“Thanks,” I whisper and turn for the door. This is all my fault. This entire disaster is my fault.
***
I didn’t see Chas for the rest of the day. He didn’t try to find me, or talk to me, or anything. Not that I lasted very long at school. After I left Mrs. B.’s classroom, I hid in the girl’s bathroom crying for half an hour and then called my mom and told her I threw up at school. I’ve been holed up in my room under my comforter ever since.
There’s a soft knock on my door, and Tessa lets herself into my room. “You okay, Livvie?”
“Not really.” I pull the cover off my face just enough to look at Tess.
She gently sits on the bed next to me. “I heard Talia flipped out pretty badly in class. Is that why you’re so upset?”
“Yes. And no.”
“I saw the blog was deleted too,” she says.
I sit up next to her. “Yeah, I took it down as soon as I got home. I should have done that weeks ago. I never should have put it up.” I don’t know what I was thinking. That wasn’t like me. What, am I suddenly one of those girls so desperate for attention they’ll do anything? Was five thousand hits a day worth destroying a family?
“Aw, Liv.” Tessa puts an arm around my shoulder. “I know you feel like it’s all your fault, but Talia’s dad would have found out about his wife and Dr. Harris’s affair eventually.”
I think about this. “Maybe.”
We sit in silence a moment. “Chas knows about the blog now too. And Mrs. B.”
Tessa looks taken aback. “Oh no, Mrs. B. knows it was you?”
“Yeah. It’s okay though. She was the one feeding me the stories. She’s been sending me anonymous tips on people through the blog.”
“What? Shut. Up. No way.” Tessa shakes her head.
I sigh. “It’s a long story. And it ends with it’s all my fault, Chas hates me now, and I have no idea how to fix any of it.”
Tessa scrunches up her face. “I’m so sorry, Liv.”
We sit quietly for a few minutes, thinking.
“You’ll get through this,” Tessa finally says. “It’s not like you and Chas were going to get married or anything. He’s just a guy.”
I shrug. Yeah, a great guy. These last four weeks with him have been so much fun. He’s so cute and funny and sweet. Why did I go and screw it up?
“Well, I almost had a real boyfriend,” I say.
“It’ll get better,” Tessa says. “It’s going to sting pretty badly for a while, but you’ll get over him, you’ll see. Wait.” Tessa looks at me alarmed. “Is he going to tell people that you did the blog?”
“No,” I say quickly. “He wouldn’t do that, I mean, it’d turn everyone at school against me. At least, I don’t think he would.” Ugh, more to worry about. I bury my head back in my pillow.
“Okay.” Tessa leaps up off the bed. “Let’s get you out of this room. Would shopping cheer you up? We could buy new shoes. Or do you want to go for mani-pedis?”
I shake my head. I kinda just want to be alone right now.
There’s a knock at my door, and my mom pops her head in. “Liv? Chas is here. He’s sitting out front, waiting for you.”
I look at Tessa in alarm. “What do I do?”
“Want me to tell him to go away?” Tessa says, standing up.
“No, no. I mean, he came all the way over here to say something or hear me say something. I should probably go see what he wants, right?” Unless he only came over to yell at me and tell me that he’s personally told the whole school that I’m the Thompson Tattler and a lynch mob is forming as we speak. I could do without that.
“So you’re going to talk to him?” she asks, looking doubtful.
“Shouldn’t I?” I ask, but I already know that I’m going to. I have to at least try to make it better.
Tessa shrugs. “It’s on you.”
“I’m going to go talk to him,” I tell her.
Tessa walks me outside and gives Chas a warning look before saying goodbye to me. I tell her I’ll call her later and sit down next to Chas on the front stoop. He’s wringing his hands together and looks nervous.
“Hi,” Chas says without looking at me.
“Hi,” I reply.
And then uncomfortable silence. Chas stands up and begins pacing on the sidewalk in front of me. My heart is practically beating out of my chest.
Finally he comes to a halt and looks at me. “You’re the Tattler.”
“Was,” I correct him. “I took the blog down.”
Chas doesn’t say anything, and I don’t either. The silence is killing me.
He folds his arms across his chest. “I just don’t get why you were doing it, why you lied about it,” he says, his voice controlled.
“I didn’t lie,” I protest. “I just didn’t confess.”
Chas’s jaw drops and he glares at me.
“Okay, okay, I wasn’t truthful,” I say. “And I don’t know why I did it. I was getting into the project and I guess it seemed like it would be fun to do. Just throw everything up online and see what people thought. And then more and more people were coming to the blog. And the more who came, the more I wanted to post. People wanted to read what I had to say. I guess it became addictive.”
