by Jess Bowen
She hadn’t thought about that. She was so focused on her anger and how bad it made her feel that she hadn’t stopped to consider how strong her other emotions were. Yes, her anger was strong, as was her hate, but on the other hand, her love was just as powerful when she focused on that instead. Wasn’t it always Dorian who brought her out of her intense anger? Couldn’t he distract her from anything? Now that her elixir was working, she couldn’t say that it only his powerful love she was feeling—it was also hers. Her love for him balanced out her anger most of the time. Was there anything he wasn’t right about?
She was silent for a minute and Dorian laughed. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
“As always,” she sighed.
He pulled her back so she could look in his eyes. He was serious again. “I won’t let you hurt anyone. Most of all, I would never let you hurt yourself.”
Phoebe smiled. “I trust you, even though I don’t trust myself.”
He shook his head and smiled. “I guess that’s the best I can ask for. Are you ready to start heading back?”
She grimaced. “How far did I run?”
He laughed. “Are you sure you want to know?” She didn’t like the sound of that.
“Well, I’ll find out either way,” she replied.
He kissed her forehead and her heart raced. “How does thirty miles sound?”
Her jaw dropped. “Thirty?” she repeated breathlessly. “Are you sure?”
He laughed and, she was distracted again by the sound of his voice. “Yes, very sure. Although, I was thinking it was going to be longer.”
“Well, that’s comforting,” she replied sarcastically.
He let her ponder the length of thirty miles for a minute. The most she had ever run in one shot was ten. She didn’t even feel tired. Her anger had to be the catalyst for most of it.
“We should probably start moving if we want to make it back before tomorrow,” Dorian said.
“What are we doing, walking?” she asked. It would take, at the very least, half a day to walk back that far.
“Unless you have a better idea. I don’t really feel like running that far again.”
Dorian was stronger than anyone she knew, but she was sure thirty miles of running would be wearing on his energy. Although, he didn’t really look tired. Maybe he had another reason for not wanting to run. Either way, she wasn’t walking.
“I do have a better idea,” she said. “Just give me a minute.”
Dorian looked at her questioningly but nodded. Phoebe closed her eyes. This was a long distance, but she was sure she could do it. Her mind traveled at lightning speed back to the Haven. A few days ago they had been introduced to Cory, who was brought in to try to coax Lucy’s Speed to its full potential. She had to search minds for a few minutes, but she found him. She found his talent. He could run sixty miles an hour at his fastest. Impressive. Phoebe channeled it back to her body as her mind returned there. She turned to Dorian and channeled the talent into him.
She smiled at him. He had no idea what was going on. It was difficult to hold from this far of a distance, but she wouldn’t have to do it for long. A half an hour max.
“I’ll race you,” she said and she took off.
Phoebe was out of Dorian’s sight in less than a second. It took him a second longer to catch on and start running. It was amazing to run so fast. Everything should have been a blur, but with her perfect vision, Phoebe could see every stone flying by them. She could just barely hear the sounds of the Haven when she quit channeling and she and Dorian slowed to a walk. They still had about four miles to go, but she wasn’t ready to face everyone yet. Not to mention, channeling was starting to take a toll on her energy.
Dorian wrapped his arm around her waist once they had slowed down. “I didn’t know you could reach that far,” he commented.
“I didn’t either. Cassius has never asked me to try at that distance,” Phoebe replied.
Dorian was quiet for a minute. “Maybe…” he said.
“Maybe, what?” she asked.
“Maybe you could do some surveillance for us, around the Haven as far as you could reach. We wouldn’t have to send scouts out as much.”
“Yes,” she replied immediately. She didn’t even need to think about it. Here was something she could do that might help, and no one would need to risk their lives. She might even be able to search out people in hiding. She felt a hundred times lighter as they continued to walk.
“That will ease Hector’s mind. He wanted to go back out and scout the mountains around us,” Dorian said.
Apparently Dorian would allow her to do something that wouldn’t harm her in any way. She knew he was protective because he was scared for her, but she was also glad that he wasn’t so overprotective that he wanted to keep her locked in a room, far from any danger. However, she was reminded of something else from earlier that day and she frowned.
Dorian saw it, of course. “Hector wouldn’t have gone anyway. I need him here for training. I considered having one of the elves join him for training so I could go out myself, but I don’t want to leave you here.”
That hadn’t been why Phoebe was frowning, but she was distracted, again. Although this time it was for a different reason. “You go out there?”
“Yes. Well, I used to, before you came back.”
She wasn’t sure why that hadn’t occurred to her before. “So you know what it looks like? You know what it’s really like?”
He frowned and stopped walking. “Yes, but I…”
“Show me,” she commanded, cutting him off.
He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Dorian, you have to show me. I have to know.”
“Phoebe, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You got so angry just hearing about it.”
She grabbed his arms. She knew this was one of the things he kept hidden from her. “I can’t just keep having it thrown at me a little at a time. I need to know. It will make it easier for me to hear about it.”
