One Hundred Heartbeats

by Kelly Collins

  “It’s the orange.”

  “I used to think so, too, but I was wrong. It’s more about the surprise. Even without the orange, it would be an excellent muffin. I’d still love it.”

  He looked at her with as much love as he could convey without touching her. “You would?”

  “Yes.” He played with the notes on the table and picked one up.

  I wish we had a park.

  He put it back face up so the wish was seen. “We used to have a park.”

  “You want to talk about parks?”

  He leaned in and cupped her cheeks. “No, I want to talk about wishes. You want to know mine?”

  She handed him a sticky note and a pen. “There’s a system here. Follow the rules.”

  “Never a fan of rules, but for you …” He jotted down his wish and thumbtacked it to the wall. While there, he removed hers and opened it.

  “Hey, that’s mine.”

  “I know, and if I can’t grant it, no one can.” He opened it and smiled. “Really?”

  “What?”

  He flattened the note and read it. I need Bowie to love me.

  “Duchess, I do. I love you.” He scooted his chair closer and pointed to her chest. “Can I listen?”

  His request was odd, but she understood the need. She’d want to hear it, too. It once beat in another chest for him. “Sure.” She tilted her head back, giving him room to place his ear to her breastbone.

  He pressed his ear to her chest and listened. “Nope. It’s not the same.” He leaned back and smiled. “This heart is yours and yours alone.”

  “You believe those words?”

  Bowie dropped to his knees, leaned forward, and lowered his head. “After the other night, I know it’s hard to believe me. I spent the entire night thinking about a life without you. The you I knew before two days ago, which is the same woman you are today. I’m so sorry, Katie. It was a shock.”

  “For both of us, but I have to know each time you look at me, you won’t see a piece of her.”

  He lifted his head so they were face to face. “When I look at you, all I see is love. I see how much I love you and how much you love me.”

  “We need to talk.”

  He hated those words. “I don’t want to talk. I want to kiss you and make love to you. Are you sure you want to talk?”

  “We have to talk. You need to know things about me before you decide if you want to be with me.” She wrung her hands together. “I owed you an explanation for my scar. My selfish act of withholding did not give you enough data to decide about a relationship with me.”

  “I don’t need data to know I love you. All I need to know is that you love me in return.” He sat up in the chair and leaned back prepared to sit for hours if that was what she needed.

  With outstretched arms, she took hold of his hands. “There are so many factors that can affect our relationship. I got so caught up in the excitement of it all, I forgot to see the reality.”

  “Are you sick?”

  Her grip grew tighter, as if she feared he’d run away, but he wasn’t running.

  “No. I’m healthy. I’ve been healthy since the day I got her heart.”

  Bowie looked at the green cotton T-shirt covering Katie’s scar. He forced himself to imagine it was Brandy’s heart in there, but he couldn’t. Doc was right. Having a part of something didn’t make it that thing. “The only reality I see is that we are two people in love.”

  Bowie flipped his hands so they cupped hers.

  “Okay, but you need facts, and I will give them to you.”

  “All right, tell me these facts.” She tried to pull her hands away, but he held on tight. She would never get away from him again.

  “First, I’ve had this heart for eight years. It’s been good. I take my meds every day so my body doesn’t reject the gift. I’ve outlived the average person living with a donor heart.”

  His heart rate sped up. The blood pounded out a drum-like rhythm in his ears. “You said you weren’t sick, now you're telling me you’ll die soon?” He’d read as much as he could find on the Internet over the last two days. Most of it was beyond his comprehension, but he found many cases where donors lived normal, healthy lives for decades. He’d already decided Katie would grow old. He wanted to see her wrinkle and turn gray with him.

  “I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. I feel great.” She looked around the bakery. “Have you ever thought of your legacy?”

  Bowie followed her field of vision. This was Bea’s legacy. The bakery would have been Brandy’s. “No, in all honesty, I never thought I’d make it out of the desert alive. The universe or fate or God had other plans for me.”

  “Thankfully. Ben tells me you have three Purple Hearts and a box of other medals and commendations. He says you’re a hero. That is part of your legacy.” She slipped her hands from his and picked up her water for a drink. “My point in asking is because legacies are stories and heirlooms and assets you pass down to the next generation. Do you want kids?”

  Early on, Bowie had thought about a family. He’d wanted children, but when Brandy died, that dream died with her. “It’s not something I’ve thought about in a long time.”

  “You need to think about it because I can’t have kids.” She shook her head. “That’s not true. I can physically become pregnant, but I shouldn’t.”

  “If you shouldn’t, why not go on the pill? We’ve been using condoms, and although I’ve never had a failure, they aren’t unheard of. In fact, a buddy of mine just had what he calls a “desert baby”. Blames the condom failure on heat and sand.”

  “Makes sense.” Once the water bottle was back on the table, she leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. “Guys think they are so smart to keep condoms in their wallet, but did you know the constant heat from their body breaks down the latex?”

  “Really?”

  Bowie considered the condoms they’d used the first night. They’d been in his wallet for a year, survived the squelching heat of a tour in Afghanistan. Thankfully, Katie’s cycle had come and gone. She had a short one, but she had one.

