“I’m not worried, Dad. The police are watching the place and Misty will be mov—”
“That’s not what I mean.” Frowning, he looked at the ground and carved an arc in the snow with the toe of his shoe. “I mean be careful with your heart, honey.”
Her breath caught. Was she that transparent? She pasted on her bravest smile. “Don’t worry, Daddy. He—Austin already has a mommy. I know that.”
* * *
“When do we get ta play with those girls again?” Austin tossed off the quilt Dallas had just tucked him in with.
“You mean Sari and Sadie and Simone?”
“Uh-huh. And those babies.”
Dallas put the quilt back on, taking care to secure the edges of the bedcovers, buying time. How could he answer that question when the answer was never? “The babies . . . Emma and Grace, you mean.”
“Yeah, them. And that dog. Hunk-a-betty.”
Dallas curbed a grin. “Yep, Huckleberry.” Austin had been taken with Grant and Audrey’s chocolate lab, and the feeling was mutual, judging by how the dog had shadowed him all day. “So you had a good time today, huh?”
“Yeah. Those people gots a biiig house.” He steepled his hands over his head. “You gots a big house too.”
“Yep, we do. We both have pretty big houses, don’t we?”
“Uh-huh, and they gots lots of food and lots of toys and lots of stuff and—” Austin closed his eyes, obviously trying to think of something to keep the conversation going.
Dallas laughed and made a rake of his fingers, ruffling the little boy’s hair. “Now I think you’re just stalling.”
One eye popped open. “What’s stally?”
“Stalling. It’s when you’re supposed to be going to sleep and you keep talking.”
Austin looked appropriately guilty.
“I’m going to cover you up one more time, OK, buddy? If you throw the covers off this time, you’re on your own.”
He made a production of shaking out the quilt and spreading it over Austin, then tucking him in on the sides, the way his father used to do with him. He hadn’t thought of that in years, and it put a lump in his throat for his dad. He wondered if Drew remembered those tuck-ins.
He was curious where Drew had spent Thanksgiving. He’d invited his brother to the Whitmans’, but Drew had begged off. Dallas would give him a call tomorrow if they weren’t too busy with Austin.
He had to admit he was taken aback by how much work a kid was. Maybe it was different when it was your own kid. But there were car seats and meals and baths and teeth-brushings and nose-wipings and vitamins and night-time Pull-Ups and constant safety checks . . .
And he’d sort of loved it all. Well, except for the nose-wipings and Pull-Ups.
He and Danae had babysat for Jesse and Corinne’s girls before, but never overnight, and there was just something different when it was nieces and you knew the parents. With this kid, it felt like a bigger responsibility. Bigger stakes.
Part of him wanted to tell Drew about their time with Austin. But he knew exactly where his brother would steer that conversation: adoption. The elephant in the room . . . in the world. His world anyway.
He’d lectured Danae about getting attached to Austin. He couldn’t tell her that after barely twenty-four hours, he was as smitten with the kid as she ever was. And with the idea of
having a kid. The feelings had taken him by surprise. He’d always wanted a family, of course. It just seemed like the natural progression of things.
But until now, it had been mostly for Danae’s sake that he wanted kids. Because she seemed to feel that life wasn’t worth living if you didn’t have kids.
He wouldn’t go that far, but having this kid in their house had definitely made the prospect of a family something he could now envision. And look forward to.
“You guys doing OK?” Danae’s shadow fell across the daybed, and he turned to see her standing in the doorway.
He knew she was checking up on him more than Austin. And he didn’t blame her. He had almost zero experience with kids. But he was turning out to be kind of a natural, if he did say so himself. He gave her a thumbs up over his shoulder.
Austin threw off the covers again and peered up at Danae. “Can I stay up a little longer?”
“No.” He and Danae answered in unison.
Austin sighed and flopped back on the pillow. “G’night.”
“Sweet dreams, Austin,” she said, a smile in her voice.
“Good night, buddy. See you in the morning.”
Dallas gave one last tuck and rose, turning toward the doorway.
Danae still stood there, leaning against the doorjamb. The expression on her face was one he would have paid any sum of money to see again and again.
17
Come on, Austin. You need to get your coat on. I bet your mama can’t wait to see you.” Danae could scarcely choke out the words. But she needed to be matter-of-fact about this. Not just for Austin’s sake, but for her own.
She couldn’t believe how quickly the weekend had flown by. They’d built a snowman in the backyard on Friday, built tents with quilts and sheets in the living room on Saturday, and played hooky from church this morning—which seemed easier than trying to explain Austin’s situation to their friends—and made a feast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs.
“Is my mama gonna get beat up?”
Her hands stilled on the buttons of his jacket. She looked into his dark, serious eyes. “No, sweetie. Why do you think that?”
“ ’Cause my dad beats her up.” He hung his head. “And sometime he beats me up.”
She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into a hug, hiding her tears behind his shoulder. After a minute she held him at arms’ length and looked into his dark eyes. Eyes that held far too much sadness for a three-year-old. “No, Austin. You’re both safe now. Your mama just went to visit her sister and brother, remember?”
“But I don’t have no sister and brother.”
