by M. L. Smith
We really needed to talk but I didn’t know where to start.
After struggling to fall asleep yet again, I padded downstairs to make myself some hot chocolate.
Rubbing my hands across my face, I tried to gather positive thoughts. Zack was working in his study as he did most nights to avoid me.
Staring out of the French doors, I jumped when my phone started ringing loudly into the silence. I grabbed it out of my dressing gown pocket and frowned when I saw it was my Dad calling.
A feeling of nausea swept over me.
Something was very wrong.
“Dad,” I whispered.
“Jenny. I need to talk to you, darling.”
His voice was thick with emotion.
“What is it, Dad?”
“It’s your Mum. She found a lump in her breast. It’s… it’s cancer,” he blurted out before a sob caught in his throat.
Oh no!
“Oh Daddy, I’m so sorry. Is she okay?” I forced my voice not to crack.
“You know your Mum, she’s putting a brave face on for me. She’s going into hospital the day after tomorrow. They are going to remove it, Jenny,” he whispered as his voice trailed off to silence.
“Do you want me to come home?” I stuttered.
“Could you, Jenny? I hate to ask but we need you.”
“I will speak to Zack. Can I ring you in the morning?”
“Yes, darling. I love you.”
He took a deep breath and I could feel relief flooding through him.
“I love you too, Daddy. Give my love to Mum.”
I disconnected the call and stared out of the window. Fat tears gathered in my tired eyes and ran freely down my cheeks. I hugged my body tightly, trying desperately to hold myself together.
Huge loud sobs burst out of me as the news sunk in. Sliding down to the floor of the kitchen I gave in to them. I heard Zack walking quickly towards me.
“Jennifer, don’t cry like that. You will make yourself ill!” he snapped.
“What do you care? We are over, aren’t we Zack? I’m not crying about you, anyway. It’s my Mum, she’s got… cancer!” I shouted, staring up at him.
His eyes glazed over as he looked at me.
“God, Jennifer. I’m so sorry. Where is the cancer?” he asked as he pulled me upright and leant me against the wall.
“It’s in her breast. She has to have a mastectomy, Zack!” I sobbed.
I cried into his shirt, soaking it thoroughly. He soothed me stroking my hair and kissing my head.
I clung tightly to him like he was a life-raft.
“Come on, let’s go to bed,” he whispered as he gently pulled me up.
Putting his arm around me, he helped me upstairs to his bedroom. He pulled the covers back, took my dressing gown off and pushed me into the bed. Quickly undressing, he slipped between the covers and pulled me into him.
I breathed in his heavenly scent that I had missed so much.
Our bodies moulded perfectly together.
“I love you so much, Zack. I want you, I need you, I have missed you,” I sobbed into his naked chest.
Completely exhausted, I quickly fell into a deep sleep, wrapped safely in his comforting embrace.
I woke up early in the same position. It was only just getting light. Zack’s arms were wrapped tightly around me.
More tears filled my eyes as I thought about my Mum and Dad. They needed me. I would need to speak to Zack and Ross.
“JB, you need to go home,” Zack whispered.
“I know. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is. I am coming with you,” he told me, stroking my hair.
“What about your work and the twins?”
“Fuck work, you are far more important. Marcia will help.”
“I could really use a friend right now, Zack.”
“I am there for you, you know that, don’t you?” he said, looking down at me.
He tipped my head back and kissed me softly.
“Thank you, Zack. You are the best,” I whispered, snuggling back into him.
“I will run you a bath.”
He extracted himself from me and disappeared into the en-suite. I heard the bath running and a delicious smell filled the air. Laying back, I closed my eyes and processed everything that was going on. I kept thinking that I should tell him why I was really here.
I was a detective investigating him and his family. I knew that I couldn’t of course.
“Your bath awaits you, my Lady.”
I flung the covers back and went into the en-suite, discovering that Zack was already lounging sexily in the bath. Quickly brushing my teeth, I stripped off and stepped into the warm bath, sinking down at the opposite end. Luckily neither of us had the tap end as they were in the middle.
“How are you feeling?” he asked me, surveying me with his beautiful eyes.
“Better, thanks to you.”
I relaxed as Zack gently washed my hair and my body. He cupped my breasts, gently squeezing them. Desire blossomed deeply within my body as he pulled me on top of him and kissed me lovingly. My tongue pushed possessively into his mouth reclaiming him. His tongue twisted with mine as he hummed softly. I gripped his erection tightly as he groaned.
“Make love to me, baby, I have missed you so much. I was dying without your touch,” he whispered, kissing my neck.
I shivered with anticipation. We climbed out of the bath and dried each other off. Zack led me back into the bedroom where we reignited our passionate, loving relationship.
We quickly packed a case each and hurled them into the boot of the Range Rover.
“Are you okay, Jennifer?” Jasper asked me, furrowing his brow.
“I’m okay, thanks, Jasper, but my Mum’s not very well.”
“Send her my love. She’s pretty awesome you know!” he whispered as he gave me a hug.
“Bye, Jennifer. Bye, Dad. Ring me later, safe journey,” Scarlett said, hugging us both.