  “I just told you we could never have kids, and now we’re talking about latex and Afghanistan. Don’t you want children, Bowie?”

  Did he? One thing he knew with absolute certainty was he wanted her, children or no children.

  “We’ll get a dog. I hear they’re less trouble and won’t cost us as much over the long term.”

  Katie rolled her beautiful blue eyes at him. “A dog isn’t a son or daughter. It won’t carry your name.”

  “Bullshit. We’ll name it Bishop.”

  “I’m being serious. I come with limitations. I won’t ever climb Everest. I won’t give you a daughter or a son. I have a compromised immune system. Things can change fast for me.”

  Bowie pulled her into his lap so she straddled him. “I’ve never wanted to climb Everest or any other mountain.” He dipped his head for a quick kiss. “We’ll adopt if having kids is important to you.” Another kiss. “I’ll take care of you.”

  “What if things go terribly wrong one day?”

  “I’ve lived through terribly wrong. I survived. We’ll do everything we can to keep you healthy. I can live without high-risk activities, but I can’t live without you. I love you. Let me show you how much.” He pressed his lips to hers, but this time he didn’t pull back. The bell above the door rang, but he didn’t break the kiss. It was long and lingering. A kiss he wanted to last forever.

  “You kids want to take that upstairs?” Ben said as he rounded the counter.

  “Yes, we do.” Bowie lifted her from the chair.

  “Wait.” Katie reached for his wish. She plucked it from the board and read it. “I wish for a second chance with Katie. She’s my future.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I can grant that one. I can attest that life is better the second time around.”

  Bowie adjusted her in his arms and took off for the back stairs. “Call Cannon and tell him he’s got t
he bait shop today,” he called over his shoulder to his father. “I’m spending the day with my girl.”

  When they got upstairs, Bowie took her straight to bed. “I want to make love to you.”

  She pulled him on top of her. “I want you, too.” Her hands went to the button of his jeans. “Too many clothes.” The husky, soft vibration of her voice ramped up his desire tenfold.

  “Easy to take care of.”

  He toed off his boots and sent his clothes flying in all directions. Once he was naked, he went to work on her. First the shoes came off, then her pants and underwear. Bowie worshipped her long legs inch by beautiful inch until he reached the velvet skin of her inner thighs. Oh, how he wanted to stop and spend the afternoon right there, but he had all day, so he moved North trailing his tongue to the edge of her shirt.

  “This has to go.” With care, he lifted the soft cotton over her head.

  It was the first time he’d seen her scar after knowing the truth. As he took in the silver line that ran the length of her chest, she watched him. He knew she was looking for any sign that would tell her he saw something other than her. In the back of his head, he knew it was Brandy’s heart that beat beneath her breastbone, but all he saw was Katie.

  With a twist, the front snap of her bra unhooked and the perfect globes of her breasts fell into his hands. Worry clouded her eyes. He needed to reassure her that she was the only one in bed with him.

  “I see you, Duchess. Only you.” He lowered his mouth to hers, kissed her, and loved the sigh she released against his lips. It shredded him that they’d been apart for days. Wasted precious minutes where loving her could have replaced her worry. “I never want to be apart again. Not even for a day.”

  Katie stroked his back, tasting his mouth as her hips lifted, searching for his body. He held himself up to keep from crushing her with his weight. He wanted this moment to last forever. A reaffirmation of their love to last a lifetime, but when he released her mouth and looked into her eyes, she saw the fiery heat that erupted between them. She put her palm against his chest.

  “Bowie,” she said, breathless. His name on her lips filled him with hope and such pleasure. His growing length pressed between her legs.

  “We need to protect you, love.” He slid down her body, over the flat expanse of her stomach and down her legs. He reluctantly pulled away. Inside her nightstand was a box of condoms he hoped to deplete tonight.

  Once he was wrapped and ready, he made his way back up her beautiful body. At her center, he parted her legs and buried his face. Her intake of breath, the sweet sound she made, and the taste of her told him he was home. There was no place for him but with Katie, and all he wanted was to bring her pleasure. She moved beneath his mouth. When her breath went from slow to rapid, he left her little knot of pleasure pulsing and made his way up her body.

  Positioned between her legs, he gazed down on perfection. She was scarred. He was scarred. They were made for each other. Although he didn’t want Brandy to be a part of this moment, he couldn’t help saying a silent thank you for her sacrifice and the gift of Katie.

  His mouth captured hers in a soul-searing kiss. He entered her in one deep, slow stroke that caused her to gasp. Her hips rose to meet his with every thrust, and her sighs turned to moans as he moved within her.

  It would be so easy to let the passion take over and find his release, but he was determined that her needs would come before his. He pushed and pulled, causing both to breathe harder and faster. The heat of her drove him out of his mind, but he held on steady while her body sought satisfaction. He wanted more than anything to please her. To replace the pain of the last two days with pleasure. She stilled. Her breath caught as she waited for those shudders of fulfillment to begin. When her sweet voice called out his name, he pressed deep inside her and let the moment of immense pleasure wash over him.

  Her breathing slowed, and her body relaxed. Short puffs of air became sighs. Her kisses pressed soft and sweet against his lips.

