“Are you OK?” I asked.
“Never better.”
“Why do I think that isn’t true...?”
She paused a moment before she finished her drink. “Because we share no secrets...?”
“What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s Marcus, isn’t it?”
“So what if it is? Listen to me, love—all I need is another drink and ten minutes to fully absorb what’s happened tonight, and then I’ll get over the disappointment the day has offered.”
“In my opinion, you’ve had enough to drink.”
“Then by all means, my darling one, feel free to Google, ‘I don’t give a shit what you think.’”
“Really?” I said. “You don’t?”
“Not entirely true, but true enough at the moment. And by the way, that’s good enough for me.”
I put my arm around her shoulders and held her close to me while others in the room mixed, laughed, and talked.
“I’m sorry that he wasn’t there for you,” I said.
“No sorrier than I am, but it is what it is, isn’t it?”
“I suppose so.”
“Well, it is. Here’s what you should know, Jennifer—men always will be men. I simply was duped into believing in them again. But trust me—after tonight? That trust won’t come so easily next time. If there even is a next time. Because I’m thinking there won’t be—certainly not after him.”
“Were you in love with him?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said wistfully. “Maybe I was. I know that I certainly was close to falling for him. But that’s over now, isn’t it? What you must never forget is that I’m strong, Jennifer. I might have had a few too many martinis tonight, but given my disappointment, I also believe that I’m entitled to have a few too many, if only to console my heartbreak.”
“Your heartbreak?” I said, not knowing the depths of what she was going through.
“Yes, that. I went through it before with Charles, and now I’m feeling the sting of it again with Marcus. I tried to make it work with him—to see him as often as I could—but despite my best efforts, he rarely made time for me. What hurts me most is that if he had found the time, I know that we could have been a force.”
“I’m so sorry, Barbara—I can’t say it enough.”
“And I appreciate that, darling—I do. But it’s all behind me now, isn’t it? I decided to call it off, and when I did, I knew in my gut that I made the right decision for me.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because that man is just like me. He’s all about his work, which is one of the reasons we clicked in the first place. Relationships come second in our lives—well, at least our secondary relationships. I know for a fact that he always will be there for his daughters, just as I always will be there for mine—which includes you. But until I really came to mean something to Marcus, Jennifer, he’d always choose work over me, as he did tonight. Now, look, I might be disappointed this evening, but what you need to know is that I don’t hold Marcus accountable for his absence throughout our courtship. What’s over is over. And by the way, love, after admitting all of that to you, I think I really do need another drink...”
“What you really need is to eat something,” I said to her. “At the very least, you have to have a canapé or three, because you are teetering on the edge of losing your composure right now, Barbara, and I know in my gut that you don’t want to embarrass yourself if you drink too much.”
“Then bring on the canapés,” she said.
I was about to call a waiter over when she said, “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite as lit as I am tonight. And I mean that. I never allow myself to go this far—certainly you know that. Is it just the vodka talking, or is it getting rid of Marcus that’s done me in? I think we both know the answer to that question—it’s him. Or, hell, maybe it’s something else, such as the new spring line, which Vogue recently revealed in its latest issue, and which was such a major disappointment to me, I nearly wept at my desk. At this point, it doesn’t matter. And I do agree with you—I probably should eat something, because after downing that last drink, the room is starting to spin. I need to get myself back on track...”
I called over a waiter, a handsome young man with a silver tray that was filled with canapés. “Have the beef tenderloin,” I said to her. “Have some protein, some fat.”
“Fat?” she said in horror. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”
“I do. And yes—fat.”
“I can’t eat fat in front of these people,” she said. “All of them are looking at me now with drumbeats of concern—including my own daughters, each of whom look horrified at what’s become of their mother tonight.”
“How about if we turn around and pretend that we’re admiring the tree?” I said. “Then you can have as many canapés as you want with no one watching.”
“Fine! If that’s what it will take, I’ll succumb to the fat. But just this once! Give me that beef thingy thing that you were just talking about.”
Startled that she was beginning to slur her words, I plucked one off the tray and gave it to her as she turned to face the tree to eat it. But when she did so, she turned so quickly that she lost her footing and her balance. In what seemed like slow motion to me, Blackwell actually lost it and started to fall straight into the tree.
“Oh dear,” she said as she pitched toward it.
“Oh God,” I said as I looked on in horror.
“I believe that I’m about to go down!” she bellowed as she threw her canapé high into the air and reached out her arms toward the tree. “And this tree is going to be my victim!”
“Not if I can help it!”
I tried, but I couldn’t help the inevitable. When Blackwell’s ankles twisted in on themselves and she crashed into the tree, her martini glass slipped from her hand and smashed to the floor in a shattering of glass as several ornaments followed suit. As she tried to grab hold to several branches in an effort to steady herself, I looked on in horror as the tree shook and trembled, while an embarrassing array of ornaments rained down onto the floor in the unfolding chaos.
“Heyzeus Cristo!” I heard Epifania call out. “Somebody better say the timber now, because that tree about to go over!”
