“I shouldn’t be upset,” he muttered quietly, then lifted his head to repeat it. “I shouldn’t. The man never gave a shit about me.” The pain was written on his face with every heartbreaking word. I sat quietly, knowing he just needed to get it out. “I spent my whole life trying to convince myself that he loved us, but did it in his own way, you know?” He looked at me, the sorrow in his eyes making my own well with tears. “But I don’t know if that was true, Soph.”
I scooted closer, grabbing both of his hands in mine and holding on tight. “Of course it was. Dom, you can’t think like that. He loved you and Lola. He was just a hard man. He had impossible expectations.”
“You know the last thing I ever said to him?” He didn’t wait for me to answer before continuing. “It was when I told him I was quitting and moving to Seattle for you. We fought, and he told me I was ruining my life, that my soft heart was going to leave me broke and destitute. He said I’d never amount to anything without him. Christ.” He let out a bark of harsh laughter. With a shake of his head, he looked across the room. “He said that shit all my life, that I’d never be anything without him. The last thing I ever said to my father was that I prayed I never turned out to be like him. I told him he was going to die alone because he was a miserable piece of shit who didn’t deserve to be loved.”
“Dominic—”
“He died alone, Sophia,” he croaked out in a husky voice that sounded like he’d gargled with glass. Then his tears started to fall. “He died alone.”
“Stop.” I took his face in my hands and stared into his eyes, trying my hardest to do the impossible and console him through his guilt. “It’s not your fault,” I choked past the sob that stuck in my throat. “It’s not. Don’t think like that. This isn’t on you, Dominic. You tried. For years you tried every single thing imaginable to get your father’s acceptance.” I rested my forehead against his as I pleaded, “You can’t take on that kind of guilt, honey. You did everything you could. Grieve, be sad, miss him, but do not blame yourself. I won’t let you.”
I pulled him into my arms when his face crumbled and his body began to shake in silent sobs. “I just wanted him to be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted. Now it’s too late.”
I cried harder, feeling every ounce of sadness he was carrying. “Listen to me,” I said quietly. “Everyone in your life who’s ever loved you is proud of you, Dom. You’re kind, and funny, and smart. You’re amazing at your job. You made your own success. That wasn’t your father—it was all you. You have so many other people who are proud of you. I’m proud of you. Concentrate on that.”
I rocked us side to side as he fought to gain control of his emotions. When his tears finally stopped, I pulled back but didn’t break my hold on him. “Come on. I know what you need.”
I stood and, with his hand in mine, led him over to the bed. I guided him down onto the mattress, climbing in after him and wrapping him in my arms, his back to my chest. Lancelot joined us, curling up at the foot of the bed. “You get to be the little spoon this time,” I offered, earning myself a chuckle from Dom that warmed my soul.
I lost track of time as we laid in silence, listening to the sound of his breathing, feeling the beat of his heart against my palm. “You know,” I said softly, not wanting to upset the peace that had blanketed us, “I grew up thinking you were the most handsome boy I’d ever seen. I didn’t know what that meant until I was older. Then one day during my freshman year of high school, it just clicked. It was like all the puzzle pieces just fell into place. I came over one day to visit Lola and you were back home for the weekend. I saw you, and the first thought that popped into my head was ‘I’m going to marry that guy one day.’ And that was it. Just like that, you were the one.
“My dad was pissed.” I giggled against his back. “He thought I was too young, that you were too old. He wasn’t thrilled with the idea of me getting so serious when I was about to leave for college. He tried to talk me out of it, but….”
“But you got your stubborn streak from your dear old dad,” he laughed.
My smile grew and I placed a kiss on his back. “Exactly. Anyway, he said he knew there was no talking me out of something I’d already set my mind on, and he knew by the way I looked at you that I was over the moon.”
He didn’t speak for several seconds. “But then I hurt you and made you hate me.”
I squeezed him tighter, as if trying the burrow into him. “No,” I whispered. “I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you. You’re… the one.” I felt his heartbeat pick up pace, heard his breath stutter.
I pulled in a fortifying breath, determined to say everything that had been building inside of me, to purge all the bad from my heart and be rid of it once and for all. “Yes, you hurt me. Ten years ago and now. But I share responsibility too. I didn’t fight for us back then. I got my heart broken and walked away. Then I spent ten years nursing a grudge I should’ve let go of.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted. He moved to turn but I held tight. I wanted us to stay just as we were. I wasn’t the one who needed comforting that time—he was.
“Maybe not completely, but that doesn’t change the fact that I messed up too. I shouldn’t have let my temper get the best of me. It’s a bad habit of mine, as you know,” I joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I ended us. What you did was just a reaction to that. We both made mistakes, but I need you to know I forgive you. I didn’t realize until I read those e-mails this morning, but it’s true. I forgave you a long time ago, Dominic. I was just too stubborn to let myself see it. And if I hadn’t wasted so much energy holding it over your head this time, we wouldn’t have ended up where we are now. I made it impossible for you to break through.”
