by Ava Miles
Her mom listened for a moment and then said, “Good. See you soon.”
While they waited for Jordan, her mom helped her change out of a cotton nightgown and into a T-shirt and stretchy pants. The hospital bag they’d packed together weeks ago came out of her closet, and Grace tried not to panic.
Jordan must have broken every speed limit because he arrived ten minutes earlier than she’d expected from his new digs in Midtown. Her hands curved around her belly when she heard him knock on the door. Her mom rose from the bed and went to greet him.
When he arrived in the doorway, he was smiling. She knew a game face when she saw one, and apparently he’d practiced one for her.
“Hey there, Gracie girl. Are you ready to see if our baby plans to come into the world today?”
Grace took her hand off her belly, noticing how his eyes darted to it quickly before looking back at her. She tried to return his smile. “Sure, let’s get this show on the road.”
She moved to sit up on the bed, and Jordan darted forward. “Here, let me help you. You might be a little off center from being in bed so long.”
He reached a supportive arm around her back as she scooted awkwardly from the middle of the bed. Grace didn’t shrink away from his touch, but a shiver went through her. She blamed it on the contractions, but knew it was a lie.
“Maybe it would be easier if I carried you to the car,” Jordan said, frowning at her. “I don’t want you tiring yourself out. You might need to conserve your energy.”
“Okay. Good idea.”
Jordan lifted her easily. “Just like I thought. Even with the baby, you’re still a lightweight.”
“I don’t want the baby to come early,” she whispered to him suddenly, letting the safe feeling of being in his arms wash over her.
He met her eyes, and in them she could see the worry he was trying so hard to hide. “I know, sweetheart.” He pressed his cheek to hers in a gesture of pure comfort. “What did your mom tell you, Gracie?”
She could feel tears well up in her eyes. “She said the baby is far enough along.”
“Has your mom ever been wrong?” he asked, casting a glance at her mom, who was watching them by the door.
Her mouth tipped up slightly. “Not usually.”
“Well, then there’s no reason to worry, is there?” he said matter-of-factly.
She nodded. “Are you scared?”
“A little, for you,” he confessed harshly. “If I could take this from you, I would. You’ve already gone through so much.”
“You would look silly with this watermelon belly,” she teased, trying to bolster them both.
“Oh, but think of all the new clothes I could wear,” he said, teasing her right back.
She burrowed her face in his shoulder, inhaling his musky aftershave. And then she felt another sharp pain in her back and made an anguished sound. Grace gripped his arms as the sensation built.
“Breathe, Grace,” he said in his team voice. “Deep breaths. Like me, okay?”
If the pain hadn’t been stronger this time, she might have teased him for knowing about breathing during labor. More research, no doubt.
Her mom picked up her bag by the door. “We’d better get going,” she said in a calm but firm tone.
Cradling Grace against his chest, Jordan followed Meg out of the apartment. She locked it behind them, then continued on ahead, giving them some space.
“So, what’s it like having your own personal nurse?” Jordan asked.
“Wonderful. An angel in disguise.”
“I’m so glad you had her,” he said, walking briskly through the lobby. “It helped me worry less.”
As they reached the door, Grace felt a rush of panic surge through her. “There’s no press out there, is there?”
He shook his head. “No, Grace. I have new ways of diverting them. I’d never let them close to you and the baby.”
The absolute certainty in his voice calmed her, but when they arrived at the front door, he stopped. “Do you trust me, Grace?”
She nodded, and her mom pushed the door open. The sunlight was harsh on her eyes, and the humidity was oppressive. He led them to a black SUV parked with its hazards on in the fire lane.
“What do you think of my daddy mobile?” he asked.
Grace’s mom opened the back passenger door. “Beats that old minivan I had to drive with you kids.”
Jordan gently lowered her to the back seat, and her mom rearranged the fluffy pillows piled there to help her get comfortable.
“You brought pillows?” Grace asked Jordan.