I got hold of Blackwell’s Chanel blazer and tried to grab her, but it was to no avail. I simply wasn’t strong enough to stop the inevitable from happening.
Until Cutter intervened.
“Here,” he said as he wrapped his arm around Blackwell’s waist as the tree shook and several other ornaments smashed on the floor. “I’ve got you.”
“But do you have my daughter?” Blackwell said as she turned to him while I righted the tree as everyone looked on. “That’s what I need to know. Because I worry about her, Cutter. I’ve seen what she’s gone through since you decided to shun her, and I can’t just sit back and say that your behavior hasn’t affected me or anyone else in this room.”
“I love Daniella,” he said.
“Do you?” she asked. “Now isn’t the time for bullshit, Cutter. I need to know if your love for her is real.”
“It is,” he said as they parted. “I got cold feet, and I’m sorry, because now I see that my actions didn’t just affect her. They also affected those who love her. I’m sorry, Barbara. It won’t happen again.”
“Best that it not,” she said as she patted her bob while I placed the palm of my hand firmly against her back. “Now, before I make an even bigger fool of myself, will somebody please get me to a chair? Or to a sofa? Or whatever I might need to sit on so that I’m no longer a danger to this party. My apologies to everyone,” she said with steel in her voice. “Que c’est embarrassant...”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” I said as I led her to a comfortable chair away from the tree. One of the waiters was already sweeping up the mess of broken glass.
“Please,” she said to me.
“I just dove headfirst into a tree in front of all of our friends and family. Tonight couldn’t get any worse.”
“What’s the problem,” I heard Alex say when he returned to the room. “What’s wrong with Barbara?”
“Mother decided to go belly up and fly into the tree,” Daniella said.
“She did not,” Alexa said when she joined her sister. “She just lost her footing, that’s all.”
“Right,” Daniella said. “After having about a million martinis.”
“That’s enough,” Alex said in a warning tone. I looked up as he walked over to us with concern stamped on his face. “Are you OK?” he asked Blackwell.
“Just humiliated to my core, but nothing that I shan’t overcome.”
At that moment, I heard a host of swooning sounds before Helga’s distinct voice rang out into the room.
“Boy need nipple!” she said.
Really, Helga? I thought. You’re announcing this now?
When I turned to her, I saw that Aiden was swaddled in her arms in a blue blanket. I also saw that he was squirming and crying such that no one—not even a trained nanny like Helga—could console him. He needed his mother right now, so I hurried over and took him from her arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I said to Helga.
“I try my best, but boy don’t want bottle. Boy want nipple!”
“Perhaps we could go into the bathroom just off the foyer?” I said. “I can feed him in there.”
“That perfect,” she said. “We go there.”
I apologized to everyone before I left, I saw Lisa mouth the words “I’m so sorry, Jennifer” before I disappeared, and then I left the group with Aiden in my arms.
As I walked down the hallway to the first-floor bathroom with Helga hustling behind me in an effort to keep up, I looked down at my son’s beautiful face and saw that he’d stopped crying and now was just smiling up at me. At the sight of that alone, I nearly burst into tears at the love that I felt for him before I excused myself from Helga, went into the bathroom, and then started to feed Aiden—while the distant rhythms of this peculiar Christmas eve carried on without me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
WHEN I WAS FINISHED feeding Aiden and he was asleep, I left the bathroom and found Helga and Alex waiting outside for me.
“I think we’re good,” I whispered to Helga.
“Boy love his mother,” she said as she took him in her arms. “I try my best, but nothing work. He want you. I sorry, Jennifer.”
“Don’t be, Helga. I’m glad that you came to me,” I said. “Do you think he’ll be alright for the rest of the night?”
“We’ll see. No one knows when it come to child this young.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said. “I’m still learning.”
“You good mother, Jennifer. This just blip. Now go back to party with handsome husband and enjoy friends. I put baby to bed, OK? We good now.”
“Thank you,” I said to her.
“I appreciate your help,” Alex said. “We couldn’t have done this evening without you, Helga.”
“It no problem,” she said. “Now you two go. You have fun.”
When she took the stairs that led up to the second floor, I sank into Alex’s arms, and we just stood there for a moment holding each other before we returned to the party.
“I can’t believe that Blackwell fell into the Christmas tree,” I said.
“Neither can I. What’s going on with her?”
“It’s Marcus,” I said. “She’s more upset than she initially let on, and she got a little tipsy because of it.”
“Is she OK now?”
“I have no idea. I had to feed Aiden.”
“It’s always something, isn’t it?” he said as he kissed me.
“When it comes to us? Pretty much. But I’m worried about her, so we should go to her. Aiden’s fine now. I think he’ll sleep.”
“I love you, Jennifer.”
I looked up and into my husband’s eyes, and knew from the intensity of his gaze that he meant every word of it. “I love you too, Alex—more than you’ll ever know. Every day, I thank God that I found you. That I found my soulmate.”
