This was the right decision. Regardless of how hard his heart and body pushed back, he was doing what he needed to. There was too much baggage between Josh and Sydney. Too much of a past to get sucked into and bogged down by.
And you’re jealous.
He rolled his eyes at the counter argument. Jealous of what? Of Josh?
And maybe Sydney, a little. That thing they have...
So?
He enjoyed Sydney’s company and the sex. Maybe they’d fall in love, given enough time, and maybe not. But he wasn’t doing this back-and-forth thing with her and Josh. He couldn’t watch her go back to a guy who treated her badly.
You mean your best friend? The guy you’re pretty sure knows better, so you’re staying with him?
Dylan cranked the stereo, to drown out his thoughts.
If Sydney kicked Josh out after Dylan left, he wouldn’t be far behind.
Would facing him at home be worse than Josh not coming home right away? Was he still at Sydney’s?
If she thought it wasn’t possible to ignore Josh while he was living with Dylan, Dylan would prove her wrong. At least for a few days. He needed to get his head on straight.
When he got home, he headed straight to his room and locked the door.
Less than five minutes later, Josh knocked. “Do you have a minute? Do you want to talk?”
At least he didn’t stick around at Sydney’s. Dylan saw no flaws with that.
“No and no,” Dylan called. The best thing for him to do was get back to life as it was before.
He tried to read. Watch movies. Do a little studying for work. His head was too busy arguing with itself, for him to focus on anything.
He left early in the morning, but not before writing Josh a quick note. I need to process. Give me time.
Dylan’s brain countered with, You couldn’t do the same for Sydney? She’s not the one who was an asshole.
Sydney made her decision.
After you forced her hand.
He had a long day of work ahead of him. This was a bad time to fall onto an upgraded merry-go-round of mental arguing.
Dylan managed to avoid Josh most of the day, at home and at work. By lunchtime on Thursday, he was willing to admit Sydney had at least one thing right—it was almost impossible to not run into Josh while Dylan was living with him.
And now Sydney was back in his thoughts. The empty pit in his chest that he’d tried to ignore for days throbbed with longing.
It had only been a week since he met her. Why did her not being here gnaw at him so much?
Wrong question.
The right one was, Why did I walk away?
Because you’re jealous.
He needed to get his work done. Before he could second-guess himself, he had his phone out. He sent Sydney a quick text. I need to talk to you.
When she didn’t answer immediately, he dove back into the tasks he got paid for.
Dylan sifted through a stack of paperwork for one of Aaron’s cases, making notes as appropriate. He flipped past one page, and a line of text caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.
What did he just read?
He scanned the paragraph several times, but nothing about it looked out of place. Nagging tickled his thoughts, telling him to look closer. That wasn’t helpful without more information.
He moved on.
By Friday after work, he needed to crawl out of his head before he went insane. Between ignoring Josh and not hearing back from Sydney, his brain was a hazardous wasteland.
What was he going to do with his weekend? Most of the time, he’d game with Josh. Sometimes he’d hook up, but it had been a while. There was no reason to spend his time studying for the bar or for school.
Maybe he’d go out and get drunk. Get past this funk. If he and Sydney were over, there was nothing wrong with that. Hell, they’d never officially started.
Josh was gone when Dylan got home.
Dylan didn’t care where. He changed into a more casual shirt and headed out.
He was so busy, avoiding his own thoughts as he drove, he didn’t realize he was near Sydney’s apartment complex until the sign came into view.
What was he doing?
Turning into the parking lot apparently, rather than heading to the club.
Not that it mattered. Her car wasn’t here.
He continued on his original path. What would have happened if they hadn’t split? He’d have to deal with these questions eventually. If he sorted through them, could he move on?
What if Dylan and Sydney had talked past the rough spot? What if he’d watched her try to be friends with Josh? What if he'd watched her deny they were more than friends?
He clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles ached.
They could do away with that denial. Admit up front that more was possible.
That would hurt. Dylan couldn’t pretend otherwise. He didn’t want to be on the outside of Sydney and Josh’s relationship.
Would you rather be in the middle?
His own question caught him off guard. Was that an option? Because he should mind the idea, but it felt better than anything else he’d asked about this situation all week.
Could he share? Sydney or Josh?
The alternative was cutting at least one of them out of his life.
Fuck.
When he reached the bar, it was loud inside. Distracting. Impossible to think. Perfect.
He ordered a Sprite.
You’re here to drink and get laid. You’re already failing on Point One.
He didn’t want to leave his car here. It meant either taking a cab or calling Josh for a ride.
One song bled into the next while he nursed his drink. The girl at the other end of the bar was cute and watching him over her glass. It would take minimal effort to wave the bartender over and order her another of whatever she was drinking.
She wasn’t Sydney.
He pulled a ten from his wallet for drink and tip, and walked away. Most expensive Sprite ever.
The entire drive home, his brain rehashed the same old questions. Could he watch Sydney be friendly—more—with Josh? Was he willing to see how things went if the two of them resumed their relationship?