“This is a full service ride,” he said, handing her a blanket from the front passenger seat.
She gave him a look. “It’s almost a hundred degrees out.”
A shadow crossed his face, and for a minute she could see the helplessness he was fighting. “I thought… Right. Let me turn up the air.”
Jordan stowed her bag while her mom settled beside her in the back.
He drove slowly down the street. “What hospital are we headed to? I forgot to ask.”
Her mom told him to go to Northside. “The hospital has a celebrity entrance we’re supposed to use. Dr. Jessica told me where to go.”
Grace looked over at her. “You didn’t tell me that.”
Her mom shrugged. “You didn’t need to worry about it. I took care of it.”
When they arrived at the hospital complex, her mom gave Jordan directions to the side entrance. The minute he parked and exited the vehicle, two hospital workers rushed out with a wheelchair. Before she knew it, Grace was being wheeled into a private elevator, her mom and Jordan following right behind her. Dr. Saunders was waiting for them when the doors opened on the third floor. She had on chartreuse tennis shoes.
“Hey, Grace,” she said with an intent look. “Meg, it’s nice to see you. And you must be Jordan. It’s good to finally meet you.”
Jordan nodded, resting his hands on Grace’s shoulder. “Yes, thank you for taking such good care of Grace and our baby.”
Our baby, Grace thought, and hearing him say those simple words was enough to put tears in her eyes.
“It’s a pleasure,” Dr. Saunders said. “Well, Grace, you just made it to thirty-three weeks. That’s all we could hope for, given what’s happened. Let’s get y’all settled in so we can see if we’re dealing with the final performance or the opening act. We have a private suite waiting for you.”
As they wheeled her down the halls, Grace could feel herself tightening up. She hated hospitals, and even though they were bringing her to the maternity ward, she was still nervous.
“Grace.” Jordan extended his hand to her. “You got this.”
She nodded and grabbed the comfort he was offering.
When they arrived at the suite, the nurse wheeled her into the room, and they got her into the hospital bed with Jordan’s help. The room was decorated warmly in the same soft yellow as the hallway. High-backed chairs sat like an old couple across from a purple print couch and rocking chair. It was friendlier than the average hotel room, but Grace still couldn’t pretend she wasn’t in a hospital.
“You might want to step out a sec, Jordan,” her mom said, patting his arm. “They’re going to get her into a gown and examine her.”
“There’s a private room off to the right,” Dr. Saunders told him, pointing. “That way you can be close enough to call.”
Jordan’s eyes sought hers one last time before he smiled at her and left.
Her heart clutched, and she had to admit the truth. It hurt to see him go.
Chapter 11
Jordan had mixed feelings leaving Grace. The private birthing coach he’d consulted in case Grace wanted him present at the birth had shown him videos and walked him through the process—either a natural birth or a Caesarean. Either way, Jordan was prepared for both. He would just take his cue from Meg and Grace. They would tell him how much they wanted him around.
The private waiting room was smaller and
decorated with a burgundy printed chair rail. There was a medium-sized television mounted on the wall in front of two high-backed chairs in navy. He sat in one and sorted the magazines on the small coffee table, feeling the need to organize and control something. He noted that over half were about parenthood and babies. Some Jordan had already read. He’d subscribed to a few on the advice of his coach.
At first the magazines and books had read like a foreign language—who would have thought there was so much lingo specific to childcare?—but he’d learned from them. Some of the information felt a little off given how his mother raised him. But he figured that’s what made parenthood individual. Everyone did it differently. It was clearly not a science.
He texted a few of his Once Upon a Dare brothers while he waited. They were all eager to hear the news about Grace. A few of them asked if he wanted them to fly out, but he told them to chill until he knew more. Although he appreciated their support, he could barely focus his attention on texting. All he could think about was what was going on with Grace and their baby. Besides, if they all showed up at the hospital, the media would certainly put together what was going on.