“No. Her sister and brother. You’re right. You don’t have any sisters or brothers yet. But someday you might. Would you like that?”
“Like Sari and them other girls at that big house?”
“Yes, Sari and Sophie and Simone.”
“And them two babies.”
“Emma and Grace. The twins.”
“Yep. An’ Hunk-a-betty too.”
She laughed through tears. She’d never be able to think of Huckleberry by any other name.
“You would be a very good big brother, Austin.”
“ ’Cept if I had a big brother I—”
“No, silly, you would be the big brother.”
“I know. And if I had a big brother he could sleep in my bed with me ’cause we don’t got no baby bed.” Austin had been intrigued by the crib that was set up in the nursery where he’d slept on the daybed.
“Well, if you ever got a baby brother or sister, I bet you’d get a baby bed too, so—”
“I’m too big for a baby bed!” He snorted. “I’m a big boy.”
“No . . . I meant you’d get a bed for the baby, so you wouldn’t have to share your bed.” She released him and finished zipping his jacket. This conversation was getting complicated—especially since Misty and Hank weren’t even together any more. “We’d better get a move on, sport.”
“How’s come Mr. Dallas isn’t comin’ with us?”
“He had to go in to work for a little while.”
“My dad don’t go to work.”
“He doesn’t?”
“No. He just sits on his butt all day.”
“Austin . . .” She couldn’t contain a snicker. “That’s not a very nice way to talk.”
He looked at her as if he didn’t know what she meant, and she felt bad for correcting him, knowing he was only echoing what Misty must have said about Hank.
“Come on. Let’s get in the car. Your mama is going to wonder where you are.”
“No, she won’t.” he said, as if s
he was the biggest dunce alive. “I’m right here.”
“You crack me up.”
He grinned as if it were the biggest compliment he’d ever received.
They’d only heard from Misty once, on Friday evening. She’d left her sister’s phone number as the emergency contact, but when Danae had called that number an hour ago, it went straight to voice mail. She assumed that meant Misty was on the road home.
She opened the door and helped Austin down the two steps into the garage. In just four days, they already had a routine. She tossed his little suitcase full of freshly laundered clothes behind the driver’s seat, then went around to help him climb up into the car seat they’d borrowed from Corinne and Jesse. She buckled him in—for the last time.
And her heart literally ached.
She’d actually been glad when Dallas got called in to manage an issue at work. She’d been determined not to let him see her cry as he’d predicted she would. But who was she fooling? She was on the verge of blubbering like a baby. And she probably would do just that right after she dropped Austin off. Not before, she hoped. And she prayed Dallas wouldn’t be back from the office by then. She just might have to go for a little drive afterward—to compose herself.
She backed out of the garage and turned the car toward the shelter, feeling as if she was going to the gallows.
* * *
When they pulled into the driveway of the women’s shelter a few minutes later, Austin pointed out the window. “That’s where me and Mama live, right?”
“It sure is. I bet your mama is watching out the window for you.”
“And you live here too. Right, Miss Danae?”
“No. You know where I live, silly. Where you stayed in the room with the green curtains?” Austin had been taken with the green-and-white chevron curtains in the blue-painted nursery. He’d said they looked like dinosaur teeth. She smiled, remembering.
He tilted his head and studied her reflection in the rearview mirror. “Miss Danae, what’s so funny?”
She shot him a smile. “You are, buddy. Now let’s go see your mom.”
She parked the car along the edge of the drive. Someone had plowed the driveway and shoveled the sidewalks and stairs. She took a deep breath, steeling herself, feeling a strange mixture of sadness and relief.
She went around to unbuckle Austin from the car seat.
She took his hand and reminded him to look both ways before crossing the driveway. Once across, he scrambled up the steps to the porch.
“Be careful on the steps. They might be slippery.”
“I get to push the button. Me!”
“Yes. Good for you for remembering.” She was surprised he knew about the security alarm.
She pressed in the code and lifted him up to push the entry key. Once the lock released, she opened the door and waited for him to climb over the threshold.
“Mama?” He tore down the hall to the family room where he and Misty had been staying, but his mother didn’t answer. Not knowing where Misty was, Danae called him back.
He turned and gave her an inquisitive look.
“Hang on, bud. I’m not sure if your mom is in your room or out in the dayroom. Let’s go check.”
She scooped him up and carried him down to the office to check in and see who was working today.
Mary, the director, looked up from the desk. “Hi there.”
“Hi. Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”
“I did. Too short though. How about you?”
“It was good, thanks.”
“And how about you, young man?” Mary rose and reached across the desk to squeeze the toe of Austin’s boot.
He buried his face in Danae’s shoulder and her heart squeezed tighter. “Is Misty back?”
Mary shook her head. “Not yet.”
Danae looked at the clock over the desk. “She hasn’t called?” It was five o’clock, and after not being able to reach Misty, she’d purposely waited till a little later in the afternoon, so Austin wouldn’t be disappointed.
“Not yet. Berta’s doing the night shift tonight, and I called Renee to come in, but we’re shorthanded till she gets here. Would you mind staying until Misty gets back?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll wait with him. I have her sister’s number, where she was staying. I’ll see if I can reach someone there and find out when they left. I think her brother was bringing her back.”
