Aaron smiled. “Exactly right.”
Addy broke in. “Thank you, Lana. I think that’s an excellent analogy. And the reaction Aaron had is legitimate.”
They moved on to another topic for a short while, and before Lana knew it, the hour had ended. The controversy during the group therapy had tired Lana. She couldn’t wait for Jillie to pick her up and to go home. She hurried out to the front steps and searched the parking lot for Jillie’s car. Addy had broken up the group about five minutes later than normal. No sign of Jillie’s car.
Lana heaved a sigh. Soon everyone was gone—well, almost everyone. She noticed the dark SUV on one side of the parking lot, but couldn’t tell who was in it. Wait. Wasn’t that Aaron’s vehicle? Magnus’s car was on the opposite side of the parking lot, and he sat there watching her. He waved. She reluctantly lifted her hand. She thought about going back to the door, but the security guard had locked it behind them. She reached in her purse for her keys and tightened her hand around them until she held them like a knife.
The SUV door opened, and Aaron stepped out. It was, as the old saying went, déjà vu all over again.
Aaron sauntered over the ground. No, he swaggered. But not in the arrogant way a man with a huge ego would possess. His walk was distinctive. Strong. Individual. She had a feeling he was all that and more. The more worried her a little.
When he reached her at the top of the stairs, Magnus’s car roared out of the parking lot going way too fast.
“Damn, he’s late for a date,” Aaron said with an evil grin.
She returned his smile, feeling lighter than she had in some time. “Apparently. Why are you hanging around?”
“Because your friend is late again.”
“So you wait to see if she turns up on time?”
“Yep.”
“Very chivalrous.”
“Like I said Tuesday, my Dad taught me right.”
What did she say to him? Despite feeling lighter, she didn’t feel any less awkward.
He leaned back against the railing one step down from her, his arms crossed again as he looked out at the darkening sky. The sun hadn’t dipped behind Pikes Peak and the surrounding mountains, but clouds rolled over the mountains and lightning flashed in the far distance.
“Hope your friend gets here before that storm does,” he said.
She glanced at her watch. Jillie was now ten minutes late. “No. What I need to do is start driving myself.”
He continued gazing toward the coming storm. “Have you tried driving with someone else in the car?”
“Once. Jillie and I tried. I couldn’t make it out of the parking lot.”
He sighed. “It must be frustrating for you to be stuck in your house like that unless she can take you.”
“Very frustrating.”
“Thanks for coming to my defense tonight.” He threw a smile at her, and then returned his attention to the mountains and clouds. “I appreciate it.”
“About the ice cream?” She made a soft snort. “You didn’t need the help.”
His gaze returned to her, curious. “No. Why did you defend me?”
She shrugged. She drew her hand out of the handbag and the keys jangled. “Because I understood what you were saying when Roxanne didn’t. I’ve had that same frustration. When I went into the apartment yesterday after failing to drive…I almost had a temper tantrum.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because part of me has given up. What’s the point in fighting the inevitable?”
He turned toward her, his brow now furrowed in question or concern. He took the step and stood next to her. Not too close. His arms lowered to his side. “You can’t do that. You can’t give up.”
Part of her wanted to tell him to bug off. “Why not? Some things can’t be solved.”
He tilted his head to the side, and fading light glinted for a moment on the gold in his buzzed short light brown hair. She wondered if his hair was curly or straight when it was long. The weird thought darted in and out of her head while he stared at her with those intense eyes.
“You don’t believe that.” He almost sounded offended.
Tears stung her eyes. She didn’t know why. “Maybe I do.”
“You’re a strong woman with a lot of courage. You don’t give up.”
“Marines don’t give up. Sure you’re not talking about yourself?”
He made a half laugh, a bare whisper of sound. He scratched his chin. “Yeah, could be. I’ve considered giving up in the last few months.”
“Why?”
“Because it just seems…you know that feeling in your gut when it all seems like too much work? You just get tired of trying?”
“I’ve ached with it sometimes.” Speaking the words hurt too. “Not often. Not for long.”
“Good.”
She shook her head. “I don’t get you.”
One of his dark eyebrows lifted. “What is there to get?”
“You retired from the marines, right?”
“Yep.”
“You’re not that old.”
“I’m thirty-eight.”
“Like I said, not that old. You have a ton to live for.”
He stood straight and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t worry. You’re not going to hear about me offing myself in the newspapers.”
A shiver ran over her as safety lights in the parking lot flickered to life. “That would be horrible…don’t ever…”
“I won’t.” He smiled, and this time it held gentleness and concern. “Thanks for caring.”
What could she say to that?
“I’m sorry about the panic attacks, or whatever they are. I’ve had those,” he said.
“Since you retired?”
He shifted on his feet, his legs spreading apart as if he anchored himself on a boat deck. “No. When I was afraid I would fail Force Recon. The qualification process is a royal bitch. I made it through the first challenge…not drowning the first day.”
“They wouldn’t let you drown.”
“No. But it felt like I might a couple of times. I kept pushing because I’ve always been a strong swimmer. That night I should have been exhausted. I was wired as hell. That’s when I felt what you described.”
