by Jess Bowen
Ethan leaned down and kissed her lips softly. She hungrily pressed her mouth deeper, and a fire ignited in the pit of his stomach and spread through his entire body. He barely even noticed her weight as he pulled her up and pressed her closer to his body. Her arms slid up around his neck, and she firmly locked them there.
Nothing mattered. Nothing but the curve of her body as it pressed against his and the smell of her hair and skin as it switched on pleasure sensors in his brain. His hand pressed against the soft, bare skin of her back, and she shivered and melted entirely into his arms. If he hadn’t numbly realized that one of them needed to maintain their balance, his knees would have given out as the fire reached them.
They had kissed, many times, but this was different. This kiss, rather than showing affection, was satisfying a need, pouring into an empty space that needed filling. The empty space couldn’t be filled by love alone, but needed to be filled by pure, raw desire.
A jolt shot through Ethan, and he roughly pressed his lips to hers over and over as he waited for the fire inside of him to be satisfied. Lucy’s hands tangled in his hair—it had grown out several inches from its short style since he had arrived—as she pulled herself closer. The fire didn’t die. It grew stronger. The more he kissed her and the closer he pulled her, the hotter the fire became. He moved from her mouth to the side of her neck, and his lips brushed the hollow of her neck. She shuddered and moaned softly.
The fire intensified and pushed him to do more, to take what was rightfully his. He needed her more than ever, but at the same time he knew he had to stop. With what felt like superhuman effort, he lifted his lips back to hers, kissed her softly one last time, and let her go. His heart raced; he breathed heavily, and he felt extremely dizzy.
Lucy’s eyes were bright, and her chest heaved with her deep breaths. She held her hands out to her sides, as if she needed them for balance. Ethan took her hand and steadied her, and she leaned against his side as she caught her breath.
“Are you okay?” he asked after minute passed.
She hadn’t said anything and Ethan had no idea what was going on in her thoughts. They were a blur as they sped by too quickly for him to catch. She nodded slowly and turned to look up at him. He couldn’t help but smile. Her mouth was half-hanging open like she was in shock about something and she didn’t quite know what to do about it.
He knew he was still reeling from the kiss, and it was also kind of nice to know that he had made that big of an impression on her. If everyone could get that kind of look every so often, then the world would be a much better place.
“Yes, I think so,” she finally answered, her voice shaking a little.
Ethan frowned and began to wonder if perhaps he had gone too far. If that was the case, then it was an exceptionally good thing that he had been able to stop himself when he had.
“Are you sure? You look a little dizzy. Why don’t you sit down?” He motioned to the bench that was a few feet up the hall, but she shook her head.
“I’m all right. I just…that was really…I didn’t…wow.”
It was the first time that Ethan had ever heard Lucy trip over words. Somewhere inside him, his ego purred, and he felt like slapping it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you like that. It won’t happen again.” Even as he said it, he felt himself cringe. It felt like heaven and earth had moved in the course of three and a half seconds. Just standing next to her right now caused him to use every ounce of self-control he had to not pull her back and kiss her again.
The wildflower scent of her hair was driving him crazy, and the moonlight dancing off her skin made it glow and beg to be touched.
Lucy smiled up at him. “Maybe you need to sit down.”
How could he not remember that she could hear what he was thinking? Although, it wasn’t like he could always control what thoughts came in and out of his head, especially when she looked so beautiful, with her hair flowing down her back and the cream color of her skin and dress that matched almost perfectly in the moonlight. The color and the way the fabric hugged her body almost made her look like she was wearing absolutely…
Ethan sharply turned his eyes away from her and gazed out the window instead, trying to occupy his thoughts with something that would calm the fire still coursing through his veins, not cause it to spread faster. Lucy giggled. For the first time since this connection had been formed between them, he wished more than anything that it would close.
It’s okay, Ethan. You didn’t do anything wrong. Lucy’s thoughts were amused, awed, and still burning with pleasure. That didn’t help anything.
