“What now?” He leaned closer to her, his gaze wandering down to her lips, then to her upper body, if she wasn’t mistaken.
No, no, no. They were not going there.
“What does all of this mean now?” His eyes searched hers as though he was looking for something. But she wouldn’t let him find it.
“It means nothing,” she said firmly. “That was years ago, Isaac. Years.” And back then, she’d been normal. She could walk and dance and do everything for herself. So much had changed. He hated seeing her in the chair. She could tell that much. “We’re both different people. We’ve grown up.” And he still saw her as a broken girl who needed his help. Anything he thought he felt had more to do with guilt than love. If he’d ever cared about her, he would’ve written to her. He would’ve tried to connect with her long before now.
“I really appreciate you doing this with me today. But you don’t owe me anything. I’ve never blamed you for what happened that night.” To prove it, she covered his hand with hers, not prepared for the way that simple touch rocked her. But he needed to know. He needed to believe it, too. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just happened.”
For some reason that was much harder for other people to accept. She’d made peace with it, but no one else from her past could seem to. Not even her brother. And their inability to move past it held her back. She was so damn tired of being stagnant in her life. So she pasted on a happy smile. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, do you think we could get back on the road? I’m dying to meet my dog.” And end this conversation.
Isaac seemed unmoved by the request. He continued to stare at her, his upper body twisted to face hers, leaning closer than was safe. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore, Julia?” he asked, the curve of his lips hinting that he could see clean through her.
“No. I don’t.” It was a pathetic attempt at a lie and they both knew it.
He leaned closer, so that his lips stopped inches away from hers. “You sure about that?” droned from low in his throat.
“Yes,” she whispered. What he stirred inside of her weren’t simple feelings. They were longings, desires.
Eyes still locked on hers, Isaac lifted his hand to her hair, brushing it carefully behind her shoulder. His fingers traced up her neck, forcing her eyes closed, compressing her lungs until she couldn’t draw in a breath to save herself.
His fingers lingered at the base of her jaw. A gentle pressure tilted her head up and Isaac angled his face to hers, eyes watching until his lips touched her skin, that surreal spot between her ear and jaw where his fingers had rested.
Tingles spread up her neck, engulfing her body, releasing a moan-filled sigh. Her head tipped farther to the side and her eyes closed as Isaac’s lips grazed their way down her neck.
“Feel anything now?” he breathed against her.
“Maybe. A little,” she gasped because he must’ve felt the pulse in her neck throbbing hard.
That large strong hand of his cupped her jaw and lifted her lips to his, and even though this was the worst idea in the history of the world, she let him. She let him kiss her tenderly. She let him pull her upper body against his.
“You’re so incredible, Julia,” he murmured, prying open her lips with his, gliding his tongue over hers, luring her into his mouth, into him.
Ragged breaths ached in and out of her, between the sensual rhythm of his mouth opening and closing on hers, and ohmygod, he was warm and delicious. Decadent. Strong. So. Strong.
His hands lowered, feeling their way down her shoulders, her arms, resting on her waist at the hem of her sweater.
Yes. Yes, please. Her bones thawed into liquid. She draped her arms around his shoulders to hold herself up, because he was melting her… “God, Isaac. I had no idea…” That he could kiss this way. That he could do this to her…
“Just wait, Julia. You just wait…” He wrapped her up in his arms and pulled her into his lap, but her left leg dragged behind, as usual, and smacked into the console.
“Oh my god.” His arms snapped open and let her go. “I’m so sorry.” His hands palpitated her legs. And not in a sexy way, either. In a panicked I just broke her! kind of way. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
Seriously? She straightened herself, tried to piece together what shredded dignity she had left. “I’m fine,” she ground out. She hadn’t even felt the bump. “I’m not as fragile as you think I am.”
He didn’t move. Only stared at her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine.” She leaned down and snatched her handbag off the floor. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was exactly why she’d made a plan in the first place. Because talking to Isaac was not safe. No more talking. Definitely no more kissing. It was time to go back to the plan.
“I know you’re not fragile. Cut me some slack. I haven’t seen you in twelve years. Not since you were in the hospital. So give me a—”
“Oh!” she interrupted with a frantic wave of her hand. “I forgot. I have to make a phone call. Insurance issues,” she said, rolling her eyes, digging out her phone, and hoping Paige wouldn’t put up a fight when she talked to her for an hour about insurance.
Because even though Isaac was looking into her eyes with that intense gaze of his, what she saw there had nothing to do with love and everything to do with guilt.
Chapter Five
Amazing how fast things could go downhill.
Isaac ducked enough to get a good look at the clouds that churned above them. Hard to see much else though, what with the windows being frosted over the way they were. That and the wind howling outside, swirling fat snowflakes, pelting the windshield with frozen particles.
He’d never seen anything like it.
Directing his gaze back to the highway, he listened to Julia babble on and on about prescription medications. Had to hand it to her, the woman could talk. She’d managed to prolong the phone conversation for almost an hour and a half, ever since she’d shut him out.
Damn. The snow and icy road weren’t the only reasons his knuckles were locked in place like rigor mortis had set in.
