by Susan Lewis
Lainey caught Stacy’s eye. ‘I thought it was supposed to have the opposite effect,’ she countered ironically.
‘What?’ Tierney retorted.
‘Isn’t it about bondage?’
Tierney groaned. ‘Oh God, you’re so not funny,’ she told her, and before Lainey could attempt the last word she bolted up the stairs.
‘It’s almost as much fun being a mother,’ Stacy commented, ‘as beating yourself up on a Friday night.’
Lainey had to laugh, and glanced up as Max came in from outside. ‘Where’s Dad?’ he demanded angrily. ‘He’s not answering his fucking phone and I’ve been trying him all the way home.’
Cringing at the language, Lainey said, ‘I take it your first day went well.’
Max grunted as he looked up. ‘Yeah, great, if you don’t count the tosser sales bloke who ought to stuff his fat fucking head in a microwave and turn it on. So where’s Dad?’
‘Have you tried texting? Tierney’s been in touch with him . . .’
‘When’s he back? He’s supposed to have got us tickets for Billy Bragg tonight and I bet he’s forgotten.’
Suspecting he had, Lainey tried to think up an excuse.
‘He has, hasn’t he?’ Max growled furiously. ‘He’s fucking forgotten, just like he always fucking forgets about me. I’m like a waste of space where he’s concerned . . .’
‘That is not true,’ Lainey interrupted fiercely. ‘He’s got a lot on his mind at the moment . . .’
‘Yeah, like I care,’ and slamming on through the kitchen, he disappeared off to the annexe.
Lainey’s eyes met Stacy’s. ‘And being a stepmother’s even more fun,’ she said drily.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked gently. ‘You don’t seem yourself today.’
‘No, I’m cool,’ Tierney assured him, tilting her head as she smiled. No way was she going to tell him she’d just had a bust-up with her mother, it would seem so juvenile. ‘Are you still flying back tomorrow?’ she asked shyly.
He nodded, and the way his smoky dark eyes gazed from the screen made her heart flip right out. He was totally, mind-blowingly drop-dead; she could hardly speak she was so mad about him, and nervous, and excited. ‘What have you been doing today?’ he asked, sounding as though he really wanted to know.
She tried a nonchalant shrug. ‘Nothing major,’ she replied, not wanting to remind him that she’d been at school.
‘Have you done any reading?’
Her breath caught as she nodded. Just him mentioning it was making her feel as though she was on fire down below. Was he really going to do to her what the characters were doing to one another in the book?
He smiled, and she felt she might faint.
‘Have you thought about what you’re going to wear on Saturday?’ he asked.
Had she thought about anything else? It was keeping her awake at night, taking her attention from whatever exam she was sitting, dominating every conversation she had with Skye. ‘I keep changing my mind,’ she admitted, ‘but I’m going shopping in London with Skye on Friday.’
He appeared interested in that. ‘I’d like to buy you something,’ he told her. ‘Who’s your favourite designer?’
Who was her favourite designer? Was he serious? ‘Um, well, I like D&G, but they’re kind of really expensive . . .’
‘It doesn’t matter. I’ll get you something from D&G. How about shoes? Do you prefer Louboutin, or Jimmy Choo, or Hervé Léger?’
Her mouth almost fell open.
‘Leave it with me,’ he said with a smile. ‘Just text me your sizes and I’ll have a nice surprise waiting for you.’
Wondering how she was going to get through the next few days, she asked, ‘Where shall we meet?’
He gave it some thought. ‘Send me Skye’s address and I’ll pick you up at the end of the road. I can hardly wait to see you.’
Boldly, she whispered, ‘I can’t wait to see you either.’
His eyes narrowed romantically as he said, ‘You’re so beautiful. I keep imagining us together and it’s blowing my mind.’
It was blowing hers too.
‘Do you want to get that?’ he asked, as her mobile started to ring.
She glanced at it quickly. ‘It’s only my friend,’ she told him. ‘I’ll call her back.’
