Katie heard her mother walk around the kitchen of her Highland Park house.
“He’s more than a bait-and-tackle man.” Katie knew there was a large dose of sarcasm tingeing her voice, but she needed her mother to pay attention.
“Honey, that’s wonderful. All Daddy and I ever wanted for you was to be happy and healthy. So why the tears?”
Katie started from the beginning, where a pink envelope changed her life. When she got to the part about having Brandy’s fiancé and her heart, her mother cried with her.
“I want to kill that woman and hug her at the same time.” She pulled in a shaky breath. “She gave you life and stress in the same gift.”
Katie could picture her mother dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex so she didn’t mar the makeup that took an hour to put on.
“Mama, she gave me everything. A second chance at life. A way to live independently so I wouldn’t have to remain childlike in your eyes. She gave me purpose and friends and the greatest man on Earth, but what happens when I tell him? What if he can’t stand to look at me because it’s just too weird?”
“He told you nothing could change his feelings for you. Give him a chance to prove it.”
“I’m so scared.”
Her mother let out a long sigh. “You’ve been scared before and survived. You’ve faced more in life than anyone I know. This is small stuff compared to dying.”
That was the magic of mothers. They put things into perspective. Sophia Middleton taught Katie to look at life from a glass-half-full attitude. Unless that glass had fine champagne in it, then Sophia said it was better to look at it half empty and get in line to have it filled back up.
“What if he leaves me?”
“Then he never truly loved you.”
“What if he only loves me because her heart is in me?”
Her mother rarely made unladylike noises. They weren’t flattering, but she let out a growl that could scare a badger. “Honey, he said he loved you. He doesn’t know that heart, only what’s in it. It’s your lifeblood that keeps it pumping. The minute that heart took residence in your chest, there was an agreement made. It would provide you with life, but not without your life-giving blood. Her part in your existence is no stronger than yours. You and she are partners for life.”
Mom was right. Brandy’s heart wouldn’t beat without Katie’s blood, and Katie’s blood could not circulate without her heart. “I love you, Mama.”
“You want me to come out there? I’m happy to hop on the plane today.” Her voice was hopeful.
Katie teetered on the edge of saying yes, but she said, “No. I have to do this myself. I’ll tell him the truth. You’re right. If he’s as good a man as I think he is, he’ll understand. If not, he wasn’t meant for me.”
“That’s my girl. If things don’t go the way you expect, I’m here, Princess. I can have Daddy’s plane there in a few hours to pick you up.”
Katie told her mom she loved her and hung up. She reflected on their talk. Throughout that conversation, her mother never once commented that Katie had a head injury. She smiled to herself because that meant her mother was learning to trust her to take care of her own health.
The tap of Sage’s shoes coming up the stairs meant food was here. She’d need to be fortified to face Bowie.
“I’m back.” She rushed in the door with her red curls shooting out like flames around her head. “Dalton said to eat it all, he thinks you’re too skinny. He added extras.”
Katie swung her legs from the couch to the floor. “Dalton is a cook. He thinks everyone is too skinny. Skinny people don’t pay his bills.”
Sage plopped onto the center cushion of the couch. She spread out a feast on the coffee table in front of them. “Don’t get mad at me. Dalton said the grilled cheese went great with tomato soup. That the fruit was better with real whipped cream and the whipped cream was lonely without his mother’s famous cherry pie.”
Katie looked at the buffet set before her and knew she’d eat every bite.
“Ran into Bowie and told him I was feeding you. He said he’d be up after he made his supply order.” Sage opened her to-go box, which held a burger and fries. “He’s worried about you. Said he thinks the hit on the head is more serious because you don’t laugh or smile as much.” Sage opened her container of ketchup and drowned an unsuspecting French fry in the cup. “I’ve seen it, too. Do you think we should take you to Copper Creek to get an MRI? Maybe you have a TBI.”
Katie laughed at her use of acronyms. Sage used them all the time, and if Katie hadn’t spent a lifetime in the hospital, she’d never know what her friend was talking about. “I don’t have a traumatic brain injury. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” Katie wondered if she should tell Sage first. It might be a good idea to practice her speech on her best friend.
“You want to talk about it? Is there something wrong between you and Bowie?” Her vivid green eyes showed concern.
“Yes … I mean, no.” Katie dropped her head. “What I mean is, I need to talk, but what I have to say should be said to Bowie first, except I fear that once I say it, he’ll take off and never return.”
Sage pulled her food box into her lap and turned to face Katie. “That boy loves you. You’re the reason he’s still here.”
Katie slowly lifted her chin. “I may be the reason he leaves. I want to tell you because I need your ‘Sage’ advice, but you have to promise not to say a word until I talk to Bowie.”
Sage chewed on a fry. “When are you going to tell him whatever this is?”
“Soon.”
Sage set her food on the table and reached for Katie’s hands. “I don’t like to keep secrets, but I want to be here for you.”
Katie took in three cleansing breaths. She stood up and pulled her sweatshirt to her neck. “I have this scar.” Katie had hoped that with Sage’s nursing background, she wouldn’t have to say any more, that Sage would put the pieces together, but she sat in silence while Katie dropped her shirt into place and took her seat.
