Dad bent forward on his knees, full-body laughing. In agitation, Nez sent another water projectile at him, and this one, too, missed comically. Dad followed Nez in the water, but instead of Kibo, he began to playfully wrestle with the boy. Nez wriggled in protest, though he was smiling the whole time. At one point Dad assaulted him with relentless tickles.
I’d never once considered that my father wanted a son. But seeing the two together in Nez’s memories made me realize, this is what Nez became to him. If Nightworld was Dad’s dream, was Nez maybe a yearning of his subconscious?
When my father and Nez finally exhausted themselves, they laid out on the embankment together. Nez traced a lazy finger along the water’s edge. Like I had seen many times before, a stream of water flew into the air and morphed into letters. Dad, with fascination, read them aloud:
“I love you, Teacher.” My father may have been a scientist, but he was mushy when it came to us kids. Nez’s words, even if they dripped onto his face, visibly moved him. Dad’s lower lip trembled and he closed his eyes. “To me,” he said, “you are more than a dream.”
The next memory took place at the Aril River again, but the tone was different. My father looked jittery, peeking over his shoulder and running his hands through unkempt hair. Nez was cross-legged by the reeds, wearing his eyepatch and scaled pants. He stole a glance at the watch around his neck and then stared at the space in front of him. Within moments, Kiki appeared as a burst of light.
I took in the familiar sounds and surroundings. There was no doubt about this. My Rising Spot was originally hers. Kiki pulled on a dress and stepped out to face them, brows furrowed. “I told you to keep him at the palace,” she said to my father. Dad grinned sheepishly and pocketed his hands. All the while, Nez tugged at her dress.
“I made him bring me,” he explained. “I’m strong enough to protect you now.” His gold eye and Fluta lit up on cue. But Kiki’s fears were clearly justified, as a band of Wakers burst out from the woods and surrounded them.
“Give us your dream child,” one seethed, pointing a spear at Kiki’s throat. In one fluid movement, Kiki broke off the spear tip and stabbed her opponent with it. She stood over him coolly after he fell, then turned to the other Wakers. They all took a step back from her.
Nez slid down a muddy slope and landed in the Aril River. Every part of him was concentrating as gold threads slithered atop the water. A liquid chunk separated from the river, and was pitched towards the Wakers. Unfortunately, it still lacked enough force to reach his targets. The water puddled at the Wakers’ feet and they laughed at him. One seized the boy from behind and pinned his arms. Nez struggled against his attacker while Kiki and Dad used Kibo to subdue the others. From the number difference, they were at a great disadvantage.
Then a familiar roar ripped through the night sky. Everyone stopped their fighting to look upon Hakim, neon orange, and standing on the nearest rock ledge. The Wakers seemed to freeze in place, but when the polar bear started to advance, they hightailed it back into the forest. Hakim bared his claws at the Waker clutching Nez. The boy was quickly abandoned. He dropped into the water with a splash.
Kiki and my father rushed over to Nez. Hakim went over to join them. With a gentle hand, he placed Nez on his back, and proceeded on all fours. “I need to have a talk with the boy,” Hakim said. “Go back to the castle. We will be there shortly.” Hakim stopped beyond a clearing and lowered himself to the ground. Nez dismounted, sniffling and soaking wet. While eye level with the young Czar, Hakim spoke with hardened words. “You are no match for them as you are now. Fighting will only put you in danger.”
Nez tried to walk away from him but the polar bear gripped his arm. Nez yanked and squirmed with all of his strength, until the point of exhaustion, but Hakim easily kept his hold on him. Nez finally fell to his knees and stopped resisting. “You were not born here with powers like the rest of us,” Hakim said. “The Fluta will help you protect yourself in time. But right now, your powers are still unnatural to you.” Nez clenched a fist and pounded the earth beneath him. After a few moments, Hakim scooped him up and set the boy on his back again. “Never leave the castle again,” he warned. “Worse things will happen.”
