by Dylann Crush
“You okay?” I asked, tracing the shell of his ear with my tongue.
His hips thrust into mine, squarely hitting the center of my throbbing ache. “Oh God!”
“Hang on.” His hand reached toward his shorts and he pulled something out of the pocket.
My body stilled. It wouldn’t take much. Even through our underwear, one tiny movement could send me hurtling toward the abyss.
“You sure about this?” Robbie’s eyes searched mine. “I don’t want to do anything you’re going to regret.”
I peppered his cheeks with kisses. “I already regret it. Let’s make it official.” Part of me was joking. The other part of me knew this was crossing a line. I couldn’t stay in Missouri. But I couldn’t fight the attraction to Robbie any more either. I’d let myself have this – one night. Otherwise I’d always wonder if what we’d had between us once upon a time was still real. Maybe this would get him out of my system.
“Cass, I don’t want it to be like that. If you’re not sure, we don’t have to do anything.” He attempted to flip me over, but I clenched my thighs against him and slowly slid up and down, caressing the front of his briefs with my pelvis.
He closed his eyes and groaned. “You’ve gotta stop that.”
“Or what?” I put my palms on the floor on either side of his head and let my hips slowly brush over his erection and back down again.
“I’m warning you. Cut that out. I can’t take it.”
I licked my lips. Nice to see he was as turned on and struggling for control as much as me. I leaned back and sat up, squeezing his hips between my thighs. My fingers skimmed his navel and teased under the waistband of his boxer briefs. He didn’t move, just watched me slide them past his hips and down his legs.
Unencumbered by underwear, all-grown up Robbie’s penis thrust into the air. I ran my palm along his length. He bucked into my hand then hissed and flipped me onto my back. Hovering over me, he yanked my panties halfway down my legs.
“No turning back now.” He ripped the packet open with his teeth.
“Let me.” I took the condom from him and rolled it into place. A sense of giddiness fizzed up inside my chest, like bubbles rising to the top of a glass of champagne. It felt like a dream. A dream I’d been having for nine long years. Could this really be happening?
Robbie bit his lip as my hands slid over him. Condom in place, I slapped his ass. “Nine years in the making. Show me your new moves.”
His hips nudged my thighs. Gladly, they parted. Anticipation washed over me. I gripped his arms and adjusted my hips, impatiently waiting, eager to take this next step. His hard-on nudged my inner thigh then moved higher, making contact with the tiny bundle of nerves at my core. My hips thrust up and he slid inside. I couldn’t help myself, I arched my back, putting me in that awkward bridge position I’d never mastered in yoga. He wrapped an arm around my waist, cradling me to him. His hips retreated then drove into me again, and we fell back to the ground.
Something inside me snapped. The feel of him finally, bittersweetly inside me was too much. Overwhelmed by the sensation, my hips struggled to find a rhythm. Robbie rocked back and forth, driving into me with an emotional force I’d never seen or felt before. My arms wrapped around his back, urging him on. We found a rhythm and the throbbing ache I’d been so desperate to relieve slowly morphed into a budding release. Robbie increased the speed, and I struggled to keep the pace. My ass rubbed against the carpet; the sting of a little rug burn was nothing compared to the sensation of having him buried deep inside me.
“Come on, Cassafrass. Don’t let me get there without you.”
I rolled over, taking control, slowing the pace. My knees slid to the side, rubbing on the carpet as my body catapulted toward a release. The build began, slowly at first. Robbie’s hands grasped my hips, firm, cementing us together. I bent toward him, letting our lips touch. My body needed this, needed to be reminded of what it felt like to be wanted by someone. We’d been building toward this all summer. I just hadn’t let myself admit it.
Finally, my body clenched, pausing at the climax. Robbie’s gaze met mine. He smiled, that smug grin I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. A warm tidal wave of emotion washed over me as I collapsed onto his chest. This…this connection…this acknowledgement of everything that had been building between us…this was what I’d been desperate for.
Satisfied I’d reached my release, he let himself go, whispering my name and clutching me tight against him.
“Oh, Cass.” Feathery kisses brushed my temple, my cheeks, my nose. His hands raced up and down my sides. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay now.”
In that moment, caught up in the safe cocoon we’d created, sheltered from the world outside the door of that bedroom, I desperately wanted to believe him.
17
Robbie
I opened my eyes. Cassie’s head rested on the pillow next to mine. Her hair fanned out over an otherwise naked shoulder. The edges of her eyes crinkled as she smiled at me.
“Good morning.”
“Morning. How long have you been up?” I stretched my arm out, sliding it under her head to pull her closer.
“Not long. I wanted to watch you sleep.” She nestled her head against my chest. I ran my hand through her hair, needing proof that she was really here in the bed next to me. I’d dreamed of this moment for so long, I had a hard time believing she was real.
“Was it good?”
She lifted her head. “What, last night? It was amazing.”
I chuckled. “No, watching me sleep.”
Her cheeks pinked as she let her head drop to my chest. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Well you sure have.” I traced a finger down her shoulder to circle her breast. “You’re all grown up, Cass.”
