by Lisa Olsen
“I intend to.”
My eyes popped open at the unfamiliar voice and I scooted back with a shriek as I spotted Azazael lying there in my bed. “What the hell are you doing here?” I clutched the sheets to my chest, even though I wasn’t wearing anything particularly revealing. The cold weather found me in soft knit pajamas.
“I thought I’d come to you this time, my love.”
“Don’t call me that.” How had he managed to get into my bedroom?
“Alright then, blossom. I could feel you calling me across time and space… I know you’ve been very lonely of late, I came to comfort you.”
An inelegant snort left my lips. “I don’t need your comforting, thank you very much. Now get out of my bed before I call Sam in here, and he plays shish kabob with your private parts.”
“Go ahead if you feel the need to, but I would never harm you, my love.” He seemed nonplussed by my threats, and not needing any further motivation, I yelled at the top of my lungs.
“Sam! Sam can you come in here please? Like now!” There was no response. “What did you do to him?”
“Why, not a thing, I have only great respect for Samael. I would never harm him… unless I had to,” he cautioned.
“Then why…? Sam? Are you out there?”
“I believe he’s otherwise occupied.” With a wave of his hand my bedroom wall disappeared and I could see Sam sitting on the couch, raptly watching the cartoon network with the sound turned all the way down, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. And that’s when I realized it was all a dream, I’d made it into the Ether and he’d pounced on the opportunity. Relaxing a little, I gave him a shove which sent him a bit closer to the edge of the bed, but not much.
“How did you get in here? Was my message the other day not clear enough? I’m never having sex with you, so you can stop haunting my dreams and bothering my friends. I saw through you as soon as you opened your mouth.”
His mouth opened and closed without saying anything as he digested that last bit. “I’m sorry, how do you mean?”
“That thing with Mitch. I know it was you, and it didn’t work, so you can knock it off. I’m sorry you’re trapped and you got the short end of the stick, but it has nothing to do with me.”
He began to laugh. “You are a delightful creature, such imagination! Do you believe I came to you in the world and I let you… shoot me down? I assure you, I do not give up so easily,” he leaned closer, stalking me like a panther. The sheet slipped and I saw he wore white silk pajama bottoms, so sheer I could see through them, and I quickly looked away. His voice soon commanded my attention as he loomed over me. “I will never let you go, Merceline. We are destined to be together, you and I.”
Panic flared, but an idea came to me. Within moments, I pressed a sharp knife where it counted most and had the satisfaction of watching his eyes widen in surprise. “Wanna bet?” I grinned in triumph and he halted in his advance, his voice strained.
“Where did that come from?”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve seen every single Nightmare on Elm Street movie there is, including the remake. You don’t have power over me here. Now fuck off, or I’ll change your destiny in a way you’ve never imagined.”
Instead his body flexed and the knife disappeared from my fingers. Azazael towered over me, forcing me back against the bed, his face blazing with anger. “Do you think to threaten me, woman?”
“You can’t force me and you know it! You need my love for it to work.” I clung to the convention, hoping like hell it was true.
“What better way to procure your love than to fulfill your earthly desires.” His lips descended upon mine and I turned my head away. Undeterred, he pressed a kiss to my collarbone, slowly moving lower. I shoved with all of my might but I couldn’t budge him one bit. “Adamiel!” I screamed, willing him to join me in the nightmare with every fiber of my being. Azazael froze for a moment, his head tilting to one side as he listened for something I couldn’t hear, but then the terrible grin returned to his face. “Perhaps he has other pressing matters to attend to? Don’t worry, my love, I will wipe all traces of Adamiel from your thoughts. His head bent to my breast and I grabbed a handful of his long hair and pulled. Hard.
“Get off of me!” A flash of blinding white light erupted between us as my Grace finally kicked in. I had barely enough time to wonder if it would work on an angel as I scrambled out from under him, but scant seconds later he was on me, shoving me against the wall and trapping me there with his body.
“Perhaps I have erred in my treatment of you. Perhaps you need to be broken.” Azazael grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head back painfully, forcing me to look up at him. “I know many delightful games, my love. I will teach you to fear me and from that fear will come love.”
Utterly trapped, I tried to look around for anything that could be used as a weapon. Even if I hit him again with my Grace, where would I go? It was a cinch Sam wouldn’t hear us from the other room since he wasn’t really there in dreamland. For whatever reason Adam wasn’t coming, I was completely on my own. An idea came to me, it was risky as hell and I had no idea if it would work or not, but I was running out of options.
Another knife materialized in my hand and Azazael sneered. “Silly little fool, I told you that won’t work on me here.”