I was then taken back to the palace courtyard. Nez was dressed in black, creating something with chords and twigs while my father watched by the fountain. Kiki stumbled towards them, flanked by guards who were keeping her up. Her body was flickering in and out of existence, invisible one moment, and present the next. Nez ran to her and latched onto Kiki’s waist. His blue eye grew when his hands passed through her. Kiki bent down and embraced him. Her arms, too, would touch and then slip through her son’s body.
“Nez,” she whispered, stroking his back. “Mama can’t come back anymore.”
Nez tightened his hug, tears funneling down his mask. “Then take me—”
“No,” she said tensely. “Because,” Kiki released a deep breath, and gently pushed her son away to arm’s length. She touched his cheek. “I am dying. In Real life.” My father, the guards, and palace workers watched them, at a loss for words or action. By the banyan tree was the Waker version of Sylvia Tash. Full of grief like the rest. Nez’s sobbing intensified as his mother’s form slowly turned to vapor, misting away into the sky. “Be good, my sweet Nez.” Her last words were expansive and echoed across the yard.
Moments after, another voice resonated from the landscape as water spilled out of the fountain.
“Restrain the Doctor,” it said. On command, several Seawall guards seized Dad. My father wriggled against them, but couldn’t break free.
“Nez,” he cried. “Run.” Visibly rattled by the gravity of the situation, Nez stumbled towards the shore and climbed onto Ploos’ back. I sat beside him as she carried the boy across the ocean. For some reason, the Seawall Wakers weren’t following. Nez removed his mask and wiped his wet face. Staring hollowly ahead, he directed Ploos to the Aril River.
Nez tossed sheets of golden river at his mother’s Rising Spot. The reeds and flowers drooped heavily from saturation. “Come back,” he screamed, launching as much water as he could at the target. Nez continued this way until his legs buckled beneath him. On all fours, he was trembling, both emotionally and physically spent. Forgetting that this was a memory, I reached out to comfort him. But I couldn’t. This was a fixed past. I had to watch this even if it haunted me. There was no doubt it still haunted him.
The river at this point reflected Nez’s inner meltdown: coils of water were haphazardly slapping the embankment or bursting overhead like gyre gushes. The sounds almost drowned out Nez’s wailing. Then someone called out to him from the shore. Wild-eyed, he turned to face this new person, waterworks halting abruptly. It was a young girl, holding a black cover around herself— definitely one of Kiki’s dresses. My heart nearly stopped at the sight of her. Pretty sure Nez’s did too.
The lavender eyes, the red hair, it was the younger me, but covered with yellow flowers. How was that possible, if the Waker Trials only included teen and adult subjects? There were no adolescent subjects. And wait, that meant that Nez had never met someone around his age before. As if confirming my hunch, he gawked at the young me like I was from outer space.
“I’m lost,” she said, her voice undoubtedly mine. She approached him in the water and he backed up to the muddy bank. The young me didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. She leaned into Nez’s personal space and touched his shoulder. “Hey, why are you crying?”
Nez continued to stare at her, but she just tilted her head with a smile. “Ooh your eyes are so pretty.” That was too much for him. Nez covered his face with his hands. The young me giggled and placed her hands over her face too. “Please tell me why you’re sad.”
Nez’s words were muffled. “My mom died,” he said.
After a pause, she slowly uncovered his face. “I’m really sorry.” Her words seemed to touch him. Nez looked up at her. “I know it’s different, but my papa is missing. Aza and I came here to f
ind him.” We did?
“I’ll help you look,” Nez said, pulling on his mask. “But we have to be careful.” She found his hand once again and led him out of the water. Together, they followed the river back towards the ocean. Ploos was waiting by the shore, bobbing in the tide, the castle silhouetted behind her. Before a proper greeting, the Sea Mistress appeared in full form. She rolled herself up into a wave, elbows resting on the sand.
