by craziebabe45
"Yeah baby, it's all the truth."
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K.A. Linde
Unintentional Lying
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
-Florence + the Machine "Cosmic Love"
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Chapter 22: July One Month Earlier
"Ramsey I really need to talk to you," Parker cried panting a little as if she had just sprinted down the hallway. She was still in scrubs like she had come straight from the hospital.
He stood shakily and stared between the two women in his office. "About what you told Lexi?" he growled.
Parker's lips parted as she realized she had just walked in on Lexi and Ramsey. She nodded. "Uh yeah…I told her."
"Of course you did," he grumbled throwing his arms in the air. He couldn't believe this had happened to him. Parker hadn't even had the decency to let him know that she had sprung this on Lexi. She had allowed him to think that Lexi was just going through a hard time right now. At least that is what he had assumed was the case. Both girls had obviously known for quite some time and yet, neither had let him know up until this moment. The fact that Parker had intruded at all drove him crazy.
Parker assessed the situation at hand. Clearly, Lexi had decided to tell Ramsey about what was going on. She had been waiting for this moment too anxious to do anything about it one way or another. She would have rather caught Ramsey after Lexi was through with him. She might have been able to calm him down alone, but with Lexi in the room it would be impossible. He would have too much to prove. She knew she needed to leave and allow them this time to figure things out. "Uh, I see I've come at a bad time," Parker said easing back out of the room.
Ramsey couldn't believe her cowardice. First not telling him about this and then trying to back out of the situation. No, that just wouldn't do. "Wait a minute," Ramsey demanded stopping her in her tracks.
"Yes?" she squeaked out. She stopped mid-step. She had been afraid that he wouldn't let her just extract herself from the conversation. She had said and did too much. She knew him too well to not understand that he was thinking she needed to fix this.
He wanted to make her realize the weight of the situation. What she had done by telling Lexi wasn't just some small act of self-righteousness or pity or whatever she was going to delude herself into believing, it had the potential to be irreparably damaging to his relationship. Just the thought made his anger at Parker rise up. "Why can't you just stay out of my fucking business?" he asked staring her down menacingly.
Parker knew he would be mad. She had anticipated that, but she hated that it was directed at her even if she kind of deserved some of the blame. She had just hoped to put off some of that anger as long as possible. Yet, she couldn't just stand there defenseless. She had a reason for telling Lexi and she was going to stand her ground on that front. "I think she had a right to know," Parker responded flinching at the tone of his voice and grasping the door handle.
Ramsey shook his head from side to side slowly. "Well I'm so glad you told the story," he sneered stepping away from Parker as if she were the last person he wanted to be around. He knew her story put him in such a negative light that it only infuriated him further that he wasn't the one who had been able to tell her. If Parker had only said something…
Parker closed her eyes and stepped farther away from him. The force of his anger was radiating off him in waves. She wanted to just leave, but the weight of his gaze held her in place. She hated to even ask the next question since it just implicated her further, but she just couldn't stop herself. Something in his demeanor forced Parker on. "Were you even going to tell her?"
"That's none of your goddamn business!" he snapped back slamming his hand down on his desk in anger. He couldn't believe she had even asked that. Of all the things to bring up! She knew it was going to hurt him and she knew it made him look even worse than he had looked before if that was even possible. Parker knew him too well, and right now he was hating that fact.
Lexi had been watching their exchange intently for the past couple minutes. Up until that moment, she hadn't really seen an opportunity to interrupt the conversation even though it directly related to her, and it was her argument to begin with. Parker's arrival had completely thrown her off base and she was still attempting to get her bearings about how to proceed. On one hand, it was ideal because Parker could confirm or deny the stories that Ramsey was sure to throw her way especially with the pregnancy discrepancy. She was still up in the air with who to believe about that one. One the other hand, Parker made things complicated. She was the reason Lexi was here at all. She was the reason her and Ramsey were having this conversation. She was the reason that her relationship was on thin ice. Lexi hated her for that even if she had needed to know the truth about the situation. She knew the whole phrase about don't shoot the messenger, but she really didn't want to follow it in that moment.
It didn't help that it seemed Ramsey and Parker spoke their own language. They were arguing with each other and yelling at each other, but somehow Lexi felt as if she had missed half of what had been said. She realized that more was being said in their sidelong looks and body language than anything they were actually saying to each other. She just wished that she understood their language. They had known each other and been together in a relationship for so long that they never lost the bond that so many couples developed. Lexi knew that she could talk to Jack without saying anything, but what Parker and Ramsey had was completely different…it was on a whole different level. She didn't particularly like it either.
Hearing Ramsey announce that it was none of her business whether or not she was going to tell Lexi set her off though. She couldn't just stand by and let him ignore her presence any longer. "Well it's my business," Lexi cut in, "and I think I have a right to know if you were ever going to tell me."
