We stayed at the owner’s mansion and when we got there we were welcomed by his assistant, Silvana, who is a local. She and Nicolás accompanied us for most of the activities we did during the week. We were in good hands.
I’d wake up at 7 a.m. to a beautiful view and we’d go out walking for a couple of hours. Then we’d come back and chat over leisurely breakfasts, with croissants and dulce de leche providing a sweet touch. Next we’d go off fishing, rafting, horse riding or quad-biking, or play paintball or padel . . . At lunchtime, we’d have a picnic wherever we happened to be, in the mountains or by a lake. We’d have dinner at the house, but always in a different spot. And we spent hour upon hour talking – mostly about football, of course. And about wine, which Daniel and I both love. We spoke about things for which we don’t find time at the training ground, even though the chairman’s wife says I’m the third member of their marriage!
Football remained the main topic, though. Sometimes club presidents and chairmen appoint a coach because of his CV, but until they make a real connection, they don’t truly understand what they’ve brought to the club. Spending so many hours together helped Daniel get closer to how we think. We spoke about being more effective, about strategies, about how we can improve and become more competitive. About why I prefer to give home-grown kids chances rather than signing players, and the problems that can be caused by buying players you don’t need. Leaving a signing on the bench is not the same as having an academy graduate as a bench-warmer.
We reprised a really interesting game we’d first played a while back. We had to split the Premier League squads into good players, very good players and stars. In doing so, the different opinions we each had about these categories became apparent, and some very constructive discussions ensued.
A chairman and a manager can only really talk football at a superficial level. But I was able to explain to him in detail how, the more defined your playing style is, the more difficult transfers become, because either a player gives you something specific that you’re lacking, or you’re better off not signing anyone. We also came away with a better understanding of the club. Tottenham are building a players’ lodge and a stadium. We must be one of the few clubs that turns a profit every year, and that’s where the money for those projects comes from. An interesting change of role among the coaching staff took place during this conversation. Toni, Miki, Jesús and I always debate everything, with everyone saying their piece, no prisoners taken, whereas when we talk to the club, to the chairman, we become one voice.
On the second day, we crossed the lake by boat and went hiking in the woods for around three hours. We walked across brooks, drank water from streams, stopped to hug 3,000-year-old trees. We duly got back on the boat and rode to an island, where we wolfed down barbecue fare: the whole hog, from grilled Provoleta cheese to empanadas (pasties) and roast baby goat.
I did my best captain act and made as if to sail the boat ‘home’, but we were still in the mood for more. ‘How about we take the quads for a spin?’ By the time we were careering down a steep slope, with no brakes, the idea no longer seemed such a good one.
Being so far from the city sharpens your thoughts and senses. The ideas that come to you may not be ingenious, but they seem so at the time. I massively enjoyed the moments we spent together as a group, as well as the odd solo outing to the wharf, a quiet, enchanting spot. One day when I was cycling, I bumped into Jesús, who had gone for a run. We decided to press on together; he jogged and I pedalled alongside him. There was this incredible energy – we didn’t need to talk, we just kept going, our surroundings making us feel part of something much bigger than ourselves.
On the Friday, we gave a talk at the estate’s on-site community centre. We brought together people from the local football scene and showed them how we work. We didn’t have all that long because, as usual, we had other activities lined up. After lunch, we went rafting around the lower River Manso, the eight of us plus the guide. We covered 18 kilometres, the first few of which were relatively calm.
‘You’ll fall off at some point,’ they warned us, ‘but don’t worry, we won’t leave you behind.’ The first to take a tumble was Jesús, at the very first rapid, and the guide grabbed his leg and pulled him back in. No sooner was the next rapid upon us than Jesús once more plunged head-first into the water. We were all laughing at him, but then we started going through rougher patches. Still, everything was going more or less fine until the last rapid.
Suddenly, the boat flipped. Instead of punching through the wave, the raft swerved and several members of the group were flung out. Jesús once more went flying, on this occasion joined by Daniel – who was in the middle – Nicolás, Toni and Miki.
They were scattered in different directions. Jesús fell right in front of us and the safety boat accompanying us went to fetch him. Toni, who ended up behind us, was spotted by the guide; to the right were Nicolás, who was hauled up by everyone in unison, and Daniel. I’d promised the chairman that I’d fish him out if he fell in, and I was true to my word.
I saw Daniel in the water, looking at me, a picture of seriousness. I grabbed his hands and heaved him in. Then we joked about how I should’ve demanded a new contract, telling him, ‘Daniel, either you double our salary or you’re not getting into the boat.’
And Miki? We didn’t even realise that he was missing.
Some 15 to 20 seconds had gone by. We were all focused on the water, on rescuing everyone we’d seen. And we hadn’t thought about Miki, who’d wound up under the raft, underwater for several interminable seconds, unable to come up for air. Finally he emerged to the left. ‘I’m drowning!’ he kept yelling. We pulled him into the boat. We were extremely shaken!
I don’t think I will be recommending it to the players . . .
