by Lana Grayson
“Now that’s just a sexy little dress.” Reed dropped the video game controller. He called me over with a curled finger. “Goddamn, Sarah. How are you feeling?”
His new code word for if I needed any hormones soothed in a wide ride on the couch. I flicked his forehead.
“Doctor’s appointment in a bit. I should behave.”
“What, not like you’re gonna get more knocked up.” He glanced over my shoulder at Max. “That can’t happen, right?”
Not like Max would answer. He hardly looked at me, never touched me, refused to speak to me beyond the simplest of questions or comments. Whatever guilt poisoned him pitted him in a darkness I could no longer reach. He stayed to protect me, to manage the bodyguards and security we organized, but he wasn’t my Max anymore.
And I had no idea what I did to lose him.
Or how to get him back.
“She’s at maximum capacity,” he said.
Reed’s devilish grin lured the dimple from our secrets. “Not yet. Want to get adventurous again, Sarah?”
“I feel like I have too many Bennetts in me already.”
“You can fit a couple more.”
“You’re wicked.”
His eyes, bright green and full of mischief, lingered over the neck line of my dress and fell to the swell of the baby.
“And you’re so fucking tempting.”
I glanced to Max for his declarations. He stared at his phone and entertained only his drink.
Quiet.
Sullen.
As always.
I pretended it didn’t hurt.
Nicholas returned as promised, insisting I wait so he could join me at the doctor’s appointment. His gaze brightened over me. I earned his smile.
It was a rare sight made more common in the past few weeks.
“You look…”
I shrugged. “Pregnant?”
“Lovely.” He motioned to the door. “I apologize for running late. The transition is more difficult than we anticipated.”
I handed him my contract, though I didn’t release the papers from my grip, even as he met my gaze. “Anthony looked over the agreement for my research. Everything is set. I’ve signed.”
Reed whistled. “Momentous fucking occasion. Who would have thought we’d have an Atwood research division in the company?”
“Not my father,” I said.
Nicholas agreed. “Or mine.”
“This is the right call,” I said. “Atwood Industries doesn’t have the resources or manpower to begin a research and development division. You’re actually helping me.”
“We’re helping each other,” he said. “President Atwood.”
Oh, that was a thrill. Especially as we had a new plan. Once Bumper was born, I’d take the remainder of my classes and earn my degree, all the while overseeing my labs in a directional capacity. Then, once I secured my doctorate, I’d lead the brilliant minds overseeing my research.
Dream come true.
I released the contract, and Nicholas tucked it into his jacket pocket. One discussion down. I broached the next subject carefully.
“I received an email today,” I said. “They found Bryant Maddox’s body.”
I anticipated my step-brothers’ reaction, though only Reed flinched when I mentioned his name. Max’s expression remained as dark as ever. Nicholas arched an eyebrow.
“I heard the same news.”
“He was pretty battered and bruised from the rocks under the cliff. They said he jumped and ruled his death a suicide.”
“He was a troubled man.”
“Don’t do that.” My voice lowered. “Don’t pretend, Nicholas Bennett. What really happened?”
“Apparently, Bryant wished to end his life.”
“I’m not stupid, Nick. How much did it cost you to keep this quiet?”
“Bryant made a few reprehensible, unredeemable decisions, and now he’s gone. I don’t want you to concern yourself with it.”
“I deserve to know the truth.” My gaze passed from Nicholas to Reed to Max. “From all of you. Haven’t we kept enough secrets from each other? It always ends with one of us hurt. Usually me.” I shrugged. “Sometimes Reed.”
“I promised you I’d do everything in my power to keep you safe.” Nicholas approached only to kiss my forehead. “I’m doing that, Sarah.”
I didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to think it, but his name was bitter on my tongue.
“And what about Darius? When will we be safe from him?”
“Soon.”
I shook my head. “That’s not good enough.”
“We can’t act on it and the company too. You wanted it this way. You wanted his family—and you got me. You wanted his empire—now you own it with me. Take your victories when they come, Sarah. Believe me. They are very few and far between in this world—”
It was a thud.
Not a flutter. Not a little tickle.
A freaking thud.
I gasped, my hands covering my belly. Nicholas paled, reaching for me. Max knocked his chair over. Reed leapt over the couch to my side.
“What’s wrong?” Nicholas squeezed my arm. “Sarah, what’s wrong—”
“Bumper…”
“Are you okay? Does something hurt? Here, sit—”
I grabbed Nicholas’s hand, pushing his palm against my tummy.
“No,” I whispered. “Bumper’s…bumping.”
The books said it would feel like a poke, but it wasn’t. More like a popped bubble and then a swift twump. I lost my breath in a teary gasp.
“He’s kicking?” Nicholas said.
“He’s kicking.”
Reed lunged at us, and I guided his hand to the little bumps. I waved Max over as well.
“Max, come touch this.” I wiped the tears from my cheek, blaming the hormones for the quick burst of overwhelmed joy and tender embarrassment. “It’s fucking weird.”
Max tensed, crossing his arms. “It’s fine.”
“Max.”
“Sarah, really.”