“Wow, that’s a doozy. Heart? Lungs? Car accident?”
“Heart. A childhood illness that weakened my heart.”
Sage smiled. “And look at you now.”
“Remember how we sat in the bakery and tried to figure out Bea’s connection to me? How she said I had a good heart?”
Katie knew the second Sage figured it out.
“Oh, shit.” Her hand came to her mouth. “You couldn’t figure it out then?”
Her mouth went Sahara desert dry. “No. I thought it was because I volunteered at the children's hospital. I knew I didn’t have Bea’s heart. I had no idea Bea had a daughter. Then when I found out about Brandy, everyone kept using a decade as the timeline for her death.” She pounded against her chest. “I got this heart eight years ago.” Katie pulled her hands to her face. “Eight years isn’t a decade. It’s eight damn years.”
“Oh, shit,” Sage repeated. “When did you find out?”
“When you gave me the flowers and told me to go get my man from the cemetery.”
“Oh, shit. This is my fault.”
Katie shook her head. “No. No, it’s not. Whether or not I took the flowers doesn’t change the fact that I have Brandy’s heart in my chest. I found Bowie at the gravesite that day. I walked up to him. He had changed. He’d let her go so he could be with me. I was so happy.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Stop ‘oh, shitting’ me. I had the flowers, and he walked me to the grave so I could pay tribute to Bea. I saw the date. Brandy died three days after Cannon and Bowie’s mother because Bea kept her on life support until they found matches for her donated organs. She told no one she’d donated them. When I saw the date was the same day I got my heart, I fainted.”
“Oh … honey.” Sage leaned in and pulled Katie in for a hug. When she leaned back, she smiled. “It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“Or the creepiest.” Katie pulled free. “What the heck will he do when h
e finds out he’s dating the girl who has his first love’s heart? I even had a silly string of thoughts wondering if her heart recognized him, and that’s why I fell in love with him.”
“You love him on your own. Brandy’s heart has nothing to do with it.” She said the words, but there was a moment when Sage looked unsure. “I don’t know what he’ll do. I don’t know what I’d do.”
“You’re no help. Right now I need your ‘Sage’ advice.” She sat there and looked at her friend, hoping she’d be able to offer wise counsel in a difficult situation.
“You have to tell him. Bowie has a right to know.”
The already open door swung wider to accommodate his body. “Tell me what?” Bowie stood in front of Katie, looking for answers.
Chapter Twenty
Katie’s face turned white when he walked through the door. He could tell she tried to hide her distress with a smile. A fake smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Something was wrong. First instincts told him to run toward her.
“What’s wrong?” He rushed to her, cupped her face, and looked into her eyes. The once bright blue had dulled to a stormy gray. “Is it your head?” He dropped to his knees, forcing the coffee table back to accommodate his size. He fluffed the pillow beside her. “Lie down and let me take care of you.”
Bowie had all but forgotten about Sage’s presence until she stood up from the couch. “That’s my cue to leave.” She gathered her meal and her bag and was gone before he or Katie said goodbye. He’d never seen Sage move so swiftly. It was like she was escaping.
Katie lifted her hand to his cheek. She always rubbed his scruff. Although she couldn’t care less about his scar, the beard she loved had grown to cover it. “I’m fine.” Her hand fell to the soft fabric of the couch. Katie turned her body so her back leaned against the armrest and pulled her legs close to her chest, securing everything in place with clasped hands.
“You’re not fine. You’re as pale as an egg white.” He shuffled sideways and sat on the cushion Sage had vacated. “What’s hurting you?”
She pulled her upper lip between her teeth. This was always her thinking pose. Not when she was debating between simple stuff like beef or chicken, but the look she got when her mind raced.
“Slow it down, sweetheart, before you chew a hole in that lip of yours.” He reached over and thumbed her upper lip loose. “I have a fondness for your kisses. They would be less appealing if you only had one lip.”
“So you’re saying if I lost something you thought important, you’d love me less?”
He sat back. “Why do I feel like this is a trick question?”
“It’s not. I’m gauging your perspective on what’s important. You seem to like my lips.”
He leaned forward and inhaled her scent, pressing his lips gently against hers. “I like all of you, but these lips …”
He closed his eyes and remembered the night she was on her knees before him. Her lips wrapped around him. The smell of her strawberry shampoo floated through the air and hugged him.
They hadn’t been intimate since her accident. He missed the connection they shared. Despite spending nearly every minute with her since she fainted, he felt a divide between them. It was silly because they were so much more than sex, but somehow when their bodies weren’t interconnected, it felt like their hearts were miles apart.
“You need to eat.” He picked up her sandwich and offered it to her.
“I can’t eat any more.” Shaking hands pushed it away.
He looked down at the grilled cheese that was missing a single bite. “You have to eat more than this.” Her lack of sustenance could cause her shaking hands, but his mind went back to the conversation he’d walked in on.
You have to tell him, Sage had said.
She hugged her tummy and rocked back and forth. “We need to talk.”
