by Dylann Crush
“I’m his father,” Judd growled.
“You’re his sperm donor. You made the rules, or don’t you remember?” I tried to shake the memory out of my head. The day I’d gone to Judd to tell him our night in the cave had resulted in a very real consequence. By that time, he and April were back together and he’d wanted nothing to do with me or the threat to his carefully cultivated life.
“Like I said, I’m sorry. I was young, dumb, and couldn’t think beyond getting myself off to college.”
“You knew exactly what you were doing. I’m just mad that I let myself get scared into silence by your threat.”
“Scarlett”—he reached for my hand—“I’m trying here. I made a mistake. A big one. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But for Rodney’s sake, can’t we try to reach some sort of truce?”
“For Rodney’s sake?” I jerked back from him so fast I banged my elbow into the brick wall behind me. Pain radiated up and down my arm. “Don’t you dare try to pretend this has anything to do with him. You want to live through him, use him to reach the dreams you weren’t able to achieve on your own.”
“That’s not true. There are things I can teach him.”
“And what would your wife and kids think about that? Have you ever told April about your oldest son? The one you abandoned and didn’t want to have anything to do with?”
He had the decency to look away. “I’ll need to talk to her first. But what’s done is done. Neither one of us can change the past. But we can change the future. Rodney deserves to know who his father is. He deserves to have a positive male influence in his life. Are you really going to keep that from him?”
“Me? Can you hear yourself? You’re the one who didn’t want to have a thing to do with him. You’re the one who said if I ever told anyone the truth that you’d make me out to be a liar. I could have forced you to tell the truth. But you weren’t willing to be involved, and I didn’t want my son to know that his father rejected him before he was born. You really think when he hears the truth that he’s going to want to welcome you into his life with open arms?”
“I guess that’s the risk I’m willing to take to have the opportunity to have a relationship with my son.”
Tears threatened to spill from the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t let this happen. “Don’t do this, Judd. I’m begging you. I’ve never asked you for a thing over the years. Give me this. If you tell him the truth now, he’ll hate me. He’ll hate us both.”
Judd shook his head. I couldn’t believe I’d once thought he was so perfect. “I can’t.”
His conviction fired my own. “I’m not going to let you ruin him. This will kill him. He won’t be able to handle it.”
“I wish I’d handled things differently. Now I have the chance to make it right.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to wrap my hands around his thick neck and squeeze. I wanted to disappear, fall into a heap in the middle of the sidewalk and check out completely. But I couldn’t. Not if I wanted to protect Rodney. Crazy options flew through my head. We could move. I could take him somewhere far, far away. Where Judd couldn’t find us.
That wouldn’t work. What excuse would I give Rodney that would make him willing to leave his friends? How could we leave our family?
“Please think this through. If you do this, you’re going to change everything.” I tried to reach for Judd’s hand, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch him. “You’re putting your own family at risk. How are they going to feel when they find out you have another son? One who’s been living right under their noses all these years?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t think I can keep this to myself any more. I’ll give you a couple of weeks. Either you can tell him, or I will.” His face changed, his features bolstered with a steely resolve.
I couldn’t bear to breathe the same air as him for another second longer. “We’re not done talking about this.”
“Scarlett”—his voice came out firm, no room for doubt or negotiation—“two weeks.”
“Fuck you, Judd Waite.” I turned around quick, bumping into Cassie who’d just walked out of the front door of the Lovebird.
“You okay, Scarlett?” she asked.
I waved my hand in the air as I picked up my pace and half jogged, half stumbled down the sidewalk. “Gotta go. I’ll catch you later.” I couldn’t afford to let her see me cry. I’d kept this secret to myself for over fifteen years. Now Judd’s sudden conscience threatened to ruin everything. I couldn’t let him.
27
Theo
Voice mail again. I’d tried calling Scarlett for the past two days and every single time it went straight to voice mail. I wondered if I’d done something to piss her off. She’d seemed to be in pretty good spirits when I left. Did she regret our time together? Maybe she was seeing someone else. The possibilities raced through my head. I did everything I could to squelch them with no success.
If nothing else, I’d see her day after tomorrow. I still hadn’t found a place to stay. The only motel even close was over forty-five minutes away. I had a reservation for my dad and the team but still hoped I’d be able to find somewhere closer for me so I could spend as much time as possible with Scarlett.
I fumbled through my presentation at the elementary school, answering the typical questions. Hopefully, once my dad confirmed the hibernating colony, I’d get to move out of public relations and take on a more active field role. My ankle twitched as I thought about crawling through tunnels and spending most of my time in the dark, closed-in tightness of the underground. I’d have to get over my fear if I wanted to be taken seriously in this field. It had limited my progress so far, even caused me to give up trying to make a living with my degree. The time I’d spent in Canada had been good for my ego but not so great for my heart. For better or for worse, my heart belonged with the bats. It was time to confront the trauma from my youth and finally put it behind me.
As I got into my truck, ready to make the trek to the next town on my route where I’d present to a junior high and high school, my phone buzzed.
A text from Scarlett filled my screen.
