by Desiree Holt
She’d made reservations at a place known for good food but way out of the mainstream, where Jake would not likely run into people he didn’t want to see.
“I hope you don’t mind doing this at such an out of the way restaurant,” Jake said after he crutched his way to the table where Shay and Joe were waiting.
“Not at all,” Shay told him. “It’s kind of nice for us, too. It’s a change to be somewhere that everyone doesn’t immediately recognize Joe.”
“Of course it is,” Erin agreed.
Without making an obvious fuss about it, she inched Jake’s chair away from the table, quietly took his crutches, and stood by while he eased himself into the seat. Erin leaned the crutches against the wall near them, seated herself, and smiled at everyone.
“Joe, it’s nice to see you again. And Shay, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She held out a hand. “Erin Bass.”
“Pleasure here too,” the other woman said.
They ordered drinks and set aside the menus while they chatted. Erin found the Reillys extremely comfortable to be with. She’d looked Joe up on Google after his first visit to the house and was somewhat stunned at what she found. He’d been a typical jock as far as she was concerned, no less than she’d expected. A playboy. A skirt chaser. He took full advantage of all the non-financial benefits his position as a star quarterback presented him with. But apparently when an injury had forced him to retire, he’d cleaned up his act, gotten a plum job with Fox Sports, and spent his free time raising money for scholarships and conducting clinics for coaches on teaching responsibility to athletes.
He’d gotten married last year to Shay Beckham, sister of the man who’d been his best friend since childhood and who had also been on the championship Coyotes team. Erin was pretty sure that was an interesting story.
She was glad to see Jake relax over dinner, enjoy a drink, indulge in some chitchat with Joe. Except for the interview at the house and the visits by DiMarco and Manchin, this was the first time he’d spent with anyone in any way related to football. She watched him carefully to make sure he wasn’t getting upset or irritated by something, but he seemed to be having a good time.
“Have you been together long?” Shay asked in a low voice.
“What?” Erin’s hand jerked and spilled some of the water she was holding. “Oh, no, that’s…I mean, we aren’t… That is, you’ve got this all wrong.”
Shay’s mouth curved in a small grin. “If you say so, but the signs are pretty clear. He’s definitely got a thing for you.”
Oh, yes. Sure. A sexual thing, but that was about it.
“We’re just, um, what I mean to say is this is just a business arrangement.”
“Uh-huh. None of my clients ever looked at me that way.” She chuckled. “Which is a good thing, because Joe would take their head off.”
“You’ve been married a year, right?” Erin sipped at her water.
Shay nodded. “That’s right. But I’ve known Joe practically all my life. In the beginning that was a drawback but we got past it.” She smiled. “We got past a lot of things.”
Erin studied her. “Your brother is a football player as is Joe, so you’ve probably been around jocks all your life. Don’t you worry about their ability to stick to one woman?”
Shay lifted an eyebrow. “I’m going to assume there’s a specific reason for that question, and I won’t ask what it is. Unless, of course, you want to tell me.” When Erin shook her head, Shay leaned back in her chair. “Well, then, what I can tell you is there are a lot of players in professional sports. Not just football. They come out of high school thinking they are God’s gift to women, the pro teams pay them a ton of money, and no one has taught them a sense of responsibility.”
Erin gave an unladylike snort. “No kidding.”
“But then there are guys like my brother, who’s an engineer, and Jake, whose mother made sure he was completely grounded.” She gave a soft laugh. “Joe had a few lessons to learn, but when he had to retire he was a quick study.”
“You guys look really happy.”
Shay looked at her husband, her gaze softening. “We sure are but enough of that. I’m sure Joe told you guys about the Facebook page I designed for the Coyotes, didn’t he?” Shay asked.
“He did.” She leaned closer to the other woman. “Don’t let on I told you, but Jake has actually visited it a few times.”
Shay’s eyes widened. “Really? Because Joe had the distinct impression Jake wanted nothing to do with it.”
“Maybe at first. But his curiosity got the better of him and he’s logged on a few times.”
“How do you know that? Did he say something?”
Erin laughed. “Lord, no. He has me doing his e-mails because, you know, he’s Mr. Antisocial right now. So when I’m on his laptop I always check his browser history.” She grinned. “Sneaky, huh?”
“I knew I liked you.”
“I figure it’s the best way to find out what he’s into, what gets his attention. He’s sure not too forthcoming.”
Shay winked. “Your secret is safe with me.”
All in all Erin considered the evening a success. The socializing seemed to do Jake some good. At least it got him out of the house and talking to someone besides her. She hoped she could urge him to do more of it. The two men told stories about the golden years in Granite Falls, and for a short while Jake seemed to forget about his injury and his uncertain future. Jake and Joe made plans for one more meeting before the big night in Granite Falls. The men shook hands.