“Let me get this straight. Because it was fun and people were coming to read your blog, you thought you’d ruin Talia’s life and throw pictures up of her mom having an affair. No big deal. What kind of common sense is that?” Chas says, getting angrier. “I told you we weren’t using those pictures.”
“Well, we technically didn’t. I did,” I point out.
Chas stiffens. “That’s right, you lied,” he adds, a hurt look on his face. “The stolen camera story.”
Oh yeah. God, I’m an awful person. I nod. “You’re right. I did lie about that. But…” I trail off. I’m not sure what else to say. He’s right about everything.
“I’ve gotta go,” Chas announces abruptly, turning his back to me and heading down my sidewalk.
“Chas, wait. Where does this leave us?” I call out.
“I don’t know,” he yells back as he slides into the driver’s seat of his car and pulls away.
Great. Confirmation. Chas hates me.
How am I going to make this right?
Chapter 29
“Thanks for agreeing to meet with me,” I say, absentmindedly stirring my coffee with a straw.
“It’s okay,” Talia says. Her eyes look tired like she hasn’t been sleeping, and her hair is tossed in a messy bun. “I was happy to get out of the house. My mom is just moping around all day. Not exactly a fun place to be.”
“I’m so sorry about that.”
“No need for you to be sorry. You didn’t do anything.”
I take a deep breath. Here goes. “That’s the thing. I…I sorta did.” I brace myself, waiting for Talia to leap over the table and strangle me like a reality show housewife.
But she doesn’t move. She’s just staring at me, slack-jawed. “What do you mean, you ‘sorta did’?”
Oh man, this is awful. I just need to say it fast and get it out there. I stop stirring my coffee and fold my hands on the table, trying to keep them from shaking. “I’m the Thompson Tattler. I put all that stuff up on the blog, including the pictures of your Mom and Dr. Harris.” I want to close my eyes but I know if I do I won’t see her coming at me, so I force myself to keep them open.
“You? You’re the Thompson Tattler?” Talia says and lets out a strange laugh. “No…no way. You wouldn’t do that. That’s just crazy.”
I shrug. “Yeah, it is. But I did do it.”
Talia shakes her head. “I thought for sure it was Madison Campbell.”
Talia still seems rather calm. Why isn’t she screaming at me? “No. All me. Do you want to kill me now?”
“Well, yes. And no. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around you being the Tattler. You’re the one who put all that information out there for the whole world to see. You put those pictures
of my mother up there…”
Okay, here it comes. I brace myself for her wrath.
“That was a really sucky thing to do,” she concludes.
“I know, and I’m so sorry. It was incredibly bad judgment, that’s for sure. I wasn’t thinking about the outcome of what I was doing. If I had known it would destroy your family like this, I wouldn’t have done it. I mean, of course I should have known what would happen. It was so stupid of me. I just got caught up in the dumb blog.”
Talia nods. “I understand.”
“You do?” I ask. So the padding I wore underneath my clothes today was completely unnecessary? She’s not going to kick my butt?
“I’m a bit of a Facebook addict,” she says. “I’ve put up things a few times that I deeply regretted later on. I get how tempting it is to put things online. And, well, you didn’t ruin my family.”
“I didn’t?”
“Uh-uh. Turned out my dad already knew and had asked my mom for a separation. He didn’t even see the pictures. He had already planned on leaving, and I just assumed it was from the blog.”
No. Way. “I really didn’t ruin your family?” I can’t help feeling a wave of relief.
“No, it was ruining itself just fine on its own.” Talia tries to laugh at her own joke. “But I’m glad you took the blog down. I think everyone in class is probably glad it’s gone.”
“Yeah.” So Talia isn’t going to kill me. And Chas most likely hates me, but I’m not one hundred percent sure. And the rest of the class doesn’t know yet. Maybe they won’t find out? Ah, who am I kidding? I have to do something. I can’t just depend on all of these people, Talia, Chas, Mrs. B., even Tessa, not to out me. I have to right the situation.
And then it suddenly comes to me. The way I can fix this. Well, not entirely fix it. But a way I can begin. “Hey, Talia,” I say, “don’t tell anyone I’m the Tattler yet, okay? I think I know what I have to do.”
Chapter 30
Back at home, I cross my bedroom to my laptop on my desk and take a seat in the chair. I position my web cam to get all of me in the frame, and take a picture. Perfect.
I log on and get right to work. With a final click, the Thompson Tattler is back up and running. Temporarily. I upload the picture of me and title the post, Thompson Tattler Exposed. Now for the story.
Livvie Peterson creates blog, ruins lives, and feels like pond scum.
It’s true. For weeks now the students of Thompson High School have been wondering who could be behind the infamous Thompson Tattler gossip blog. Why would someone post pictures and stories from a class project online for all the world to see? Who could do something like that?