He sighed. “Phoebe, you have no idea…”
“No, I don’t have any idea. That’s why I need to know. Every time I think it can’t get any worse, and then it does. If I know everything, it will be easier. Please.”
“I guess it’s best if I show you here, just in case,” Dorian said in resignation.
He knew she was right. It would make it easier if it didn’t keep taking her by surprise. And it would be best to do it here, where she was away from people, in case she couldn’t control her anger again. He held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
“What do you want to see?”
“Everything.”
He closed his eyes. Phoebe wondered if he was concentrating. He had never needed to do that before. She broke through the protective barrier of her mind and went straight to him. He had his eyes closed because he didn’t want to see her reaction.
“Dorian, I need you to watch me. You’re going to have to know when to stop.” She heard her words through his ears.
Whatever you see, whatever you feel, remember that I love you, he thought before he opened his eyes.
She didn’t need to remember. She could feel it, more strongly than when he usually let it go.
“I’m ready,” she whispered quietly.
There was a strong emotion trying to break free of its cage, but Dorian managed to force it back and let another wall down. Phoebe was sucked into his memories.
Fires are burning; charred figures are running and screaming; thick smoke hangs in the air, making the sky almost black. The reddish orange orb that is the sun hangs in the sky. It casts no light on the ground. It is just a presence in the sky, only still there because Petrozan can’t figure out how to get rid of it completely. I walk through the land, invisible, as I try to guide these charred figures to safety. I can hardly breathe; the smoke is so heavy. I can hear the army marching, not far away. The liquid metal soldiers’ footsteps are almost silent. They must be close
if I can hear them this well. I am only a half-mile from the village. I have to get there. If I’m fast enough, I’ll be able to get them out and to safety.
The footsteps move closer, and I start running. They won’t hear me. They have no ears; only their orders guide them. If Mari were here, I would be able to move so much faster. I could save so many. My hand instinctively rises to my scar; it reminds me why I’m here, why I’m still fighting, even when I have nothing left. Everything has been taken away from me, and yet I still live; my companion, my family, my…no, I have to focus.
I can hear the frantic cries of the people in the village. Only a little farther. I can see the smoke rising. Their homes are already on fire. They had no warning. How many will die? How many will I be able to get out alive? I can already hear the screaming of those being burned alive.
I burst into the village. It’s worse than I feared. At least half the homes are already on fire. Zuriel stands in the middle of the clearing as soldiers drag people out and force them to their knees in front of him. I’m too late, even invisible. There’s nothing I can do. Children are sobbing. One soldier beats each of them into silence. A baby cries. It’s ripped from its mother’s arms and examined for a minute. A Sensor determines the baby’s has no unique power. It doesn’t live to take even one more breath. The mother screams out in agony but is quickly silenced.
If my stomach contained any food at all, I would not be able to hold it any more. There are only twelve soldiers here. I wait to make sure there are no more. I can handle that many. I can hear the screams of those they left to burn, but there are still people who could be saved. The soldiers finish collecting anyone of value to Petrozan as they wait for the rest of the army. The rest of the homes are set on fire.
I make my move as the soldiers gather together in a group. I could put out the fires, but it’s best to let those trapped inside die quickly. To prolong their suffering would be far worse. We wouldn’t be able to make it back to the Haven before they would die a much more painful and prolonged death. My shield goes up, blocking Zuriel and the soldiers from the people huddled in front of them. They look around, searching for the source of the power as they brace themselves for a fight. I won’t be able to take them all down if it comes to that. Zuriel immediately cloaks himself. I have no doubt he will retreat immediately.
I should have acted faster. If I could have taken out Zuriel, it would have been a huge blow to Petrozan. I freeze, and then explode, the twelve metallic soldiers that are standing guard. Even with the immediate threat gone, I don’t become visible. Zuriel is surely still watching. He will know it’s me here now, but he doesn’t know where I am. I quickly gather everyone together. Less than forty. I move through the huddled group. They are too scared to even move. I connect their hands and freeze their locked hands in place. I take the hand of a small girl, and the entire group becomes invisible.
“I can help you if you will follow me,” I whisper.
They obey without a second thought; they will follow anyone who is offering them life. Or even death. Death would be better than being forced into Petrozan’s army.
We only have two miles to go to be within Cassius’s protection. We make it out alive.
Memory after memory passed by. Each one was different but essentially the same: people dying, Dorian trying to save those that he could, the thick black smoke rising, the fires constantly burning. The only difference was how the people died. The Shamarian, the grilocks, each dark creature devoured these people in its own way. Then it stopped.
It took Phoebe a minute to understand why the memories faded. Dorian was very upset. Her body was bent over, and she could hear her ragged breathing. She retreated back to her body and realized why. Another wave of nausea hit, and she threw up again. She felt hollow and realized her stomach had nothing left. She pooled water in her cupped hands and washed her mouth out before going ahead a few yards and leaning against a wall.