“Did it happen to you more than once?”
“No. But I’ll never forget that feeling. It’s stuck in my memory forever.”
They went silent for a bit, and the quiet made her a bit jumpy. She was here with a strange man…okay maybe not strange or a stranger, but still…Her fingers tightened on the keys again.
“Hey,” he said softly as his gaze darted to her hand clutching the keys. “It’s all right. You’re safe with me. I’m not some weirdo stalker.”
“How could you tell what I was thinking?”
“It makes sense. I don’t blame you for thinking that way. But I swear on my life I would never hurt you.”
She knew it down deep, where her instincts resided. “Thank you for getting between me and Magnus. He creeps me out.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Is that why you didn’t leave the parking lot tonight?”
“Partly. And like I told you before, I’m not leaving you alone to wait for your friend. Ever.”
She pulled out her phone and saw the time on the display. “God…she’s so late this time. I should call and make sure she’s all right.”
Lana’s phone rang, and she startled in surprise. Jillie’s name came up on the display. “It’s her.” She answered. “Hey there.”
Jillie’s voice came over the line. “I’m so sorry. I got out of work late…my stupid boss. Anyway, there’s a big wreck on I-25, and the traffic isn’t even moving. I’m not even close to an exit.”
“Oh.” She glanced up at Aaron. “Well, okay. I’ll just wait here.”
“I feel terrible. It’s getting so dark, and you’re there alone.”
“Well, I’m not alone. Aaron MacPherson is here waiting with me.”
&nb
sp; “Uh-huh. Do you feel safe there?”
“Yes. But he may have somewhere else to be.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s stuck on I-25. There’s an accident holding up traffic.”
“I’ve got nowhere to be. I can hang here with you until she get here.”
Jillie piped in. “Ask him if he can take you home. God only knows how long I’ll be stuck here.”
“What?” Lana asked.
“I’m sure he’s safe. Besides, we know who he is and I know you’re with him. He isn’t going to do anything to you.”
Jillie’s voice was loud enough Lana thought maybe he’d heard Jillie.
He winked. “She’s right. That’s a good idea. I’ll take you home.”
“But it could be out of your way.”
“Where do you live?” he asked.
“Over off of Voyager.”
“I live on the south side.”
“See, that’s out of your way.”
Jillie said, “It’s out of my way to come and get you.”
Lana heard the pique in her friend’s voice. “All right. Fine. He can take me home. I’ll talk to you later, Jillie.”
She hung up on her friend, feeling a bit strong-armed into doing what they wanted. But what choice did she have, short of calling a cab? “I guess that is that. Let’s go.”
He grinned and followed her toward his SUV. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Her heart started to pick up speed.
She came to a halt. “I…”
He stopped with her, and he held his hand out. “It’s all right. Look, if you want to call your friend and tell her you’re not going with me, I understand. I’ll still wait here with you.”
She took a deep breath. “No. I can do this.”
She shook inside, but she moved forward and they climbed into the SUV. She noticed right away the car looked and smelled clean.
“Seatbelt,” he said.
“Oh, yes. Of course. I always wear a seat belt.” She strapped in at the same time he did.
“Normally I lock the doors, but I’ll leave them unlocked. If that would make you feel more comfortable?”
“Yes.”
His consideration eased the weirdness, the half breathless, half excited sensation dancing around inside her. How the hell was it possible to be attracted to and fearful of the same person? And she was attracted to him. Everything about him was powerful, ripped, a man to be reckoned with. She’d noticed that when he talked to her, his voice was softer. More gentle than when he talked to the men in their group. Even with Roxanne, his voice had stayed calm and quiet. Yet there was strength and purpose and even command when he talked with other men.
He fired up the engine and soon they drove through the streets, avoiding I-25. He didn’t turn on the radio, and the low purr of the engine was calming. The quiet between them soothed her, and the weird little panic disappeared. He drove at the speed limit, something that surprised her. So many men she’d known drove like the devil was after them. He seemed casual and at ease behind the wheel, not in a hurry to get anywhere.
“Okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. I hate like hell that you’re afraid of me.”
“Why would you care that much?”
“Because that’s not who I am.”
She smiled. “Well, you are a big, scary dude. I mean…even that tattoo alone is intimidating.”
Now that she was closer to him, she saw the skull and crossed rifles, with Force Recon emblazoned in a circle on the outside middle of his left bicep. There was no color to it. No, that wasn’t true. The skull eyes were red.
He shrugged. “A lot of marines have tattoos. I never wanted one until I made it into Force Recon. It was hell and I made it through. I wanted to remember that.”
“As if you could forget.”
“You know anything about the military?”
“Yes. I’ve known quite a few families here in Colorado Springs. I taught their kids at Bennett High. But I saw a documentary on Force Recon Marines once a few years back. That’s how I know how hard it is.”
She thought of asking him more questions, but something held her back. Instead, she went quiet again until they reached her apartment complex. She directed him where to park near her apartment. He left the vehicle idling.
“Thank you, Aaron.”