Ramsey stared down at his palm which was now flat against his desk and sighed. He hated having this conversation. He hated that Parker and Lexi were in the same vicinity. He hated that his past had caught up with him when it was the last thing that he wanted to drag Lexi into. He just wanted her to understand that she was it for him. "This doesn't have anything to do with our relationship," he told her brusquely grinding his teeth at the thought.
Lexi openly scoffed at him. How could he be so naïve to think that his past didn't affect his future? Lexi had realized long ago how big of a part your past played in your present. That would be like saying that her relationship with Jack had nothing to do with who she was today. It would be a total 100% lie. Jack had so much to do with who she was. He had changed her forever…for better or for worse. She liked to think he had done both, but sometimes she wondered.
In either case, Parker had done a number on him. Sure their relationship had been a far cry from what she had had with Jack, but if anything it had more effect because they had been together for real for so long. Not to mention their terrible practically catastrophic ending had only jaded him. He didn't trust people. He didn't let people in. He hadn't had a decent relationship before Lexi since he and Parker had broken up. The very idea that the situation didn't have anything to do with him and how he was acting now was absolutely ludicrous.
"Really?" Lexi asked nearly laughing out loud at him. "You lying to me has nothing to do with our relationship?"
Ramsey leaned against the desk heavily. He couldn't believe she was taking his statement that way. "No, Lexi that's not what I meant. I meant that Parker has no place in our relationship," he quickly amended.
"The fact that you have to clarify that is truly telling," she murmured turning away from Parker and Ramsey. She began walking the length of Ramsey's desk ba
ck and forth seething with anger. She didn't know what his current relationship was with Parker. She wanted to hope for the best, but really her past had always proven otherwise. And how could she trust him anyway? He had lied about their relationship once. They might both be hiding the state of their current relationship. She wasn't here all that often because of school so he could have been with her at that time. He could be hiding so much more from her without her knowledge.
"Look," Parker began clearly still undecided on her place in this conversation, "I really don't have a place in your relationship." Lexi looked up at Parker as she spoke. She hadn't forgotten that she was there, but she hadn't exactly expected Parker to address her. Not that her statement made any difference to Lexi. She was starting to doubt her trust of Parker even if Brandon had more or less confirmed her story.
"Yet you weaseled yourself in," Ramsey growled keeping Parker from saying anything further. He was thankful that Parker had the sense to agree with him, but it didn't excuse her insertion into his relationship. They had too much history for her to interfere the way she had. He still couldn't believe it himself.
Parker's head snapped so fast in Ramsey's direction that she got a crick in her neck that she knew would be sore the next day. She honestly could not believe he had just said that. She had done what she thought was right. She might have acted impulsively, but her head had been in the right place about the situation.
The last thing she wanted was for another woman to fall for Ramsey's age old tricks and get burned. She knew they were both in over their heads and that the secrets were never going to come out. If she had known what level he was capable of hurting her, she would have wanted to know from the beginning. Then he has the audacity to claim she was weaseling her way into his relationship. She couldn't stand it!
"It's not exactly my fault that I have to be around you all the time," Parker spat out without a second thought. Her venom carried years of pain and heartache over the man in front of her, and she hadn't even thought before spitting out the first thing that she thought.
Ramsey leveled his gaze on her. His green eyes could have burned a hole through her. His jaw was taut and usually full lips were pulled tight into a straight line. Tiny wrinkles across his forehead and around his eyes showed the true fierceness of his anger. Parker swallowed hard as she met that gaze. She knew what that look meant. She had fucked up. Parker darted her eyes to Lexi and back hoping that she hadn't noticed. Parker wasn't that lucky.
Lexi stopped her pacing and turned back to Parker at the end of that last statement. Where had that come from? What the fuck was she talking about? Since when did they have to be around each other all the time? This was news to her. This was news that she had never wanted to hear. She had just been doubting their relationship, and here they were confirming that they actually still had some semblance of a relationship. She didn't know the extent of it, but clearly by Parker's last comment it was existed in some fashion. This was more than Lexi had been told about it though which didn't bode well for Ramsey.
"Wait," she cried holding her hand up to draw their attention back to her and keeping them from deftly changing the subject, "why exactly do you guys have to be around each other all the time?" Lexi eyed them both carefully. She knew they had their own language and she didn't want to miss anything that was going on between them. Hopefully she would be able to pull something from their sidelong glances that told her one way or another what was going and if they were lying to her.
"Uh…" Parker mumbled looking at the ground. She couldn't even face the two people standing before her. She hadn't meant to slip up, but she didn't know how to fix it. What she had almost revealed wasn't public knowledge yet and she knew that Ramsey wasn't ready to discuss it with Lexi. She would have preferred to get it all out in the open, but there were so few people who knew the details that Parker couldn't exactly blame him from excluding everyone except the people directly involved with the project. She just hoped that she hadn't done more damage even though she had been the biggest advocate for letting Lexi know about what was going on.