We went out walking early the next day. At one point, it suddenly hit us that our week away was coming to an end, and we concurred that we’d all felt it had been special. After returning from the walk, we had breakfast and packed our bags.
Something really strange happened to me. When we were saying goodbye to the 15 to 20 people who had welcomed us and shown us such warmth and patience over the previous days, I burst into tears. If someone had asked me why at the time, I wouldn’t have had an answer. We’d created a group chat for everyone on the trip and in one message I wrote that you can’t hide in Lago Escondido. You can’t conceal who you are. In the middle of nature, all the masks slip.
My wife made the most beautiful remark on the subject, which I drew inspiration from: ‘Do you want to know why you felt so good and it made you cry? Because nature didn’t judge you; because you felt free to be yourself for seven days.’ She hit the nail on the head. We live in a world where everyone does that very thing: pass judgement. From your neighbour to the guy over there on a motorbike; when you go to the airport and people look at you, they’re judging you in their minds. Ultimately, all of us in this world are nothing but actors on a stage. And what we felt in Lago Escondido was liberation.
We flew to Buenos Aires, to San Fernando Airport, and a van came to pick us up which jarred completely with everything that had come before. It was cramped, barely seeming big enough for the suitcases, there was stuff on the floor, including paint cans, and it was dirty and completely dilapidated. We laughed about it, picturing ourselves arriving at the hotel and the concierge asking us, ‘Who are you lot? Are you from the orchestra?’ We chatted for a while at the hotel and had a great grill platter washed down with some excellent wine.
We went for another walk after dinner. Toni and Allan were walking, talking and hugging each other ahead of us, and someone drove by and yelled out, ‘putos’! Allan turned to the car, not having understood what was said to him, and greeted the excitable young men. Toni, still with his arm around his shoulder, proceeded to explain to him what they had just shouted. ‘It means “prostitutes”, Allan’. His reaction – pushing away Toni’s arm with all the masculine force he could muster – was hysterical.
<
br /> We had a good chuckle before heading off to bed.
*
We got to London at 5 a.m. on Monday and after a brief stint at home, we met up at the club once again. Janssen, Kane and Eriksen were not playing in their countries’ second international fixtures and were already back. The rest of the players have been gradually arriving throughout the week. I’ve been keeping a close eye on everything in training. I’ve led defensive, attacking and positional drills and I’ve worked on set-pieces with the goalkeepers. I even got everyone involved in the Mannequin Challenge which did the rounds online. It was absolutely hilarious. Today, 18 November, we’ve all managed to train ahead of the home game against West Ham. The starting line-up has been decided.
There was no alternative but to get straight back to normality. To the relentless rain and traffic.
*
We came away from the Arsenal game happy, although we hadn’t won. We needed to get back to winning ways against West Ham, but we found ourselves behind with 89 minutes on the clock.
I handed a first league start to Harry Winks, a Tottenham fan through and through who’s been with us for eight years. We tried out a slightly different formation which was a diamond with two forwards. It didn’t come off, although it’d gone well in training the day before. At no stage were we able to play as we wanted, we conceded a goal from a corner and I decided to switch to a classic 4-4-2. The team performed better, but we still went in at the break 1–0 down. We didn’t show the players any footage from the first half; we just repositioned the attacking line and explained how we were going to go forward. We made a good start to the second period and young Winks equalised on his full debut and in a derby!
We were looking good, but we conceded again. We made a few tweaks to the formation which didn’t come off. Son came on and lost the ball with his first five touches before providing the cross for Harry Kane to equalise in the 89th minute. Two minutes later we were awarded a penalty for a foul on Kane which he converted himself.
The referee blew for full-time: 3–2. We really needed that win.
Winks, who was grateful for the faith that I’d shown in him, came to our dressing room and we gave each other a big hug before greeting the rest of the coaching staff. The chairman also came down, just when we were with West Ham’s cohort. We exchanged formal greetings and when they left Daniel gave me such a big hug that he almost lifted me off the ground. It was an emotion-filled game where we really had to dig in.
My shoulder was hurting the day after. To be honest, I could feel pain pretty much all over my body. Tension levels were high. Maybe we didn’t perform that well, but we didn’t think West Ham were the better side. It was our perseverance that helped us turn it around. Harry Kane was our saviour with two goals and three points to keep us within three points of the top. How could we not miss a striker like Kane for ten games!
It’s Monday today and we’re off to Monaco for a key Champions League fixture. Some of the boys are now coming back from injury. We’ll get to see Kane play the whole 90 minutes. We have to check on Dembélé, Alli and Vertonghen’s fitness after such an intense derby. Last year we were seemingly immune to injuries, not so much this year. Harry and Toby have already missed three Champions League games, for example. But any other team can tell a similar story.
Only a win tomorrow will do.
*
22 November. We were beaten by Monaco.
We kept them at bay in the first half. Son missed a golden chance for us, just as he and Kane did at Wembley against the Monégasques. It was Dele Alli’s turn against Bayer. You pay for that at this level.
Despite making some tactical adjustments, we conceded straight after the break. We responded by equalising through a penalty during our next attack. Monaco were still in a strong position, given that they only needed a point to get through. What followed summed up our European campaign rather fittingly.
