“I feel so free,” she said. “You know how you felt as a kid?”
“I know the feeling. I think it’s the sensation of being out in nature.”
Pat wrinkled her forehead, pensive for a moment.
“I also think it’s the sensation of having no worries. I mean sure, we don’t know if this show will be picked up, nor do I know if the indie I’ll shoot when I get back will be any good, but I have no concerns. I have clients. I have savings. I am healthy. And I’m no longer worrying about a marriage that isn’t working, or about being stuck with a career I’m unsatisfied with. Since I got these roles, I actually enjoy teaching again. It’s just, it was all I did and then it wasn’t fun anymore after a few years. I needed change.”
I swam around her, dove, and then stuck my head up above the water next to her. She laughed again.
“I know what you mean. After my wife died, I came out here. I think it’d been three months by then. I was sad, but I was no longer worried. I wasn’t scared she’d relapse, or overdose, or stop attending AA meetings, or leave rehab early, or do something stupid when high, especially around our son. She relapsed as soon as she stopped breastfeeding, thinking she was cured and could have a glass of wine. It went straight downhill from there.”
I felt cold just thinking about it. Life with Jen had been amazing when she was clean. She had been amazing. But her illness, that pain she carried inside, she’d never dealt with it. The drugs and alcohol had kept her in a firm grip.
“I’m sorry,” Pat said, suddenly looking concerned.
“It’s alright. I don’t regret choosing Jen as my wife — we made many wonderful memories and we were only together for about three years — before that we were friends. We had so much fun together and she had a beautiful soul. Her creativity inspired me. And her fragility made me want to protect her, but it was impossible.”
“I can’t even begin to understand,” Pat mused. “Bill was unfaithful. Apart from that he was the most loving and doting husband. He wanted his way though. He wanted us to stay in Wood Creek, he wanted me to be there for him, he wanted a certain life that I no longer craved. His wishes controlled me. And I never want that again. I just…I feel free now.”
“As did I,” I said. “After she died, no matter how horrible it sounds, I felt free. The worry was gone. Her pain was gone. The wonderful times were gone too, but I was free to live without constant worry. If she’d had the discipline and the willingness to get cured, things could have panned out differently, but she always stopped getting help when she felt fine. Only that feeling never lasted long, so she relapsed. Now I’m here. I can enjoy myself without having a sensation of worry in the pit of my stomach. So, I’ll race you to that rock over there,” I said with a grin. I really did feel happy. And I didn’t want to spend the rest of the day talking about Jen. It was good to look at it with the perspective I now had, but there was no reason to get caught in the past. I needed to enjoy the now.
***
Three hours later we hiked back, had our lunch at the plateau and drove back to the hotel. Pat had been fine with me on the bike and I was satisfied knowing she could handle the scenes that were going to be shot the following day.
As we arrived at the hotel, a familiar face popped up from one of the lounge chairs — Mandy. Her perfect body looked aglow in the afternoon sun as she sat up, waved and made her way towards me.
“Mandy, you came!” I said. I’d been seeing her for a while, nothing serious. Just a fling. We both knew what we wanted — sex and dinners from time to time. No need to see each other all the time. No need to worry about getting serious.
“Of course, I came. How could I resist an invitation to Maui?” She laughed.
“Mandy, this is Pat, an old friend of mine and the lead in my new TV series. Well, if it gets picked up, that is. Pat, this is Mandy.”
“Hello,” Mandy said, reaching her hand out to Pat, after first giving me a kiss on the lips and a suggestive look.
“Hello,” Pat said, suddenly looking cold. I’d gathered she wasn’t much into people who let sex rule their lives, and Mandy and I were that kind of people and she knew it. Her sunny demeanor was fading fast.
Just then I heard another voice coming from the other side of the pool.
“Jeff, darling, there you are!” A woman dressed in a bright orange bikini that left little to the imagination waved at me. It was Gemma, a woman who I occasionally had sex with when in Maui — I came here for relaxation at least three times a year. She owned the hotel and liked to live life with no attachments apart from said hotel. “I heard you were back!”
Gemma stood up and made her way over. “Introduce me to your friends!”
Pat looked between myself, Mandy and Gemma, an incredulous look forming on her face, as if to say: “I can’t believe you have two women AND are introducing them AND they’re OK with that.”
I sighed. The attraction and connection I’d felt to Pat during the day faded — this was my life. The no strings attached one. And looking at Pat, I could see that she thought exactly the same.
Chapter 7
Pat
One week into filming, I was exhausted. Strolling along the beach in the glorious morning sun, I took a deep breath. It was our day off and after six consecutive days of shooting, often from 6 AM in the morning till 9 PM at night, I was spent. My whole life now centered around the character, but as actors know — half of the time spent on set is getting ready for a scene. Jeff ran a smooth schedule but there was still a lot to set up for every scene.
