by Susan Lewis
‘A bit of both. But tell me about your week. How are the exams going?’
‘Yeah, cool. Think I’m doing pretty OK.’
Glancing at his mobile as it beeped with a text, he carried on down the main stairs into the hall before saying, ‘Tell Mum I’ll be right there, will you?’ and disappearing into his study he closed the door behind him.
As he read the message his facial muscles tightened. I sent your wife a text telling her to ask you about Julia. Just thought you should know.
Quickly connecting to the number, he said, ‘Why did you do that? What purpose do you think it’s going to serve?’
‘You know my purpose . . .’
‘And you agreed to let me do it in my time.’
‘That’s the point, Tom, we don’t have the luxury of time.’
His eyes darkened. ‘The conditions you’ve imposed . . . You’re making it damned near impossible . . .’
‘Please don’t be angry with me. I didn’t want it to happen this way,’ and before he could say any more the line went dead.
Chapter Four
LAINEY WAS IN front of the bathroom mirror, cleaning her teeth, when she heard Tom, in the bedroom, stretching luxuriously as he came awake.
Going to the door she stood watching him, early morning sunrays slanting a fence of light between them, lending the spacious room a soft, almost dreamlike feel. As his eyes came to hers she felt a pleasing warmth stirring to life. He’d been fast asleep by the time she’d come up to bed last night, one arm thrown behind his head, the sheet barely covering his hips.
It was how he was now, and as she went to him she could see he was as ready as she was to make his homecoming complete.
It was quite some time before she returned to the bathroom, still slightly dazed by the pleasure of their shared release, while he reached for his phone to check on any messages that had come in overnight.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked, when she stepped out of the shower.
‘What do you think?’ she asked, taking the towel he was offering. ‘Don’t I look it?’
He smiled teasingly and turned to the basins. ‘You were frowning,’ he told her reflection in the mirror.
‘Really?’ She was surprised. ‘I guess I was just thinking.’
Since he didn’t ask what about, she continued to dry herself as he started to shave.
Everything was so normal on the surface, so relaxed and as it usually was on a Saturday morning, yet somewhere behind this veil of benign preoccupation she couldn’t help getting the sense of something being awry. Perhaps it wasn’t him. In fact, it was probably her, since she was absorbed by the upcoming trip to Italy, which she’d yet to tell him she’d confirmed, and by what her mother might have been hiding all these years. She was even asking herself again, as she had through Alessandra’s illness, if keeping secrets for so long had been responsible, at least in part, for bringing on the cancer.
How terrified her mother had been when she’d realised the seriousness of her condition. Lainey had been too, though she’d done her best not to show it. Perversely, it had also been a time of joy for her, since Alessandra had turned to her in her hour of need. It was the first time she’d ever felt truly special to her mother, and though they hadn’t exactly grown close during the turbulent years that had followed – or not close enough for Alessandra to answer all the questions Lainey desperately wanted to ask – it had soon become clear that it was only Lainey who could fulfil her mother’s needs. Not that Alessandra ever admitted to that, she had far too much pride to allow anyone to think she couldn’t manage alone. However, as time had gone on and the deadly disease in her womb had spread to other parts of her, she’d become fretful, almost panicked if Lainey was too long away from her side. Whether she ever worried about how difficult it was for Lainey to watch her suffering Lainey had no idea, but what she did know was that there were times when she actually seemed to feel her mother’s pain. It hadn’t only been physical, though heaven knew that had been hard, she’d also felt the anguish and fear that had gripped Alessandra as her inner demons rose up to torment her.
‘It’s not your fault,’ she’d told Lainey one day in a voice that had barely rasped from the clouded depths of her. ‘It was never your fault.’
Lainey had soothed the crinkled skin of her cheeks. ‘What wasn’t?’ she asked gently.
Alessandra’s eyes were haunted, distant, dulled by pain. ‘What happened . . . What they did . . .’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Elenora. Can you forgive me? Please say you forgive me.’
Realising the words were opening small gateways into her past, Lainey held her mother’s hand tightly as she said, ‘Of course I forgive you, but I wish you’d tell me . . .’