“You’re welcome. Call your friend when you get in the apartment and let her know I got you home safely, okay? I don’t want her calling the police on me, thinking I hurt you.”
“Of course. Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for…the trust exercise. The way you told Magnus to back off.”
“Anytime.”
She opened the door. “Goodnight, Aaron. See you next week.”
“Lana.”
She glanced back at him. “Yes?”
“Do me a favor and don’t ever be alone with Magnus, okay?”
The idea sent a cold shiver rippling up and down her body. “Why?”
He snorted a soft laugh. “Seriously? He’s a creep. I get a bad feeling about him.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I have no intention of being anywhere near him alone. Good night.”
“’Night.”
He waited down below until she’d entered her apartment, and she quickly engaged all the locks. She settled on the couch and dug out her cell phone to make a call to Jillie. Jillie was still stuck on the highway.
“So, how was the ride?” Jillie said.
Lana’s face burned as her imagination took flight and went straight for the gutter. She imagined him riding her, and a flash of heat slid through her loins.
“It was fine. He was a perfect gentleman.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I’m glad. Stay on the phone and keep me company. I’m bored.”
Later that night Lana dreamed. A hot dream with sexual overtones, and all of them featured one Force Recon marine. She couldn’t see his face, but there was no mistaking that deep, husky voice coaxing her to do dangerous, sexy things.
Chapter 4
“You did what?” Aaron asked his old Force Recon buddy, Vince Cruz, over the phone Sunday night. “You broke your leg? How did you do that?”
“Fell off a horse.”
“Shit.” Aaron flopped down on his couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. A few magazines fell onto the floor. Fuck. “You make it through Afghanistan without getting blown up or shot, and you fall off a horse?”
“I know. Fucked up, isn’t it?”
Vince Cruz had been with Aaron in the 1st Marine Division out of Camp Pendleton in California when the call had come to go into Iraq. What they’d seen and done there had seared his brain.
“Worst of times, best of times,” Aaron said.
Vince laughed. “Yeah. It was. So how are you doing? I haven’t talked to you in two months, man.”
“Well, you know how retirement is, old man. Places to go, people to see.”
“Yeah? That’s not what I heard.”
Aaron slid down until he laid full length on the couch. “Shit, here it comes.”
“Hey, man. I’m not saying anything negative here. I’m just worried. Someone told me…all right, your dad told me what happened. That you have to go to group therapy because you pounded some fucker who was dissing the military.”
Anger sprouted up, but so did resignation. People would find out, if they already hadn’t. “Guess there wasn’t a way to lock down that info.”
“No way, bro. Word gets out. But what I care about is how you’re doing.”
“I’m good.” Liar.
“Yeah?”
“I smell like a rose.”
Cruz laughed. “You’re full of shit.”
“That too.”
“Be straight with me. How are you?”
He’d been Cruz’s friend since the day they’d met twenty some years ago. Cruz had saved his ass once, and he’d never forget that. “Hanging in there. Doing my
time, if you can call it that.”
“You don’t have a temper, man. You’re the iciest cucumber in the drink. What the hell happened?”
“I just…the asshole in the restaurant was talking smack. I came unglued.”
“That’s not like you. I’ve seen assholes get up in your face and you ignored their crap like no one else.”
“I know. I know that, damn it. Everybody testifying in my defense said that. Didn’t make any difference. I have to do this therapy or I’m in the brig for assault.”
“You think it was okay to deck the guy?”
As much as Aaron hated to admit it, lying to Cruz would be wrong. “I should have just tuned him out.”
Cruz cleared his throat. “We all make mistakes. You’ve just had too many years dealing with…well, everything we’ve dealt with.”
“Christ, like that’s a lot of help. I can’t think of a single incident or reason for why I freaked.” Cruz knew Aaron had prided himself on clarity and calm all his life, even before the marines. “It’s like I’m brittle now. Broken even.”
“Hell no. You aren’t broken. You just need patching up. You dating anyone? Maybe some sexual healing would do the trick.”
A vision of Lana Burns popped into Aaron’s head. Oh, yeah. He’d like to date her.
Where the hell had that idea come from? After taking her home last week, after that crazy surge of energy that made him want to protect her, he’d come down to Earth. He couldn’t date her. She had problems. He had problems. It was nuckin’ futs to even consider a relationship at this point.
Aaron knew his friend didn’t mean any harm by saying all he needed was sex to fix what ailed him. “No, I’m not dating. Now wouldn’t be a good time.”
“Dude, you haven’t dated much in twenty years. Now is the time. You can’t claim the marines are getting in your way.”
He’d tried one-night stands and found those unsatisfactory. He’d been too wrapped up in Marine Corps life to give much thought to serious dating or even marriage. A little harmless sex, okay. He hadn’t even indulged in that much.
“Enough about me. How are Bea and the kids?” Aaron asked.
“Jack’s looking forward to finishing high school, and Candy almost has her black belt. She’s well-armed for high school this year.”
“Yeah, the boys better watch out. Daddy has a shotgun.”
Before There Was You Page 7