Jeff… the day we’d spent out on the bike had been like something out of a fairytale. Not that we’d done something that extreme…then again, being forty-five, learning how to bike and riding off with a hot stuntman to a waterfall was kind of extreme! But still, it had felt casual. Relaxed. Simple. And that was just it — I’d felt so free. And then we got back to the hotel and those two women showed up… I frowned just thinking about it. It was disappointing. Seeing that side of his life made me want to puke. It reminded me way too much of Bill — a man who let sex rule him. I knew that maybe it shouldn’t, because to each their own, but it still did. I guess I just wanted to meet a man who thought with his heart and head, for once.
I sighed. At least Jeff was a good producer and friend.
Shaking off my thoughts about Jeff, I focused on the moment. Today I was going to fully enjoy Maui — stretch out on the beach with a book and doze off under an umbrella. Right now, that sounded like a miraculous day. My muscles ached as some scenes required I sit on the bike for ages, or do things, like crawl under a table to hide. Not a problem crawling under a table, but when there were a lot of retakes and you repeated a movement several times, having to act as if you were hiding and hold an uncomfortable position for a long time… Today there would be no exercise, just relaxation.
The morning breeze felt wonderful against my skin. I sighed happily — this was the life. Acting and relaxing on a beach in tropical paradise. Could it possibly get any better than this?
As I strolled along looking for the perfect spot, I saw Jeff, who waved.
“Good morning!” Jeff called.
I saw that he was sitting with a little boy and an older, Mexican looking, woman. I presumed it was his son, Shaun, and maybe his nanny.
“Morning,” I said with a smile.
“Pat, this is my son Shaun and nanny slash housekeeper slash lifesaver Monica. She’s also a very good friend. Shaun and Monica, this is my friend Pat. She’s the lead in my new TV series.”
Monica looked up with a smile and Shaun watched me, curiously. They both greeted me and I them.
“Are you here for the day? Why don’t you join us? I presume you’ve had breakfast, but Monica made them pack us a big picnic basket at the hotel. We’ve got everything from thermoses filled with chilled mocktails — no alcohol today — to sandwiches and fruit salad.”
“Sounds lovely, I’d be happy to,” I said. I’d kind of wanted to get lost in my book fo
r a while, but I could probably do that next to them as well. And I didn’t mind some company. After all, on set you were surrounded by people all the time, but it was intense work. And while I liked the actors and crew, I didn’t really get a chance to connect with them on a deeper level. Jeff was an old friend who knew most of my quirks. I could sit silently next to him without him feeling like he needed to get to know me.
“You wouldn’t mind me reading my book for a little while though, would you?” I asked. “I just need an hour of being lost in someone else’s life.”
Jeff laughed.
“I thought that’s what you did on set all day, every day.”
“True,” I said. “But on set I’m often crawling around with a gun, or you know, busy holding the thoughts of the character. It’s not exactly effortless. Reading a decent romance novel where everything turns out alright in the end, on the other hand, is.”
“Fair enough. We’re going to build a sand castle so long. Come on, Shaun, let’s collect some water in your bucket first — the sand needs to be moist for us to build.”
“OK, Dad,” Shaun said and got up eagerly. “I’m going to build the coolest castle ever.”
“Oh, really, son? I thought I was going to do that.”
“You can help me,” Shaun conceded with a serious look on his face and I couldn’t help but laugh. I also felt a twinge of sadness — I always wanted kids, but Bill kept putting it off. Saying we couldn’t travel as much, he was too busy at work and in the end, I had decided that when life slowed down in our forties, we would adopt. I’d always been keen on the idea of looking after a child with no mother anyway. And I swore to myself that I’d look to adopt within the year but being separated had added an issue. I’d have to adopt as a single mom and I was technically still married as I couldn’t get a divorce for two years. I didn’t know where that left me.
I sighed. Now was not the time to think of that. I was here to enjoy myself. I sat down on the sun bed under the umbrella next to Jeff’s family, as Jeff made his way down to the ocean with Shaun.
Jeff was looking stunning in a pair of bathing shorts — his muscular body shone in the sunshine. I had to force myself not to stare, but I couldn’t help but grin — here I was on a beach enjoying the sight of hot men. And Jeff was particularly hot. Even some of the younger men didn’t have his chiseled physique. Tall, dark and handsome, with a body that would have made Greek Gods jealous. But he was a human, which some of the scars on his body could attest to. One ran along his back and somehow, I found it sexy. He had lived. Taken chances. Followed his heart. Gone on adventures.
I let my eyes wander along the beach, taking in the waves. I smiled happily. Was this the life or what?
Content, I stretched out on my sun bed and started reading my book — it was time to get lost in the world of romance.
***
About an hour later, I felt like I’d relaxed enough to regain my energy. I put my book down and was enjoying watching Shaun and Jeff work on their sandcastle — they’d really done an amazing job with it and now they were creating roads around it, so that Shaun’s toy cars could drive there. Seeing Jeff play with Shaun and have the kind of saintly patience only fathers have, my heart melted. Maybe there was a committed side to Jeff after all? It’s not like I’d ever see him running away from his son…
I shook my head. There was no point harboring that kind of thoughts.