Not if it left Dylan out. But that wasn’t what Sydney had asked. Never once. It might be what she meant, but she’d been honest with him so far. She’d only asked why he held his relationship with Josh to a different standard than hers.
Back home, there was a note from Josh on the fridge that he wouldn’t be back tonight.
Thank God. Not that Dylan wanted him gone forever. But he needed to sort out his head.
The knock startled him. Who was visiting at nine at night?
He opened the door to find Sydney on the other side.
Her expression was unreadable, but she looked good. Sexy. Curvy. Fuckable.
He shoved it all down. “Hey.”
“I wouldn’t have come up if Josh’s car was here. You wanted to talk?”
The text he sent yesterday. He did want to talk. There was so much to say. Impulse swept through him. He knotted his fingers in her hair and crushed his mouth to hers.
Sydney whimpered against his lips. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed him back. “I said talk.”
“Right.” Dylan still tasted her. Her scent drilled into his thoughts. Was he supposed to go first?
You could apologize.
Sydney crossed her arms. He didn’t register his gaze falling to her chest until she cleared her throat and shoved her hands in her pockets instead. “You’re right. I’m not over Josh. Maybe I’m dumb for hoping he’s changed, but I won’t apologize for how I feel,” she said.
Nothing Dylan didn’t already know. He met her gaze. “Okay.”
She twisted her mouth. Did she expect something else?
“Now it’s your turn,” she said.
“I’m sorry.” For the first time in days, his brain wasn’t assaulting him with questions. “I kn
ow why you’re mad, and you’re right. I can’t expect you to hate him for something I excuse. I want to make things work between you and me. I don’t know how to get past this and back to where we were.”
“We start by admitting this is a really convoluted situation. The kind of thing that gets called implausible in books and movies. The type of fucked up that only happens in real life.”
Dylan nodded. He agreed.
“And then you promise me that if we finish that kiss, it doesn’t lead to us fucking and then you kicking me out.”
He twitched his fingers, wanting to grab her again. Feel her. Lose himself in her. “I’m not kicking you out.”
“If I asked you to kick Josh out, would you?” Her expression was still unreadable, but her voice hitched.
Dylan was caught off guard by the question. He already knew the answer, though. “No. But I also won’t ask you to do anything similar. I truly am sorry.”
She twisted her mouth, then caught her bottom lip between her teeth. The shift made her that much more alluring. “All right. You can kiss me.”
He didn’t need to hear more. He gripped the back of her neck and nipped her lips before kissing her hard.
She groaned. Fuck, he missed that sound. She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and pressed her body closer.
Dylan was so not ready to surrender whatever this was. He didn’t care what they called it, as long as he was a part of it.
He tugged her into the apartment, never breaking the kiss, and kicked the door shut behind him.
She pressed her fingers to his lips, interrupting the moment. “So are we good?”
“We’re wonderful.” He drew one finger into his mouth and sucked.
Her groan drilled into his thoughts. Her softness teased every inch of his body.
“We can keep talking if you want,” he said. He tried to push her away, to play, but his body refused to cooperate. “But I think we’ll both be happier once I get you naked and I’m worshiping those gorgeous curves of yours.”
Sydney tugged his shirt over his head. “You’ve sold me.”
He shoved up her top, pushing her bra out of the way in the process, and lowered his head. He dragged his tongue over a nipple, before drawing it into his mouth to suck and nibble.
She groaned and ground into him.
“I missed you,” he murmured against her breast. “How did you get under my skin so fast?”
Sydney’s giggle was another high, mingling with the pleasant cloud in his head. She snaked her hand down his chest and traced his erection through his jeans. “Pretty sure I made my luck roll.”
“You’re so perfectly geeky.” He claimed her mouth again. He couldn’t get enough. “And delicious. Did I mention that?”
“It’s the bubblegum glamour. It makes me yummy.”
He nipped down her neck, to bite her shoulder. “Very tasty.” He pulled her shirt and bra off the rest of the way and tossed them aside.
“Are we going to be okay?” A hint of hesitation slid into her light tone.
He hoped so. He couldn’t promise, though. “I think we can get back to where we were, and keep moving forward.”
“Diplomatic of you.” Her teasing was back. “I should stop asking tough questions until you’re not looking to get laid.”
He kneaded her breast, enjoying the splash of emotions on her face. “You can ask me anything you want. Now or later.” The conversation didn’t diminish his desire. He wanted to explore her and talking at the same time.
Sydney dragged down his zipper and stroked him through his boxer briefs. The thin layer of fabric between her skin and his was maddening in the best way possible.
“I still don’t know what to do about...” She ducked her head. “About Josh. About you. I just knew I needed to see you.”
Dylan should be jealous that Josh’s name was still coming up, while they were half-naked. He didn’t mind, though. “No one ever said the other night can’t happen again.” What the fuck was he saying?
She pulled back, her furrowed brow reflecting his mental question. “What did you say?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sydney thought she was keeping up with the conversation and Dylan’s attentions, until he threw that curve ball out there. It was good. Incredible even. But she didn’t know what to do with his statement.