I might have thought he wasn’t attracted to me while pregnant, but I’d seen his glances, sensed his heat. Max avoided me for too many reasons, and it ached to not know why. He watched my lip tremble as I called for him, sighed, and shifted closer. He offered his hand, and I placed it over my tummy.
Bumper stopped. Max shrugged.
“I don’t feel it.”
“I think that’s all he did,” I said. “I’m sure he’ll do it again, just wait…”
Max pulled away. He skulked to the bar to pour yet another drink.
“We’ll bring him a picture of the sonogram.” Nicholas squeezed my hand. “Excited about the appointment?”
I was more than excited. I was thrilled.
Nicholas and I had never been…happy. The thought rocked me. We were in love. We survived so much horror. We had the company. Each other. But we never had the chance to exist beyond all the insanity.
Bumper kicked again.
I rubbed the swelling and fought the weepy tears. The good tears. “Let’s go see our son.”
Reed wished us luck, but I’d need more than that. I hated doctors and hospitals, though my pulmonologist never made me strip when he chastised me for my chronically disappointing lungs.
Not so for the OBGYN.
Everything about the office intimidated me, from the backless gowns that either revealed too much of my bump or all of my butt to the weird metal instruments I didn’t want anywhere near me. Nicholas promised ice cream when we were done.
I wanted a cheese steak sub instead. Except without the steak.
I scooted onto the exam table. Nicholas squeezed my hand as the doctor jokingly referred to him as Daddy.
“All right, Ms. Atwood.” Doctor Liam squirted a bit of jelly over my tummy. “Your weight looks okay. The bloodwork is normal. How’s the asthma?”
“Fine,” I said.
She knew better and asked Nicholas. “How’s the asthma?”
“Twice,” Nicholas said. “Twice this week.”
Doctor Liam nodded. “Well, as you progress, you might find the shortness of breath worsening. I want you to schedule a follow-up with your pulmonologist after this appointment. Tell Doctor Miller it’s important.”
“I’ll make sure he sees her,” Nicholas said. “Immediately.”
And he would. Nicholas had already summoned him on a house call to the penthouse after I had a particularly bad night of coughing. Doctor Miller wasn’t thrilled by the interruption to his schedule, but the invoice was more than satisfactory to earn his personal cell-phone number.
The gel spread over my belly, and Doctor Liam pulled the ultrasound machine close. She grinned.
“Okay, let’s see the little guy.”
Nicholas took my hand. I swallowed the excitement, holding my breath as the screen blinked and then he was there.
In all his fuzzy glory.
The black and white contrast of a little head, wiggling toes, and a whole lot of bumping as Doctor Liam harassed him with the wand to make him move.
“Okay…” She took a few pictures and nodded. “The baby is growing very nicely. Getting plenty of oxygen, even if Momma isn’t.”
Hilarious. I politely smiled.
“And everything is looking just perfect. Here’s Baby’s head, and down here is Baby’s little arm. Let’s see if we can turn a little—”
The wand poked again. I bit my lip. Nicholas stared, transfixed at the screen. He pointed.
“And there?”
Doctor Liam nodded. “Toes. Baby’s a little curled up, but that should let us see everything very clearly.”
I did see everything. A beautiful, perfect little Bumper, snug and cozy in the safest place for him.
“Aha!” She took another picture. “Congratulations, you two. She is a perfectly healthy baby.”
My heart stilled, and my intake of air crashed against a rapidly closing airway.
I sat up, staring at the screen. “What did you say?”
I didn’t want her to repeat it. I couldn’t handle if she said it.
Nicholas gripped my fingers until they threatened to break. I didn’t care. I gripped him just as hard.
“I said you two will be the proud parents of a healthy baby girl.”
A girl.
Now my throat did close, but I’d never reach my inhaler.
A girl.
Oh, no.
Not this.
Anything but…
“Are you sure?” Nicholas’s voice snapped, hard. “Absolutely sure that the baby is…a girl?”
Doctor Liam pointed to the screen. “Right there. I’m sorry, you indicated you wanted to know the gender when we made the appointment…”
No.
I didn’t want to know the gender.
I only wanted to know one gender.
A boy. A male heir. The only reason Darius Bennett had ever forced his sons to kidnap me, imprison me, and rape me.
He wanted a male child, the rightful heir to my father’s ridiculous will that stated I was not worthy enough to tend to my family’s empire, to hold the power of the company, to act in any aspect.
My father trusted an unborn child more than his own daughter.
And Darius seized that opportunity to force that child within me.
A girl.
Bumper was a girl.
The thought crippled me. I wheezed, and Nicholas hurried to offer me the inhaler. I puffed, but it didn’t help. This wasn’t asthma. This was fear. Choking, gasping, terrible fear that sliced through me and threatened the wiggling little bundle of innocence who didn’t belong in a world of terror and misfortune.
Doctor Liam cleared her throat. “Ms. Atwood, Mr. Bennett, I understand some parents hope for one gender over the other, however; you’ll find that whether your baby is a boy or girl, they’re still your child.”
She didn’t understand, and her words only caused more pain. I didn’t know if Bumper was our child, and the only thought more horrifying than the baby being female was if she were Darius’s daughter.
