“Go ahead and let Zander know,” said Brett.
“You got it,” answered Tracy. He proceeded to knock loudly on the front of the trailer.
“How can he even hear you from back here?” I asked. Surely there was a gap between the tractor up front and the trailer that we occupied.
“He can’t,” answered the man.
“Zander’s deaf,” explained Sven. “The panel Tracy’s beating on attaches to a light in the cab. When he hits it, the light flashes.
“Oh,” I said. “That’s clever.”
“Thanks, it was my brilliant engineering,” said Brett with a smile.
The rig slowed and came to a smooth stop. Brett opened the back trailer door and jumped down onto the highway. I leaned over and kissed Chanel on the forehead.
“I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay? At home.”
She nodded; I noticed that she was also shivering despite having a blanket over her.
“Let’s go,” said Brett.
I stood, feeling every stiff joint and sore muscle. Ignoring the pain, I moved toward the open doors and jumped out of the trailer. The minds of the dead who taunted me were distant. Brett escorted me to the passenger side of the rig, where he helped me up the steep steps to the passenger seat. I watched as he signed something to the teenager named Zander. The boy was fair and covered in freckles, his head topped with thick ginger hair. My thoughts immediately shifted to Emilie. He looked like he could have been her brother. He nodded to Brett, who turned to me.
“I just told Zander where we’re headed and to pull off when you signal. Will he be headed right or left?”
“It’s on our right.”
Another set of hand signals relayed the information on to the boy.
“Just raise your hand when you see the right place, okay?”
“Sure.”
Brett stepped down to return to the trailer. Before he could close the door I called his name.
“Brett?”
He looked up at me.
“Take care of Chanel?”
“Of course. Like she was my own daughter.”
“Thanks.”
He shut the door and left me with Zander, who saluted me with two fingers and smiled before waiting for his signal to proceed. Shortly after, the overhead light flashed on and off several times. Zander put the rig into gear and continued on.
The landscape was unfamiliar in the dark, so I tugged on Zander’s sleeve to catch his attention. He looked at me quizzically. His speech was slurred, but he did his best to ask if we were there. I shook my head no.
“Slow down?”
He shrugged his shoulders and looked confused. I watched as he pointed to a small pad of paper attached to the dash, hanging from it was a pencil on a string.
I smiled at him.
I carefully scrawled a single word.
Slower
He nodded, and reduced his speed.
We rounded a bend, which seemed vaguely familiar, and one of the best feelings in the world overcame me. My husband. I could feel him in my soul. He was furious and terrified, but he was with me.
I tugged at Zander’s sleeve again. When he looked over at me, I pointed to the right and held up my hand. I scrolled on the pad of paper again. We’re close.
He nodded and slowed the rig further. Our settlement appeared without much notice, the headlights on the truck only reaching so far. Zander slowed as he pulled over onto the shoulder. Zander said something to me in sign language, and I was at a loss.
“This it?” he said aloud, still slurred.
I nodded yes and made a final note on the pad of paper.
Truck won’t fit in the garage
“O-K” he said with some effort.
I managed to open my door despite it being heavy, and slid down to the earth below. My plan had been simple – go to the chain link fence and beat on it until one of the guards heard me. I didn’t need to. Before I reached the barrier, I heard yelling.
“They’re back!”
I didn’t recognize the voice.
“Open the gate, now!” boomed Gus’ voice.
The anger in his voice threw me off.
“Zoe!” he screamed. “Zoe!”
He reached the chain link before the guards were able to open it. His knuckles were white where he gripped the wire diamonds. I stayed back a few feet.
“Jesus Christ, woman! Why the fuck did you leave without telling me?”
“Calm down,” I said forcefully.
“Calm down? Calm down?! Are you fucking kidding me? Zoe, what the hell?”
“Not right now. We need to get Chanel in to Doc. She’s hurt really bad.”
Gus pushed the button on a walkie talkie that was strapped to his belt. “Doc, we need you out front.”
“No. Have him get pain meds ready first. She’ll need them for us to move her.”
At last the gate slid open to one side.
Gus stepped through as soon as he was able and wrapped himself around me. His embrace caused each ache and every pain to scream.
“What happened?” he asked, his tone just slightly softened. “You look horrible.”
“I’ll tell you later. It’s Chanel that needs help.”
“Tell me what happened,” he said as I grabbed his hand and urged him to the back of the truck.
“These are good people. They need shelter for the night and help finding their scouting team. They saved us and got us back here. Chanel...she’s hurt bad. They think a broken pelvis or something.”
We heard Chanel’s muffled cries. I could tell she was doing her best to stay quiet.
Brett and Tracy stood in the open end of the trailer as Sven held the door open from ground level. Gus immediately stepped up into the rig and knelt down next to Chanel.
“Hey sweetie,” he said.
“Hey,” she said, her voice strained.
“Sounds like you got roughed up.”
“She crashed a truck and got pinned under the steering wheel,” said Brett. “I barely got her out.”
“It hurts, Gus,” she said with a pathetic whimper.
“Doc’ll be right out with something to take the edge off. Hang on, okay?”
She sniffled.
“Gus,” I said to catch his attention.
“Ayup?” He was feeling along Chanel’s sides, presumably looking for injuries.
“Have you seen Kendall? Did she come back?”
He paused and looked at me sideways. “No. You lost her? And where’s Brenda?”
I began shaking. The reality of the situation was setting in, the adrenaline wearing off.
“Brenda’s dead. We couldn’t find Kendall. She might be back there still.”
“You can tell me later after we get Chanel settled,” said Gus. By his tone I knew that he had strong words for me later. “You need to head in and get cleaned up. Doc’ll want to look you over after he takes care of Chanel.”
“I’m not leaving her,” I said firmly.
