, wondering what the gentleman downstairs might think if he saw her in them. They were much easier to wear when out about in the woods, and paired with a baggy shirt, no one was the wiser that it was a woman under the clothes unless they were close enough. She knew it was entirely scandalous, but did people truly expect her to go foraging in the woods wearing a cumbersome dress?
“They should be thankful that I do not prance around in them around outsiders.”
Only the servants and her father were aware of her tendency to dress up in men’s clothing. Not even the land tenants had figured out that the tiny male figure that could be seen daily around the estate was indeed her. They believed it to be one of the young boys who worked the land.
“I am not entirely insane, although I wonder if the rest of the world is.”
Whether or not the world was crazy, the suitors sent her way definitely were. Aurora couldn’t understand why they kept coming faster than she could repel them. Did anyone realise how much work went into driving them away? There was indeed one word to sum up the men of England, and that was tenacious.
“Father must have a silver tongue, or these men truly think that I will change once they come into my life. No man can change me! What an absurd notion.”
Michael Pilkington had been the first suitor to attempt to mould her into what he believed was the perfect woman. Aurora had not been aware of the man’s intentions at first as her father had not made any mention to her of the need to be married.
“I believed he wished to be a friend, not a potential husband. For days he repeatedly came to call on me and would bore me with his talks of literature, war, and England’s superiority.”
Aurora was an avid reader, but Michael had made her question her love of books. How could one person make everything sound so monotonous and boring? It took a special kind of power to do that.
When she finally discovered that he was courting her, it had been the end of him. His very last visit had likely been his most traumatic one as she had led him into the deepest part of the woods and left him there to find his own way back.
“I told him that if he did not make it out before the next morning, he would likely be dead, and good riddance to that.”
She hadn’t meant it, but desperate times had called for desperate measures. While she had been able to return to the house without difficulty as she knew the woods like the annoying freckles on her nose, he had been stranded. It had been the late afternoon when she had left him, so when he had finally made his way back to the house, night had set in along with the cold.
“The poor man’s teeth had chattered uncontrollably, hardly able to get a word out.”
But he had managed some words, calling her a horrid girl who was friends with the Devil. Aurora wanted to tell him that she had been about to look for him as she had not intended any harm to come to him, but his nasty words had glued her lips closed. Not even a sound scolding from her father had pulled any sort of reaction from her. Anger had made her leave the man in the woods, but it was her pride and pain that had kept her from apologising.
“One would think that hearing of Michael’s terrible ordeal would be enough to repel any other man, but clearly not.”
Eight other suitors had followed after Michael, and with the one downstairs, that rounded up the number to ten.
“I am running out of ideas to chase these men away. I must have used every prank in my repertoire!”
Michael had told whoever would listen of her cruel ways and that an evil spirit may possibly possess her. So, when the other suitors had appeared, she had been flabbergasted. Acting insane had been her second favourite way to get suitors out of her home. The fourth suitor, Arthur Flint, had been a handsome man by the day’s standard, but he could have been a donkey dressed in a suit for all the appeal he held for her.
“Where does Father find all these men? They must be desperate for a wife, or they would never brave my presence.”
Poor Arthur Flint would never look at a tea set quite the same. Aurora had maintained her composure for much of the meeting, but when he had become comfortable enough, she changed from her polite self to a deranged woman. Smashing every teacup and saucer onto the floor, she had prayed that Millie wouldn’t take her to task for doing so. The housekeeper was finicky about everything being in its place, but at least Aurora had used a tea set that no one had particularly cared about. Had it been her mother’s set, she would have never done such a thing.
Needless to say, Arthur ran out of there like the hounds of Hades were at his heels. She had quarrelled with her father that night as they hurled accusation after accusation at each other. I suppose he believes that I live to embarrass him before the whole world. As the Baron of Leeds, he had an image to uphold, and his children were expected to uphold that image. After all, children were an extension of their parents, a visible proof of the nature of one’s household. Aurora was a source of shame, a splotch on her family’s clean record.
“I have likely done more harm to his reputation than he could have done in his entire life!”
And yet there was nothing within her that wished for her father’s embarrassment. Aurora only wanted what was fair.
“He wishes to get rid of me because he cannot control me. Why can he not understand that I will not be controlled by any man? Be that my father, brothers, or husband.”