“We both are. Which means we need to be grown-ups about this.” She caught my hand in hers. “I can’t let you break my heart again.”
“Again?” My chest squeezed together, constricting, making it hard to breathe. “Cass, I never meant to hurt you. What are you talking about?”
She pulled back, studying me. “That letter you sent me spring of our freshman year of college.”
I shook my head. The only letter between us was the one she’d left for me. “What letter? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t mess with me. You’re telling me you don’t remember sending me that letter? The one that said something like Dear Cassie, met someone so don’t bother coming back for the summer. I don’t want to see you anymore. That doesn’t ring a bell?”
“No, baby. I never sent you a letter like that.” I propped myself up on an elbow, trying to get a better look at her. She had to be joking, but it was going too far. “Why would I have done that? I never wanted things to end between us.” My voice had risen a few notches, along with a blaze of heat that traveled from my gut into my chest.
“Everything okay in there?” The door to the pass-through bathroom opened. Caroline stood framed in the doorway wearing nothing but a towel. She took in the sight of Cassie and me lying naked in bed together and her eyes narrowed into slits.
I sat up, tossing my legs over the opposite side of the bed with my back to the girls. Shit.
“Robbie?” Caroline shrieked.
I turned my head toward her voice.
A tight-lipped smile stretched across her lips. “What’s going on?”
Cassie pulled a sheet around herself and moved across the room. “Nothing’s going on. Absolutely nothing.”
“I sure wish I believed you. Do you mind giving my boyfriend and me some space?” Steam practically bellowed from her ears.
Ex-boyfriend, I wanted to say. But I figured now was not the time to correct her.
Cassie grabbed a handful of clothes from the top of her bag. “Take all the time you need.” She yanked open the door and stepped out into the hall. The door slammed behind her, causing the wall to shake.
“I need to know ex
actly what’s going on here, Rob. I will NOT let you make a fool out of me.”
I got to my feet. “I’m not trying to make a fool out of you. But I told you, this isn’t going anywhere. We’re through.”
Caroline hobbled toward me. “I don’t know what you mean. When I left in June I thought we had an understanding. And now you go and jump into bed with…with…with her?”
I turned on Caroline. “Whatever was going on between you and me has been dead for a long time.”
“It’s Cassie, isn’t it? It’s always been her.” She raised a hand like she wanted to slap me.
“Stop.” I caught her hands up in one of mine. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
Hate seeped across her face before she composed herself. “You’ll regret this. You’re wasting your time on her, Rob.”
“I’ll send Becca in to help you in the shower.” I moved past her and through the door into the bedroom as her voice followed me.
“My dad will make sure you never get another construction job within a hundred miles.” Her sharp laughter taunted me. “And that field he said you could use for that ridiculous baseball project you wanted to do… forget about it.” Not wanting to hear any more, I pulled the door closed behind me, shutting Caroline out of my life for good.
Hell, Caroline wasn’t part of my future. Not even if her dad had promised to run my business into the ground. Not even if it meant starting over on my goal to honor my brother. It was time to talk to Cassie. Time to get things out in the open and face the past. Time to clear the air and figure out what kind of a future, if any, we might be able to build together.
Cassie
“So what happened?” Misty filled an oversized mug of coffee and passed it to me across the kitchen island.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Part of me wishes I’d never come back.” I stirred some vanilla-flavored creamer into my coffee and watched as it blended in, the dark coffee and light creamer swirling together until I couldn’t tell one from the other. That’s kind of how I felt right now. Like everything I ever thought I wanted was being mixed up so I didn’t even recognize myself. Maybe it was time to start drinking my coffee black.
She leaned on the counter across from me. “And the other part?”
I fiddled with the handle of the mug and took in a giant breath. “I don’t know. I didn’t expect to be spending so much time around him when I came back. I figured I’d run into him once or twice, but working together on the house…” My voice trailed off and I raised my head to meet Misty’s probing gaze.
“You still like him.” Her lips formed a cross between a smile and a smirk.
“She likes who?” Jake strode into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Misty, pulling her back against his chest and nuzzling her neck with his lips.
“Cassie’s finally admitting she still has feelings for Robbie.” Misty clapped her hands together and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I groaned. “That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you didn’t say.” Misty reached for the coffee pot and poured a steaming mug for Jake. “Here you go, baby.”
“Mmm.” He brushed her hair back from her neck before planting a soft kiss behind her ear. “Thanks.”
I felt like an outsider, watching the intimate moment between husband and wife. Would Robbie and I act like that in the mornings if we’d stayed together? As I shook my head to clear the thoughts of what never would be out of my brain, I caught a glimpse of him stomping up the stairs.
“Everything okay down there?” Misty asked.
Robbie didn’t respond, just made a beeline to where I sat on a stool at the kitchen island. He hadn’t put a shirt on yet and my gaze traveled from the determined set of his jaw down past the stubble covering his chin to his broad shoulders and massive chest. He scooped me off the stool and into his arms, cradling me against him.
“Hey, wait. What do you think you’re doing?” I kicked my legs and pushed against him with my palms.