Things between him and Julia had deteriorated as fast as the weather. She didn’t hold the past against him—which baffled him beyond a reasonable thought. After she’d told him that, hope had changed the lens he saw her through. No longer little Julia Noble. No longer his best friend’s sister. She was a woman. The most desirable woman he’d ever kissed. The feeling still simmered low, sending ripples of desire all through his body.
It was a sensation he’d long forgotten. Since he’d been discharged, he’d had this disoriented feeling. He went to work and came home. He went grocery shopping. Sometimes he met the guys for a beer. But it felt robotic, actions without deeper meaning. What did it all matter when he had no one to share it with? His family had crumbled and scattered. Friends had moved on with their lives, had families and more responsibilities. Doc said detachment was normal after a career like his. He said Isaac would slowly wake up and embrace life again.
But kissing Julia hadn’t been a slow wake up. It had been like taking a bucket of ice water to the face when you’re in a dead sleep. In a good way. It’d brought a rush of raw longing, would’ve been lust except it went deeper. He’d known her forever. He’d seen her heart. He’d seen her at her best and her worst.
And he wanted her the way he’d never wanted anyone. All of her.
Kissing Julia was the first time he’d felt something in so long and the feeling wouldn’t go away.
“You know,” she chirped into the phone, “that sounds fabulous. I’d love to hear more about that program.”
Isaac pried his hand off the steering wheel and reached for the phone, but she scrunched herself up against the passenger door, her peaked eyebrows making her look like an annoyed fifteen-year-old girl again.
It’d never stopped him before. “Don’t you think we should figure out the details of our marital bliss before we meet these people?” According to
the GPS, they were about to turn onto the private road that wound up a mountain to their breeding ranch or whatever the hell they called it.
With a huff, Julia switched her phone to the other ear. “I’ll have to call you back,” she said, giving him a long-suffering look. After slipping her phone into her pocket, she faced him. But her eyes wouldn’t meet his. “Okay. Here’s the deal. We’ll come up with a simple story. In case they ask.” She hardly took a breath. “We met in college. At Stanford. Got married after we graduated. Got it?”
“But I didn’t go to Stanford,” he reminded her.
“So?” She smoothed her hands down her thighs, something she used to do when she was nervous. Looked like she hadn’t changed that much.
“We need to keep this as simple as possible, Isaac,” she insisted in that politely indifferent monotone.
Except she wasn’t indifferent. Not at all. The faint blush that kept shading her cheeks gave her away. That kiss had wound her as tight as it’d wound him. He hadn’t imagined her moans, the way her lips clung to his, her hands moving over his body.
She wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Once upon a time he could’ve had her. If only he’d known. But if she’d fallen for him once, she could do it again, right? She just needed a reminder.
“Turn left onto County Road 4,” GPS lady intoned, and it was damn good thing someone was on top of the navigation because his mind had gone other places. Back about twelve years.
He slowed the truck and turned at five miles per hour but the wheels still skidded. The truck fishtailed its way onto a narrow path completely covered in snow.
Damn, the roads were bad. He eased off the gas. They’d have to crawl the rest of the way.
And yes, he’d have to concentrate, but he still wanted to have this moment with Julia. It was the perfect setup. He glanced at her casually. “We don’t need a new story. We already have one.” And it was a hell of a lot better than meeting at college.
“Isaac—”
“I don’t remember the day I met you,” he confessed. “You’ve just always been there. In my memories.” Julia Noble was part of him, the same way family was. “So here’s what we’re gonna tell them. We grew up together. We first held hands when you were four. We had our first kiss when you were fifteen. That’s our story. We won’t even have to lie.”
“Fine,” she ground out. “We’ll stick with the truth.”
Tempting as it was, he knew better than to grin. She wouldn’t take kindly to gloating. Not at all. Still, he was enjoying this more than he should. “So what’re you gonna say if they ask you how I proposed?”
Julia’s face turned pink again. Her eyes fixated on the windshield. “Dinner. We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant. That’s a standard story. Easy to remember.”
Even though he wanted to look at her, Isaac kept his eyes on the road. “Too boring. And that’s not how I’d propose.”
“It’s not.” She didn’t phrase it as a question. Because she obviously didn’t want to hear the answer.
Oh well. He’d tell her anyway. “I’d want it to be more personal.”
Julia looked down and studied the screen of her phone. “So on the map it looks like we’re about a mile and a half from their driveway. Not that we can see anything out—”
“I’d decorate the gazebo.” Hated to interrupt a pretty lady, but this one gave him no choice. She was hell-bent on distracting him.
“A gazebo?”
Ha. She knew exactly which one he was talking about. The one out on the land his parents used to own. The one they’d snuck out to that night during the party. The night he’d kissed her for the first time. “I’d make it look just like it did that night. The white lights strung up. The wildflowers tied to the posts.”
Julia didn’t look away from her phone, but he noticed her hands quaking.
“I’d make you a candlelight dinner.” He grinned over at her. “Gourmet macaroni and cheese.” Because that’d always been her favorite. “Then we’d dance.” He’d hold her and sway her over the floor…
Finally, her head jerked up. “I can’t dance, Isaac.”