He tried to compose himself, but it didn’t really matter anyway. She had already heard everything. “I shouldn’t have lost control like that,” he muttered lamely. He really shouldn’t have, but he didn’t regret it either.
Trying to apologize for something he didn’t regret was incredibly difficult. And he hadn’t done anything wrong. Technically. Yes, he had kissed her far more passionately than he ever had before, but there was nothing wrong with that. He had, on the other hand, had more than a few indecent thoughts and feelings, but it wasn’t like he had any control over what Lucy could and couldn’t hear. It was too hard to think with her standing so close and still looking every bit as beautiful as she was.
Lucy’s fingers traveled up his back and rested on his shoulder. She made him turn to look at her. She gazed deep into his eyes and smiled. Every nerve in his body was screaming at him to reach forward and touch her skin and run his fingers through her hair. He tried very hard to ignore them. Really, he did.
He wasn’t even sure what Lucy did that made him abandon any pretext of self-control. All he knew was that one second she was standing at least two feet away from him and the next she was pressed firmly against his chest while his lips again moved roughly with hers and heat slammed through every part of his body.
She didn’t fight him at all.
“Umm, guys?” Lucy and Ethan both froze at the same moment.
It took Ethan a minute to remember that they were still in the hallway. He ground his teeth together to prevent himself from lashing out at Cynthia as she stood there with a slightly shocked and partially disgusted look on her face.
“Yes?” Lucy asked as if Cynthia had walked in on nothing more embarrassing than the two of them playing cards.
“Well, I just thought you might want to change before we go. It’s been almost twenty minutes.” Cynthia raised her eyebrow at them, and Ethan suddenly realized that he should probably let go of Lucy.
He had both his hands pressed against her back, and she had one of her legs wrapped around his waist. He let go of Lucy, and she slid back to the ground where she hastily smoothed out her dress and followed Cynthia into their room.
Good thing it was only Cynthia. I can only imagine what Evan would say. He wouldn’t leave us alone for weeks! I better ask Cynthia not to say anything, or it won’t make a difference. I can’t breathe! Wow. Just wow. Ethan is entirely too perfect. With those muscles that bulge out everywhere, and he’s so strong. I can barely remember anything; it was so hot and so…wonderful. Wonderful? That’s the best I can do? Why did Cynthia have to interrupt us? Why? Just a few more minutes and his shirt might have come off. A shiver ran down Lucy’s spine. Oh no, no, no, he can hear me! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Okay, focus. Phoebe needs us. How could I have forgotten about her? Oh, right, it’s hard to remember anything when I’m wrapped up in his arms, and the way he kissed me, like he wanted me more than air…she sighed…stop, stop, stop. Phoebe.
Ethan smiled to himself. Just knowing that she could hardly think straight was putting a spring in his step. That spring was quickly dampened by the thought of Phoebe. He had almost forgotten too. Then a thousand realizations hit him at once as he walked back into his room, barely noticed that Evan didn’t have one sarcastic or suggestive comment to throw at him, and changed his clothes.
Ethan had never kissed Lucy like that because he had neve
r needed that reassurance that she would be there no matter what. The whole incident with Dorian had made him realize that one can never really be sure of anything except that everything could change in a matter of seconds. In that moment, he knew that Lucy needed to know, beyond the tiniest shadow of a doubt, that he loved her, that he wanted her, and that he couldn’t live without her.
Ethan and Lucy had the added advantage of hearing each other’s thoughts for reassurance, but so did Phoebe. She had never once questioned Dorian’s thoughts or feelings, and it looked like she may have been wrong.
Ethan paused in the middle of pulling off his shirt and putting on a different one. Lucy was exactly right. It didn’t make sense at all. Something was definitely wrong. The way Dorian looked at her and protected her, even when she didn’t realize it; there was no way that had all been an act. The way he watched over her was something that couldn’t be replicated by even the most skilled actors. He did love her—Ethan had no doubt about that—but he didn’t know what was going on with Kali.