“Are you lost, my dear?” Her voice was haunting and familiar. Nez hesitated, but the young me stepped forward and nodded. A stormy gust blew through her hair while she approached the shore. “Remember me?” The water woman cooed. “I’m your father’s friend.” Like the event in Lathermia, her dripping arms wrapped around the little girl. With one jerk, they were both submerged into the sea. Nez ran forward and placed his hands in the water, but the Sea Mistress appeared beneath and pushed him off his feet. “You can’t challenge me,” she spat, tidal-waving herself into a beastly height. “Dreams have no chance against Reality.”
Nez gaped at her, paralyzed by fright. Even I was stunned by her crazy death-tsunami wall. Ploos clambered over to him, unable to snap the boy out of his trance. But when Aza threw a stone at the water, all attention was on her. She advanced on the wave with arms crossed.
“That girl belongs to me,” Aza said. “Give her back now.”
A few waves crashed noisily against the rocks as the Sea Mistress cackled. “How about a bargain then?” She said, “I need the entire life of one Waker. If you give me the boy, I will give you your sister.” Nez swallowed as Aza turned to him. Ploos stood protectively at his side, appendages fanned. Aza smiled and shook her head.
“So you need the life of one Waker?” She called out to the sea. Aza held her arms open in invitation.“Then take me.” No, Aza. My sister gazed up at the colossal wave, hair soaked from ocean spray, but still exuding a mystifying confidence. “I’m yours,” Aza yelled. “If you keep my sister out of this place for good.”
“Agreed,” said the Sea Mistress. “Our contract is binding until your Waker release.” Then the raging tsunami was let loose. Water barrelled over the land, immersing Aza, Nez, and Ploos. I too found myself underwater, but in no peril like the others. Tumbling around, Nez pulled off his mask and spiderwebbed his light across the sea. Though he moved his hands every which way, the water didn’t budge. The woman’s face shaped itself in front of him, grinning. With a flick of her liquid fingers, he was tossed backwards and onto dry land. The younger me lay beside him as the water receded. All evidence of the tsunami had vanished, revealing a clear night sky overhead and gentle waves.
My father yelled my name, but I was deaf to the sound. It was something I recognized just by feeling. He said it over and over again as he cradled the young me in his arms. Nez was shaking by his side, legs buckling when he attempted to stand. “You’re to blame, Doctor,” said the Sea Mistress. “Because you wouldn’t hand over the boy, I took something more precious: your real child.” The little girl began to disappear, misting away like Kiki. Dad was left holding onto nothing but air.
“Your real child,” Nez breathed, lowering his gaze to the sand. Ploos nuzzled his arm but the boy shifted away from her. My father remained silent with eyes closed. For the first time, I noticed blood on his scaled tunic. A lot of it. From his ashen face and shallow breathing, it must have been his own.
“Nez,” he finally said. “Did you see another girl? Tall and brave?”
Nez rigidly nodded. “The sea ate her.” His words were ghostlike.
While holding his stomach, Dad gingerly got his feet. Nez timidly did the same, standing behind him. “Use me instead,” Dad called out. “The burden will be too great for her. Nightworld will certainly collapse.” The tide began to stir and swirl. Nez tugged on my father’s arm, but was ignored. As if in response, waves broke upon the sand and began encircling my father. Wet sand sank beneath him, pushing him forward towards the sea. Nez moved with Dad, gripping his tunic.
“Teacher,” he said. “Please don’t leave me.”
My father stopped in place, the wind wrinkling his clothing. “I will be God,” he said. “So I will never leave you.” With a grim smile, he turned to Nez and lowered to one knee. “Remember, whoever you choose to be… be good.” Dad lifted Nez’s mask from the sand and handed it to the boy. Nez didn’t look up as my father approached the sea. The tide overtook him with one consuming roll. And a moment later my sister was thrown out of the water, wet, disheveled, and covered in seaweed. She wasted no time getting to her feet.