“No.” That time he didn’t let me keep him in place. He turned so we were facing each other and reached up, stroking his fingertips from my temple to my jaw. “You won’t let me carry guilt over my father, and I won’t let you feel guilty over this. What I did, how I tricked you, that’s all on me, butterfly. I knew how important honesty was to you and I did it anyway. That’s not on you. It’s on me.”
I pressed deeper into his touch, exhaling audibly. “None of that matters right now. This isn’t about me right now, it’s about you and what you need. We can have this conversation at a later time when you aren’t hurting. So tell me.” I rubbed my finger along his brow. “What is it that you need? How can I help you?”
“Just be here,” he whispered.
I moved closer. “I am, Dom. I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at me and I returned it. “There is one more thing I could use right now, if you’re willing.”
“Name it.”
“Let me be the big spoon for a while? I just want to hold you, butterfly… make sure you’re real.”
I flipped to face the other way and pressed my back into his chest. “I’m real. I swear. And I’ll be here as long as you need.”
He nuzzled his face into my hair, his chest rising in a deep breath. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he drowsily said, “I’d say forever, but that’s a conversation for another time.”
Then he fell asleep holding me in his arms.
I let go of all the pain from the past and allowed myself to revel in our embrace. Then I followed after him.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Dominic
Sophia had been amazing over the next couple of days. When we woke up from our nap after our heart-to-heart, she’d insisted that I come stay at her house so she could take care of me. I’d been relegated to a guest room, but that was fine with me; just being in her presence was enough. And when it was time for Lola and me to head to New York for the funeral, she’d strong-armed her way into the trip. Instead of going back to work after their suspension was over, Daphne and Sophia had taken vacation time so they could be there for their friend. And me.
“Wow.” Lola’s whisper echoed off the wa
lls of the sanctuary once we stepped into the grand Catholic church my father had designated to hold his funeral. It was by far the grandest, most opulent church in Manhattan. Only the best for my old man. “I’m surprised I didn’t burst into flames the instant I walked in here.”
“Shh!” my mother hissed before doing the sign of the cross. “Lord, forgive her for she knows not what she does.”
I rolled my eyes at her dramatics, wondering again for the millionth time why she’d tagged along with us to her ex-husband’s funeral with her new husband, Maury, in tow.
“Pretty sure she knows exactly what she does,” Grayson muttered under his breath. “She just doesn’t seem to care.”
Daphne, Sophia, Maury, and I all laughed while my mom and Lola both shot him murderous glares.
“It’s enough that you two aren’t getting married in an actual church, but do you have to make jokes in the house of God?” Ma admonished.
“Well, this is gonna be fun,” Lola mumbled. “Why exactly are you here again, Ma?”
She placed her hands on her hips and stared my sister down. “Because in spite of my personal feelings for the man, he still gave me the two most precious gifts a woman could ask for—you and your brother. I’d like to pay my respects.”
“That and his lawyer called and asked her to come since her name was mentioned in the will,” Maury added, pulling at his necktie. Poor guy looked as uncomfortable as a whore in… well, in a church.
My back went straight as Lola loudly hissed, “You’re mentioned in the will?”
“Can you at least pretend that I taught you manners and keep your voice down?”
“Sorry,” she continued to whisper-yell. “I’m just… that’s insane!”
“Do you know what he could possibly have left you?” I asked, cutting into what would have easily degenerated into an Abbatelli girl fight.
“No clue.” Ma shrugged carelessly. “But curiosity has always been an unfortunate character flaw of mine.”
“Hence why we’re here,” Maury finished.
I felt a tug on my hand and looked down to see Sophia had wrapped her fingers around mine. “Hey,” she whispered so only I could hear. “You okay?”
“I don’t like this,” I responded just as quietly. “He made Ma’s life miserable. What if he put something in there to continue messing with her?”
She stepped closer until she was pressed right into my side. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, we’ll cross that bridge if and when we come to it. We can handle it, okay? Besides, Maury wouldn’t let anything hurt your mother. He’s fierce like that.” Her beautiful smile melted away my concern. “Let’s just get through the next few days. The funeral, then the reading of the will tomorrow, and then we get to go back to Seattle where the worst thing that could happen is Lola getting the wrong flowers in her bouquet.”
I made my eyes go big as I asked, “I’m sorry, do you know my sister? Her getting the wrong flowers on her wedding day spells disaster of apocalyptic proportions.”
She giggled quietly and moved even closer. Damn, I love her. I wanted to say it out loud, but it was too soon. We still needed to talk about us, and where we stood, so I settled for “Thank you for being here. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this without you.”
She lifted my hand and placed a kiss on my knuckles. I pulled my hand from her hold in order to sling my arm over her shoulders, then looked at the rest of our ragtag group and said, “Let’s get this over with.”
We took two steps into the sanctuary when I was hit by a force that broke my hold on Sophia and knocked me back two steps. “What the hell?”
With my arms spread out at my sides, I looked down at the top of a head full of fake blonde hair and froze solid.
I heard Lola growl, “You have got to be kidding me,” but I was too shocked by the fact that Chelsea was wrapped around my body like a goddamn python to process what was going on around me.
“Oh God, Dominic!” Chelsea sobbed against my chest, fisting my shirt and wrinkling it beyond compare. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I just can’t believe it. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Jesus Christ,” I grunted as I reached down and tried to pry her claws out of my Armani button-down. “Have you lost your mind? Get off me!”