No, no husband. Control was a fate worse than death, especially when she had lived in freedom all her life.
“I will bow to no man! The sooner he realises this, the better it will be for his self-respect and my peace of mind.”
And so what if she was of age according to man’s standards? Besides, marrying her off had nothing to do with age and everything to do with getting rid of her. Did they think she wasn’t aware of how they blamed her for her mother’s death? Her every birthday only served to remind her that her mother died giving birth to her.
“My mother lost her life that I may have life. That is the greatest sacrifice any mother can give her child, but it has been somewhat of a curse for me.”
Aurora was thankful to have life, but she wished it hadn’t been at the cost of her mother’s life. It would have been better had she lived instead, then Aurora would not have had to deal with a loveless family.
“I have a father and five brothers, but they treat me as though I am not a part of them.”
They gave her no love, and she knew why, but that didn’t stop her from craving it. It is every daughter’s right to be loved by her family. Family was synonymous with love, was it not?
“But it was the servants who gave me what my own flesh and blood could not. Is it any wonder why I feel more affection for them?”
As far as she was concerned, her family was the servants who had raised her and taught her values her father had failed to teach. That was why it angered her that he believed he had any right to dictate her life when he had left her alone for nearly eighteen years.
“I have never had a meal with him, for goodness sake! I have never had a decent conversation with him.”
Millie and Nanny had been the ones to make sure she had all she needed, taking it upon themselves to arrange for all her daily needs. Miss Bridgewater, her governess, had taught her etiquette, languages, the pianoforte, and everything else a young lady required. Aurora was not as wild as people believed and could hold her own in any formal setting, but she chose not to.
“Stuffy and obnoxious! The lot of them! I would sooner listen to a pig snort than hear their blubbering mouths.”
Flipping her braid to the other shoulder, she sat cross-legged on the floor, chin in hand. Nanny found her like that some minutes later, her dear old face none too happy with her.
“Have you still not dressed?” she asked. “Cleaned your feet and face? Your father and his guest have been waiting for you close to an hour.”
Aurora stretched her arms above her head, bending her back inwards. This earned her
an eyebrow lift.
“Oh, do not be annoyed with me, Nanny. You know that I have no wish to see them. Why not tell them that I am ill?”
“Your father would not believe me. I can count on my one hand the number of times you have been sick in your entire life – he knows I would be lying. Would it be such a terrible thing to meet the man? He might be a wonderful person.”
Aurora laughed. “Come, come, now, Nanny! You know all too perfectly well that my father chooses men that are like him in thought, dress, and deed. I can never marry a man like that.”
“You are fighting a losing battle, child. Your father is just as stubborn and has determined to have you married by any cost.”
Aurora pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed. Yes, her father had proven to be rather stubborn in this. When she had successfully driven away the third suitor, she had thought herself free since her father had almost pulled out his hair and declared her a fool. It appears he has not learnt his lesson. How much more humiliation will he face at my hands? The best thing for all would be to leave her alone and pretend that she didn’t exist, just as they had been doing for her entire life.
“Aurora,” Nanny called.
“Hmm?”
“Do get dressed! Do you wish your father to scold me? He will not be pleased to see me come down the stairs without you.”
She certainly didn’t want Nanny to be troubled! Only her father and that stupid, balding man. I’m surprised my brothers are not here to support my father. One of them has always been present during such moments.
As though she would think differently by having her siblings here! James, her eldest brother, had washed his hands of her when she had run off one of his good friends. That had been rather amusing as she had never been on his hands in the first place. And had he thought she would marry a man more than twice her age? A man old enough to be her father? Foolish man!
“Aurora,” Nanny sighed. “What will I ever do with you?”
“Help me drive the latest suitor away?” she asked hopefully.
The woman shook her head. “I have no authority to do such a thing. I am but a servant.”
“A servant? You are more than just a servant, Nanny! You have been like a mother to me, you and Millie. If anyone should have a say in my life, it should be both of you, not my father.”
“Life does not work like that child. Our feelings may acknowledge our relationship, but society does not. You are the daughter of a baron; you might as well be from a different world. Circumstances gave you to us to love, but it cannot continue like this. At some point, you shall have to accept that you must move on without us.”