‘No, don’t ask. The shame is not for you to bear. Forget them, Elenora. They are nothing to us now. Just take care of Daddy. Promise me, you’ll take care of him.’
‘You know I will.’
Alessandra’s smile had been more of a grimace. ‘I need to sleep now,’ she whispered. ‘Stai con me mentre dormo.’ Later Lainey had learned that this meant, stay with me while I sleep.
Her mother had spoken Italian often during her final days, but because she’d always refused to allow Lainey to learn the language Lainey had been unable to understand anything more than the cries of ‘Nonnina, Nonnina.’ It was hearing her calling for her grandmother at the end that had wrenched the hardest at Lainey’s heart. Who was Alessandra’s grandmother? What had happened to tear them apart? Why had no one from Italy ever come to find their daughter, sister, niece, wife?
Tom’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘You’re still frowning,’ he told her, tapping his razor on the side of the bowl.
Lainey’s expression lightened. ‘Just going through things for this evening,’ she hastily improvised. It wasn’t that he minded talking about her mother, it was simply that she really did need to start focusing on the day ahead. ‘I’m trying to remember who’s supposed to be arriving when, who’s staying the night, which stall to get the flowers from when I go to the market. You can’t imagine how stressful it is being me.’
With a droll raise of an eyebrow, he said, ‘As long as that’s all it is.’ He scraped the blade across his jaw. ‘If there was anything else, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?’ he pressed.
Surprised, she said, ‘Of course I would. And I hope the same goes for you. Actually, that reminds me, have you had some kind of falling out with Grant? It looked pretty intense between you in the garden last night, and he didn’t seem his usual chatty self over dinner. So has something happened I should know about?’
Swilling his razor, he said, ‘He’s trying to get me involved in one of his crazy investment schemes, and I’m not biting.’
Since this wasn’t an unusual occurrence between the brothers, she let the subject drop and might have forgotten all about it had she not found Grant and Cara ready to leave when she went downstairs.
‘What are you doing? What’s happening?’ she demanded, spotting their bags next to the kitchen door. ‘You’re surely not rushing off already? You haven’t even had breakfast.’
‘Cara’s gran’s had a fall,’ Grant explained, coming to hug her. ‘Nothing serious. We just thought we ought to get ourselves over there pronto.’
‘Of course,’ Lainey agreed. ‘Gosh, I hope she’s all right.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be fine,’ Cara said, checking her phone. ‘Lucky we’re close by.’
Wondering if Cara was deliberately avoiding her eyes, Lainey tried to think what to say. Something wasn’t feeling right about this, but how to put it into words without sounding offensive? ‘Aren’t you going to wait and say goodbye to Tom?’ she asked, as Grant picked up the bags and started out to the car.
‘I’ll call him,’ Grant replied, not looking back.
Cara held out her arms. ‘I’m really sorry to miss the farmers’ market,’ she said, hugging her. ‘I was looking forward to it.’
‘There’ll be other times,’ Lainey assured her.
>
Cara smiled. ‘Of course.’ Now she was meeting Lainey’s eyes in a way that felt oddly disturbing. ‘Call me if you need anything, won’t you?’ she said kindly.
Puzzled, Lainey said, ‘Likewise. And don’t forget to let me know how your gran is.’
‘Cara, are you coming?’ Grant called out.
‘Better go,’ she said to Lainey, and with another quick squeeze she hurried off to the car.
Minutes after they’d driven away Tom came into the kitchen wearing a tracksuit and trainers, ready to go to football with Zav. ‘Did I hear someone arriving?’ he asked, taking a pitcher of orange juice from the fridge.
‘Actually, it was Grant and Cara leaving,’ Lainey told him. ‘Apparently her grandmother’s had a fall.’
Tom’s hand paused in mid-air, but he said nothing, simply continued to pour.
‘What’s going on?’ Lainey asked. ‘Something’s . . .’
‘Just leave it,’ he murmured. ‘He’ll get over it. Now where’s Zav? Is he up yet?’
Since she didn’t want to get into an argument when Zav and Tierney were likely to descend at any minute, she simply said, ‘I haven’t seen him, but . . .’