Her breath was still heavy, and Dorian supported most of her weight. She slid down to the floor, and he sat down beside her. She was surprised that she felt so in control of her anger. She was too much in shock about how brutal the images were that she hadn’t gotten around to feeling angry yet. She was shaking. After a minute, she collapsed into Dorian’s chest, and tears coursed down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was too much. I never should have let you see all that,” he murmured as he rubbed circles in her back.
Phoebe shook her head. “No, I need to know. I just never imagined it was that…” She trailed off. That what? Bad? Horrible? Sickening? There was no word to describe it. Even Dorian had no word to supply. He had lost so much; he had faced so much death.
Hopeless. That word fit. How did anyone fight against something so evil? How could anyone ever hope to see things differently? In that moment, Phoebe lost her hope.
Dorian had said he still had hope. Was she strong enough to find hers again?
27. Impressed
They sat there for a long time. Images played over and over again in Phoebe’s mind. Dorian said nothing as he waited for her to process what he had shown her. It was nothing more than what she had imagined, but imagining it and seeing it were two different things. She knew that the things Dorian had shown her were real, and she would never forget them. After a while she stopped shaking and felt limp as she slipped into unconsciousness.
She knew that even sleep wouldn’t take away the memories, so she left her own mind and settled into Dorian’s, where she could feel his love for her. She slipped into a peaceful slumber, lost in his emotions.
Phoebe felt extremely disoriented when she woke up. She was looking at herself, and that startled her before she remembered that she was looking through Dorian’s eyes. She left his mind and found that hers felt oddly peaceful. Sleep had given her time to come to terms with Dorian’s memories. She didn’t feel any better about them, but she knew that the only person to blame was Petrozan, and her determination to give training every ounce of energy she had was stronger than it had ever been before. Dorian held her close to his chest. He was humming.
Phoebe opened her eyes, and he smiled. “I was getting worried,” he said.
It was hard not to notice that there were only inches between his lips and hers.
“How long was I asleep?” she asked, noticing that they were in his room instead of the dark tunnel.
“Fifteen hours.”
“I’m getting good at these marathon things,” she said lightly.
He chuckled. “Yes, although both of those marathon things were good. You found a way to deal with your anger, and you came to terms with the world outside these walls.” He was more serious by the time he finished speaking.
She winced. “How do you know all that? Did I talk in my sleep or something?” she asked, half-jokingly, though his confirming nod somewhat surprised her. Her mother had told her she talked in her sleep once, but she had always figured it was a one-time deal.
“Yes, but I’m glad you did. It saved me a lot of agonizing over how you were doing.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I never should have done that. Although, you did handle it better than I expected.”
“And by that you mean: at least I didn’t try to blast you into oblivion and take off running for a hundred or so miles?”
He laughed, and it reached all the way to his eyes as he traced the side of her face from her temple to her chin. “Something like that,” he replied.
She shifted her head to the left to glance out the window, and a sharp pain shot through her temple. She automatically winced and grabbed her forehead. “Ouch,” she muttered.
“What’s wrong?” Dorian’s smile vanished and concern replaced it.
“Nothing, just a headache, I think,” Phoebe said as she rubbed where she’d felt the pain hit.
Dorian’s hand settled on her forehead like he was checking for a fever. The cooler temperature of his hand helped ease the pain, and she held his hand there. “Why is your skin col
der than normal?” she asked as she closed her eyes.
It wasn’t bright, there were only a few candles lit, but it felt better to have her eyes closed.
“What do you mean colder than normal? You mean colder than yours?” he asked.
“My skin isn’t cold!” she said.
Dorian chuckled softly. The sound of his voice pushed the pain back some more. “It might not be as cold as mine, but your skin is cold. Didn’t you notice that Ethan’s is a lot warmer than yours?”
“What are you talking about?” Phoebe asked.
She was completely confused. She knew Ethan’s skin was warmer and Dorian’s skin was colder, but hers was normal. She never felt too cold or too hot.
“What are you talking about?” he replied.
“I am talking about the fact that my skin is a normal temperature and yours and everyone else’s are off.”
“And by normal you mean…”
“Ninety-eight point six degrees.”
He laughed. “Is that a Non-Magic thing?”
“Well, that’s what my temperature’s always been.”
“Phoebe, it doesn’t work the same way here.”
She opened her eyes and searched out his. The pain of her headache was nearly gone, so she transferred his hand from her forehead to her cheek. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, temperature is dependent upon what Element you control. So Wind is the coldest. We run about eighty-eight, eighty-nine degrees. Water Element is between ninety and ninety-two. Earth Element is third and starts at a toasty ninety-seven and can go to ninety nine. Fire Element is hottest, with temperature ranging from one hundred five to one hundred ten. And, just like everything else, our temperature adjusts when our powers are in use. For instance, if you were using a lot of ice, then your temperature would drop. Cynthia’s temperature skyrockets when she uses her Fire power.”
Phoebe’s headache was forgotten, and she felt a little dense for not knowing that. She could read thoughts, emotions, and memories, yet something that was common knowledge had escaped her notice.