“It’s not for you, it’s for me.” I plunged the knife into my thigh in one swift movement. Let me tell you, that’s harder than it sounds, when every survival instinct in your body is to avoid that kind of suffering. The gamble paid off, and my cry of pain followed me into the real world as I awoke in my bed, my body covered in a sheen of sweat, the knife still clutched in my fingers as my leg bled all over my pristine, white sheets.
The same preservation factor made it hard to pull the knife out; all I wanted to do was will it away but no such luck, being back in reality. It came out much slower than it went in, the shaking of my hand making it worse before it got better and the rush of fresh blood as I pulled it out was alarming. With an effort I let go of the knife, my fingers stiff from gripping it so tightly and tried to muster enough Grace to heal my leg. With a whimper I laid my hand above my thigh, but I couldn’t concentrate enough to focus the Grace.
Sam burst in to stare at me in shock and all I could think to do was scold him for coming in without knocking. “You’re not supposed to be in here…”
“What have you done?”
“…without knocking.” I fell back against the pillow weakly. The pain was starting to fade, but I hadn’t done anything to heal the wound. Dimly, I wondered if that was a bad thing.
Sam was quick to kneel beside the bed, laying his hands over my bleeding thigh. “You were making strange sounds,” he murmured, his eyes slipping closed as he brought forth his Grace.
“I was having a nightmare.” I couldn’t say anything else after that because the pain flared as my wound knit together at super speed, until he flopped on the end of the bed, satisfied with the result and we stared at each other, each trying to regain our breath for different reasons.
“Nightmares are bad?” he blinked, and I couldn’t help but give a shallow laugh. I forgot he’d probably never had one since he didn’t ever sleep.
“Yeah, that was a bad one in particular.”
“I expect so,” he considered aloud. “Perhaps you should not keep weapons in your bed if you are prone to nightmares?”
“It wasn’t here when I went to bed, I brought it with me from the Ether.” I felt a little stronger and sat up higher in the bed. My leg was all sticky with rapidly cooling blood, but my skin looked smooth and healthy when I peeked through the hole in my pants. So much for those pajamas…
“That is most curious. I have never heard of anything being brought across the planes like that before.” A furrow appeared on his brow as he puzzled through it.
“You said to be careful what I did in the Ether, right? It might affect things here? That was what I gambled on when I stabbed myself.”
> “You stabbed yourself on purpose?” His head canted to one side.
“Trust me, it was the lesser of two evils, the other being Azazael. You were way off the mark about him by the way. You said he wouldn’t force me, that he needed me to give him my love freely or something like that, didn’t you?”
“Yes, those are the conditions of the prophecy.”
“He must have forgotten to read the fine print, because he was all about the forcing.” My scalp still felt sore from where he’d grabbed my hair and I rubbed at it absently.
“Azazael assaulted you?” Sam lost all traces of the lovable innocence I was accustomed to, his blue eyes blazing with resolve as they had in the restaurant with Ubel.
“He tried to, but I got away with that knife trick. Honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again,” I sighed, tiredly.
Sam rose to his feet, no signs of fatigue in his stance. “I am truly sorry, Mercy. I underestimated the level of degradation to which he has fallen. I had known him to be given to certain excesses, but I still labored under the assumption he was the brother I once knew. I can no longer sit idly by while he places you in such torment.” Whatever he had in mind it didn’t look pleasant from the look on his face.
“Wait, what are you going to do?”
“I can’t go where he is imprisoned, but since he has made the Ether his hunting ground, I will pursue him there and end this.”
It sounded good in theory, but why hadn’t he tried that before? “Just like that? How are you going to get him to stop?”
“It will not be easy,” his face clouded. “I may be gone for some time, and I do not like leaving you unprotected.”
“Hey, I’d rather have you deal with Azazael, I can take care of myself here.” At least I hoped so, but there hadn’t been an attack on the demon front for a little while. “Do you want me to come with you? You know, as bait.”
I didn’t think he’d go for it, but Sam actually appeared to consider it. “It will be difficult to find him in that plane without being called, but I do not wish to place you in danger. Promise me you will be careful while I am gone.”
It was a relief not to confront Azazael again so soon, even with angelic back up. I was still pretty shaken up about our last encounter. “Yeah, of course. I’ll stick to crowds and I’ll have Ben come pick me up after work tonight.” Of course I still hadn’t talked to Ben after our last argument…
“Take care, Mercy.” Sam leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. “I will not rest until I find him and make him pay for his treatment of you.”
“You take care too, Sam.” I caught his hand before he pulled away. “He’s not playing fair, so you can’t count on any bond you might have had before. Whatever he was before the fall, that guy is evil to the core now, so watch your back.” Sam nodded, and with a last long look, he was gone.