Ramsey couldn't believe how Parker had let that last bit slip. He didn't even know why she was so pissed about the whole situation. He was the one angry for her telling Lexi about their entire relationship before he had been ready. Yet she had nearly let another thing slip that he wasn't prepared to tell her. How could someone so intelligent possibly be so stupid? Ramsey tried to keep from openly glaring at Parker as she stood there stupidly, but she made it damn near impossible. At least she wouldn't look him in the eye or else his demeaning glare sure would have said a lot more to her. Though, he figured she knew that without looking.
The only problem was how he could fix this with Lexi. It seemed like all he was doing was making mistakes and trying to find a way to make it up to her. The last thing he wanted was to bring this line of conversation up when she had just been blown away with Parker's confessions. "It's stuff you don't want to have anything to do with," Ramsey finally responded meeting Lexi's eye.
Lexi's dark brown eyes looked back at him suspiciously. She couldn't believe that was his response that she just wouldn't want to know about what Parker had said. Clearly she wanted to know or else she wouldn't have asked. "I'm sorry, but I just heard that my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend have to spend all this time together. Oh and by the way I knew nothing about any of this," she muttered scathingly. "I think I'd want to know what the fuck this is all about."
"Ramsey, can't we just tell her?" Parker breathed barely louder than a whisper. She hated hiding the truth especially in this kind of situation. It would only make things worse in the end.
"Tell me what?" Lexi crowed turning on Parker who still wouldn't look at her. Lexi was just getting angrier the longer they kept more information from her.
"Look you really don't want to know!" he told her again a bit more vehemently.
By now of course, Lexi wanted to know nothing more than why she couldn't know and what the big secret was. This was infuriating. How much more convincing did she have to do? She told him she wanted to know. She had already insisted she didn't want any more lies, and yet here he was keeping something from her. She shook her head in disbelief. "Just tell me! Why do there have to be so many secrets between us?"
"Ramsey," Parker pleaded softly. She sincerely felt for the girl. Poor thing had no idea what she was dealing with.
Ramsey paused contemplating his options before sputtering angrily hating that he had to do this. "Look it just has to do with the wedding alright," he snapped. His eyes shifted to Parker whose own mouth had snapped shut. He could gauge her reaction as she tried to look at anything but him. He just hoped that Lexi couldn't see through her mask of disappointment and regret.
"Oh God," Lexi cried, "can we not talk about the wedding?" Lexi shuddered at the thought of Jack's wedding, period. She did not want to hear anything about it. She did not even want to think about it. She didn't miss the sneaky look that passed between Ramsey and Parker, but she didn't want to know what it had to do with the wedding. The last thing she wanted to know about was wedding.
"See I told you it was the last thing you wanted to talk about and that I wasn't going to bring it up," he said sliding a hand through his hair and letting out a relieved sigh. It was true that they had been spending more time together because of wedding preparations, but he hated that he had had to exploit Lexi's weakness about the wedding to avoid taking responsibility for the real reason.
"Whatever," Lexi said dismissively, "I still don't understand why you had to lie about the other stuff. You know my past and how important trust is to me. How do I know you didn't lie about anything else? How do I even know you care about me?" Lexi didn't like stating that last statement. It made her feel incredibly weak and vulnerable. Her heart was in his hands at that last comment. She cared about him deeply. In fact, she knew that she loved him. It terrified her to put so much into one person only to not know where her future was taking her. She thought they had been
on some sort of path, but his lying certainly made it clear that he had other things in mind. He couldn't even trust her with his past. How could he trust her with his future?
Ramsey looked at Parker as if this were all her fault knowing that it was only partly the case. The majority of the blame landed on him for deceiving Lexi into believing she was his first true love. Now she didn't even believe that he loved her all, because he had lied about loving someone else before her. He felt like an idiot. "You know how I feel about you," he said earnestly moving towards Lexi to reassure her. He would do anything to reassure her of his feelings. Lexi took a hesitant step back countering his movements. She wasn't prepared to be in close proximity to him.
"Yet you lie," she breathed shaking her head at his advance.
"It wasn't intentional for me to lie to you about it," he groaned miserably.
"Unintentional lying?" Lexi asked rolling her eyes. "That's rich."
"No, come on. I told you that Parker and I don't discuss this stuff with people. Well usually not," he said sliding his eyes towards Parker. She had broken that trend. It had been an unspoken truce between them that neither would divulge information about it anymore. It hurt them both too much to discuss it, and she had done it anyway. "Anyone who knew we were together knows better than to bring it up and the details were suppressed. Tell her Parker," he barked demanding her assistance in convincing his girlfriend that he cared about her that he wasn't a complete liar. Parker was the one who had broken their rules. Ramsey hadn't even seen it coming.
Parker sighed and sank into one of his cushioned chairs as if resolved that she had to remain for the remainder of this conversation. She knew what he had said was true and that she had more or less gone behind his back to tell Lexi the truth. She still felt justified in it. Even if she had told Ramsey that they should tell her about what happened, he wouldn't have listened. Once he got an idea in his head about how things were going to be that was it, but she did have to agree with him. "We really don't tell people."