He didn’t break stride, just grabbed his keys off the counter as he passed by. “We’ll be back. Cassie and I are going out for a drive.”
“A drive? You’re crazy. Put me down.”
“Let me get the door for you.” Jake raced ahead and opened the front door.
Robbie turned sideways to pass through.
Jake lifted his hand in a slight wave. “Have fun, y’all.”
Robbie’s bare feet slapped against the rock steps as he shifted me in his arms. “Fifteen minutes, Cass. That’s all I’m asking for.” He wrenched open the door of his truck and dumped me on the seat.
By the time I’d managed to untangle my limbs and crawl across the bucket seats to escape, he’d already turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb.
“Buckle up.” With one hand on the wheel, he reached across and pulled at my seatbelt.
I slapped his hand away. “Just watch the road. I don’t need your help.” The seatbelt clicked into place, and I crossed my arms over my chest and slunk down in the seat. “What the hell is this all about?”
Robbie took in a deep breath and glanced over at me. “It’s over between me and Caroline. Been over for a while now.”
I rolled my eyes and let out a huge sigh. “Is that all? I don’t care about you and Caroline.”
He didn’t say anything for a few long moments, just navigated the truck down a shady tree-lined road. “I can’t…it’s like…” The truck veered off the road where the tree line broke and came to an abrupt stop in a grassy parking lot at a small park. He stared straight ahead, over the hood and his hands slammed against the steering wheel. “Fuck it, Cass. I think I still…maybe…goddammit, I might still love you.”
Crushing silence filled the cramped cab of the truck. A cold, tight band wrapped around my heart and squeezed.
He whispered, “Say something.”
I turned my body toward him. “You want me to say something?”
His gaze met mine. God, he looked like hell. Red streaks shot through the whites of his eyes and the early morning sun reflected off his unshaven cheeks, highlighting shades of red, blonde, brown and even a stray white whisker or two. He shrugged his shoulders, an almost imperceptible movement.
“You think you might still love me? That has to be the lamest, most sorry ass declaration of possible unrequited love I’ve ever heard. What are you trying to do to me, Robbie?” I unbuckled and pushed out the passenger door, my bare feet crushing grass and sweet clover as I barreled toward the sliver of lake peeking through the trees.
His door slammed and the next moment he was beside me, trying to catch my hand up in his. He took single, giant strides to every two of mine and cut me off. His hands grasped my arms, forcing me to stop. I stared at the center of his smooth and entirely touchable chest. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and cling to him like a life raft in a typhoon. But I also wanted to land an upper cut to his scruffy jaw and knock him flat on his gorgeous ass.
“Cassie, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t good timing. But I’ve gotta tell you how I feel. Will you look at me?” He put a finger under my chin, tipping my face up toward his.
I closed my eyes.
“I know we probably don’t stand a chance. But being around you this summer…it’s like old times, Cassafrass. I miss that. I miss you. I miss…us.”
My eyelids cracked open a tiny bit, and I studied him through the filter of my lashes. The sun reflected off the lake behind him, casting him in gold like some divine, muscled, coulda-been-Calvin-Klein-underwear-model angel. His hair curled around his ears; he always seemed to need a haircut. I used to trim it for him in the summers. Run my fingers through those wavy locks while he nestled his head against my chest. My heart skipped a beat while a flush crept up from my collarbone, past my neck and onto my cheeks.
“Why now, Robbie? After all these years? I’ve got a good life now. Parker and I, we’re… we’re building a business together. He’s my future. You’re, well, you’re jus
t my past.”
His hand went around to the back of my neck and cradled my head. “What if I don’t want to stay in the past, Cass? What if I want a chance at the future with you?”
A wave of tingles rolled through my body from my toes to the tip of my head and back again. Words stuck in my throat and I forced them through gritted teeth.
“A future? You expect me to give up my career just as things are starting to take off for me and move back to Swallow Springs?” My hands pulled at his fingers tangled in my hair. “There’s nothing here for me, Rob. I’m finally putting down some roots. I’ve got a chance to own my own place. I’m not going to give that up just because you’re feeling a little nostalgic.”
A breeze blew across the lake and right through the tank top and short knit shorts I’d thrown on after leaving him with Caroline, setting off a chain reaction of goosebumps on my arms and legs. I took a step back, wrapped my arms around my torso and shook my head.
Robbie’s rough, callused hands rubbed up and down my arms in an effort to chase away the chill. “Then let me come with you to Dallas. I can move my business there.”
“And leave your dad?” Twisting my body away from him, I wrenched out of his grasp. “This is ridiculous. We had a chance and it didn’t work out. I’m not interested in giving things another shot. Just let it go.”
“That would be a mistake. I know you. You still have feelings for me, Cassafrass.”
“You don’t get to say things like that. You think you know me? I haven’t seen or heard from you in nine years.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back. Do things different. I know that now. What we had was special. I didn’t try hard enough.”
His words cut through me like a dull blade. “Robbie, you didn’t try at all.”
He moved toward me. I’d almost reached the truck and he herded me up against the door. The sun had baked the metal and it toasted my backside as Robbie pressed in on me.
