by Violet Noir
I screamed and collapsed to the ground. My entire body was wracked with sobs. I’d worked so hard to never feel again. Now, I couldn’t stop.
There was only one day I could remember that felt this bad. As I laid down and pressed my cheek to the cold floor, the memories came flooding back.
It had been years since I’d thought about the day my father sold me, but just like that, it was as if my stupid, drug-addicted brain was right back there in his living room again.
I should have known something was up. The day before, he’d started being really nice to me, and for a week before that, he hadn’t hit me with his belt one time. For the first time that I could remember, I’d had no bruises.
The day before my sale, my father had taken me dress shopping. He said that I’d been such a good girl, he wanted to get me a gift. He’d never gotten me a gift in my life, but I was so excited, so starved for affection.
Back then, I wasn’t dead inside yet. I’d been trying so hard to make him happy since momma had gone. I still believed that if I just behaved well enough, he would stop being so angry with me.
So, when he started smiling and stopped beating me, I thought I’d finally done it. I was so stupid. He just wanted me to look good for the buyer.
The man who showed up to make the deal wasn’t supposed to touch me. My father was getting a premium because I was technically a virgin.
And I was still technically a virgin when the man delivered me to the brothel. That didn’t mean he didn’t take me into the bathroom and make me get on my knees.
My father sold me for three hundred dollars’ worth of heroin. Not only was he a violent drug addict with a penchant for belt beatings, but he was also stupid. He could have gotten so much more money for me, but I guess that meant Tamara got a good deal. She made a tidy profit pimping me out, and I know she made a ton on the sale of my virginity.
The man who purchased me for Tamara grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of my father’s house. I didn’t know what was happening at first, so I tried to fight back.
“I’m sorry,” my father had apologized. “Elise, stop. You’re going to make the man have to hurt you.”
“Man, do I gotta drug this bitch?” the guy had asked and reached into his pocket.
It was then that I understood. My father hadn’t just sold the guy a blow job like he’d done so many times before. He’d sold me.
Chapter Nine
Kade
I’d had some time for my temper to cool, and I hadn’t heard Elise for a while. I figured she’d worn herself out. Perhaps exhaustion would make her more open to my suggestions.
I went down to the basement and pressed my thumb against the pad to open the bathroom door. When I unlocked it, I’d expected to see her sitting there on the commode or perhaps the floor.
What I didn’t expect was to see her lying on the bathroom floor with her skin ashen and her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. I rushed to her side and knelt to feel for a pulse. With one hand pressed against the cold tile floor to balance me, I used two fingers to push against her soft flesh where I thought her pulse would be.
She was alive, but her pulse was so weak that it took a minute to find. I’d had to move my fingers to several spots on her neck and under her ear before I located it. “Elise,” I gripped her shoulders and shook her as hard as I could. “Elise, wake up. Come on. Wake up.”
I scanned the room for what she’d taken. I’d convinced myself that I’d either accidentally left something in the room she could use to kill herself, or her begging for drugs had all been an act, and Elise had smuggled something in. I found nothing.
My next move was to call Doctor Saw. That’s what the MC called him. He was our private doctor. Doc Saw handled our emergencies when a trip to the hospital would raise too many questions.
“Yes,” he said when he answered the phone.
“Doc, this is Kade. I’m with the Black Hearts—” I started, but he cut me off.
“I know who you are. Don’t say anymore. Just tell me where to meet you.”
“I’m at home.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said and hung up.
I looked down at Elise and wondered if she would make it ten minutes. I didn’t know much about CPR, but I thought I’d remembered hearing someone say not to do it if the person was still breathing or there was a pulse.
That thought pissed me off. I was helpless until Doc Saw got there.
“Elise,” I said and shook her again.
When she didn’t respond, I stood up and started pacing. I balled my hands into fists and bit my knuckles. I’d hoped the pain would center me.
I needed to go upstairs and wait for the doc, but I didn’t want to leave her alone on the bathroom floor. So, I picked her up and carried Elise upstairs to my lounge.
After putting her down on the red leather sofa that sat in front of my fireplace, I found the remote and switched it on. By that time, Elise had begun to shiver. Normally, I’d ask Gabriella for blankets, but she was already gone for the day.
I tried to think of where they would be. There was a big closet in the laundry room, so I looked there. Fortunately, Gabriella kept a stash of extra towels, sheets, and blankets there. I grabbed a few blankets and a spare pillow.
Out in the living room, Elise had curled up into the fetal position on the sofa. She’d curled around herself and begun to take little gulping breaths. I covered her with the blankets, but I couldn’t get her to uncurl. After trying—and failing—to put the pillow under her head, I ended up just setting it above her on the sofa.
“Come on, Doc,” I whispered.
Right on cue, the security alert let me know there was someone at the gate. I rushed to the monitor and punched in the code to allow the doc in. I immediately recognized his vehicle. The black Mercedes rolled up my driveway, and I watched as he got out of the car and hurried up the sidewalk.