Wordlessly, he took my hand in his own and as we walked down the hallway to the living room, I felt my heart swell with gratitude. Regardless of tonight’s mishaps, I knew that I was one of the luckiest women in the world. I had my health and my husband, I had given birth to my first child, and I had my closest friends around me. Not even Ava, in her best attempts to destroy everything I held dear to me, had succeeded in doing so.
How did I ever become so fortunate? I wondered. How did I ever arrive at this point in my life...?
When Alex and I returned to our guests, Tank caught my eye and looked expectantly at me. I nodded at him that it was fine to go ahead with whatever he had in mind for Lisa tonight, and then I wondered what in fact that was.
Despite my best efforts to get it out of him, he’d said nothing more than that he wanted it to be a surprise. But just a few days earlier, when Lisa had opened up to Blackwell and me in my hospital room about the state of their relationship—that she was actually thinking of leaving him because he wouldn’t commit to a wedding date—I had to wonder if this surprise would be good, or if it would just be another disappointment for her.
“I have a present for Lisa,” he said to everyone. “It’s something that I’d like to share with her and with our friends as well.”
“You have a present for me?” Lisa said with raised eyebrows. “Here? When did that happen?”
“When I dropped it off yesterday to Jennifer, who knows nothing about its contents,” he said as he knelt beside the tree and removed a slim, beautifully gift-wrapped box from beneath it. “Would you like to open it?”
“Of course I would.”
Tank moved forward and handed it to her.
“It’s so light,” Lisa said as she lifted it in her hands. “Are you sure there’s something in here?”
“There’s something in there,” he said. “Promise.”
“What are you up to?” she said.
“Open it up and find out.”
“OK, so now I’m dying to know what it is,” she said as she started to unwrap the box.
When the gift wrap was gone, Lisa was left with a simple white box. She looked at it and then at Tank for a moment before she removed the lid and was faced with a plethora of red tissue paper, beneath which was a white card.
“What is this?” she asked Tank. “The front of it is blank...”
“Maybe the inside isn’t, so why don’t you open it and see what it says?” he said as he kissed her.
When she opened it, she looked up at him in confusion. “All it says is ‘June 10th,’” she said.
“That’s right. Otherwise known as the day I’d like to marry you.”
At first, she was speechless. In fact all of us—even Epifania—were speechless. And then Lisa just put her hand to her mouth and said, “Oh my God! Are you serious?”
“I’m absolutely serious. We’ve waited too long to make our relationship official. I know that we’ve talked many times about setting a date, but with both of us so busy, I think it’s finally time that we just set the damned date so we can officially become husband and wife. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of waiting.”
“You are?” she said.
“Of course I am. It’s been two years since I asked you to be my wife. It’s time for me to take a break from Wenn, for you to take a break from writing—and for us to make it official.”
Thank you, God! I thought as a groundswell of emotions came over me.
“I’m so happy,” Lisa said as her eyes welled with tears. “I didn’t know if we’d ever get here. In fact, I was starting to get worried that we wouldn’t. And now you’ve gone and done this...”
“I’ve always seen you as a June bride,” he said. “And since June 10th is a Saturday, we can enjoy the entire weekend together—and likely a couple
of weeks after that when we go on our honeymoon.”
“Our honeymoon?” Lisa said. “Where are we going?”
“I know that you’ve always wanted to go Bora Bora—you know, to rent one of those huts that stretch out into the water. The ones you’re always showing me online in not-so-sublte hints. So how about Bora Bora?”
“Totally Bora Bora,” she said.
“And now I’m going to cry,” I said. “Tank, this is the perfect Christmas gift. My girl finally has a date to get married, and to the best man possible.”
“It’s so beyond divoon, I need another word for divoon,” Blackwell said. “Well done, my dear boy. Perfectly executed. And congratulations to you, Lisa. The dark, you see, doesn’t always remain dark. Sometimes, when you least expect it, a sudden ray of light can appear that has the power to make everything light again...”
“What does that mean?” Tank asked.
I knew that Blackwell was referring to Lisa’s concerns about whether she’d ever marry Tank, but still—in pure Blackwell style—she just waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, who knows, Tank?” she said. “Everyone knows that I’m half in the bag, so think nothing of it. I’m likely just running off at the mouth.”
But Lisa and I knew better, and with appreciation and love, we looked at Blackwell. No one could wrap up a moment as profound as this—and with such concise words—better than she.
“So,” Tank said to Lisa. “Will you marry me in June? Can we finally carve out some time for ourselves and nail this down?”
“I’d marry you right now if I could,” she said. “I’ve been waiting so long for this to happen, you can’t even know. This is the greatest Christmas present I ever could have received. I love you, you big lug. I’ll love you to Bora Bora and back, and then even more.”
When she threw her arms around him and gave him one mother of a kiss, I looked on as tears of happiness filled my eyes.
“Why are you crying?” Alex asked me.
“Because they deserve this,” I said. “Because she’s waited so long for this— just to have a date. To have something to look forward to. And because I’m so thrilled for them right now, I could burst. Before long, she’ll be the one giving birth...”
Holiday: Annihilate Them, #2 Page 19