Olga appeared almost out of nowhere and jumped into action. “Doc’s getting things set up in the infirmary,” she announced. “I’m here with IV supplies and morphine.”
“Thanks, doll,” said Gus.
She set the supplies down by his knees. Gus didn’t pause in his tasks, expertly inserting the IV in a span of less than thirty seconds.
“Hold the bag up?” he said to Olga.
She had already begun to do so. They worked seemingly flawlessly together.
“Can I do anything?” I asked.
“No,” was all Gus said angrily.
He picked up an already-filled syringe and screwed it to the IV line before pushing the fluid in.
“Chanel, the morphine’s already going in. I’m giving you a hefty dose, darlin’, and you’ll probably feel real sleepy just any second.”
She didn’t reply to him, but her breathing slowed and her shaking calmed. I took that as a good sign.
“Let’s go,” said Olga. “Doc’s awaitin’
.”
“We can help carry her inside,” offered Brett.
“Thank you kindly,” said Olga.
Gus helped roll Chanel onto her side while Olga, Tracy, and Brett tucked a piece of thick canvas beneath her. Before long they had her on her back again, and the four of them lifted her rather easily. She moaned during the movement, but quickly settled.
I stayed far enough back to not be in the way. Many faces I recognized stood near the gate waiting for them to carry Chanel inside the perimeter. Zander stood in front of the semi-truck and waved a smaller pickup over. I had forgotten the rest of their group would be following us.
“Zoe, maybe explain to everyone who all these people are while I help patch Chanel up,” Gus called back to me.
I watched as they carried her away, not quite sure what to do or where to go.
***
When I finally got to the infirmary, the door was locked. A note on the door read “patient inside, please come back another time.” My heart sank as I heard Chanel scream on the other side of the door. Disheartened, I walked away and followed the hallway to the stairwell that led to our apartment above. One of the other gardeners, a young girl named Bethany, tried to catch my attention as I walked past, but I ignored her.
I got to our unit by muscle memory. I was tired, in pain, filthy, and my heart hurt for so many reasons. I let myself in and felt along the kitchen counter for our flashlight. I turned it on and walked to the bathroom, where I stripped out of my clothes and kicked them aside. I stepped into the wading pool and turned the hose on. As soon as I was wet, I shut the water off and lathered myself with soap and shampoo. I needed to cry but hadn’t the energy. Wanting to curl up and die, I rinsed off quickly and wrapped myself in a bath towel. I left my hair damp and un-brushed, satisfied that it was at least clean. Making my way to the bed, I dropped my towel and curled up near the pillows. In contrast to the recent heat of the season, the night felt chilly. I grabbed onto the quilt and pulled a corner over myself.
***
I didn’t hear Gus come in. I didn’t feel him sit on the bed next to me. It was the sound of him crying gently that woke me up.
“Zo?” he called softly.
I opened my eyes. The apartment was pitch black.
“Yeah...”
He adjusted his position on the bed and settled in behind me, wrapping himself around me.
“Is she going to live?” I asked.
“I think so. Doc thinks it’s the head of her femur that’s broken. She’ll be off her feet for a few weeks, but he thinks it’ll mend. I thought you might be dead, I thought something horrible had happened. I couldn’t handle that, love.”
“I can feel you again,” I whispered into the darkness. “I can feel you in my soul, Gus. I know how much you’re hurting. I can feel it all.”
“Then you can feel how much I love you.”
“Yes.”
“Please don’t ever leave like that again.”
“I just needed a change,” I said.
His hands worked their way to my own.
“I know,” he breathed against my neck.
His lips found my flesh and he hungrily tasted me. I turned to face him and buried my face into his chest.
“There’s horrible things out there,” I said.
“I know.”
He continued kissing my neck softly and pulled me close.
“There’s worse things than we knew.”
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“I want to go back to the ocean,” I said.
“You want to leave this place?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“I don’t know. Maybe for awhile.”
“We’ll figure things out in the morning.”
His lips found mine and I accepted his embrace, melting into him. That night we made love gently and sweetly, and like there may never come a tomorrow.
EPILOGUE
With morning brought sorrow. Chanel made it through the night, to my relief, but Kendall was located about a mile from home. She suffered a much worse fate, having been partially eaten and turned, searching aimlessly for a meal. The newcomers accompanied our own people in search of both her and Brenda as well as their scouting team. The truck we had come across, abandoned and covered in blood, was their scouting vehicle. The duo who had occupied it never were found. The conjoined twins in the ice chest were brought back for a proper burial. No one knew who they were or how they got there, but one of our own decided they needed to be buried.
Gus and I discussed the future, however long it may be. The ocean called to me. The beach was the last place I held Molly. Puget Sound served as the grave of my best friend, Emilie. I needed to sit and reflect. Together, we decided to leave the settlement and head northwest until we got to the sea. After describing the Hags to my husband, going to colder land seemed the best option. If we could get there before winter hit, we might be lucky and find something already stocked and secure. Maybe on another island.
***
Traveling, just the two of us, we grieved our lost children and friends. We found each other once again. We told one another that someday we’d go back to the settlement. The dead became sparse the farther north we went, but traveling also grew increasingly difficult. We carried what we could on our backs and rode bicycles until the terrain grew too difficult to ride. After that, our feet carried us.
We knew we’d found our new home when we reached a rocky beach with a lone dock leading to a small lake. A modest wood cabin sat tucked into the tree line and in the distance I could hear the nearness of the Pacific Ocean as waves rolled onto the beach.
“We could make it work,” I said.
“Ayup.”
“I’m tired.”
“Me too, darlin’. Me too.”
We stood hand-in-hand looking at the lake. It was a calm day, the sky overcast and threatening to snow. A fish jumped, leaving ripples in the otherwise still water.
State of Grace Page 18