Scarlett: Hey, sorry for the silent treatment. It’s been a bit crazy around here.
Me: Everything okay?
Scarlett: Not really but it will be.
Me: Want to talk about it?
Scarlett: Not yet.
Me: If you change your mind, I’m just a phone call away.
My phone rang. A smile spread over my mouth as I saw her number. “Hey. You decide you need to talk about it after all?”
“No. I just wanted to hear your voice. Is that crazy?”
“No.” How could it be crazy when I felt the exact same way? “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
She let out a sigh. “Yeah. It’s just…something with Rodney.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“I barely know you.”
True. But I also felt like I knew her on a deeper level than some of the people I spent vast amounts of time with. “That might be true for now, but I’m hoping that’s going to change.”
“Careful about saying stuff like that.”
“Why? I mean it.”
What sounded like a strangled sob came through the phone. She cleared her throat. “I’d better get going. I just wanted to say hi and tell you I’m looking forward to seeing you this weekend.”
“Scarlett?”
“Yeah?” Her voice came out soft and low…totally opposite of how I remembered the sassy, outspoken woman I’d spent the weekend with.
“You sure you’re okay?”
Resignation drifted through the phone line. “Yeah.”
“You need a hug?” I wanted to be there for her. She was right, we didn’t really know each other. But sometimes, when you meet someone, you feel that kind of connection. Call it déjà vu or maybe it’s some karmic, cosmic kind of thing. Whatever it was, I had that with Scarlett. And it seemed like she felt it too.
/> “Save me one for Friday?” she asked.
“Of course.” My arms tingled thinking about how it would feel to hold her close again. “Oh, hey, about this weekend.”
“What? Are you still coming?”
“Yeah. But Dottie’s sister is coming to town so she doesn’t have a room for me. I’ve got the rest of the team booked out in Clinton, but was hoping to stay somewhere closer. Know of anywhere?”
“Hmm. No, nothing comes to mind. But why don’t you stay with me?”
I swallowed. Hard. “You sure?”
“I don’t know. Should I be sure? I’ve got a guest bedroom we use for storage. I wouldn’t be comfortable with you staying in my room with me. Not because I wouldn’t want you to, but Rodney, you know.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t want to impose or make things uncomfortable with Rodney.” I lowered my voice. “But it would be nice to be so close. If you’re sure it’s not too soon or too forward.”
“Do you think it’s too soon?” Worry traced the edges of her voice.
“No. I mean, yeah, it’s soon, but I like you. A lot.”
“I like you too, Theo.”
“Then, who says what’s too soon? Isn’t it up to us?”
“Yeah, I suppose it is.”
“Okay, then. I’d love to stay in your spare room.”
“Okay, then. I’d love to have you.”
A weird warmth spread from my chest, filtering through my limbs. This was happening. It had been years since I’d felt this way about a woman. A shiver of excitement rumbled through me. “I’ll see you Friday then.”
“Until Friday.” She disconnected first.
Damn, I couldn’t keep the giant grin from spreading across my face. My cheeks hurt from splitting. Things were looking up. Success at the career. Bright prospects on the opposite sex front. I didn’t quite know what the hell to do with myself.
As long as I was sitting there, I checked my email. A message from the school I was supposed to speak at the next day caught my eye. Some sort of Noro virus had swept through the district and they were closing the schools for the next two days. I thought of Scarlett, sitting all alone in Swallow Springs, in need of a hug. With the rest of my week canceled, I had nothing stopping me from arriving a couple of days early and surprising her.
Why the hell not? I’d spent most of my life not taking big chances, letting myself get swept along by the current of what everyone else wanted me to be. Now seemed like as good a time as any to start making my own way. And I’d start by surprising Scarlett.
I pulled up the route to Swallow Springs on my phone and checked the clock on my center console. By ten tonight I’d be able to give Scarlett that hug I’d promised. With a little extra pep in my heart, I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of my parking spot.
28
Scarlett
I’d almost nodded off, the book in my hands was halfway to the floor, when a knock at the front door startled me wide awake. Ten thirty at night on a Wednesday. My first thought was something had happened with Rodney. But he was sound asleep in bed. I’d checked on him myself a half hour ago. The two hour practices after school were wearing him out. Had something happened to my mom? As I shoved the hand-knit afghan off my lap and rose from the chair, I checked my phone. No messages, no texts from Dustin or my mom. What the hell?
I peered out the window as I made my way to the door. It was so dark out I couldn’t make out the vehicle parked behind mine in the drive. As I reached the door and prepared to peer through the peephole, another knock sounded, this one louder, insistent.
“Open up, Scarlett Jarrett. I know you’re in there.” April’s voice assaulted my ears.
“April?” I pressed my eye to the peephole. April stood on my stoop, her face a mess of smeared mascara.
“Let me in. Before someone sees me out here. Open up.”
I undid the deadbolt and opened the door a crack. April pushed through, causing the door to fling open and bang into the wall.
“What are you doing here?” I tried to stand my ground but she brushed right by and swept through my front room in a blaze of tears and a cloud of pricey perfume.