Autocorrect kept messing up his words, so he finally stopped texting and let himself process how it had felt to see Grace today. His heart had stopped. She had looked so scared and yet so beautiful. And her belly. The sheer size of it blew his mind, and when he’d felt her contraction while holding her in his arms…
Shit got real.
Meg came in about fifteen minutes later. He knew because he’d checked his watch at least twenty times. He jumped to his feet, spilling the magazines he’d arranged. The smile on her face might have been perfectly believable if not for the worry knotting her brows.
“Jordan, Dr. Saunders thinks it would be safer to do a Caesarean given everything Grace has gone through. There’s some increased bleeding now that labor’s started. They’re prepping her right now. Dr. Saunders gave permission for me to scrub in and assist.”
He’d felt nauseous watching the scalpel cut across the woman’s belly in the video. How much worse was he going to feel knowing that was happening to Grace? “I’m glad you’re going to be in there with her, Meg.”
She gave him a short smile. “Would you like to join us? Grace said she was okay with it if you are.”
His knees almost buckled. She was trusting him. Grace was finally trusting him. “Yes…that would be…great…just great.”
“Well, let’s get you in there.” She rested her hand on his arm for a moment. “It’ll be fine, Jordan.”
He took one of her hands and squeezed it. “I’m so glad you’re here, Mrs. K. What would we do without you?”
Meg led the way. Some medical assistants helped them both scrub up and don hospital gowns. When they walked back into the main room, he stopped short. There was a white shield across Grace’s chest to prevent her from seeing the procedure. Her engorged belly was bare and brightly lit under the lights.
He swallowed before cautiously angling closer, immediately intimidated despite the video he’d seen. Nothing could have prepared him for this. He was afraid they were going to hurt her, that the scalpel was going to do permanent damage. And there was nothing he could do.
“Welcome to the party, Jordan,” Dr. Saunders said, her dark eyes the only part of her face not hidden by the mask.
His head was buzzing so much he couldn’t form a response. Then Grace turned her head to look at him, and his legs went rubbery. That instant connection between them seemed to fill the room. Her moss-green eyes were scared and frantic.
He rushed forward and grabbed her hand. “I’m here now,” he told her, reaching deep for his strength. “It’s going to be fine, Grace. They’re going to take great care of you and our baby.”
She nodded frantically. “I’m glad you’re here, Jordan.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he told her, his heart rapping against his chest.
The nurses pulled up a chair for him by the head of the bed. Had she feared he would faint? The chair was too small for him, so he sat on the edge. He was tall enough to see over the screen and couldn’t look away as the scalpel flashed under the bright lights. If Grace could endure this, the least he could do was bear witness.
Biting his lip under the mask hard enough to taste blood, he watched as the scalpel found its mark and drew a line across her belly. Blood followed in its wake.
Grace gripped his hand, and he feared she was feeling pain. “Are you okay?”
“There’s some tugging,” she said, her voice charged with emotion.
“It’s okay, Grace,” Meg told her. “Pressure is common even though the epidural numbs from the waist down.”
Suddenly Jordan’s eyes flew back to Grace’s belly. There was a lot of blood, but there was also a little baby being lifted out.
Holy shit.
“It’s a girl,” Dr. Saunders announced, holding up the baby for them to see.
She squalled at the top of her lungs, and Jordan was suddenly glad he was sitting down. His head exploded. A girl.
Grace started crying, and soon he was pressing his cheek against hers, crying too.
“We have a girl, Gracie,” he said, his voice hoarse. “We have a daughter.”
“Oh, God,” she whispered. “A little girl. Oh, Jordan.”
He watched as the nurses took his daughter over to examine her and clean her up. They allowed Meg to help.
“She’s passed the Apgar test,” Meg said, swaddling her in a pink blanket one of the nurses handed her. She picked up the tiny bundle and brought her over to them. Tears were wetting Meg’s mask too.