“You could,” he shot back. “If I helped you.” Didn’t she know that? Didn’t she know that two people could be stronger together than they were alone?
“I don’t need help.” She sat straighter, steeling herself again. “I know you’re not used to seeing me like this. But everyone else is, so you need to get over it.”
Get over what? Isaac gawked at her, not bothering to clear the anger out of his voice before he spoke. “There’s nothing to get over.” He could give a damn about her wheelchair. “You think that’s why I kissed you two hours ago? Because I feel sorry for you?”
“We can’t mess this up.” She completely ignored the question. Of course. “I really want this dog. So that means you have to act like the chair doesn’t bother you.”
“It doesn’t,” he almost shouted. Oh, this woman knew how to get to him. “The chair doesn’t bother me at—”
“Isaac!” Julia squealed. A look of terror locked her mouth open.
He whipped his gaze back to the windshield. A massive truck. Barreling right for them.
“Oh god!” Julia gasped.
Adrenaline exploded in his chest, hitting like a shock to the rest of his body. “Hold on!” He hit the brakes and swerved, throwing his arm across her chest right as they started to spin.
* * *
White light fringed the edges of Julia’s vision and clouded everything in a surreal haze. The truck careened, momentum dragging at her, but her body stayed perfectly still under Isaac’s arm.
Everything spun like they’d hopped on a Tilt-A-Whirl. A series of violent bumps jarred her.
A loud bang popped her ears, but then things quieted.
As fast as it had spun out of control, the world came to a stop. Except they weren’t on the road anymore. They were looking up at the road. From an embankment.
Shit. Damn. Holy fuck, that was close…
The truck idled hard.
Choking on a breath, Julia glanced down at Isaac’s arm, still splayed across her chest. His hand cupped her and she didn’t know if her heart pounded because of the near-death experience or the fact that his hand felt so warm on a very special place.
She looked over at him.
He stared straight ahead, didn’t seem to be breathing.
“Um. Isaac?” she whispered.
His head didn’t turn. “Yeah?”
“Your hand is on my…”
“Oh.” His head cranked slowly to face her. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” He pulled away, shoulders rising and falling violently. “Are you okay, Julia?”
“Yeah.” Surprisingly. “I’m fine.” Her neck didn’t even ache. Quite a difference from the last wreck she’d been in.
“You’re sure?” He straightened himself. Fear widened his eyes. “Nothing hurts? You didn’t get hurt?”
“No,” she said gently, because he was shaking so hard. “I can’t believe they didn’t stop.” What kind of person ran someone else off the road and didn’t stop to help them?
“Yeah.” Isaac gazed up toward the road. “Holy shit. I can’t believe we didn’t roll.”
“You were great.” The emotions swirling inside of her thickened in her throat. He’d swerved just in time…
“Whoa.” He blew out a breath. “Okay.” His eyes closed and he inhaled, then glanced over at her. “We’re not gonna be able to drive the truck out of here.”
Couldn’t argue with that. They likely wouldn’t be driving the truck anywhere for a while. “Right.” She nodded, as if that would help things.
Isaac unplugged his phone from the dash and studied it. “We’re less than a mile from the breeder’s driveway. I can run over there and see if they can help.”
“Are you crazy? You can’t even see out there.” The blizzard had turned to whiteout conditions. “No.” She gripped her phone in her hand. “I’ll call a tow truck.”
; “It’ll take them forever to get all the way out here,” he argued. “I can run. Follow the fence.”
“But…” She hated being trapped. Unable to do anything to get herself out of this situation. Yet again the damsel in distress who had to be rescued.
Isaac wriggled into his down coat. “I’ll hurry. We can leave the truck on. There’s plenty of gas to keep you warm.” He cranked open the door and started to scoot out.
“Wait…” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want him to leave. How ridiculous was that? “I wish I could go with you.”
Isaac stopped. With a sigh, he closed the door like he knew they’d be there a while. His hands swallowed her shoulders. “Julia. It’s okay to let people do things for you once in a while.”
“People do things for me all the time.” That’s exactly what she was trying to get away from. Ben and Paige were getting married. They didn’t need her lurking around for the rest of their lives. And she was capable of more than people gave her credit for.
“That’s not true.” Isaac’s hands slipped from her shoulders down to her upper arms, like he wanted to hold her still so she’d listen. “From the sound of things, you shut people out. In fact, Ben told me he’s worried about you.”
Suddenly it felt like the heat was blasting right on her face. “What do you mean? You were talking about me?” To her brother? Behind her back?
The anger in her voice didn’t seem to faze Isaac. “He’s worried. Says you’ve been acting weird.”
Damn it! Ben was on to her. And he’d sent Isaac to find out what was going on. Well, that just meant she’d have to be extra careful so her little secret didn’t slip out before the time was right.
She wriggled out of his hold. Didn’t need him touching her and making it so hard to think. “I haven’t been shutting anyone out,” she insisted, driving her gaze right into his.
“He wanted me to find out if anything’s wrong,” Isaac probed.
“Of course not.” For the first time in a long time, everything would be exactly the way she wanted it.
One Christmas Wish Page 5
