by M. L. Smith
I absurdly wanted to laugh at his last comment.
“What does Alex know?”
“Alex? Nothing, he just hates Zack because of Phoebe. She painted him as a monster.”
“I see. Please stand up and put your hands behind your back, David. I am going to take you into custody now.”
I switched off the recording device and put it in my bag.
Stupidly, I took my eyes off him for a moment.
He stood up quickly and turned around but at the last minute he spun back and grabbed my arm. I tried to twist away from him. The gun crashed loudly to the floor and before I knew it, he had me pinned underneath his heavy body.
“Get off, David, you are just making it harder for yourself,” I told him, struggling like a wild cat.
Why didn’t I cuff him earlier?
“Give me a kiss, Jennifer. I know you feel the sexual tension between us,” he said before plunging his tongue into my mouth.
I felt sick at his touch and memories of my attack at Cole Enterprises and in Zack’s bedroom came flooding back to me. I squirmed helplessly beneath him. My arms were trapped underneath him. His breathing was heavy and ragged. He smelt of whisky.
With all my strength, I managed to push him off me and I reached out to grab the gun but he pulled me back to him, ripping my top. He clawed at my breasts, grabbing me roughly.
Pushing me onto my back again, he undid my jeans and yanked them roughly down my legs.
Jesus! He was so strong!
I could hear someone screaming loudly.
I realised that it was me.
“No, get off me, David. Please!” I shouted.
Think, think Jennifer!
He was just too strong for me. David started spreading my legs. He fiddled with himself pushing closer to me. I could feel him pressing against me. Tears streamed down my face.
I turned my head as someone barged noisily into the room.
“Get the fuck off her, David!”
I looked up and saw Zack standing there. I had never been so pleased to see someone in my life.
“Zack, get the gun!” I screamed.
He walked over and picked it up then he hauled David off me with one hand.
“Sit down, you bastard!” he shouted, right in his face after hitting him hard.
Blood poured out of his mouth. David took a seat on the sofa and looked genuinely scared of Zack.
I fumbled around for my clothes and I found that I was shaking like a leaf.
“What are you doing here, Jennifer?”
His eyes flashed angrily at me.
“I had my suspicions that David was the killer so I came here to confront him. Turns out I was right.”
“Why the hell do you have a gun, Jennifer?”
“She’s a detective, Zack, that’s why!” David shouted helpfully.
His trousers were still around his ankles. I didn’t want to look at him, I just wanted to kill the bastard.
“You’re a what?” Zack shouted, glaring at me.
His face dropped and he wore a very hurt expression. Oh no, this was worse than I thought.
“I’m sorry. I have been undercover,” I told him quietly.
“So none of our relationship was real to you, Jennifer? It was just some sick fucking joke! You lying bitch!”
“Of course it was real. I love you. Look, can we discuss this later? I need to take him into custody and face a shit load of trouble for coming in here on my own. Anyway, what are you doing here, Zack?”
“I followed you, you were acting weird. I can’t believe you could lie to me like that!” Zack shouted, clearly furious.
“Stand up, David. Now!” I instructed him.
He obeyed me and put his hands behind his back.
“Zack, I didn’t tell her anything!” David told him.
“What are you talking about, David?” Zack said.
I looked at them both. They eyed each other cautiously. A tense silence enveloped the room.
“David, I need to read you your rights before you say anything else,” I told him quietly.
I started reading him his rights and put the handcuffs on him when Zack suddenly grabbed the gun out of my hand and shot David at point-blank range in the head.
The gunshot echoed around the room as his large lean body slumped to the floor. His head banged off a low coffee table as he went down. I felt the warmth of his blood as it splattered into my face. My stomach heaved at the revolting sight of the bullet in his forehead.
It was surreal scene, like we had stepped onto a Tarantino film set. Bright red blood seeped around his head as he lay on the cream carpet. His glassy brown dead eyes were looking right up at me. His mouth gaped open.
“Zack, Jesus! What the hell did you do that for?” I screamed.
I couldn’t believe what he had just done. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears. My mouth was dry. I stared at him, waiting for his answer. He turned to look at me.
“He was going to attack you again. He moved towards you. I took action to protect you or you could say you shot him. Whatever you like, Jennifer. You are the police, after all,” he calmly told me, looking blankly into my eyes.
He was acting as cool as a contract hit man. A shudder passed down my spine. My hands were shaking.
“I need to ring this in. I will say I shot him.”
I was trying my best not to panic. It would be a lot easier to say that I fired the gun. He obviously snapped and to be honest I wanted him dead after all the hurt he had caused.
After making the call, I wiped the gun of Zack’s fingerprints and stashed it in the waistband of my jeans. We took a seat side by side in the lounge and I tried not to look at David’s still lifeless body.