“What’s going on?” Doc Saw asked as I closed the front door behind him. “You look fine and healthy.”
“You’re not here to patch up gunshot wounds this time, Doc. I’ve got a girl over there on the sofa that could use your help.”
I pointed at Elise, and the doctor walked over to where she was still curled up in a ball. He grabbed the blankets covering her frail body and yanked them down.
Doc Saw pulled the stethoscope from around his neck and checked Elise’s pulse and then listened to her heart and lungs. I watched as he pulled each of her eyelids up and flashed a light over her eyes. When he was done with that, he drew a digital thermometer out of his bag and ran the sensor over her forehead.
“Well, I don’t believe she’s sick. I’m going to say it’s drug withdrawals. Any ideas what she was on?”
“No. I believe she said something about heroin, but because of where she came from, there’s no way to know if that’s accurate. It could be heroin or one of many other things.”
“Well, we’ve got some options here. Your first is to get her to a hospital, but I’m guessing if you wanted to do that, you wouldn’t have called me. You can let me run some blood tests. I have a private lab that can get results within hours. I prize them for their discretion, should you choose to take that route. Or you can give her something for the withdrawals.”
“How confident are you that this is drug withdrawal and nothing more?” I asked.
“I’d bet my practice on it,” he said, with an ironic chuckle. “You said she was taking heroin. This is almost a textbook case of severe heroin withdrawal. You wouldn’t happen to know how much she was taking or for how long?”
“She’d only been at her former… residence for a few weeks, as far as I know.”
“Who owned her before you?” Doc Saw asked, matter-of-factly. I just looked at him, slack-jawed, for a moment. That cat was way out of the bag. “Don’t look so dumbstruck. Think about what I do for a living. It’s not like this is my first. So, who owned her before you?”
“I’m not sure…”
I nodded my head yes.
“Okay, then. She’s probably not a long-term user, but it doesn’t take long to get hooked on that shit. Normally, withdrawals from heroin wouldn’t be this bad for a short-term abuser, but I’m guessing it’s made worse by the malnutrition. She might also have an underlying viral illness.”
“Like AIDS?” I felt my stomach clench.
“No, nothing like that, Kade. Bruno has his girls tested before he puts them up for sale. I mean like a cold that’s affecting her more because of the starvation.”
“What do we do?”
“Well, you can’t let her go through withdrawals cold turkey when her body is this weak. I’m assuming you don’t want her to continue being a heroin addict, so I’ll give you a prescription for something to help keep her alive. It’s known as medical detox. I can also hook her up to some IV nutrition and fluids. You’ll just pull the IV out and throw it away when the bags are empty. What do you think?”
I didn’t know what to think. I wanted Elise off drugs, and it seemed counterintuitive to keep giving her more drugs. But the doc said she might die without them. I was 100 percent on board with giving her the IVs. I’d prefer she ate on her own, but if she wouldn’t, then the doc could fix her up until she had her strength back. Maybe then she’d remember who she was and be a little more agreeable.
The only decision was whether to do the medical detox. “Sure. Do it all. I don’t want her to die.”
The doc set to work putting in the IV and hooking up the bags of nutrients and fluids. When he tried to put the needle in, Elise attempted to fight back, but she was too weak to resist him.
“Better double tape that,” I suggested.
“Yeah, she’s a fighter for sure. That’s good.”
The doctor left a bottle of pills for Elise and instructions on how to use them. He also showed me, as best he could, how to pull the IV out when the bags were empty. It didn’t look that difficult.
When he was gone, I sat on the floor next to Elise and watched her sleep. The first dose of the drugs to help with the withdrawals had gone directly into her IV. It had immediately helped her relax, and she stopped fighting the IV. She also uncurled from the fetal position, and I was able to put a pillow under her head before I covered her body with the blankets again.
She looked angelic while she slept. Her face was relaxed, and you almost couldn’t tell how pale and gaunt she’d become. I imagined that while Elise was out cold like that, the weight of her world disappeared.
I didn’t know why I cared about that or why I wanted her so badly. She was a danger to me now that someone else knew I had her. Gabriella was loyal, but would Doc Saw really keep my secret? I had no idea what I was going to do with Elise. I believed the doc when he said she was a fighter. That meant she’d be hard to contain once she got her spirit back. I liked that idea. I wanted to break her, so I figured I’d keep her for the time being.
She’d be such a sweet doll once she learned to behave. I swept a lock of her golden hair away from her face, and I could swear a bit of a smile played across her lips.
“That’s my good girl,” I whispered and kissed her temple.
Chapter Ten
Elise
That feeling of panic you get when you wake up in a strange place, it never goes away, no matter how many unfamiliar places you wake up in. Terror gripped me as my eyes fluttered open and I took in the sensation of a new mattress underneath me.
No, not a mattress. At least, it wasn’t just a mattress. I could feel silky sheets and smell clean linens. The pillow under my head was perfectly molded to me, and for the first time in years, I woke up without a crick in my neck. I was in a bed. A real bed. A really nice bed.