‘I should go now anyway,’ he said. ‘Don’t forget to text me those details. I’ll Skype again before the weekend,’ and with a knowing lift of one eyebrow that just about flipped her mind he broke the connection.
‘Oh my God,’ she cried down the line to Skye moments later. ‘He is so totally, unbelievably to die for. I can’t wait till Saturday. Please tell me it doesn’t hurt. No, don’t go there, it’ll only make me more nervous.’
‘It’ll be awesome,’ Skye assured her. ‘Anyway, I can’t stay. I’m trying to get hold of Max, do you know where he is?’
‘I think I heard him come in a while ago.’ Tierney went to the window to check. ‘Yeah, his car’s there, but his music’s on so I don’t expect he can hear the phone. Shall I give him a message?’
‘Yeah, tell him I can get out tonight if he can come and pick me up.’
‘OK. I guess that means you’ll be coming here?’
‘I should think so. I’ll have to be back by eleven, so it’ll depend what time he comes for me.’
‘Right, I’ll go and tell him now.’
A few moments later she was rapping on the annexe door, but since the music was too deafening for anyone to hear she pushed it open and picked her way through the flotsam of Max’s world to lower the volume. ‘Max!’ she yelled. ‘Where are you?’
‘What do you want?’ he growled, coming through from the bedroom wearing only boxers and an open shirt. If he weren’t her brother she might get what all the girls saw in him.
‘Skye’s been trying to ring you,’ she told him. ‘Apparently she can get out tonight . . .’
‘Yeah, I got her messages, but Christie’s managed to find some last-minute tickets for Billy Bragg so I’m not available.’
Tierney shrugged. ‘So, you could at least call Skye back and tell her.’
‘What’s the point? If I don’t ring she’ll know I’m not free,’ and changing the subject as though Skye’s feelings didn’t matter at all, he said, ‘Lainey told me you’ve heard from Dad today. Where is he, do you know?’
Tierney shrugged. ‘I think he’s in London sorting out one of the scripts, and by the way Mum’s been going off at me they’ve obviously had some sort of row . . .’
‘Sorry T, don’t have time for this now,’ he interrupted, glancing at the time. ‘I need to be out of here. Do you have any money?’
‘Sure, but I’m not lending it to you, you never pay me back.’
He looked pained as he threw out his hands. ‘You know I will, as soon as I get paid.’
‘No I don’t, and anyway, I thought Mum gave you fifty quid this morning.’
‘She did, but I’ve got commitments, T, and believe me fifty quid doesn’t go far.’
‘You mean you spent it on weed.’
‘Maybe. So, can you load me with twenty? I swear you’ll get it back . . .’
‘No way,’ she snapped. ‘I need it for when I go shopping on Friday.’
‘I’ll remember this next time you come to me for cash,’ he called after her as she let herself out.
Ignoring him, since she’d never yet asked to borrow anything from him, she wandered on through to the kitchen to find out if her mother was in a better mood yet. She hoped so, because she was starving and she knew if she asked for food when her mother was in a bad temper, she was likely to be told to make it herself.
Finding Stacy at the Aga doing something with a tagine, Tierney glanced around the room saying, ‘Where’s Mum?’
‘She had a bit of a headache,’ Stacy replied, ‘so she’s gone upstairs to lie down. Tea shouldn’t be long now.’
In spite of knowing she ought to offer to help, Tierney said, ‘I’ll be back
in a minute,’ and leaving Stacy to get on with it she ran upstairs to her mother’s room. ‘Mum?’ she called softly as she opened the door, ‘can I come in?’
There was a gentle sigh before Lainey said, ‘If you must.’
Since she was lying on her side with her back turned, Tierney went round to sit where she could see her, and instantly felt worried when she realised her mother had been crying. ‘What is it?’ she asked shakily. ‘What’s Dad done this time? Whatever it was, he wouldn’t have meant it.’
Touched by how she’d leapt to her father’s defence, Lainey reached for her hand and squeezed it. ‘Everything’s fine,’ she told her. ‘There’s nothing for you to worry about.’
Tierney was eyeing her uncertainly.