“I’m sorry about lying, Zack, but I was just doing my job. My feelings for you are real. Please don’t ever doubt that. I have never loved anyone like I love you.”
“I know you were doing your job. Did he hurt you?” he said flatly.
“No, he didn’t. I will be okay. I wanted to kill him too. You just did it first and the truth never leaves this room, ever.”
A stray tear slid down my face as I looked at him. He wouldn’t turn to look at me. He kept his distance, moving further away from me.
A huge gulf opened between us.
I wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me everything would be alright.
I really didn't think it would be though.
I went into the station for a debriefing and a heavy reprimand about going in on my own. I was interviewed about discharging my weapon and Zack was also interviewed. I had been there since 8am.
I would receive an official warning about it but other than that, everyone was pleased that the murders of Phoebe and Billy had been solved.
Apparently Razor Ross fought my corner and told the powers that be upstairs what I had been through. He also admitted that he should have authorised around the clock surveillance of David Simms.
Whether Phoebe’s body was ever discovered was another thing.
“Your dress came up as a match to David Simms. He was arrested for attempted rape while he was at university and the semen showed up as a match. We also recovered partial prints from the steering wheel and it was his hair you obtained from the car seats. With your taped confession, we have got things all wrapped up. Also a witness came forward to say that Phoebe and David had a huge row in the conference room on the day of her disappearance. He threatened to kill her then. Well done, Black, you really pulled the stops out on this one. Stuart Marshall sent a letter of congratulations to you.”
“Thanks, Sir. Well, I am glad it’s all over. Is it okay if I take some leave? I feel totally wiped out.”
“Yes, no problem. Take a couple of weeks off. Go somewhere nice and hot! Will you go with the dashing, Mr Cole?”
“Err, I’m not sure, Sir. I don’t know where I stand with him.”
“You really love him, don’t you?”
Razor Ross smiled warmly at me.
I sighed heavily.
“By the way, I have printed the application forms for your Sergeant’s exam. You can get them back to me when you return from leave and, Black, really well done again.”
He got up and gave me a bear hug.
What the hell!
“Thanks, Sir,” I babbled, completely embarrassed.
I gathered up the papers and bolted out of the room. I was reluctant to return to the house as I was unsure of the status of my relationship with Zack.
He had a lot to get his head around.
Could he trust me again?
One thing was for sure, I would certainly miss the Audi but not as much as I would miss Mr Zachary Cole and his family.
Chapter Sixty Five
When I pulled up at the house, I really didn’t know whether to go in or not. Zack was really distant with me last night so I decided to sleep in my own room to give him some space.
I was sitting in the driver’s seat with my eyes closed thinking when there was a loud knock on the window. My eyes flew open and I saw Zack standing there with a worried look on his face.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked as I put the window down.
He looked tired and his features were strained.
“I was just thinking.”
“We need to talk, are you coming inside?” he asked impatiently, walking back towards the house with his shoulders slouched.
I got out of the car and locked the door behind me. Walking into the house, I could feel tears welling up in my tired eyes. I had hardly slept last night and tossed and turned for most of the night.
I followed him into the kitchen.
“Zack, please can you just scream and shout at me or something? I can’t stand it when you shut me out!”
I wearily sat down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.
He turned around to look at me. His face was impassive and gave nothing away. He suddenly moved really close to me.
“What the hell do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you how much you have hurt me? Do you want me to ask you if you really ever loved me? Do you want to know if I still love you? You know that I do! I love you so much it physically hurts! Do you want to see me fall apart piece by piece? I won’t do that for you or for anyone, DC Jennifer Fucking Black!” he shouted into the uncomfortable silence.
I had never seen him so hurt and angry. I went to him and gently touched his shoulder.
“Get off me! Don’t you dare touch me!” he growled, glaring at me.
“I should just go, Zack,” I whispered, backing away.
I walked towards the door of the room and looked back at him. He was looking down and gripping the worktop as tears gathered in his beautiful eyes. My heart ached with love for him but I thought that it was too late for us.
The gulf between us opened even wider. There was too much water under the bridge. I bolted upstairs and packed most of my stuff shoving it into a small case. Walking downstairs I pulled out my mobile and started to dial a taxi.
“What are you doing, Jennifer?”
“I’m ringing for a taxi. I’m going to my flat in town.”
“No, I will take you.”
“Okay, if you are sure.”
“Come on then, I haven’t got all day!” he barked.
His blue eyes looked so cold, empty and sad.
He stashed my case in the boot of the Range Rover and I climbed in. I was pleased that the twins were at their grandparents and that they didn't have to see the complete holy mess that was our relationship.
We travelled along for a while not talking as I stared out of the window. The silence hung heavy in the car.
“Zack, is that it then, are we done?” I asked him quietly.
I carried on staring out of the window. It was killing me to look at him.