We waved at them as we pulled away from the house.
“Thanks so much, Zack,” I whispered, gripping his hand.
“I couldn’t let you go through this on your own, baby.”
“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it but I’m really sorry about the John thing. I feel so bad hurting you like that. I don’t deserve you,” I told him as tears ran down my weary face.
“Look, let’s just forget about it and focus on us and your family. Can we not mention it ever again, Jennifer?” he asked quietly.
“Okay,” I told him, kissing his knuckles.
We settled into the silence as we drove quickly. I had dropped Ross a quick text earlier telling him about my Mum. He had texted back saying he would see me when I got back in a few days and not to worry.
As we pulled along the winding road up to the house, I could feel tears bubbling inside me. I needed to be strong for them, not a blubbering wreck.
Zack squeezed my hand gently as if he could read my mind. I smiled gratefully over to him and fell a little bit more for him.
We parked next to Jack’s car and headed into the house. My Dad was waiting in the hallway for us and I went straight to him.
“Dad, how are you? How’s Mum?” I asked him as I settled into his strong arms.
“We are okay, sweetheart. She’s in the kitchen,” he whispered, fighting his emotions.
Zack stepped into the hallway, shook his hand and disappeared upstairs with our cases.
Mum was sitting at the large kitchen table, talking to Jack. He turned around and looked at me with bloodshot eyes as I walked into the room.
“Hi, Jenny,” he whispered as he rubbed tears from his cheek.
“Hi, Jack.”
“Jenny, darling, it’s good to see you,” Mum said, getting up from the table.
“Oh Mum, I’m so sorry,” I told her, holding in my tears.
“I know, sweetheart, I know,” she whispered as we embraced.
“I came as quick as I could, Mum. What did
the doctors say?”
“Well, we have caught it early, but they need to remove my left breast. The prognosis is good,” she told us calmly.
Jack’s face crumpled as I held his hand tightly. Dad gripped his shoulder.
“Jack, it will be okay. We have each other,” I whispered.
“Did Zack bring you, Jenny?” Mum asked.
“Yes, he’s upstairs. I think he’s giving us some space.”
“You have got a gem there, darling. Keep hold of him. You are so good together,” Mum said, smiling weakly at me.
“Not to mention the fact that he’s filthy rich!” Jack whispered.
“I’m not interested in his money, Jack!” I snapped, turning around to check that he hadn’t come downstairs.
“Sorry, Jen!” he mumbled.
“Mum, he doesn’t know the truth about me,” I said as tears flowed freely down my face, splashing onto the heavy table.
“I know. He will understand. Zack loves you, Jenny.”
“I really, really hope so.”
A few moments later, Zack stood in the doorway of the kitchen.
“Zack, come in, come in,” Mum said, beckoning him over to her.
He nodded at Jack and went to her, kissing her cheek tenderly.
My heart swelled with love for him.
“How are you feeling?” he gently asked Mum.
“I’m fine thanks, Zack, and thanks for bringing our Jenny home.”
“It’s my pleasure. Can I get you anything?”
“Everything I need is right here in this room. Just take a seat and I will pour you some tea.”
Zack sat next to me as I leaned into his body.
“How’s Chloe, Jack?”
“Good thanks. She has moved into my flat. She’s coming over tomorrow.”
“It’s serious then?”
“Oh yes. She is the one, Jenny.”
“Good, she’s such a beautiful person. You two were made for each other.”
“Why don’t you all go and freshen up? I have made a huge pan of stew for you all. You must be hungry,” Mum said, pushing to her feet.
“I am always hungry for your stew, Mum!” I laughed.
After very little sleep, Dad took Mum to the hospital at 8am the following morning. We all wanted to go with her but she didn’t want us fussing around.
“Just come and see me tonight after the op,” she told us sternly.
She was obviously coping far better than the rest of us or she was just better at hiding it.
“What do you want to do today, Zack?”
“I have never been to York. Why don’t you show me the sights, we can be back in plenty of time to see your Mom.”
“That sounds good. We can’t mope around here all day.”
“Invite Jack if you like.”
Jack declined the invitation as he had brought a ton of work from his property management business with him. He was set up with his laptop and plenty of coffee in the kitchen.
I showed Zack the beautiful sights of York. We enjoyed lunch followed by a chilly river cruise.
“I would love a boat,” he told me as we enjoyed views of the ancient city.
“Why have you never got one then?”
“Never got round to it, I guess.”
“Well, you should. They are great fun. My Dad had one at the marina up the road. We had great fun in the summer on it.”
“I might look into it then,” he replied, pondering lazy days on the river.
“You will obviously have to save up a bit first!” I teased him.
“Of course!” he laughed, pulling me in for a tender kiss.
I absently glanced at my watch.
“She will be okay, baby,” he whispered, seeing the tension in my body.
“I know, she is a tough old bird!”
“Let’s head home.”
“Thanks for being there, Zack.”
“What are friends for?”
“You are the best friend I have ever had.”
I am the worst that you have ever had.
Chapter Forty One
“Do you want me to come to the hospital with you?” Zack asked me.