Grace held out her arms, and her mom settled the baby down on her chest. Filled with wonder, Jordan released Grace’s hand so he could reach out to finger the blanket holding their daughter.
“She’s so beautiful,” Meg said softly. “You couldn’t have done better, you two.”
They huddled together as a unit, eyeing the small face protruding from the swaddling. Her eyes were slightly open and dark blue. She had small, cupid-shaped lips and a good crop of brown hair with a tinge of red. Delicate fingers barely rested outside the blanket, so small and transparent Jordan could barely comprehend it.
“Just look at her,” Grace said, tears running down her cheeks unchecked.
“She’s perfect.” Jordan reached out a shaking hand and gently ran a finger along his daughter’s cheek, amazed at how soft her skin was. “She’s so tiny.”
“She’s tiny because she’s early,” Meg said. “She weighed in at six pounds, two ounces. Not too shabby after everything she’s been through.”
He and Grace didn’t seem to know what to say after that. Both of them stared at their daughter and gently touched her face, their hands uniting in a mission to make sure she was real.
Meg smoothed a hand over Grace’s head. “They need to sew you up now, honey. Then they’ll take you to recovery. I’ll stay with you. The baby needs to go to recovery too, but you’ll get her back soon, I promise.”
“Wait!” Jordan said when he saw the nurse headed their way. “They’re taking her away?” No one had told him that. He felt a spurt of anger.
“Would you like to go with her, Jordan?” Meg asked. “Would that be okay, Dr. Saunders?”
“Sure,” the doctor said. “We need to put her in the NICU to keep her warm. But you can hold her for a few minutes beforehand, I think. Get to know your daughter.”
Grace grabbed his hand. “Go with her, Jordan. I don’t want her to be alone.”
The hoarseness in her voice had him fighting tears. “I won’t leave her alone, Grace.”
She sniffed. “I know we didn’t talk about names because of…stuff, but if it’s all right, I thought we’d call her Ella Allison. For your mom.”
Pain flashed in his heart. “Grace.”
Allison had been his mother’s given name, but she’d gone by Alice most of her life. Jordan felt more tears spill. He quickly knuckled them away. “It�
�s a beautiful name. Mom would have loved it.”
Grace gave him a soft smile, and her green eyes seemed to glow now. He was mesmerized. “I think she knows, Jordan. I feel her here. Don’t you?”
Goosebumps broke out across his skin. “Yeah,” he agreed. He wasn’t a spiritual man, but he’d felt her presence at big games before. And he felt it now. That sense of peace and love that surpassed regular moments in life.
The nurse cleared her throat. “We need to take her to recovery.”
Jordan leaned down to kiss Grace’s cheek. “We’ll see you in a bit. I’ll take care of her, Grace, I promise.”
When she nodded fiercely, he carefully took the baby from her arms.
Ella Allison fit perfectly in the crook of his arms. He’d practiced with a doll at home, wanting to be ready. But she wasn’t a doll. She was his daughter, and the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his life.
“Follow me, please,” the nurse said, and he gave Grace one last look before heading to recovery.
Jordan sank into the rocker the nurse suggested he use. He was still trying to relax his arms, but he couldn’t stop staring at her. She barely moved, but when she did, it was to stretch—like she was expanding into all this new space after being tucked away in her mother’s womb for so long.
“You have that deer-in-headlights look that most first-time fathers have,” Meg said, making him look up.
She walked quietly across the room and placed a hand on his arm.
“It’s…” He struggled to form a sentence.
“Yeah, I know,” Meg said, patting him. “You did a good job in there.”
“Jesus.” He cuddled Ella closer. “I didn’t do anything. Grace did it all. Sorry I cussed. I’m…not myself. I’ve been working on cleaning up my language.”
Meg chuckled. “You came. You stood up. You comforted. That’s all fathers can really do anyway.” She looked down at her granddaughter’s face. “I can already see both of you in Ella’s features. She has the shape of Grace’s eyes and your nose.”