32. Empty
Phoebe swam aimlessly through the water for a while. Syran didn’t bother her; he settled into an area of the lake a short distance away from her and watched. Near the bottom, she found two tunnels. Syran’s knowledge told her that one of these tunnels went to the ocean and another connected with the Sanctuary. There was a small ledge jutting out, and she lay across it.
Being a mermaid was easier. Mermaids didn’t love, so they didn’t suffer pain at the loss of it. Phoebe could take on not only the shape of anything, but also its characteristics. The pain wasn’t completely gone, but it was dulled.
It allowed her to look at the situation objectively. She wasn’t sure how it had happened. She was always with Dorian, especially recently. Was it possible that in fifteen minutes, Dorian had overcome his anger with her—enough that he fell in love with her and forgot about Phoebe? But she knew he loved her. Then again, he was very good at hiding things. Perhaps he was just as gifted at deceiving. Maybe all that time he had really been feeling that love for Kali and he had just fooled Phoebe into thinking he felt that way about her. That was completely absurd.
Each scenario Phoebe came up with sounded less likely than the last. She couldn’t make sense of it. She could check—one quick trip into each of their minds would give her all the answers she needed. If Dorian was done with the façade, there would be no need to block her anymore, and she could see everything.
The real question was, could Phoebe endure the pain of the answers she found? No. Even as a mermaid that pain would be more than she could stand. As it was, a hundred knives tore at her chest with every thought of Dorian. Burning anger consumed her at every thought of Kali. And love tried to fill the gaps and holes inside her at every thought of her friends. No. Her family. Only family would care so much. Only family would still stand beside her after everything.
Her family—she’d abandoned them. And now, more than ever, she needed them.
Phoebe sighed a breath of water and prepared herself for the pain that would come when she changed back. She left her comfortable ledge and swam back up through the water. She admired her freezing job before she removed it. She had frozen a mile-wide lake down thirty feet in less than a second. The water unfroze just as quickly as she rose to the surface. She could see someone sitting against a tree on the edge of the lake.
The person was positioned perfectly in shadows so that even Phoebe’s sharp eyes couldn’t make out who it was. If it was Dorian she would dive back down before he could even blink his eyes. She swam forward slowly as she watched the shrouded figure closely. She was ten feet from the bank when it moved.
“Don’t worry; it’s only me.” The familiar deep, husky voice relaxed her.
Hector lifted his head from the tree and opened his eyes. He was sitting on a soft bed of moss that was completely covered with snow.
“Are you coming out or not?” He gave Phoebe a sympathetic smile.
She frowned. “Do I have to?”
He stood up and then knelt down at the edge of the lake. “You can’t hide from it forever.”
“I can try.” She didn’t want to face it. She didn’t want to feel it.
Hector held out his hand. “Come on.”
She swam forward reluctantly and took his hand so he could pull her up onto the bank. She started at him blankly.
“Phoebe,” he chastised her.
Phoebe sighed, closed her eyes, and shifted back to her human body and all the burdens that came with it. The scales disappeared, and her dress reappeared. Immediately, the ache in her chest multiplied immeasurably. She knew she should’ve been angry, but she could find no place left in her body for anger. Only pain.
Phoebe curled into a ball, thinking that compacting her body would force it back together. The serene look on Dorian’s face as he had twirled Kali’s hair flashed before her eyes. Tears finally broke free of their barriers, and noisy sobs escaped as she started shaking.
A solid arm slid under her shoulders and another under her knees as Hector picked her up. He started walking, and before she knew it she was curled up at the end of a couch as her tears faded. She was exhausted, and her eyes burned. The pain in her chest was still very present, but she had no more tears left to cry. And, no more reason… Crying wouldn’t bring him back.