Shay gave Erin a hug, then pulled a business card out of her purse and wrote something on the back of it. Then she handed it to Erin. “Here. The number on the front is my business cell, the one on the back is my personal one. You can always reach me at one of them.”
“Thank you, but I wouldn’t dream of bothering you,” Erin protested.
“No bother.” She leaned closer to Erin and lowered her voice. “I was in a—situation once with Joe. I wished then I’d had someone to talk to. Please feel free to call me any time.”
Shay’s words gave her a warm feeling. “Thank you.”
Jake was unusually quiet on the drive home so Erin turned on the radio, found some easy listening music, and adjusted the volume fairly low. They were close to the house when Jake finally broke his silence.
“You and Shay seemed to be getting along well.”
“Yes, we did. She’s very nice. I like her.”
“And Joe?” he asked. “What about him?”
“I met Joe before,” she reminded him.
“So you’ve had more than one chance to form an opinion. Right?”
Erin frowned. “Joe is a nice guy. Is that what you wanted to hear? I enjoyed dinner with them. So did you. Don’t deny it.”
“I’m not.”
“What’s this all about?”
“Just trying to make you see that here’s a guy who was a football jock, as you call them, who’s a really nice person. Married to a woman who obviously loves him and who he treats very well.”
Okay. She saw where this was going. And she actually had to admit he was right. That was a shocker.
“If I agree that not all jocks are assholes, is that good enough for you?” she asked.
He gave a soft laugh. “Did that hurt very much?”
“No, but what’s the point you’re trying to make? If I say you’re not so bad, will that satisfy you?”
Jake shook his head. “You’re a hard nut to crack, Erin Bass.”
“Oh, so I’m a nut now?” she teased.
“You know what I mean.” His voice was dead serious. “We’re not all serious trash. And I hope you’re getting to know me well enough that you realize who and what I am.”
She was definitely not ready for this conversation. Maybe she’d never be.
“I have come to the conclusion maybe you’re not so bad after all. But if you’re trying to convince me you’re good
for the long haul, can we keep in mind that this situation has an end date? And just enjoy it the way we are right now?”
Another long silence filled the car. Erin waited uncomfortably for Jake to say something, but they were already at the house before he spoke again.
“Enjoy it. Right.” He touched her arm. “But we won’t shut out any possibilities, right?”
“Right.” She glanced over at him. “But we’ll just take it as it goes, okay?”
He chuckled. “You’re a sly one, but watch out. I’m a sly one, too.”
“Have you looked at the Facebook page yet?” She hoped he’d admit it so she could talk to him about it.
“Yeah.” The word came out grudgingly.
“Then you should have complimented Shay on it.”
“She’d want to know if I’d post something on it. Give her a picture and info she could put on there. All that crap.”
“You should think about it.” Don’t push. Baby steps here.
She pulled into the garage, and the next few minutes were taken up with getting Jake out of the car and into the house.
“I’ll be glad when I get to finally trash these damn crutches,” he complained. “They’re nothing but a fucking pain in the ass.”
“Bitch, bitch, bitch,” she teased. “At least you’re moving around so much better. And you had a great time tonight, right?”
“Yeah.” His voice was edged with reluctance. It was obvious he was still full of self-pity. “It wasn’t so bad.”
“Come on. I saw you enjoying yourself.”
They were in his bedroom now. Erin followed him to the bed and watched as he eased himself down and leaned the crutches against the nightstand. He was moving so much better. Every day she kept her fingers crossed that the next doctor’s appointment would give positive results. So far, each time they’d gone and his leg was x-rayed through the cast, Dr. Moline had just studied the graphs, nodded his head, and said the leg was coming along. But Erin knew “coming along” meant different things to the doctor and to Jake.
“Ivy called today to ask when your next doctor’s appointment is.” She took the shirt Jake had stripped off and handed to her.
“I don’t want her to come.” His tone of voice left no wiggle room.
“She’s your sister,” Erin protested. “She’s concerned for you.”
“So concerned she tricked me into this arrangement we have—you and me—and then avoided us until she was sure we weren’t going to kill each other or her.”
“Is that why you won’t let her come to see you now? We’re past all that crappy stuff. And you keep telling me you two have only each other.”
He lifted his good leg, bent it, and pulled off his shoe. “Maybe I just don’t want to see pity in her eyes.”
“Damn it.” She fisted her hands on her hips. “Nobody pities you. Least of all Ivy. Or me.”
“You say that now, but wait until we get the final prognosis. My sister knows exactly how important football is to my life. If I get bad news, I want time to process it before I have to face her.”
Jake undid his trousers and boosted himself up on his hands so Erin could slide them off his body.
“I think you’re getting too used to this,” she teased.
“To having you undress me? You bet.” He gave a low chuckle. “Think I could hire you to do it permanently?”
She was kneeling between his legs, but she looked up at him, frowning. “Don’t joke. You know this is temporary. The minute you’ve got both legs back I’m gone.”