Two little lines appeared between Aurora’s brow, the only evidence of the distress within her. Why was Nanny saying these things? Did she, too, wish to get rid of her?
“Am I a burden to you?” she finally asked, her voice a little tremulous.
Nanny gasped, a hand flying to her bosom. “How can you think such a thing, dear?” The woman flew to her, hugging her around her shoulders. “How could you ever be a burden to us? We love you as though you were flesh of our flesh.”
“Then why would you say such things to me? I do not wish to leave you all behind. You know this, and yet you would have me married just as my father and brothers wish to. What kind of love is that?”
“None of us wishes to see you go, but we cannot decide matters for you. This is the way the world is, child. Although, I do wish to see you happily married to a man who will cherish and adore you as you deserve. You cannot believe me to be unkind for thinking that, can you?”
Aurora sighed, shaking her head. “I suppose not, but there is no man alive who will take me as I am, Nanny. They all seek to mould me into someone I am not. Besides, you know that I have certain ... fears regarding marital dues.”
She would never accept her husband in the truest sense, not at the risk of being with child. Aurora believed she was doomed to suffer the same fate as her mother, and nothing anyone said would change that.
“A fear you needn’t have if you would but listen to us,” said Nanny, removing her arms to sit beside her on the floor. “Very well, you might not choose to go downstairs, but what will I tell your father?”
It would be easy to refuse his request, but he could very well convince the man to marry her without having spoken to her. If the man had heard of her reputation (which he likely had), then it might take more than a few words dripping with honey to convince him. Father might grease his palms – everyone has a price.
“Tell him I will come in a little while.”
Nanny raised an eyebrow. “You will?”
“Yes, but do not think that I accept anything. I will find a way to make that man run out of this house just as I have the others.”
The older woman smiled. “What do you have up your sleeve this time? I do not condone your methods, but I must say that we have been amused by your antics.”
Aurora returned the smile, doing a mock bow. “Glad to be a form of entertainment. I am not certain of what I shall do, but it will come to me before I reach the parlour.”
“Very well. Do not take too long.”
Nanny got to her feet with some help, touching Aurora’s hair before leaving her room. Pacing once more, she thought long and hard.
“I do not have much time to conjure up a plan, but I never accept defeat. No doubt, Father has told him of my usual tricks; thus, I cannot use the same ones.”
She looked down at herself, seeing her men’s clothing. I suppose I have one last unexpected trick up my sleeve. Grinning, she left her room.
Chapter 2
Carlos loved the sea and all it had to offer, but coming home was even better. After spending months travelling from country to country, he knew he was going to relish the quiet time he would have once he reached home.
“And to eat Mother’s food! I have missed that more than anything else.”
His mother was the special type of woman who could turn a simple potato and a bit of meat into a sumptuous stew or take some apple and flour and make a cake sweeter than the manna from heaven. She would always say that it was her love for him rather than her skill that made the food delicious. If that were the case, then she must love him a great deal. How was it that a woman could love a child so much when he was not of her womb? Regardless, they shared a bond as though they did share a blood tie.
“I hope that she will enjoy the gifts I have brought for her.”
Silk, spices, jewels, and tea were among the things he had brought from the Orient, but he knew the greatest thing he could bring was himself. His mother feared for him out on the seas as there were pirates who regularly looted merchant ships. Carlos often tried to calm her fears by assuring her that he was friends with enough pirates and privateers to protect himself, but that was never enough. His absence caused her never-ending anxiety until the moment she saw him again.
“She has no notion of my coming today.”
Typically, he would send word, but he wanted to surprise her today. It was the best decision to move her out of Portugal to England when he did, or she would have been exposed to the troubles Bonaparte had brought to the land. Spain also had issues with France, but it had been years since either of them had stepped foot in their mother country. Carlos certainly had tried to around ten years ago, but the woman who was both his family and his enemy was crafty.
“Alba has ensured that no one can get to the count unless they go through her.”
That did not mean that he had given up trying to prove who he was. To the world, he was Carlos Fernandez, but in reality, he was the heir of Tomas Ortez, the Count of Santa Sessa. If not for Lydia Fernandez, his biological mother’s handmaiden, and the woman he called Mother, he would not be alive. Carlos was forever thankful to her and treated her with nothing but the love and respect of a son.