“Of course I do! Mum will go mad if you are not there.”
“You are probably right.”
“Come on, gorgeous. Let’s go and see what mischief she has been getting up to!”
On the journey over, my earlier bravado had left me as I gripped Zack’s hand tightly as we headed to the ward.
Jack was pacing up and down whilst Chloe watched him from an uncomfortable plastic chair. She gave me a warm hug when she saw us. She smiled at Zack and flushed red.
“How is she, Jack?”
“She’s a bit woozy but otherwise fine. Dad is in there with her, they are strict on visitors. Go in and see her.”
Zack squeezed himself into a chair next to Chloe. He turned and looked at me and gave me such a sweet smile. My heart skipped a beat as panic threatened to engulf me. He quickly stood up and pulled me into his chest.
“It will be okay. She needs you. Go on, JB,” he whispered, kissing my forehead.
I pulled reluctantly away from him and entered the room. Dad turned around and smiled at me.
“Pam, Jenny is here, darling.”
“Come in, Jenny. I need a hug,” she whispered into the dimly-lit private room.
My legs shook and my bottom lip wobbled as I stepped towards the bed. I looked down at her, forcing the tears to stop.
“Hi, Mum. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. Give me one of your beautiful smiles, darling, they always make me feel so much better.”
I plastered the biggest, widest smile I could muster on my face as I leant in for a big hug. She kissed the top of my head and held me close.
My huge sobs echoed around the quiet room.
“Hush, don’t cry, Jenny. I am going to be fine.”
Memories of Frankie pushed into my mind. She had sadly lost her battle to cancer. I couldn’t bear to think someone else I loved suffering so horribly.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I am trying so hard to be brave but I suck so much at it!”
“Is Zack with you?”
“Yes, he’s outside.”
“Go and get him, Bill, will you, darling?”
Dad got up from his chair and beckoned Zack inside the room.
“I will go for a coffee with Jack. I won’t be long,” Dad said.
I could see his chest rumbling with tightly held in emotions.
“Zack, come in dear,” Mum said, smiling broadly at him.
“How are you, Pamela?” he asked her as he brushed a kiss to her cheek.
“I am fine, thanks. The worst is over now. I know that the chemo isn’t going to be a walk in the park but I am damned if this bloody cancer is going to beat me!” she told him seriously.
“That's the spirit!” he laughed, resting his hands on my shoulders.
“Look after her, will you, Zack? I can see how you feel about her by the way you look at her.”
“I will Pamela, I promise.”
“Christ, I could do with a brandy and coke. You don’t fancy smuggling me some in, do you, Zack!”
Chapter Forty Two
After spending a couple more days up North, we headed back to Kent to get back to normality. Dad had promised to be in regular contact. Mum had come home from hospital and was in good spirits.
The next few days passed without incident as we settled back into our daily lives. DI Ross informed me that another witness had come forward after Billy’s shooting to say they saw a tall dark-haired main running towards a dark car.
The tail on Derek Fletcher had turned up nothing. He seemed to mainly work as a driver and, other than a penchant for lap dancing clubs and prostitutes, nothing of interest came up.
Zack said there was no record of who was driving the 4x4 BMW the day I was chased. Whoever took the car did it without the correct permission.
I also didn’t turn anything
up in the woods. It was a pointless exercise that was a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Scarlett seemed happy and she was clearly in the throes of first love. I didn’t tell Zack about her and maybe I should have but I could just imagine his reaction so I thought it best to keep quiet. Jasper looked really contented after our trip up North.
I managed to ride Puzzle again around the paddock, not daring to go into the woods just yet. Jonathan watched me and helped me to build my confidence back up.
The case was certainly taking some cracking and I was frustrated not be any further on. I suggested going into the office with Zack again to see if I could find anything more out. He agreed that I could go in with him the next day.
After a night spent with Zack wrapped in his arms, we dropped Scarlett and Jasper at college and carried on to Canterbury. It was such a beautiful city and I was looking forward to seeing the amazing view from Zack’s office again.
As we headed into his office, I could feel all eyes on me as we walked along, hand in hand. Zack didn’t seem bothered by the attention but it really made me feel uncomfortable.
“Joan can we have two coffees please?” Zack asked through the intercom.
“Yes, right away, Mr Cole.”
“What are you going to do? Snoop around here all day?” Zack teased me.
“Yes, I am determined to find out who killed Billy, attacked me on the ferry and nearly ran me over!”
“You have that sexy look when you are mad, Jennifer!”
After our coffee, I took a quick trip to the ladies. Whilst I was in the toilet, two young women came in chattering loudly.
“What do you think of Mr Cole’s latest bit of stuff?” one asked as I sat there in silence.
“I think she’s stunning and she has really big boobs!” the other one laughed.
I held my breath as they gossiped.
“Lucky bitch having him. I would give anything to sleep with him again. That night we hooked up was amazing. I mean he is enormous and he is the best shag I have ever had!” one of them joked as my hands clasped into fists of rage.
“Ha! You certainly bragged about it for long enough, Karen!”
