I know my husband. I know the man I married. I trust him, and he's never given me a reason not to.
Our relationship is far from perfect, but I don't need perfect. Aiming that high will only let you down. I want security and trust and love. I have all those things and so much more.
Thankfully, the girls walk back into the room, successfully ending our conversation. It's time to get married. Again. To the man of my dreams. The only man I’ll ever want by my side.
Ally can suck on that.
"Before we head down there, I have something for you," Megan says, reaching into her purse and pulling out another box. Her purse is tiny. I'm surprised there was enough room in there for both Hunter's gift and this one.
"You didn't have to get me anything," I say, reaching for the box, my hands shaking as I try to hold back the tears.
"Don't cry. It's nothing special, but you said you felt your dress was a little basic. I figured you might feel that way after the hair and makeup, so I picked this up a few days ago."
Slowly removing the large white bow on top, I lift the lid to reveal teal fabric with three gemstones on it.
"It's a sash. We can pin it over the white one on your dress. The gemstones are your mom’s, dad’s, and brother’s birthstones. I figured this way they could be here with you in spirit since they couldn't be here in person."
Dear God, I hope this makeup is truly tearproof because they're already running down my cheeks and I haven't even lifted the fabric out of the box.
Megan pulls me in for a hug before carefully pinning the sash into place. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but smile. I've been trying really hard not to think about my family. I wish more than anything that they could all be here to celebrate with us. I want to dance with my father, do shots with my brother, and wipe away my mother’s tears.
She was always a bit of a crier. She bawled during the entire ceremony when Hunter and I first got married. I can only imagine she'd do the same today. She was a sucker for love. That's probably where I got it. I know that's where my brother got it.
Once she loved you, no matter how much of an idiot you acted like, no matter how far away you were, she loved you forever. If you loved her back, and it was really hard not to love my mother, she held onto your love, cherished it, and kept it close to her heart.
Love was everything to her. It defined her. And when we lost her, I felt her love slip away. We all did. Hence the downfall of my father. Everywhere he looks, he's reminded of my mother's love, yet he can't feel it anymore.
Today I feel her love, though. Right now. I know she's looking down on me, smiling, proud of the life I'm leading, of the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. She loved Hunter. She loved me, and her blessing surrounds us every day, but I can feel its strength today.
Chapter Sixteen
Megan and I are the only two left in the room. Emerson insisted that everyone else go ahead of us and get their seats, and she would make sure the music changed as soon as I made it to the 'staging' area. Basically, as soon as she sees me round the corner of the building and my feet hit the sand, she's going to play the “Wedding March.”
Megan's fussing with my dress when we hear a commotion out in the hall. Out of curiosity, I step toward the door, but Megan blocks my path.
"I'll see what's going on."
"You know, he's seen me in a wedding dress before. Hell, he saw me naked this morning. I don't know why you're being so traditional about all this."
"Because I can," she states, tilting her head up and smiling proudly.
Whatever. As long as I get to walk down the runner Emerson demanded and profess my love for my husband in front of our closest friends and family, I don't really care.
Megan opens the door slightly, peering into the hallway. I don't hear voices anymore, but something has her attention.
"What is it?" I ask, taking a step closer, which earns me a warning glare from her.
"Zane is talking to someone outside his room. It looks like the lady from the front desk. Wait… there's a suitcase next to him. It looks like he's leaving."
"What? Hunter will kill him."
"Hold on."
"Damn it, Megan. The suspense is killing me. Let me go talk to him. Hunter's not out there, so I'm safe."
"My ass. There's no guarantee he won't walk around the corner in a minute. Stay where you are. I'll be right back."
Megan closes the door behind her as she goes in search of answers. As much as I want to respect her desire to keep my husband from seeing me before the ceremony, I also want to know what's going on.
Carefully opening the door only a sliver, I close one eye and focus on Megan's back a few doors down. She's blocking my view of the action. I hear murmurs, and then, as Zane steps out from behind Megan, I realize what's actually happening.
Cammie is leaving.
Zane is rolling her suitcase toward the lobby, and she's following behind him, struggling with her crutches. Her foot is wrapped in an ace bandage from her heel to halfway up her calf. If it really is broken, that's not going to do her any good. She may get priority boarding, but that's about it. If she's looking for sympathy, I don't think she's going to find it here.
"What are you doing?" Megan asks, stepping in front of me.
I zoned out watching Cammie hobble, opening the door fully. I didn't even notice Megan approaching.
"She's leaving," I state in lieu of an apology for my actions. After all, I'm not sorry for spying.
"Yeah. She's on the next flight to Miami."
"And Zane?"
"He said to give him ten minutes and then we could come down. He wants to make sure she gets on the shuttle before he heads back down to the beach."
Zane's staying. Cammie's gone. Chris is gone.
You know what? I'm done. I'm not a damn babysitter. If the two of them want to get freaky together tonight, I don't give a shit. I don't want to hear about it. They're both consenting adults. They can make their own decisions, whether we all think it's a mistake or not.