And the answer is me. Livvie Peterson. I’m outing myself. I alone did it. And it was a really stupid thing to do.
I hurt people. I exposed things that people didn’t want exposed. People trusted me, one in particular, and I let him down. I made a big mistake. A giant mistake. A mistake of massively huge proportions.
I ran the blog just for fun at first. But as I kept it up, more and more people came to read what I was posting. And I got caught up in it. I was exploiting people’s personal business to gain followers and get more hits. To get people to listen to me. To pay attention to what I had to say. It got away from me, and I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t. All I can do is tell you that I’m deeply sorry to those whom I’ve hurt and I hope you can one day forgive me.
Livvie Peterson
I close the comments on the post because this time it’s not about getting a bunch of comments or hits. The people who will have something to say to me will say it to my face at school. I click Publish. It’s all out there.
***
My stomach is in knots. Tessa offered to walk into school with me today, but I told her no. I don’t want it to look like I need someone to protect me from, well, whatever is going to happen today. I’ve got to just take it. Even if I’m pelted with oranges. Though I really hope there will be no oranges or other produce. Or eggs, definitely not eggs.
I head for my locker and so far everything seems…okay. Sure, people are staring. And there are two girls standing at the water fountain shooting quick glances at me and whispering. But nobody seems to want to throttle me. They seem more…curious. I continue on, trying to keep my head held high. I can feel eyes on me from every direction. Well, I certainly succeeded in getting attention anyway.
“Hi, Livvie,” Tony Hernandez says in passing and gives me a warm smile.
“Hi, Tony.” Okay. So he doesn’t hate me. Of course, I guess there’s a chance he hasn’t seen the site yet and doesn’t know I’m the Tattler. He might want to take that smile back later.
I round the corner, and Chas is standing at my locker. I gasp.
“Chas,” I say with a whoosh of air when I reach him. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi.”
“Can we talk for a minute?”
I nod.
“I saw your post, Livvie,” he says.
I look down, avoiding his gaze. He takes my hand in his, and I scan his face, surprised.
“That was brave of you to admit all that,” he says. “I mean, you didn’t have to. But it was cool that you did.”
“I’m really sorry, Chas. For everything. For lying to you, for hurting people, for—”
“I know,” he interrupts.
“So you don’t hate me?”
“Why would I hate you?”
“To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure if you really even liked me,” I say quietly.
“What?” He gives me a puzzled look. “What would make you think that?”
I sigh. “In the back of my mind I always kinda thought that maybe you liked Talia, and that’s why you didn’t want to use the pictures. To protect her.”
“Livvie,” Chas says, taking my other hand in his and turning me toward him, “you had me from the moment we met when you quoted Popeye. My mom always said if a girl ever quotes Popeye to you, never let her go.”
“She did not,” I say in disbelief.
“No, you’re right, she didn’t,” he says. “Would have been funny if she had though, right?”
“Totally,” I say, half smiling. How did he remember me quoting Popeye? He actually likes me? I don’t say anything for a few moments, trying to digest everything.
“So,” Chas finally says, giving my hand a little tug.
“So,” I repeat, tugging back.
“Are we okay? Can we move past this project now and just, like, date? You know, without pictures and reports and such?”
“You still want to go out with me?”
“Yes,” Chas says. “And you need me. Now that you’ve told the whole school that you’re behind the blog, you’ll need a bodyguard. I’d like my girlfriend to remain in one piece, and we don’t know how the rest of the student body is going to react to your news.”
He’s saying other stuff, I think. Because his lips are moving, and he’s got a goofy smile, and his eyes are doing that cute, twinkly thing they do. But I can’t tell you what he’s saying. My brain hit pause as soon as he said girlfriend. Chas Montgomery says I’m his girlfriend.
I tilt my chin up and kiss him.
About the Author
Kristina Springer is author of the young adult novel, THE ESPRESSOLOGIST (FSG, October 2009), which has been published in seven countries, was acquired for film, and was a 2010 Society of School Librarians International Honor Book, the middle-grade novel, MY FAKE BOYFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOURS (FSG, August 2010), which was a Scholastic Book Club Bestseller and a 2012 YALSA QUICK PICK, and the young adult novel, JUST YOUR AVERAGE PRINCESS, which is a Fall favorite (FSG, October 2011). She has a Masters in Writing from DePaul University and she resides in a suburb of Chicago with her husband and children.
Connect with her online:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TinaSpringer
Facebook: http://facebook.com/KristinaSpringer
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sp; Website: http://www.KristinaSpringer.com
Blog: http://KristinaSpringer.blogspot.com
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
The Paparazzi Project Page 15