‘I’ll go and get him.’
He was only as far as the door before Zav came skidding along the hall straight into him. ‘Hey Dad. Great, you’re up. Are we having pancakes for breakfast? You said last night we could.’
‘Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten,’ Tom promised, ruffling his son’s already ruffled hair. ‘Going to give me a hand?’
‘Sure am. Mum, have we got any eggs, or shall I ride my bike down to the farm shop and get some?’
‘There are plenty in the basket,’ Lainey told him, putting a pan next to the Aga. ‘If you’re going to toss them try not to let them land on your head, OK?’
Zav shouted with laughter. ‘That’s what I did last time,’ he cried delightedly, as if his parents didn’t already know. ‘I’m rubbish at catching them, but Tierney’s worse. How many shall we make, Dad?’
‘About a dozen?’ Tom suggested, starting to break the eggs. ‘That should work out at about two each.’
Zav frowned as he counted on his fingers how many they were making for. ‘I don’t think that’s enough,’ he decided, holding up eight fingers.
‘Uncle Grant and Auntie Cara had to leave early.’ Lainey plonked an orange juice down in front of him. ‘So we’re only six if Max joins us, more for you if he doesn’t.’
‘I can eat six,’ Zav informed her proudly.
‘I know you can,’ she laughed, catching his face in her hands and kissing him roundly.
‘You’re so sloppy,’ he protested, wiping the kiss away. ‘Dad never does that, do you Dad?’
‘He does to me,’ Lainey told him with a twinkle.
‘Wait till you have a girlfriend,’ Tom advised his son.
‘I don’t like girls, they’re stupid. Mum, can I have one of those chocolates? Please, please, please, please.’
‘They’re for after dinner tonight,’ she said firmly, trying to make room for them in the fridge.
‘That’s so mean, I never get to have any of those and they’re lush.’
‘I’ll save you one,’ Lainey promised. ‘Now, I guess as you two have breakfast under way I ought to go and rouse the rest of the house. Have you seen Grandpa this morning?’
‘He was still asleep when I looked in,’ Tom told her.
Glancing outside to check if the estate was back and seeing that it was, she said, ‘I wonder if Max has company . . .’
‘Are you kidding?’ Tom laughed. ‘You must have heard them all turning up in the early hours.’
Surprised that she hadn’t, as she usually slept quite lightly, Lainey said, ‘In that case I think I’ll leave him. We can always rustle up more when they decide to surface.’
Upstairs in her room Tierney was huddled under the covers doing her best not to be hung-over. It wasn’t easy when she’d downed a ton of vodka jelly over at Max’s last night. It was seriously wicked that stuff, nearly as good as the jägerbombs she and Skye had got wasted on the last time they were there. Skye had got totally off her face that night; she’d been in a bit of a state last night too by the time Tierney had staggered back to her room about four o’clock. Unlike Tierney Skye had gone to the concert with Max and his mates, so she’d been drinking all night, and smoking dope. Apparently she’d texted Max about eight o’clock and he’d offered to go and pick her up from school if she could sneak out. Obviously Skye had managed it, she always did, but Max, pig that he was, had refused to come back for Tierney. You’re still not sixteen, he’d responded when she’d sent a text begging to be allowed to go too.
God, she hated him sometimes.
Still, at least he hadn’t thrown her out when she’d snuck over there after they’d all got home, nor had he stopped her tucking into the jelly, mainly because he’d been too into Skye to notice. The others had all been smooching about the place, snogging and doing other stuff it was too embarrassing to watch. Talk about some people needing to get a room. She was the only one who hadn’t had a partner and not only because she was Max’s sister so his mates had to keep their hands off, but because she wasn’t interested in any of them anyway. As far as she was concerned they were just a bunch of mingers who thought they were seriously cool just because they smoked a few joints and got wasted while listening to loud music by bands she couldn’t stand. Max was so weird the way he was into the same sounds as Dad. They even went to concerts together sometimes. No way would anyone ever catch her going to see sad old sacks like Eric Clapton or Jackson Browne or Billy Bragg. Most of her friends had never even heard of them. It was pretty embarrassing that she had.