“I don’t know if I can stand to see you with other guys, but...” He muffled his words by kissing along her shoulder.
Heat and electricity raced over her skin, and desire thrummed underneath. She wasn’t sure she should ask. Turned-on plus trepidation made for an odd cocktail. “But what?”
“But Josh is different.”
Her breath caught in her throat. Was she upset that Dylan brought the conversation back to Josh while he was feeling her up, or grateful that she didn’t have to be the one to do it? She didn’t dare make any assumptions. “I don’t know what you’re implying. You have to spell it out for me.”
“I don’t know what I’m saying either, except... the other night was a lot of fun.” He trailed a finger under the band of her jeans, tempting her.
She sucked in a sharp breath when he traced along her hip. “If you were upset that I’m not over him, Round Two won’t make things better.”
“I understand. I’ve had a few days to think about it.” Dylan unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. “I’m okay with it.” He pushed her jeans to the floor, then teased along the crotch of her panties.
This was distracting and delicious. Was she thinking clearly? The hammering of her heart against her ribs made it hard to say. He didn’t hesitate with his assurance. There was no, I think...
She pressed into his touch. She was wet and anxious. Did she want him to finger her or fuck her? All of the above.
The front door snicked, and her heart leaped into her throat.
Josh walked in and paused, gaze locked on hers. He twisted his mouth. “Well, fuck.”
Sydney should cover up, but she didn’t want to stop. Desire pulsed in her veins. This wasn’t the litmus test she would have picked, but it was an interesting way to see if Dylan meant what he said.
“So you’re okay with things happening again?” She forced the question out, keeping it quiet enough for his ears only. She was about to completely destroy things if she pushed wrong. She was intensely aware of Josh watching them.
Dylan rested his forehead against hers. He murmured, “What if I say no? At least not yet?”
That was fair. More than reasonable. “He betrayed me, and there’s a lot to atone for there. You didn’t. If you say no, that’s all I need to hear.”
“And if I say, let’s see where this goes?” He brushed his lips over hers, his volume normal again.
“Where what goes?” Josh asked.
What were the odds she could have something like what Kathryn had? Two guys, all the time? She shouldn’t hope for that, or that Josh would redeem himself, but she couldn’t help it. Why was she so willing to make dumb mistakes when it came to Josh?
Because she knew the good, as well as the bad. And if Dylan was okay with things...
“Do you want an audience?” Dylan’s question interrupted her off-the-rail thoughts but didn’t erase them. His attention was fully on her.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “God, yes.”
“Since neither of you is speaking directly to me, I need to pick between staying and going.” Josh’s voice was thick, as he flicked his gaze between Sydney and Dylan.
Dylan raised his brows. “You’re still here. Haven’t you already made that choice?”
Josh shook his head. “No. But I don’t have a problem admitting I’m enjoying the view while someone makes up their mind.”
Memories joined the fantasy and heat racing through Sydney’s veins—the way she felt in the hentai viewing room, with Dylan’s hands roaming her body, while others watched. This was a show for one, but it made her heart hammer against her ribs harder than when they’d been interrupted in th
e hotel.
“You should stay,” she said to Josh. “But you have to promise to keep your hands to yourself.” Like that was going to make the situation less of a bad idea.
The thrum of need between her legs didn’t care, and, neither did she.
Josh held up his hands. “I promise the only person I’ll touch is myself.”
He took a seat in the chair across from them. His half-smirk sent ripples of desire along her tender nerves.
Dylan pressed his chest to her back and glided his hands up her stomach, to cup her breasts. He kneaded gently as he kissed along her neck.
She groaned and pressed back into him. His hard length dug into her back, teasing and tempting. Between that and the way Josh stroked himself through his jeans, Sydney was squirming again.
Dylan pinched one nipple, and she gasped at the sharp sting. He rolled the swollen nub between his fingers, alternating between heavy and light pressure, while he slid his other hand down her stomach, to dip below her panties.
He slipped his fingers between her folds. “Fuck, I love how much this turns you on.” His growl vibrated against her skin.
“Me too.” Her laugh ended in a moan. She bucked her hips when he brushed her clit.
He moved away, teasing along her slippery skin, but not offering relief.
When Josh unzipped and worked himself free, a new shock of desire spilled inside and throbbed between her legs.
Dylan finally moved up to the center of her need, tracing circles around her clit. He teased and coaxed, edging away each time her groans grew more punctuated.
She hovered in the knife edge of pleasure, whimpering and grinding, needing release.
Disappointment mingled with desire and release when Dylan pulled both hands away. She didn’t have time to process what he was doing, before he hooked his thumbs in her panties and dragged them down to her knees.
She wriggled to drop them further
“They’re good where they are.” Dylan slapped her ass.
The sharp sting amplified her arousal.
He wedged a foot between hers and twisted, widening her stance. It wasn’t the same as being bound, but the stretchy cotton was a tantalizing restraint.
Roll Against Betrayal Page 10