Sapphire rested on the couch with her head in Phoebe’s lap. Phoebe wiped her eyes and sat up to examine her surroundings. For one horrifying minute she thought she was in Dorian’s room until she spotted Hector sitting at the edge of the couch. Comprehension dawned on her as she looked around again. This was Hector’s room, but it very much resembled Dorian’s. She glanced back at Hector.
“What time is it?” Her voice was rough and hoarse.
“About one in the morning.”
She had been crying for nearly five hours. “Where is everyone?” There was no inflection in her voice at all.
“They were here for a while, until you told them to go get some sleep.”
Phoebe couldn’t remember seeing anyone, let alone being composed enough to speak.
Hector watched her closely, but she was appreciative that he had, so far, refrained from asking if she was okay or how she felt. Even in the short years of her life, she knew those were the two worst things to ask someone who was upset. Those words always caused reflection that would tear open the bleeding wounds again. Instead, Hector let her direct the conversation, if there was to be any.
She didn’t really feel like talking, but she needed information. “What happened at the ball?”
Hector analyzed her expression for a minute before he answered. “Cassius took care of everything, and everyone went back to their lives as usual.” He had found the meaning behind Phoebe’s question and had answered competently, carefully avoiding anything that would make her upset.
She felt dried tears on her cheeks and looked down to see that her dress was crumpled. She glanced back up at Hector, and he pointed to a pile of fabric on the table.
“Lucy brought clothes up for you,” he said.
Phoebe nodded and assessed her ability to get up from the couch. Loosening out of her tight ball hurt; her muscles had been contracted for so long that they were cramped and sore. After a minute, she managed to unfold, but she was exposed and totally alone.
She felt cold.
Phoebe pulled the clothes off of the table and stood up. Sapphire lifted her head, but stayed in place while Phoebe double and triple checked every movement that she made. The loss of something that she had been so sure of caused her to question everything. Hector said nothing as he watched her. Nor did he hover and offer help, which would surely have irritated her.
She found the bathroom door and let herself inside, triple checking the latch behind her to make sure it was secure before she turned to evaluate herself in the mirror. She looked awful: her hair was a frazzled mess, makeup and tear tracks were splotched all over her face, her eyes were red and swollen, and her dress was rumpled and
wrinkled.
Phoebe leaned down and untied the many twists of her shoes to take them off, then she shuffled through the pile of fabric until she found a thick pair of socks to wear and slid them on. She pulled a cloth off of the counter and washed her face with cold water, which brought down the swelling and redness of her face. The removal of the dried tears and makeup revealed pale skin. There was a brush on the counter, and she pulled it through her hair several times until all the tangles were combed out, and then gathered it into a loose ponytail. She quickly brushed her teeth and then re-hydrated her body. Lastly, she pulled off her dress and put on the shirt, warm sweatshirt, and thick, comfortable pants.
She looked down at the crumpled pile of fabric and the lifeless ribbons of her shoes, unsure of what to do with them. She had no motivation at all to bend down and pick them up. So she left it all there.
Phoebe exited the bathroom and slowly made her way back to the corner of the couch. Sapphire nudged her cheek before placing her head back in Phoebe’s lap. She wanted to curl back up into her protective ball, but the feeling of exposure and aloneness suited her. That’s how he had left her. Why pretend otherwise?
Hector still said nothing. He didn’t try to express pity or anger, nor did he try to make small talk. He just watched.
“Would you like me to leave so you can sleep?” Phoebe knew she wouldn’t sleep. Her pain would not leave her be long enough for that.
Hector shrugged. “Only if you want to. If I was tired, I would be sleeping.”
She looked over his face. There were no shadows there; his eyes were wide and alert. He showed no signs of sleepiness; then again, as she reminded herself, he could change his appearance. She decided to trust what he said. She didn’t want to leave. She shuddered at the thought of accidentally coming across either of the people who had broken her. Now that her pain had been cried out, she could feel a small flame of anger flaring. She knew she wouldn’t be able to control herself if she were to come across either one of them.