Two hours later, Danae was still waiting. And no one was answering the sister’s phone.
“I’m not sure what to do here,” Mary said. “We don’t have any other contact numbers for her. Would you be willing—since you already have the medical forms and Misty’s permission—to take him home again tonight? Or, if you’d rather, stay here with him? We don’t have the staff to watch him in case she doesn’t show up until late.”
Danae looked at the clock again. “Let me try to call one more time.” She wasn’t sure she could go through the agony of doing the one-last-time routine again tomorrow. And what would Dallas say? She needed to call him.
She dialed the sister’s number, but didn’t bother leaving a message when it went to voice mail this time.
Austin sat at a small table in the corner of the office, coloring with some markers Mary had hunted up for him. He seemed unconcerned that his mother hadn’t showed up yet. It made Danae sad that he would be so cavalier about her tardiness.
She went into the entry to call Dallas without being overheard. She’d called him around six to let him know she was waiting on Misty, but hadn’t talked to him since.
He answered on the first ring. “Hey, babe. How are you doing?”
“Are you still at work?”
“No, I’m home now. Are you on your way?”
“Yes, but . . . there’s a complication.”
“What do you mean?”
“Misty still isn’t back.”
“Oh? And let me guess—you want to wait till she gets there?”
“Actually, we’ve been trying to get hold of her sister for hours. No one’s answering and Misty hasn’t called the shelter.” She explained about them being shorthanded. “They’re suggesting I bring Austin home with me and let him stay the night. I can bring him back tomorrow.”
“Danae . . .”
“I know. It was hard enough saying good-bye today. But, I wouldn’t feel right leaving him here. Mary’s nervous about having him here with such a slim staff. It’s just her and Renee, until Berta gets here later. Would you rather I stay here with him?”
He sighed heavily into the phone. “It’s up to you. I don’t care if you want to keep him another night. As long as that’s OK with Misty.”
“We can’t reach her. That’s the whole problem.”
“Oh. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Another sigh, then, “Yeah, bring him back here. That’s fine.”
“Thanks. I’ll have to pack him up again, but we should be home in half an hour or so.”
“OK. Do you need supper?”
“I’ll stop and pick up fast food on the way home. Or a pizza. Have you eaten?”
“Not really. Pizza sounds good.”
“OK. Pizza party it is.”
“Be careful. It’s supposed to sprinkle and the roads could be slick.”
“I will.”
She started to hang up, but Dallas spoke her name.
“What?”
“You don’t think she’s . . . trying to dump Austin, do you?”
She hadn’t let herself think about that possibility yet, but the longer they waited on Misty with no word . . . It did happen sometimes. Even with mothers who loved their children. Sometimes things simply grew too overwhelming.
But she said, “I really don’t think so. She loves him, Dallas. I can tell she does.”
18
Good night, buddy. You sure you don’t have to go pee again?” Dallas held the blanket a few inches from Austin’s chin, waiting for a final tuck.
“I already did. ’Sides, I gots a push-
up on.”
He hid a smile. “I know, buddy, but the goal is to wake up with a dry Pull-Up, OK?”
Austin nodded, looking like he was in trouble, and Dallas wished he hadn’t said anything. He’d been a little alarmed that a three-year-old—almost three and a half now—still had to wear diapers to bed, but Danae assured him it wasn’t unusual. A lot of kids—boys especially—still peed the bed long past toddlerhood. Thank goodness for the miracle called Pull-Ups. Even if they did cost a small fortune.
“Night-night, Mr. Dallas.”
“See you in the morning.” They’d fallen easily back into the routine of the past four nights. Dallas turned to leave and reached to pull the door almost closed.
“Wait!”
“What is it, Austin?”
“What if my mama gets back there and she doesn’t know where I am?”
He went to sit on the edge of the bed again. “She’ll know where you are. Miss Danae told everyone who works there, and she left a message with your uncle and aunt.” About a dozen of them, in fact. And still, they hadn’t heard a word from Misty. Something was fishy, and he didn’t like it.
“OK.” Austin’s thumb went to his mouth, but he stayed in bed, under the covers.
Dallas could tell the boy sensed something was going on. How could he not?
Danae had done bath and Pull-Up duty and was downstairs trying to contact Misty again. Dallas found her on hold on her cell phone in the kitchen. She shook her head with a frown. “Nobody’s answering anywhere,” she mouthed.
He went to the fridge to get a glass of iced tea and poured one for Danae too.
He set it in front of her, and she hung up and gave a little growl of frustration. “Where could she be?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know, but she’d better have a good excuse for bailing on us like this.”
“You’d think she’d at least call to check on Austin. She has to know he’s wondering where she is.”
“Maybe she thought we’d cover for her.”
“I’m not going to lie to him.”
“Do you think she does though? Lies?” He hadn’t been around Misty as much as Danae had, but somehow the woman hadn’t struck him as a bastion of truth and integrity. But then, maybe she’d learned to lie to protect herself and Austin from her monster of a husband.
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