“My children,” said the Sea Mistress with tenderness. “I am your master now.” Aza clenched a fist and peeked over at Nez. He looked like a hollow shell, emptied by too much loss.
“How long is my servitude,” Aza said. “For fulfilling our agreement?”
Her voice hissed richly across the water. “Until your Waker death, my dear.”
In all of my searching, I believed the truth was going to end my grief and give me peace. But it did neither of those things. The truth instead opened a door for me. From here on, I had to move forward through it, and make the peace I was after. It was up to me now. And finally, most of the memory gaps were filled.
My wrist tattoo was aching but I ignored it. And maybe I had been ignoring it for a little while before this. Even so, I couldn’t leave yet. The next memories went by much faster than the others, like time snapshots: when the memory shifted, so did I. My body careened to one scene, and then was pulled to the next.
First I was taken to the castle, where Nez was now a teenager. Aza stood at the same height beside him. She was the Blackout I saw in the mirror each time. “If we fight together,” Aza pressed, “we can beat her.”
Nez was suited in his black Renezen attire, mannerisms just as chilly as our first encounter. “If we fight together, she’ll feed us to the Squits,” he said. “Or worse.”
“What’s worse is following commands that hurt people,” she retorted, inching closer to him. “Why do you let her control you?”
“You do realize the water has eyes,” he said, pointing up at the transparent ceiling. When she scowled at him, he returned to a table with metal and tools. He was fashioning Binding clasps.
Aza held one up and sighed. “You’re a good person,” she said. “Don’t let her change that.”
Time shifted, and Nez opened a section of tile floor in the castle. Aza was in the room beneath, her clothing tattered and eyes bloodshot. He handed her a bowl of food. A few moments after taking it, Aza pitched it at the wall.
“Get me out of here,” she seethed, scratching her arms. “Something’s happening to me.” At the sight of her brief translucence, Nez’s Fluta flickered a little faster. His hands were trembling.
“You shouldn’t have challenged her,” he managed, trying to keep his composure. “She always wins.” Reaching up with a thin arm, Aza touched his hand.
“She did something to my dad, didn’t she?” Nez slowly nodded, tears streaming down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them away before she could see. “Nez,” Aza said. “Your two hearts are always breaking. Aren’t you sick of it?”
Her words echoed into the next time-shot. Nez, in black Renezen guise, lowered a third stone beside two already on the ground. “Mom, Teacher, Blackout,” he whispered. “Please give me the strength to be good again.”
In a lightburst I saw myself in another memory, faintly glowing, skin mapped with yellow flowers. While I stared back at Nez with wonder, my red hair and wisteria flowers swayed in the wind. A double heartbeat audibly quickened. It sounded so visceral, for a moment I mistook it as my own. As I skated through a tunnel of his other memories, I was there again, laughing, smiling, lighting up, staring back with determination, or kissing him: “You’re very real to me.”
I willed myself back to Nightworld, falling on my side in the Cave of Remembrance. With a new compassion swelling in my chest, I stepped beyond the falls to the rock ledge. The Seawall castle was in view, brilliantly illumina
ted by the moon. My hands stretched out as I concentrated on making a rainbow bridge. If I could see him before the battle, then maybe we could stop this. But nothing happened. My light stayed confined to my body. But why?
Wait, light and water make a rainbow. It wasn’t just my power. It was Nez’s too. Of course he would do this: leave me without a way to return to him. With eyes closed, I blazed as brightly as I could, hoping he would see this light, and know it was me. It really happened, didn’t it? Without realizing it, I had let Nez Bind my heart. It stayed here with him whenever I returned to the Other Side.
“Dad,” I said to the sky.” Help me reach Nez.” For the first time I noticed an expanse of dead trees beyond Seawall. Giant sized, they looked like bright skeletons in the moonlight. My mouth became dry. For some reason, I had a bad feeling about Skyplume.
Wakers: Sayonara Sleep Page 17