  “I love you,” she said.

  He fell to her side, lying face to face with his future. He liked the way it looked.

  “I love you, too.”

  They made love so perfectly, so closely, they felt like two bodies with one heart. He hoped his love for her would be etched into her soul because he knew without a doubt she had burned her love into every cell of his.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Doctors’ appointments were not new to Katie, but this one was interesting. Bowie had asked her to accompany him to Doc Parker’s so he could understand her condition and what his part would be in keeping her healthy.

  It had been two days since he carried her into her apartment. She’d never felt so loved or been loved so completely.

  “I can see why you didn’t tell him.” Doc turned to her and lifted his bushy brows.

  “Right? Weeks ago I was safe to row a boat, but today he doesn’t like me crossing the street by myself.” Katie laid a hand on Bowie’s back. She knew he was coming from a place of concern and love. “This kind of obsessive behavior made me run away from Dallas.”

  Bowie’s head snapped in her direction. “You run away, I will hunt the ends of the Earth to find you.”

  “The only running I’m doing is to you, but you have to calm down. Tell him, Doc. I’m healthy. I can do almost anything a non-transplant person can do.”

  Doc let out a long exhale that warbled with the shake of his head. “To be young and in love.” He dragged the chair from the corner toward the examination table and flopped into it. “Let her live, Bowie. She can do anything she wants.”

  “Okay, but she wants to babysit the Williams’ eight kids tonight.”

  “Seven,” Doc and Katie said in unison.

  “That’s got to be unhealthy.”

  “Crazy, yes, but unhealthy, no. The Williams children aren’t sick. The worse that can happen is they tire Katie out.” Doc looked over at her. “Looks like you’re doing a fine job of that yourself, son.”

  Katie felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Now that she and Bowie had made up, they didn’t pass up a chance to make love. Doc ordered condoms in bulk and gave them a discount.

  “See? I’m good, now stop worrying.”

  Bowie threaded his fingers through hers. “You can’t fault me for wanting to hang on to a good thing. If I’m protective, it’s because I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Have you made an appointment with Dr. Holland?” Doc put the stethoscope in his ears. The feet of the chair scraped against the linoleum floor as he stood. He pressed the cold instrument to her chest and listened. “That’s a sweet sound.” He looked at Bowie. “You want to hear how healthy she is?”

  He’d laid on her chest dozens of times, listening to the drum of life beat out a steady rhythm.

  “Yes. I do.” He turned toward Katie. “If it’s okay with you.”

  She no longer worried about what he would think. He’d proven in short order he loved everything about her, from the way she stole the blankets at night to how she called out his name in passion.

  “It’s fine. You can listen.”

  Doc cleaned the earpieces off with an alcohol wipe and placed them in Bowie’s ears. She knew the second he heard her heart beating. His smile grew broad and bright. “It so fast,” he whispered in awe.

  “One hundred heartbeats a minute, just for you.”

  Doc took his stethoscope away. “I was never one for sickly sweet, but you two are a second away from relationship diabetes. You better grab another box of condoms and go back to bed. You’ll eventually get that out of your system, too.”

  Katie jumped off the exam table. “No time. We’ve got seven little angels to watch over.” She rubbed her hands together like a devious mastermind. “I can’t wait to get my hands on baby Bea.” Katie had long ago come to terms with the fact that she’d never be a mother, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to be one or taking advantage of mothering other people’s children. />
  Doc patted Bowie on the back. “Any more questions, son?”

  “I think I’m set.”

  They walked to the door, and Katie stepped aside to give room to Bowie so he could open the door. She watched the two men exchange glances.

  “You gonna open that door, Duchess? I’d hate to take away your independence.”

  Bowie’s grin bloomed until Katie wound up and punched him in the arm.

  “Bowie Bishop, I’m not trading my independence for your bad manners.”

  Doc howled with laughter. “You’ll learn, son. Might take you fifty years, but you’ll learn.”

  Bowie pulled the door open. “I need a manual just to learn how this independence thing works.”

  Katie fisted his shirt and pulled him behind her. “I’ll write you one.”

  They hopped on Bowie’s Harley and drove to the Williams’ house. Once parked, they stood outside the two-story Victorian on Daisy Lane. Flowerbeds bloomed with hydrangeas in pink, green, and blue. A white picket fence surrounded a yard littered with Little Tyke toys. A pang of regret sliced through Katie that she tried to push away. She’d never have this life, but one look at Bowie and her regret turned to gratefulness. She might never hold their child in her arms, but she’d hold him, and that was enough.

  “You ready for this?” She buzzed with excitement. Louise said the kids would be bathed and fed, and all they needed to do was entertain them until bedtime.

  “I’ve been to war multiple times. I can’t imagine this is worse or different.”

  She wanted to tell him he was being silly, but his description was spot on. With seven kids to watch, there was no doubt there would be battles won and lost over the next three hours.

  Bobbie and Louise met them at the door. Louise looked beautiful tonight dressed in yellow. Little Bea slept in the cradle of her arms.

  By the way Bobbie looked at his wife, Katie knew if they didn’t stay someplace public, Williams baby number eight would be on the way soon.