“I don’t want it to be but we need some space. The twins need me more than ever with the funeral and they will always come first with me, Jennifer.”
“I know they will, Zack. That’s the way it should be. I am so very sorry about everything,” I told him as my voice caught.
I forced a sob back down. He didn’t answer me but he gently touched my hand and squeezed it. I decided to just let go of my tears.
“Please don’t cry, Jennifer, I can’t bear it,” he whispered as his voice grew thick.
“It’s just here on the left,” I told him between my sobs.
We pulled up outside the flat and Zack got my case out of the boot. He gave it to me and our hands brushed together.
God, I didn’t want us to be apart but I knew he was right. He needed to get his head around what had happened and concentrate on his kids and the funeral.
“Do you want me to take your case up for you?”
“No, I can manage thanks,” I sniffled.
Suddenly he pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly. It was a really sweet gentle kiss. It could be the last one he ever gave me. I relaxed my tense shoulders into him as tears gathered once more. I stroked his hair gently and clung to him.
After our kiss, he held me kissing the top of my head. His heart fluttered softly. It was like torture as I knew that we might not get back together and my heart started to break into a million pieces. I tried my hardest to hold it together.
“I love you, Jennifer, and I will see you in a few days,” he whispered.
“I love you too, Zack, so much. I wrote you a letter. Can you read it when you get home, please?”
I passed it to him and looked into his eyes. They were heavy with unshed tears. I wobbled through the doors with my case and watched him from the communal hallway.
He was staring at the letter and turning it over in his hands. I saw him put it inside his leather jacket pocket. He took a few steps towards where I was standing then abruptly turned around.
God, he looked so breathtakingly beautiful, so perfect.
He was mine for a time and it was a wonderful feeling.
It was the best ever.
In my heart of hearts, I knew he was far too good for me.
Way out of my league.
I had broken him and he didn’t deserve that.
I had done what Scarlett had said I would do.
I had ripped his heart out.
After a few moments, he jumped back into his car, put his sunglasses on and roared off. I trudged wearily over to the lift and pressed the button to my floor.
No more tears came, just emptiness and loneliness.
Opening the door of the flat, I found that it was really cold and dark. I rushed over to the boiler, putting the heating and water on.
Next, I opened my alcohol cupboard in the small kitchen.
Finding the vodka, I poured myself a generous measure and I took a huge gulp. My throat burned as the vodka went down.
After I had finished, I poured some more.
I collapsed onto the sofa and put on a music channel. A Queen track played. Too much love will kill you.
Give me a fucking break!
Grabbing my phone, I texted my friend Rosie. We worked together. She texted back straight away and told me she would meet me in the Black Swan around the corner in an hour.
I thought about the letter that I had written, wondering if he had read it yet. I had also enclosed an USB stick with some special music on.
Chapter Sixty Six
My dearest Zack,
I know that you are hurting right now and I hope you realise that I am too, so much.
When you came into my life, I wasn’t looking for love but I definitely found it. I was doing a job and I never expected to meet the love of my life. I really can’t put into words what you mean to me.
I hope that you can understand that I was given an assignment to do, an assignment that I was successful in, an assignment that eventually gave you the truth.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. To sa
y that you are my dream man would be an understatement and when you invited me into your home, I had no idea that you would invite me into your heart too. It was certainly love at first sight for me and you told me once that you felt the same deep connection with me too.
I understand that you will feel that you can’t trust me and that everything we shared was based on a lie. My heart isn’t lying when I tell you that you have touched a special place in there that no one else ever has.
No one else ever will, Zack.
My heart will always be yours.
When we made love, it was so special, every single time.
You are the most wonderful lover and you always made me feel so loved, so special, so beautiful. I will never, ever forget that feeling.
I really hope that you can find it in your big heart to forgive me and move forward with me in your life because I want nothing more than to be in yours and the twin’s lives.
You really are an amazing father to them and you should be very proud of that. You love them fiercely and you protect them fiercely. They couldn’t ask for anything more.
They love you so much and so do I, Zack.
Please forgive me and you won’t regret it. I promise.
I’m so very, very sorry.
Please believe me.
If you don’t want me, I will walk away. It will kill me but I will do it. I will get a transfer to a station near home up North. I wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of being near you and you not being mine.
Yours forever and ever.
Mind, body and soul.
Your brown-eyed girl, Jenny Bear <3 xxxxx
Chapter Sixty Seven
I wobbled unsteadily to the shower to freshen up.
After my shower, I started to feel a bit more like myself as I got dressed. I locked the flat up and headed out of the door towards the pub.
What was I going to do if we didn’t get back together? I loved him so much. I would never ever feel that like about anyone else. I knew I wouldn’t.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to push thoughts of Zack out of my head as I walked confidently into the busy pub.