The twist in his stomach caused physical pain from his gut to his heart. Those four words were never good. His mind raced for an explanation.
“Tell me what’s wrong. What have I done?”
Her eyes grew wide. “You? Nothing. You’re perfect. It’s me.”
“I’m far from perfect, so what the hell have I done?” The heat of anxiety made Bowie’s neck feel like it was on fire. “Nothing good ever starts with ‘We have to talk’ or ends with ‘It’s me.’” He knew the flame of his fear rose from his neck to color his face.
Is she breaking up with me?
He’d just let go of his past, took a leap forward, and chose the woman he wanted to spend his future with. He was confused.
“Are we breaking up?”
“I don’t want to break up with you. I love you, Bowie, but after what I have to tell you, you may not want my love.”
There wasn’t one thing he could think of that would change his feelings for Katie. “You can’t say anything that will make me love you less.”
She laughed. Not the kind of laugh that happened when a person heard something funny, but the crazy cackle of someone a breath away from losing their mind. He closed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. She folded her body against his and sobbed into his shirt. The last time he’d heard someone cry that hard was when Bea came to the hospital and found out Brandy was brain dead.
Though Bowie needed to know what Katie had to tell him, something gut-deep told him once she did, everything would change.
“I’m scared of losing you, Bowie.”
“Not possible.”
She pulled away but stayed seated in his lap. “What if you found out something that changes nothing, yet changes everything?”
He tightened his hold on her. His heart raced, and he wondered if she could hear how fast it beat against his ribs.
“I’ve never been good at puzzles. What are you trying to tell me?”
“Remember the chocolate chip muffins I made, and you said they would be better if I added orange essence?”
“I love the orange essence. It makes them special. Like that added ingredient is the secret to their magnificence.”
Though he tried to hold her in his lap, she pushed away and sat beside him. “What I have to tell you may make you think differently about me.”
“Jesus, what is it? You have a police record? A handful of kids hidden in the attic? Just tell me.”
She pulled in a deep breath and let it out between O-shaped lips. “What if I told you I was a plain chocolate muffin years ago?”
“Not possible. You’ve got something special. There’s nothing ordinary or plain about you. Not now, and probably not then.”
“Remember when I said I got sick?” Her hand went to her chest. “It was a rough decade. I spent a ton of time in the hospital. In fact, I was nearing the end of my life, and something happened. I was offered something special, kind of like orange extract, but better.”
The constant furrow between his brows made his eyeballs ache. “I’ve never asked about that scar because I don’t care how you got it. Are you telling me you’re not healthy? You’re sick again?” He couldn’t take losing another woman he loved.
“No,” she whispered. “I’m not sick.”
This had dragged out long enough. “Just tell me whatever it is you think will change my heart. I promise you can’t tell me anything that would change my mind about you.”
“That’s a promise you can’t make.” She threaded her shaking fingers through her hair and tugged. Her palms covered her face before they fell to her lap. “On April twenty-third, eight years ago, you lost something. I gained something.” Her breath quickened. “You lost the love of your life. Because she died, I lived.” She placed her hand pledge of allegiance style over her chest. “I have her heart.”
Bowie sat stone still. “What?”
“I’m telling you the orange essence in me is Brandy’s heart. Sitting in my chest is a piece of the woman you loved and lost.”
The world faded to gray before it came back in full color to tilt him sideways. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but
nothing came out until his brain could process the enormity of her confession. “You knew and said nothing.” He stood abruptly, hitting the coffee table sending food in all directions. “You knew how broken I was.” His throat hurt from the raw emotion. “How could you not say something before now?”
A flood of tears ran down her cheeks. “I didn’t know. Not until I brought the flowers to Bea’s grave.” She fisted her already swollen eyes. “I saw the date, and everything made sense. The bakery, her list, it all came together.”
Bowie backed away from her until he ran out of room and hit the wall. “That was days ago. Why didn’t you tell me then?”
She fell into the pillow and curled into a ball. “I ... I tried, but you said to not dwell on the things that can’t be changed. I can’t change whose donor heart I received. Nothing’s changed.”
“Everything’s changed.” He looked around the apartment and back to the woman he’d fallen in love with. Why wouldn’t he still love her? She had the best part of Brandy. “I have to go. I have to think.”
Katie rushed from the couch to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You said you’d love me always.”
Bowie saw the hurt in her eyes. His heart ached for her, and for himself. “You prayed I’d love you anyway. You said that because you knew.” He pulled free of her hold. “I love you, Katie. I still do, but I need time and space to figure it all out.”
She nodded her head and inhaled a shaky breath. “I know ... too weird, huh?”
He stared at her, his eyes landing on her chest. “It’s creepy.” Would he see her as herself, or would he see her as the love he lost? He had to question his feelings for her. Did he fall so hard and fast because he’d already been intimately involved with her heart? Just when he thought he’d moved forward, he was catapulted back to hell. “Give me some time to process.”
She stepped back and lowered her head in what could only be described as defeat. “Time would be wise for both of us.”
He raced down the staircase and went straight to the bar, where he knew there would be plenty of alcohol and advice.
One Hundred Heartbeats Page 14