Lainey smiled. ‘I’m sorry I shouted at you earlier,’ she said. ‘Now tell me how your exam went today. What was it?’
‘French oral. It was OK, I think I got through it.’ Actually, she wasn’t sure she’d done at all well, she’d been so busy thinking about him, but she was hardly going to tell her mother that. She was thinking about him now, and wishing she could go back to her room to Skype him again. ‘Can I lie down with you?’ she asked.
Lifting an arm so she could snuggle up to her, Lainey closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh, lemony scent of her daughter’s hair.
‘Tell me about when you and Dad first met,’ Tierney said, hoping it would remind her mother of how much she loved him.
‘Oh, Tierney, not now,’ Lainey murmured.
Flattened, Tierney allowed a few moments to pass. What she was dying to ask was whether her parents had had sex on their first date, but she wasn’t sure that would go down very well right now. Instead, she said, ‘I know you and Dad slept together before you got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here – or I might, but you know what I mean . . .’
‘Tierney . . .’
‘I was just wondering, how long did you know him before you actually did it?’
There was a pause before Lainey said, ‘As a matter of fact, it happened quite soon after we met, but if you’re . . .’
‘So he still respected you after? I mean, he wanted to see you again, obviously . . .’
‘Tierney, are you trying to tell me something?’
‘No! Like what?’
‘Like you’ve met someone and you’re . . .’
‘No way have I met anyone, there’s no one around here to meet. I’m just asking, that’s all.’
‘Who is it?’ Lainey asked.
‘I’ve just told you, there’s no one.’
‘If there is, you know you can bring him home. Dad and I would like to meet him.’
Shuddering to think how that scene would play out, Tierney replied, ‘I think we should change the subject now, because you’re totally getting the wrong end of the stick.’
‘OK,’ Lainey agreed.
After a while, Tierney said, ‘You sound really tired.’
‘I am.’
‘You’re not ill, are you? I mean, apart from the headache.’
‘No, I’m not ill.’
A few more minutes ticked by.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind about me going to London for my birthday?’
‘You know I mind, but if it’s what you want . . .’
‘It is, more than anything, and that’s not being disrespectful to you and Dad. You’ve always given me great birthdays, but I’m not a kid any more. I need to do my own thing.’
‘I understand that. I’ll miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you too, but I’ll be back on Monday or Tuesday. I know, how about we have a belated celebration at the pub we went to for Stacy’s birthday last month? You and Dad really liked it there.’
‘That sounds a good idea.’
Tierney waited to see if her mother would speak unprompted, but she didn’t. So she began running through other topics they could discuss. Perhaps not the upcoming trip to Italy, it would only lead to a row, given that she had no intention of going, though she had to admit she was quite curious to know what Granny had been hiding all these years. Probably nothing more than the fact that she’d given birth out of wedlock, and hello, what was the big deal about that? OK, it probably meant more in a Catholic country, especially back when Granny was young, but even so, it was hardly a scandal now.
‘Mum?’
‘Yes?’
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’
‘I just have a headache.’
‘So you wish I’d go away?’
‘No, it’s nice lying here like this. We don’t do it often enough these days.’
Tierney linked her fingers through her mother’s and tried not to think about how hungry she was.
‘Oh no,’ Lainey smiled, as Zav came skidding along the landing and crashed into the door with a resounding thud. ‘Mum! I’m outside. Can I come in?’ he shouted.
Laughing, Tierney shouted, ‘Where are you?’
‘Outside!’ he repeated indignantly. ‘Where are you?’
‘In here.’
With that the door flew open, and seeing his mother and sister lying on the bed he took a running leap to dive on to them. Catching him, Lainey pinned him down while Tierney tickled him until he managed to fight his way free and climb on to his mother.
‘Surrender?’ he demanded, punching his hands in the air.
‘Never!’ Lainey cried.
‘Yes you do. I’m the champion, and tea’s ready.’
‘I’ll race you down,’ Tierney challenged.
Springing up from the bed, he was off like a shot with Tierney hard on his heels.