“I’m so sad,” she continued to sob. “I n-need you, Dom. I c-can’t do this without you.”
I pushed at her as best I could without making a scene, but she was like goddamn cling wrap, latching on to wherever she touched next.
“I’m serious, Chelsea. Let me go right fucking now.” I looked around for God knew what, seeing that most everyone with me looked as bewildered as I felt. All except for one.
“He said let go.” Sophia’s face was twisted in anger. I had no doubt that, had we not been in a church, attending my father’s funeral, she’d have gone off on the bitch.
She wrapped her fingers around Chelsea’s wrists and twisted so hard that the woman had no choice but to let go or risk being hurt.
She spoke quietly through clenched teeth in order not to draw unwanted attention. “This is a funeral, you tacky cow. I’d ask how pathetic do you have to be to make a pass at your dead sugar daddy’s son, but seeing as you already proved you’re a manipulative, selfish bitch, I’m not surprised you’d make this play.”
“Excuse me?” Chelsea started, nowhere near as quiet. Not a shock, seeing as she craved any kind of attention, good or bad. “Who do you think you are? My boyfriend just died!”
People started staring and whispering, but Sophia was on a role and didn’t seem to care. “Oh please,” she scoffed. “Don’t try and play the grieving widow. It doesn’t suit you. I’m sure every single person in this room knows what a lowbred, white-trash moneygrubber you really are. You’re not fooling anybody. You’re here because your last meal ticket croaked and now you’re looking for a new one. The saddest part is you actually think Dominic would fall for it. For God’s sake, hasn’t he spelled it out for you enough? He. Doesn’t. Want. You,” she enunciated.
People all around us started snickering, giving the impression that my father hadn’t hidden exactly what Chelsea was.
She blanched white as her mouth opened and closed in an effort to retort. “I… I can’t believe you’d—”
“Believe it,” Sophia snapped, stepping closer. “Now, since the silicone from your chest has obviously seeped into your brain and made you slow, I’ll speak slowly so you understand exactly what I’m saying. You have no chance at getting your hands on him or his money. Dominic can’t stand the sight of you. You repulse him.”
I could see Chelsea shifting from the grief-stricken girlfriend to the vindictive shrew she really was right before my eyes. “He didn’t seem that repulsed the night he took me to bed,” she sneered.
“Please.” Sophia laughed. “You were nothing more than a body he used in an attempt to get me out of his head. Hell, he probably kept his eyes closed and pictured my face the entire time.”
“Holy crap,” Daphne whispered. “She just totally went there.”
“Oh damn,” Lola giggled. “That had to hurt.”
I gave her a look that clearly communicated her input wasn’t necessary.
“You never had a chance,” she continued, undeterred. “Not only because he saw you for what you were right off the bat, but also because you could never be me. Now do yourself and the rest of us a favor and scurry back into whatever hole you crawled out of. And if you even think about contacting Dominic again, it’ll be me you deal with.” She moved again, bringing her nose to nose with Chelsea as she threatened, “And next time I won’t be nice.”
She stepped back and turned her attention from the woman she’d just dressed down to me, holding out her hand. “You ready, honey?”
I took it and allowed her to lead me to the front pew as the rest of our entourage followed. I bit my lip to keep from laughing when I heard my mother whispering to her husband. “I’ve always liked her. Spine of steel, that on
e. I always said it would take a special girl to hold her own against my Dominic.”
“Are you serious?” Lola cried. “If I’d have said half of what Sophia just did, you’d be over there burning candles, praying for my soul!”
“Eh,” Ma muttered. “You didn’t need to put up with Dominic. You gave attitude for no good reason.”
My sister emitted a squeak. “Did you forget we lived in the same house for eighteen years? If I didn’t get an attitude, he’d have eaten me alive! He shaved off one of my eyebrows in my sleep when I was twelve! Do you have any idea the kind of psychological damage having just one eyebrow causes a middle school girl?”
“My sweet Lola,” Ma crooned. “Always so dramatic.”
At the sound of Grayson’s snort, I lost control and busted out laughing as we slid into our seats with Mom, Maury, and Daphne behind us. I covered my mouth to muffle it as the pews filled up all around us. Once I got control of it, I realized Sophia and I were still holding hands. I glanced down at our entwined fingers before looking up at her to discover she was already watching me. She smiled and clenched my hand.
“I’m sorry,” she said under her breath.
My forehead creased in confusion, “For what?”
Her cheeks heated in a blush that made her look adorable. “For how I acted just now. That was… I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just really don’t like that woman, and she—”
Without thinking, I leaned in and silenced her with a kiss. It wasn’t anything inappropriate, just a hard and fast peck on the lips, but it still heated my blood. And when I pulled back to meet her gaze, I knew by the glazed-over look in her eyes that it affected her just as much as it did me.
Instead of acknowledging it, I turned to face the front to give her as much privacy as possible to process what she was feeling.
Fortunately, she left her hand in mine through the entire service, making attending my father’s funeral that much more bearable.
Tempting Sophia Page 20