I hadn’t dared to consider it. In my own foolishness I revealed the pregnancy and played my hand, challenged Darius and moved on the Bennett Corporation. I never considered that at the end of nine months, it’d fall apart.
He’d hurt the baby.
Worse.
He’d kill the baby.
Nicholas’s eyes hardened. His jaw clenched, but the mellow smoothness of his voice hadn’t changed, hadn’t revealed the danger.
“Doctor Liam,” he said. “I will give you one hundred thousand dollars if you alter the sonogram.”
I blinked. So did my doctor.
“Excuse me?” she whispered.
“One hundred thousand dollars if you misread the sonogram and declare the child to be male.”
“I…can’t…”
“I will write you a check immediately. To either you or your practice. Consider it a donation for the care you’ve provided Ms. Atwood.”
“You want me to lie about the sex of the baby?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I shook my head, my words lost in a tight wheeze. “Because we have no choice.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nicholas leaned forward. “You don’t need to understand. Change the result of the sonogram.”
“I can’t,” she said. “Anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of human anatomy will recognize that this…” She circled Bumper’s little bottom. “Is female.”
“Then find another sonogram and label it as Ms. Atwood’s results.”
“I—”
I held her gaze, unable to hide the fear prickling the tears in my eyes. “Please.”
“One hundred thousand,” Nicholas said. “You know our families. The money is good, and it’s yours for this favor.”
Doctor Liam hesitated, her eyes fluttered closed. “If this ever gets out—”
“It won’t,” he said. “Please. Find us a replacement picture and the money is yours.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She rose to her feet. The screen flicked off, and Bumper disappeared. “This is…insanity. I’ll be back. Don’t…go anywhere.”
The door shut behind her, and my tears rattled me from head to toe. Nicholas leaned over me, kissing my forehead, gripping my hand.
“Darius can’t know,” I said. “The baby will be born in four months. We can’t wait any longer, Nick. He’ll kill her. He’ll kill me.”
“Not going to happen.” Nicholas caressed my cheek. “Nothing has changed. We can hide Bumper’s gender until she’s born, and he’ll never find out. Nothing has changed.”
He kissed me. The golden halo in his eyes returned, strengthened with a sudden, fierce pride.
“We’re having a little girl.” His smile seared through the fear.
A little girl. I sucked in a breath. Then another.
We had a healthy baby.
Boy or girl, it didn’t matter anymore. She was healthy. She was perfect. She was mine.
And nothing was going to harm her.
“Your father should be terrified,” I whispered.
Nicholas frowned. “Why?”
“Because if one Atwood woman nearly killed him?” My voice steeled with a newfound confidence. “Imagine the destruction caused by two Atwood women.”
21
Sarah
The champagne popped. Reed chugged the bottle. I stared at my ginger ale.
“This isn’t fair.” I pouted, burying my feet in the warm sand. “I turn twenty-one, and you guys get to drink.”
The noisemaker buzzed from Reed’s mouth. I batted it away.
“Just be glad you survived.” Max showed no interest in the cake, but a pretty silver package wrapped for me with his name on the tag. “Didn’t think you’d last this long, baby.”
The waves rolled in clo
se. I kicked at Reed’s surfboard. “I’m tougher than I look.”
“So is Abigail,” Nicholas said. Reed and I voted with four thumbs down. “Claire?”
I shook my head.
He poured another drink and opened the second baby name book with a sigh. “Madison?”
“Bumper,” I said. It was so much easier and safer. I didn’t want to risk anything on our little vacation far from the truth and secrets and danger. “For now.”
Nicholas brushed my hand, his kiss soft and warm and promising to make my birthday night just as fun as the afternoon. “What would make this day perfect? Name it. It’s yours.”
That was easy and impossible. I met his lips with a gentle nibble.
“I don’t want this day to end. I wish I could stay here forever.”
If only because I dreaded what would happen when we returned home.
“I have another surprise for you,” Nicholas said. “I think you’ll like it.”
The limo pulled from the airport and returned us to San Jose.
I feared we’d regret it.
“What kind of surprise?” I asked.
“You’ll see. I want to show you before the party.”
I checked my phone. Only two hours before Nicholas’s induction as the new CEO of the Bennett Corporation. The party forced us back to reality, swept away from my birthday adventure on the beach to assume our rightful responsibilities—the ones we fought to earn, and the ones we now dreaded possessing.
“Do we have time?”
“It won’t take long.” He squeezed my hand. “I can’t wait to show you.”
I doubted he’d show me anything that would ease the prickling, suffocating, consuming instinct to run once more.
I’d never look back.
An altered sonogram would only fool Darius until my daughter was born. Then it wouldn’t end until one of us was dead.
And it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me.
I made my plan. Plane tickets and duplicates, hotel reservations and rented properties, false trails and security details. It could all come together in less than an afternoon. If I needed it. If I had no other choice. If the risks in staying out-numbered the reasons to remain.
And they did.
But I hadn’t gone. And I knew why.
I wanted Nicholas to come with me—with us.
The surprise waited for me at Nicholas’s penthouse. He guided me through the hall.