She wondered if Skye was still over there, sprawled out unconscious on Max’s bed the way Tierney had found her a couple of weeks ago. Skye had been going all the way with boys since she was fourteen. Actually, quite a few of their friends had, or so they said. Tierney was only sure about Skye – and about herself and Maudie in that neither of them had done it yet, but she was definitely going to.
Forcing her eyes open, she looked at the time and groaned. Ten past eight. Maybe she ought to make sure Skye had got back to school in time for her parents to collect her. If they turned up and found she wasn’t there, Bannerleigh Cross was the first place they’d come looking, and since Skye wasn’t officially supposed to be here . . .
Tierney flipped back the covers. No way could she risk being banned from going to Skye’s when the exams were over, and if it came out that Skye was getting it on with Max there was no knowing how her dad might react.
Not bothering with a text she dialled Skye’s number. ‘Where are you?’ she demanded in a whisper when Skye answered. ‘Please tell me you’re not still with Max.’
‘No, one of his mates dropped me back at school about twenty minutes ago, so calm down.’
‘Neither of my rents saw you leaving, did they?’
‘There wasn’t any sign of them so I don’t think so. That was really cool last night, wasn’t it? I just wish you could have come to the concert.’
‘Me too. Bloody Max. I don’t know what you see in him. He’s such a jerk sometimes.’
‘To you, maybe, but he’s just looking out for you, which is kind of cute, if you ask me. Anyway, you didn’t miss much. You were there for the party after, which was the best bit. That jelly is totally awesome, isn’t it?’
‘Totally.’
‘So have you heard from you-know-who this morning?’
Tierney’s insides fluttered and sank as she looked at her computer. ‘Not yet,’ she answered dismally. ‘But it’s still the middle of the night where he is.’
‘Of course, and he’ll definitely get in touch. He’s completely mad about you.’
Tierney brightened a little. ‘Do you think so?’ She thought it was true, but she loved hearing Skye say it.
‘Are you crazy? I’ve only ever seen him with you once, but I don’t reckon he look
ed at anyone else the whole time.’
Thrilling at the mere thought of it, Tierney felt herself spinning with excitement as she remembered that night and how they’d snogged for the first – and only – time. He’d run his hands through her hair, down her back, and over her buttocks, pressing himself to her, letting her know how much he wanted her. She was so desperate for him to do it again, and to go further, that she felt almost faint with the thought of it. ‘What about when Max nearly caught us?’ she gasped breathlessly. ‘Oh my God, I really thought he’d seen us.’
‘He would have if I hadn’t gone running up to him,’ Skye reminded her.
‘You were a brilliant lookout.’
‘That’s me, and I’m cool about being your alibi when you come up to London. Have you cleared it with your rents yet?’
‘No, but I don’t reckon there’ll be a problem.’
‘It’s going to be like just the best sixteenth anyone ever had,’ Skye assured her. ‘You’ll love it, I’m telling you, especially with him being so, you know, experienced and everything. That’s what I love about Max, he really knows what he’s doing . . .’
‘Oh God, bordering on too much information,’ Tierney broke in quickly.
Skye laughed. ‘You wanted all the details before.’
‘Yeah, when it wasn’t my brother. Anyway, I’d better go . . .’ She swung round as her computer beeped. ‘Oh my God, it’s him! He’s only Skyping me,’ she cried. ‘I’ve got to go,’ and abruptly ending the call she rushed to the computer and clicked on.
‘Hey,’ he said sleepily as his handsome face appeared on the screen. He looked like David Beckham with scruffy dark hair, or maybe more like Frankie in the Jonas Brothers. Whatever, he was totally, completely to die for and he was Skyping her. ‘How’s my favourite girl this morning?’ he asked.
Her heart was thudding so hard she barely heard herself saying, ‘I’m cool.’ She wouldn’t tell him about the hangover, she wasn’t even sure she still had one. ‘How about you?’
‘Yeah, I’m good. I can’t sleep, thinking about you. You look gorgeous when you’ve just woken up, by the way.’