"That should make Ally happy," I note as Megan closes the door and resumes fussing with my dress.
"I don't want to talk about Ally right now. She's going to do what she wants to do. If we try and push her, she'll push back harder. There's obviously something she sees that she likes. You know how she is. Once her mind is made up, nothing can change it."
Same with Hunter. Hence the reason we tried every available option to have a baby. Even after we learned there was no chance it would ever happen. We still tried. We would have regretted it if we hadn't.
After the longest ten minutes of my life, Megan and I make the short walk through the resort to where everyone is waiting for us on the beach.
"I'll go first. Wait for the music to change and then it's your turn."
"I know what to do, ya know. I've done this once before."
"Yeah, yeah. Just listen for your cue and don't forget to smile."
Giving her my cheesiest smile, Megan rolls her eyes at me and rounds the corner only to whip back around seconds later.
"They need a minute." Her words are rushed as she places her hands on my shoulders.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she insists quickly.
"Megan, I swear to God if you don't tell me what's going on, you're going to be picking sand out of your ass crack for a week with the force I plan on using to get past you."
Stunned silent, Megan thinks it over, and then she laughs. She fucking laughs at me.
"I'm not joking," I threaten through gritted teeth.
"You're cute when you're angry. Emerson was having issues with the runner, B. It's nothing big, I swear. I just didn't want you to see Em blow up at the coordinator. Again. Because it's like the tenth time today."
So I may have overreacted a bit, but she made it sound like the world was ending around the corner. My mind went straight to the worst-case scenario. Hunter was missing. He didn't show up or decided he didn't want to marry me
again. You can't freak a girl out like that on her wedding day, whether or not she's technically already married.
Not cool.
Megan peeks around the corner, turns back, gives me the thumbs up and then disappears. I listen for my cue, the music changing moments later, and rush around the corner, my body smacking into a soft, familiar chest.
"Hey, baby girl," my father whispers as he pulls me in for a hug. "I couldn't have you getting married without me, so I hope you don't mind if I crash the wedding."
I can't move, can't think, as my father holds me while I cry.
Wanting him here and having him here are two different things. There are a number of things you can want in life. Little things. Big things. Wanting something doesn't make it magically appear. You have to work for it. That's why the things you do have should be cherished. It makes them invaluable because not only did you work hard to get them, you have to work hard to keep them.
"I'm so happy you're here," I finally say, taking the hankie out of my father's hand and dabbing at my cheeks like the makeup lady told me to do.
"Well, I had to bring a friend with me. I hope that's okay."
"That's more than okay, Daddy." Looking up at my father I see the man who used to bounce me on his knee as a child. There's a calm in his eyes that hasn't been there since before we lost my mom.
"Should we get you married, then?" he jokes, crooking his elbow in my direction so I can slide my arm through it.
"That sounds perfect."
Taking my father's arm, we turn toward the aisle. That's when I notice everyone standing, waiting for us. Smiles on their faces. Tears streaming down Emerson's.
She knew.
That's what she's been dealing with this morning.
Not the runner. Not chairs.
She knew my father was going to surprise me.
That's why they were keeping me hidden in the room.
Tradition my ass. They were all in on it. I can't believe them.
When we hit the end of the aisle, I look up to my waiting husband and see the truth in his eyes.
He made this happen. He had help, but this was all him. He knew I wouldn't want to get married without my dad. I don't have a choice that my mom and brother can't be here, but my dad's still alive.
My father and Hunter exchange a few sentimental words, and then he takes his seat next to Herman. Hunter takes my hands, and as we stand face to face, he mouths, "I love you."
The pastor begins, reading the short and sweet renewal commitment I wrote for him.
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of a man and a woman, Hunter and Brianna. Ten years ago, they stood in front of all their family and friends and promised to stand by each other's side, through good and bad times. Today, they renew those vows of faith in one another in front of each of you. Promising to always love one another, even when they don't like each other. Promising to support each other, through thick and thin, even when it feels impossible.
"Marriage is more than a commitment to the other person. It's a commitment to one’s self. To always find a way to be honest with the other person. To put their needs above your own. To love them, honor the relationship and the union. To some, marriage is just a piece of paper. A contract that can be altered as needed. To Hunter and Brianna, marriage is a choice. They are choosing to spend the rest of their lives loving each other, taking care of one another, and standing together, united."
The pastor nods in Hunter's direction. Hunter releases my right hand, turns to Zane and then back to me quickly.
"Brianna, I've loved you from the moment we met. I feel like the luckiest man alive every morning I wake up with you in my arms. I married you ten years ago because I was in love with you, but the way I feel about you today is nothing compared to how I felt about you then. I love you more than I thought I ever would, and I'd marry you over and over again if you'd let me." Hunter opens his palm to reveal a thin, platinum wedding back wrapped in diamonds. Holding it at the tip of my finger he continues. "With this ring, I promise to love you more tomorrow than I do today. To do everything in my power to make you happy and to apologize when I fall short. I love you, Brianna Nicole Dixon."