“Come, join us,” Jeff called as he saw me looking at them.
“Sure, I’d love to get my hands dirty,” I replied, with a grin. I’d always loved art and building sandcastles counted as art, didn’t it?
Happily, I joined them in the sand and started my own little project.
“What are you making?” Shaun asked.
“Have a guess!”
“Uhm, it looks like nothing right now.” Shaun said.
I laughed, as did Jeff.
“That’s an honest comment,” I remarked. “OK, I’m making a car park and gas station, so you can park your cars and fill up on gas.”
“Oh, cool,” Shaun said and returned to his latest road construction.
Jeff laughed and looked at me.
“It’s a great age, isn’t it? Everything’s fascinating, the world is just a big wonderful thing to discover, and possibility is everywhere.”
“And then comes adulthood,” I said with a laugh.
“No, first the disappointment of your teenage years, when the girl refuses to go with you to the prom, you lose your virginity in the worst of all possible ways and you realize that you actually have to work for money.”
“Oh, yes, lots of heartache,” I said. “Plus, the fear of not being like everyone else and the fear of being like everyone else all at the same time.”
“Schyss,” Monica chided. “I met the man of my dreams and was swept away by love and desire in my teens. All the way to Los Angeles. And look at me now — a happy woman, still married to the same man and working for this wonderful man here. Don’t put bad American ideas in the head of Shaun, or I’ll take him to Mexico to find true love.”
Jeff and I both laughed at this, though I think Jeff more so than I. The dramatic way in which Monica spoke and the gestures she used to emphasize it all made me believe she was a big fan of Mexican soap operas.
“Hear, hear,” Jeff said in between laughs. “This woman is threatening to kidnap my son.”
“He might be better off, you know,” I said, still laughing. “Less motorbikes and more Mexican fueled love stories.”
“Ah, but he’d miss his father,” Monica said. “Boys need their fathers to become good men. Just don’t put that American teenage crap in his head.”
Shaun himself was completely caught up in driving his cars around the castle and making loud car noises.
“Come, Dad, play with me,” he said.
“OK, son, give me a car. Or better, one of the motorbikes.”
As Jeff started driving one of the motorbikes round the castle on the roads they’d built, chasing Shaun’s car, pretending to be a cop, I couldn’t stop looking at him. His grey streaked black hair was falling loose, curls forming, as he played with his son. His muscles dancing as he moved. He looked like a Greek statue come to life. I didn’t know what it was with men, but they certainly grew more attractive with the years. Maybe it was the fact that Jeff had found himself more — he wasn’t a twenty-something stuntman looking to prove himself. He was a successful businessman raising a son and, by the looks of it, doing a damn good job.
I spent the rest of the day with them — picnicking, swimming, playing, reading… We even had dinner ordered to the beach. It was so relaxing that by the end of it, I felt like a new woman.
As we reached our respective hotel rooms, Monica practically chased Shaun through the doors to get him into the bathroom for a bath. Jeff lingered behind them.
“It’s soon sunset. Go with me for a walk along the beach?” He asked. “Let me just have a shower and change first.”
I hesitated. I wanted to go for a walk, but a sunset walk with a man? It seemed so romantic and I didn’t know if I could handle that. I didn’t want any reminders about relationships right now. It still hurt too much. But why should I miss out on a sunset walk? This was just Jeff, a friend, after all. And I’d told him as much. I wanted to see the sunset.
“Sure. Sounds like the perfect end to a relaxing day.”
“Exactly. Meet you downstairs in about an hour?”
I nodded.
An hour later I was waiting for Jeff in the reception that led straight out to the pool area — there wasn’t even a wall. The evening breeze was calming and the air smelled of tropical flowers and sea salt.
I took a deep breath. This really was paradise.
Suddenly hands covered my eyes.
“Guess who?” Jeff said behind me with a contorted voice.
I laughed.
“Uhm, let’s see: tall, dark and handsome with a penchant for adventure?”
“T
hat’s about right,” Jeff said and let me go with a laugh. “Shall we?” He held out his arm — offering me to link arms in an old-fashioned manner.
Smiling, I took his arm.
“What a gentleman,” I joked.
“But of course, my lady!” He replied with a wink.
And then we walked along the beach as the sun set. We didn’t say much, apart from the odd comment about the scenery. At one point we stopped to watch as whales sprayed water into the air. We didn’t have to say anything — we were simply enjoying paradise together.
As I felt Jeff’s body next to mine, holding my hand on his arm, I couldn’t resist inhaling his aroma and relaxing into him. He was so strong, masculine and…kind. It was hard not to have unsuitable thoughts about him. I’d seen a lot of his body on the beach today. I’d seen the way his muscles rippled as he moved and I could imagine the same muscles in my bed. I wondered what it would feel like to caress him all over? Feel those muscles of steel and the softness of his skin. It made me dizzy just thinking about it…but if all he wanted was a fling…
Back with the Stuntman_A Single Dad Second Chance Romance) Page 5