“Tissues. Don’t you have any tissues in this place?” Her eyes wild, she searched the horizontal surfaces in the living room then moved into the kitchen.
I didn’t have much of a choice but to follow. “What are you doing here?”
She grabbed my dishcloth from where it hung on its hook by the sink. Transferring the black raccoon rings from under her eyes to the hand-embroidered tea towel my mom had made, she faced me, her eyes rimmed in red. “How could you?”
I put my hands out, palms up. “What’s going on, April? How could I what?”
“You and Judd. Rodney’s his, isn’t he?”
“Would you please keep your voice down?” I crossed the kitchen in just a few adrenaline-fueled steps. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Blubbering, she wiped my dish towel over her cheeks then had the nerve to blow her nose into a fold.
Another knock sounded on the open front door. “Hey, anyone home?”
Now what? I could barely hear over the sound of April’s nose. “You”—I jabbed a finger into her shoulder—“stay here.”
She didn’t respond, just continued to fill my mom’s handmade tea towel with her bodily fluids. I moved to the front room in time to see Theo set his duffel down on the floor by the couch.
“Theo?” My voice cracked.
“Hey.” He opened his arms and moved toward me, erasing the distance between us.
I flung myself at his chest, needing to feel something solid underneath me. As his arms wrapped around me, cradling me against him, the waterworks began. His palm smoothed over my back, and he mumbled soothing words I couldn’t even hear. My world was crashing down around me, and the only thing solid enough to keep me from collapsing under the rubble was this man, anchoring me against him.
“Scarlett?” April stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “We need to talk.”
I nodded as I pulled myself away from Theo.
“What’s going on?” Theo asked. “Is everything okay?” His gaze searched mine. I wondered what he must think, finding me in my own living room with my sworn mortal enemy, both of us in tears.
“A lot’s happened since you were here on Sunday,” I tried to explain.
“How can I help?” he asked. In that moment I wanted to nestle against him, hide my head from the rest of the world, and let him shelter me from my problems. But avoidance hadn’t worked in my thirty-plus years. If I’d learned anything, I’d figured out it wasn’t the right way to go.
“Would you mind finding something for us to drink and bringing it out to the porch?” I asked. Glancing at April, taking in the tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, I added, “Something with alcohol. Lots of alcohol.”
Theo nodded and let me go. I nudged my head toward the front door. “Come on, April. Let’s go sit outside. I don’t want to wake Rodney up.”
She nodded and moved toward the door. Silently, thank God.
As we settled onto the hand-me-down wicker set my mom had passed on to me, another set of headlights shone across my front yard as Judd’s truck pulled into the drive. My place had become party central tonight. I guess we were doing this, right here, right now.
Judd rushed across the lawn. “April, baby. What are you doing here?” He reached for his wife’s hand. She jerked away and tried tucking herself into the side of the chair.
Theo came out of the front door holding a bottle of whiskey and three glasses. He shot me a questioning look and I shrugged. “Do you mind grabbing another glass?”
He nodded then disappeared back inside.
Judd squatted down next to April, still trying to get her to look at him. My guess was he’d come clean with her tonight about his relationship with Rodney. And April, not wanting to believe him, decided to confront me. But I didn’t want to be the first to speak. He was the one who’d brough
t this on himself. All I’d ever done was honor his wishes that I never speak to him, never tell anyone about Rodney’s true parentage, and never ask him for a “Goddamn thing.”
Theo came out with another glass and set it down on the table. I took the liberty of pouring a couple fingers of whiskey into each glass. April reached for hers immediately, her hands shaking. I couldn’t imagine the shock she must have felt when Judd broke the news. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
I scooted over on the wicker love seat, making room for Theo. “You want me to wait for you inside?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I patted the cushion next to me. “I’d love to have your support if you’re okay being here.”
He grabbed my hand as he settled next to me, our thighs pressed against each other. He was right. We barely knew each other. But it seemed like his fate had crossed with mine. That we were more intertwined than some of the people I’d known my whole life. What he would hear tonight might shock him, maybe even turn him away from me forever, but I need someone in my corner. Facing down the Waites would be a Herculean task.
“So,” Judd began. “I told April tonight.”
No shit. I nodded, forcing him to carry the conversation.
“She didn’t take it well.” Judd’s palm rested on his wife’s knee.
“All this time. You and Scarlett must have been laughing behind my back. Who else knows about this?” April turned her rage on Judd.
Theo squeezed my hand like he was trying to infuse his support through our linked fingers. I squeezed back.
“No one else knows,” Judd reassured her. “Scarlett’s never told anyone and neither have I.”
“Then why now? Why ruin my life if you never had any intention of telling anyone?” Of course April would make it all about her.
I bit my tongue, waiting to see how things would play out between Judd and his wife before I opened my mouth and potentially inserted my foot.
Judd didn’t pay us any attention, he focused solely on April. “I didn’t plan on ever telling anyone. But Rodney’s got a gift. I want to work with him and see if he can go all the way to the pros. Give him the opportunity I didn’t have.”