Hunter slides the ring on my finger until its set with my wedding ring. It matches perfectly. I stare at it as the sunlight shines down on it, the diamonds sparkling through my tears.
Then I start freaking out.
We didn't discuss rings. I didn't get him a new ring.
Reading my thoughts, Hunter nods to Megan and pulls my hand to her, presses a ring into my palm and smiles.
Turning back to my husband, I shake my head at him slightly, but I can't help but grin from ear to ear. He's full of surprises today.
"Hunter, I can't imagine anyone else by my side, and I don't want to. I hit the jackpot when I met you. There was no doubt in my mind that I would one day marry you, and I held onto that hope, that dream, until the day you dropped to one knee and asked me. It's been a wild ride since day one, and I don't see that changing any time soon. I love the life we've built together. I love that I get to share every day with you." Placing the ring at the tip of his finger, I notice the absence of his original wedding ring, and I can't help but frown. "This ring is only a symbol of our love. A love that's unbreakable and never-ending. I'll love you until the day I die, Hunter Herman Dixon, and probably long after that."
As soon as I slide the ring on his finger, Hunter pulls me in for a kiss, not waiting for the pastor to give his blessing. I vaguely hear him pronounce us husband and wife, again. The cheers are background noise. All I'm focused on is my husband and the way his kiss is destroying me for any other man.
Not that I'm interested in anyone else. I have the only man I'll ever need. He's more than I deserve. His love is all-encompassing and his compassion is never-ending. He gets me like no one else does. Like no one else has to.
Chapter Seventeen
As Hunter swings me around the dance floor, he makes me naughty promises just like he did on our wedding night. Promises he kept and I know he'll keep again.
That is, until my dad cuts in. Thankfully, Hunter saw him approaching and stopped talking dirty to me in time.
"I'm so glad you're here. And Dr. Burlsen seems nice."
"She is. She's really helped me get over a few hurdles I never thought I could."
"Like what?" I inquire. I assume he's talking about my mom, my brother, his drinking. Because, in my mind, there's nothing else he could be talking about. So when he elaborates, it takes everything in me to not let my jaw hit the floor.
"You love her?"
"No, but I think I could. I like her a lot. It's against the facility’s policy for us to have a relationship, but once I'm released next week, we've decided to see where things go."
I'm quiet for a few minutes, absorbing the reality that my father may move on from my mother. On the one hand, I'm thrilled for him. He needs someone in his life. Someone who can be there to support him. Day or night. Someone to care for, to love him.
On the other, I'm not sure I like this at all.
I know she's not replacing my mother. No one ever will. Not in my heart or my father's. Still, I feel like a teenager wanting to stomp my feet and throw a fit at his admission.
"You don't like the idea, do you?" he finally asks after a few moments of silence.
"She's nice, but I don't know her. I'm not sure what to think. Two seconds ago, she was your doctor, and now she's your girlfriend."
"Listen, as much as I knew this was going to surprise you, I was hoping it would be a good surprise. Since your mother, I swore off love. I didn't even want a relationship with anyone else. I was perfectly happy wallowing in misery. Denise is the first person I've looked at differently. And not because she's my doctor. I liked her even when I hated her. When she was pushing me to get clean, pissing me off, and telling me the truth about who I was. Making me admit my demons and helping me work through them. There were days I would scream at her and tell her to go t
o Hell.
"But I always went back the next day, even if I didn't have a scheduled session, and apologized. Thanked her for helping me. And then, one day, I stopped yelling. I stopped fighting the fact that I was an alcoholic. It was the same day I realized why I kept going to her office to talk. It wasn't because I was having a low moment. It was because I wanted to see her. It took me weeks to figure it out, but she already knew. She knew it the first time I yelled at her. She saw my passion. I wasn't fighting with her about my alcohol abuse, I was fighting with myself over how I was feeling for her."
He could have left anytime. He could have walked out of rehab, gone home, and picked up a bottle. He checked himself in. It was voluntary.
He stayed because of her.
She's the reason my father is clean. Not because she's his doctor but because she's his second chance at happiness.
Damn it. I can't not like her now.
She's given me my father back.
"When do you officially complete the program?" I ask as the song comes to an end.
"Eight more days."
"I have a plane ticket to head straight to your house from here. I was going to get it cleaned up and ready for you. I guess I'll see you and Denise when you get there."
"The house is clean, Bri. I had it done last week. I told them where all my hiding places were. What I needed them to look for and get rid of. I took care of it. You are welcome to come visit once I'm home, but you don't need to pick up my mess."
He really is different. He'll probably be healing for a while still, but he's back on his feet, and he can take care of himself. He removed all temptation before he went home. On his own. He knew he had to get rid of it.
"I'm proud of you, Daddy. I want you to know that."
"I'm proud of you too, sweetie."
Pulling my father in for a hug, a single tear slides down my cheek, and I don't bother to wipe it away. All my tears today have been tears of joy. I don't want to wash those away. I want them to stain my cheeks as a reminder of the happiness I've felt.
Rumors: Brianna & Hunter Page 11