He cupped her chin and looked at her with eyes now darker than espresso. Again she had the impression he wanted to say something but held back. “One of these days, if I’m ever whole again, we’re going to discuss that subject at length. Not now.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “But after.”
“After what?”
“After I decide whether or not I can be any good to anyone again.” His mouth curved in a slow smile. “Meanwhile, let’s discuss more pleasant subjects. Like how fast you can get your clothes and my boxers off.”
Erin deliberately pushed errant thoughts aside and bent to the task at hand, eyes focused on the swollen bulge of Jake’s thick cock.
Chapter 14
The next weeks passed without incident. To Erin it hardly seemed possible that more than two months had passed. They’d come a long way from those early days when they circled each other like fighters in a cage. In fact, life at the house was actually and unexpectedly pleasant.
Jake required less personal assistance, physically, although he often yelled for her through the intercom, just to watch her annoyed frown when she came to find him chuckling. With the installation of the security system on steroids, they’d had no more visits from Eye Candy Mandys, although sometimes when Erin looked out the window she could see a couple of them hanging out at the gate, trying to look in.
Jake did his exercises for his wrist every day, and she continued to work his toes the way the physical therapist had shown her. Funny, she felt closer to him doing something that simple than she did when they were in bed together. As she came to understand who he really was, the walls around her heart began to slowly crumble despite her efforts to shore them up.
She kept telling herself she’d soon be gone and this would be over. But each day she found herself falling for him more and more.
She continued to take care of both his snail mail and his e-mail, writing letters and posts as he dictated them. There wasn’t that much, really. Scott Manchin handled everything that related to his endorsements and personal appearances, usually e-mailing Jake to keep him up to date, calling when he needed an immediate answer.
“Scott says the networks are still all over him about doing an interview with you.” Erin read from the latest e-mail she opened. “He said they’ll even send a crew to your house. Make it very easy for you.”
“No.” Just the one word, but it cut the air like a knife. “I told him over and over. No interviews until I know whether I even have a career anymore.”
Erin huffed a sigh and leaned back in her chair. This was an ongoing argument between them, and she was getting very frustrated.
“I wish you would tell me the reason you believe football is the only thing defining you. You have a media presence that you could use to do a lot of good.”
He looked up from a letter he was reading. “So you’re telling me that people already adore me so much, admire me, that whether or not I play they’ll fall all over me?”
She wrinkled her forehead, irritated at his phrasing. “Well, yes. Sort of. I mean—”
“Then why is it so hard for you to see that I’m different from all those guys you refer to as waste case jocks?”
He had her there. She really didn’t want to tell him about her poor judgment where Trace McKay was concerned, or how she’d discovered everything in a very public venue.
“Moving right along,” she said instead. “I’ll e-mail Scott back and tell him we’re tabling it for the moment.”
“Good idea. You want my secrets? Then you have to share yours. Otherwise we’re status quo where all that stuff is concerned.”
One of these days, maybe the last day she was here in this house, she might tell him her story. Or maybe not. But she’d definitely be gone. Because one way or another, she didn’t trust a future with him. Not that he’d really brought it up. Instead they ignored all the elephants in the room and life progressed.
She constantly battled her conflicted feelings about him. She didn’t want to care, because old habits died hard. She continued to have the feeling he wanted to say something to her, but maybe he was waiting for some kind of sign? After all, she was the one who set the rules to begin with. She just wasn’t sure what this was she felt, and she didn’t want to get burned again. What if, for example, he was a really nice guy but he didn’t want any more from her than what they had right now? And she had no idea what th
at actually was.
Drive yourself crazy much?
“Scott answered back,” she told him. “He said he’ll be here for the doctor’s appointment next week.”
“No.” Jake slammed his hand on the table. Erin gave thanks it wasn’t the one still healing.
“Jake, he’s your agent. He has a vested interest in what happens to you.”
“I don’t want him there.”
“Too bad. He says he’s coming no matter what. You’re being completely unreasonable.”
“You think so? Wait until the doc tells me I’m done. You’ll see how fast Scott flies out the door to his other clients.”
“What is with you about people leaving you when you can’t play anymore? How many times do I have to tell you football doesn’t define you? Only a part of you.”
“And how many times do I have to tell you that you are completely wrong.”
She looked up from the laptop to see him glaring at her, muscle twitching in his cheek.
“Bull. Look at Joe Reilly,” she reminded him. “Scott didn’t drop him when he had to retire. He got him a great job with Fox Sports and helps him with his philanthropy. And he still does a ton of endorsements.”
“Fine, fine, fine. Whatever.”
She heaved a sigh. “Just—please. Do us all a favor and don’t make a scene in the doctor’s office.”
As the day of the appointment approached, Jake became more tense and withdrawn and Erin worried constantly. If the news was bad, she had no idea how he’d react. Maybe if she took the first step, told him how she felt about him, she could convince him she’d be there for him no matter what.