Given the choice, Lainey knew she’d probably stay in bed for the rest of the night, but it wouldn’t be fair on Stacy, and would probably end up worrying the children. So, getting to her feet, she went into the bathroom to splash some water on to her face.
Since sending the message suggesting Kirsten might like her job, there had been a resounding silence. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, though it had never been like him to engage in a row by text.
She wondered what he was doing now, how he was feeling, if he was even thinking about her and the kids.
Reaching for a towel, she started to dab her face, but stopped as her heart turned over. They were due to fly to Italy in less than two weeks, and she felt suddenly afraid that he might decide not to come with them. He knew how much this trip meant to her, and he’d always supported it, but maybe it was no longer a priority for him.
Regarding her flushed cheeks in the mirror, she felt herself stiffening with anger and resolve. Whatever he decided, she’d booked everything now, and no way was she going to cancel.
Chapter Nine
IT WAS THURSDAY morning now, and the only messages Lainey had received from Tom were either work-related, or to ask if she was all right. Her replies had been brief, giving him whatever information he was seeking, while saying nothing about herself; nor did she mention his radio interview on Tuesday.
When she’d tuned in she’d half expected to find he’d withdrawn from it, but he was there – or at least at the end of the phone – and listening to his light-hearted banter had left her boiling with rage and frustration. It wasn’t that she’d wanted him to sound broken, or tormented, or even distracted (actually maybe she had), she just hadn’t been prepared for him to sound his usual witty, erudite self. No one listening would ever have dreamt that he might have been in the process of walking out on his wife and children to be with the nation’s forgotten sweetheart and their teenage daughter. He’d made the presenter and other guests laugh, repeatedly, and had gamely joined in other discussions that weren’t focused on him. She’d wondered if Kirsten and Julia were in the room with him, providing a live audience of two while he spoke down the line. It was what she, Zav and Tierney had often done, Max too if he was around and in the right mood. After the broadcast was over she’d usually sit with him to discuss what had been said and how well it might have gone down.
Being an expert in the field
of interviews, Kirsten had undoubtedly done that for him on Tuesday; very probably she’d done it many times in the past.
It had been a horrible couple of days since, two of the worst Lainey could remember.
‘Are you all right?’ Tierney had asked when she’d come down for breakfast this morning. ‘You look terrible.’
Knowing she did, Lainey had managed an ironic sort of smile as she lopped the top off a boiled egg. As she’d put it in front of Tierney, a row of soldiers lined up around it, she’d wondered what Kirsten Bonner gave Julia for breakfast. No doubt something proper and healthy like fresh fruit and muesli. They had those things too, it was just that neither of her children liked them. Nor did Tom, come to that, only her, but she hadn’t had any this morning; she’d had no appetite.
‘Mum, you’re not getting in a state about me being in London for my birthday, are you?’ Tierney had asked as Lainey had helped carry her bags out to the car. She was taking them to school ready to leave with Skye as soon as the final exam was over.
‘No, no, I’m fine,’ Lainey assured her. ‘I just didn’t sleep too well last night.’
Dumping her stuff in the back of the estate, Tierney turned to gaze frankly into her eyes. ‘You’ve got to make up with Dad,’ she stated. ‘Life is too short to go on like this and whatever he’s done, it can’t be that bad.’
Thank God it didn’t seem to have occurred to Tierney that he might already have left them. She really wouldn’t want her thinking that, especially when it might not be true.
Please God it wasn’t.
She kept wondering how she could doubt it, how she was even managing to contain her anger, though there wasn’t much point to it when he wasn’t here to receive it.
‘Have you packed all your presents?’ she asked Tierney as she went round to the driver’s side.
‘I think so. Zav, you’re in the back, not the front,’ Tierney snapped.
‘I know, I was just getting my iPod,’ he retorted, his small frame weighed down by the enormous bag on his shoulders.
‘You can’t take it to school,’ Lainey told him.
‘Yeah, but I can listen to it in the car, can’t I?’ he cried. ‘It’ll save me listening to you two going on about all your stupid stuff.’