After we had equalised, they kicked off and four passes later, in the 53rd minute, Thomas Lemar scored what would prove to be the winner. We conceded with 11 players behind the ball! It’s very difficult to fathom. Do we lose concentration at key moments? Is it an accumulation of individual mistakes or a collective one? Is it down to quality or mentality?
We did create more chances, but didn’t look like winning the game. We were lacking that attacking aggression that Monaco displayed in abundance. They caused us problems whenever they went forward. We seemed to end up going backwards whenever we had the chance to push on.
It was hard to watch from the dugout. I stood in my technical area for the last 20 minutes, trying to project an image of calmness. When things are going wrong, it’s important they don’t get any worse.
The challenge in the Champions League is more mental than physical or tactical. It’s a matter of knowing what it takes to win when the pressure is high. We don’t lack quality, just that psychological strength that enables you to play at the top level with only a few days’ rest. We’ve only scored one goal in Europe from open play, which was Son’s winner against CSKA. The other two were from a free-kick and a penalty. We’ve now lost three out of five games. There’s plenty of in-house debate over how we can change the way we play and the best way that the players can combine in order to maximise our resources and compensate for our frailties.
We had plenty of discussions about it with the chairman in Argentina. As well as helping this young squad mature, it is absolutely crucial we have to be both imaginative and brave to improve and continue being competitive at the highest level.
I prepared for the press conference with Simon and Jesús. I had to say, as serenely as possible, that we haven’t been able to show who we are, although every loss has only been by the odd goal. Add to that the fact that we’re taking steps forward, but we still have to improve the squad. Everyone has to learn from this, starting with me.
Maybe our heads are moving faster than the evolution of the team. We have to be critical of ourselves. Tonight I asked Jesús if he thought that maybe we were putting the players under too much pressure, knowing that many of them are already giving their absolute all. ‘Maybe they have no more to give, but without pressure, they’d give less,’ he answered.
*
Getting knocked out of the Champions League by Monaco was a tough blow that I didn’t expect, just like most blows in life. When you want something and it escapes your grasp, it takes something away from you. It didn’t lessen my strength, but I was disappointed, above all with myself, for not finding the way to overcome that obstacle. I’m responsible for our premature exit. Maybe we didn’t do enough. I didn’t find the right way to get the significance of the competition through to them. I’ve watched the games back, dissected them and gone over them in my head. I’ve asked myself where I got it wrong.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been isolating myself while on this path of self-reflection in order to think and create something new.
I’ve even distanced myself from my family. When I get home, I put music on or watch a match.
I’m seeking out energy and excitement, that light at the end of the tunnel.
But if I switch off, it’ll all come crashing down.
*
After the setback against Monaco, we had to turn our attentions to the game against Chelsea, the best side in the league alongside Liverpool, in my opinion, with both freed from the shackles of a European campaign. We knew that we were one rung lower down on the ladder than them, but we still wanted to win. We only had a day to prepare for the fixture, which was on Friday, and we had our doubts, but we still thought we knew how to hurt them.
‘Keep your heads up, boys,’ I said to them. ‘It’s 11 v 11.’
We managed to make life hard for them. That was five days ago. It’s now the Thursday after the game at Stamford Bridge. It’s been a week of contrasting emotions.
It isn’t easy to gauge what happened.
We put in a marvellous first-half display against Chelsea. We didn’t let them dominate, we
were on the front foot and kept up a higher level of pressure and aggression than we’d shown for some time. We were convincing going forward, were flying at times and Christian Eriksen scored after 11 minutes. Chelsea had only two chances, one of which came from a weak Hugo Lloris goal-kick and, the other, two minutes later in the 45th minute, led to their first goal. We went in all-square at the break, as unfair as that felt.
Something that Jesús showed me some days before sprang to mind during the second half when we made a defensive error that almost cost us a goal. He had passed on a television clip in which someone explained how a defensive player should react in a certain situation. I was taken aback by the explanations, which stuck in my mind. One of the things I am working hard to control are my emotions during a game – instead of being controlled by them. After our mistake, those words came to mind. Jesús was totally focused on the game and I shouted, ‘See how that guy was completely right?’ Neither Jesús, Miki or Toni could believe their ears – me talking about some video in the middle of the game. Realising Jesús had not understood at all what I was talking about, I sat next to him and started explaining in detail, jokingly, what I was referring too. ‘Look, Jesús, what I mean is . . .’ We couldn’t stop laughing. It was a small moment to lift the tension for a bit.
Victor Moses scored early in the second half and we lost 2–1, but something had happened. Something good. We’ve only won one game in ten, but I’m convinced we’re on the verge of turning things round and not purely because we went toe-to-toe with a team that could well win the league. I realised something. Continually going over things, looking for something that doesn’t exist and trying to square the circle are unnecessary endeavours. The solution lies in having sustained belief in the process. And in finding in oneself the passion and answers to overcome any obstacle. That’s what the trip to Lago Escondido taught us.
Brave New World Page 16