The top half of my body shot straight up like I was a hinge. I felt around the bed for whoever I shared the space with, but I was alone. It was very dark.
Those two things seemed incongruous. I was alone in a place so pitch-black that it could be a dungeon, but I was in a nice bed too.
That’s when it came back to me. I’d seen a nice bed in the basement room of the man who’d taken me from Bruno. I racked my brain trying to remember if I’d seen a light switch.
I swung my legs off the side of the bed, and it occurred to me that I wasn’t tied or chained up. He’d just put me in a bed to sleep. Sure, I was probably locked in his basement, but it wasn’t a cage. The room was more like a fancy hotel suite.
Straight out from the bed was the door that led upstairs. I felt around the wall for a light switch and found it after a minute or so of running my hands around the doorframe.
The light came on. I really was alone. I tried the door, but as I’d suspected, it was locked. There weren’t any windows either. Not even one of those narrow ones at ground level that some basements had.
As the sleepiness wore off, I became acutely aware that, while my neck didn’t ache, the rest of my body felt like I’d been hit by a truck. My mouth was dry and tasted like sand. I remembered that I’d started going through withdrawals from heroin the last time I was awake. While what I was feeling that morning wasn’t as terrible, it was still pretty fucking horrible, and I knew it would get worse.
He must have given me some kind of fix, but it was wearing off. I needed the man to come downstairs and give me more. I’d have to pound on the basement door to get his attention, but first I needed to get that taste out of my mouth.
I made my way to the bathroom he’d locked me in the night before. The door was open, so I went in and looked in the top drawer in the vanity. Sure enough, there was a brand-new toothbrush and a tube of minty fresh toothpaste. It was good stuff, too. He’d given me an expensive name-brand toothbrush and toothpaste. I’d only ever had shit from the dollar store before.
While I couldn’t say that brushing my teeth was pleasurable, having a clean mouth was nice. I had to wonder why he’d spent his money on name-brand stuff, though. Why would he care that much?
In the cabinet behind the fake mirror, I found face wash and moisturizer that I’d once seen in a magazine. Was it really for me? I took the bottles out and turned them over in my hands. For a moment, I thought maybe it was a trick. Perhaps I was supposed to use them, and then he’d beat me with the belt for stealing. But that didn’t make sense.
Still, I washed my face and then applied some of the moisture cream. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I wanted to put it all over me, but it was such a small jar. So I opened the cabinet again and looked. Sure enough, there was a tube of the same brand of body cream.
Once I’d covered myself in it, I took a few deep breaths. Despite the withdrawals, I felt better than I had in…
Weeks…?
Months…?
Years…?
Who knew.
I put everything back and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The cream gave my skin a bit of a glow, and I could almost imagine what I’d look like healthy again.
“That’s stupid,” I hissed at myself.
The fancy things he’d bought for me meant nothing. He had a ton of money from the look at his house I got before he locked me in the basement. I’m sure the stuff he’d bought for me was a drop in the bucket for him, money wise. He’d offered to buy me from Bruno, so he had to have lots of cash. Or perhaps he’d stolen all that shit, too.
Either way, it had to be a trap. And there I was, falling into it. It was just like when I was a stupid thirteen-year-old girl falling for Daddy buying me a new dress. Eight years of living this life a
nd I’d learned nothing.
What I needed more than fancy soap and body cream was a fix. I could now understand why Lolli had behaved so well for her Oxy. The longer I went without the drugs I’d been forced to become addicted to, the more my skin itched and my muscles ached.
I went out to the bedroom and looked in the dresser. There, I found gray cotton panties and a matching bra. I put them on and then moved down to a lower drawer. The only other things in them were t-shirts, yoga pants, and a plain white cotton tank dress. I fished the dress out of the drawer and pulled it over my head.
Back at the door, I pounded on the solid wood and yelled. I wondered if he could even hear me. Until I’d been taken to Bruno’s place, I’d never seen solid wood doors. Every other place I lived had shitty fiberboard doors. You could hear everything through them, and one punch turned them to garbage.
I pounded the door again until it shook the frame. There was a sound like shoes hitting the risers of the stairs, and I pressed my ear to the door to listen.
Sure enough, I heard the lock click and I took a step back. The man came through the door and shut it behind himself. There was a pad on the inside of the door like the one outside the bathroom. I guessed that operated the lock. There was no hope of me getting through unless he let me.
I’d thought his face was a mask of concern when he stepped into the room, but that quickly evaporated and turned into annoyance. I took another step back.
“What are you banging about?”
“I know you gave me something. It took the edge off. I need more.”
“It’s not time,” he said. “You’ll get your pill when it’s time.”
“What?”
“My doctor came to visit you last night. He gave you IV fluids and something to help you medically detox. You get the pills on a schedule. I’ll bring the next one down with your food. You eat the food, you get the pill.”
I instinctively reached for the crook of my arm and ran my hand over the spot where the IV had gone in. No wonder I was stronger. I wouldn’t eat so his doctor gave me shit through an IV.