There was no way in hell I’d get back to sleep that night, so I stumbled into the shower, washing away the last vestiges of the nightmare. My bed wasn’t so easily taken care of though, and I was glad I had my own stackable washer and dryer and wouldn’t have to make the trip to the Laundromat to wash out all the blood. By the time I got cleaned up and settled in on the couch, I noticed I had seven missed calls from the same unlisted number with no messages. Having a good idea who might be on the other end, I dialed the number, not at all surprised when the line clicked open with no response.
“It’s me,” I spoke into the silence. “You’re probably wondering what happened since I called you in the Ether, but… I don’t know, Adam. You didn’t come. I needed you and you weren’t there for me.” My voice broke at that last as I remembered the panic I’d felt when I called his name. “You might think you’re protecting me, but you blew it this time. I was this close to being…” I swallowed, taking a deep breath as I tried to steady my nerves.
“I don’t know what this passive aggressive phone call that isn’t a phone call thing is about, but stop calling me if you don’t want to be a part of my life. I need someone I can count on. I need someone who puts me first every now and again in the real world. Goodbye, Adam.” I waited long seconds before I hung up, hoping against hope he’d say something, but there was nothing but dead air. With a beep, I broke the connection, and I sat there, staring at nothing in particular until I saw the sun peek over the horizon outside my sliding glass door to the patio.
Wrapping my soft, fuzzy blanket around me, I stepped out onto the patio, Mimsy close on my heels, eager for a little outside time. It was cold, bracingly so, but I welcomed it, I needed the breath of fresh air. By the time I was ready to come in, I knew what I had to do. Despite the early hour, I dialed the one person who’d been begging me to let him in the whole time and who I’d been resisting. Ben answered on the second ring.
“Hey, are you still talking to me?” There was a note of hope mixed with apology in my voice and I waited to see what kind of mood I’d find him in.
“Mercy, I didn’t think you were ever conscious at this hour of the day.”
Ben sounded guarded, and I couldn’t blame him. He probably wondered what horrible thing I was going to tell him next. “Yeah well, I’ve been up for so long this actually feels kind of like midday to me, so…”
“Long night, huh?”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I muttered, but that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to him about. I was tired of always calling him with a ‘poor me’ story. I realized I had no idea what was going on in his life right now except for the parts that revolved around me. More than anything I wanted to get back to that place we’d been before all the craziness erupted. That place where we were a normal guy and girl living normal lives and the only demons we wrestled with were personal ones. “Look, the reason I’m calling is, I wanted to apologize for things. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and maybe I haven’t made the best decisions, but…”
“No, I shouldn’t have left like that, you were right, we should have talked it out,” he interrupted, and my heart swelled with happiness to hear him meet me half way.
“It’s a lot to deal with, I get that. And even more than that, I should have told you everything a lot sooner and about Sam being here and… I’m sorry the way things turned out. I’ve been thinking…” I paused, taking a deep breath before taking the plunge. “I was thinking maybe you were right. Maybe I should come and stay with you for a while, if the offer still stands.”
“Of course you can!” The enthusiasm in his voice made me smile, I should have done it long before. What was I letting hold me back from loving him? “Do you want me to come and get you?”
“No, I can manage to get a few things together on my own and I’ll need my car to get to work tonight. How about I come over after work? Or is that too late?”
“No, I’ll wait up for you, no problem. You know me, I can sleep in bits and pieces. It’ll be good to see you again, Mercy, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too,” I replied, blinking rapidly through the swell of relief those words brought me. Our relationship was strong enough to weather a few hiccups along the way and that knowledge made me feel something in short supply of late. Safe. “I’ll see you later tonight then.”
“See you then. And Mercy, I’m so glad you came around.”
I was going to take control of my life even if it killed me. Oh sure, I planned to stick to crowds at night like I’d promised, and hope that Sam could keep Azazael off my back at night so I could sleep someday again, but for the rest of it, I was tired of living in fear. No more using my angelic gifts to stick my nose into other people’s lives like I had with Parker, and no more half conversations with Ben. I was going for full disclosure from then on. No more doomed fantasies about an angel that was out of reach by his design. If Adam didn’t want to spend his life with me, I wasn’t going to wait around indefinitely in the hopes he might change his mind and throw me a bone. I was ready to start the rest of my life with Ben and make a real commitment to him.
Only
I never made it there.
Chapter Eight
I have to admit, I was a little wigged out at the thought of going out into the parking lot by myself after work without Sam around, I’d gotten pretty used to him there as my constant shadow. I thought about asking Parker to walk me to my car, but Sharona was there hanging all over him, and I wasn’t going to stick my nose into that. Instead I tried something new. Waiting until I had a moment alone by the exit, I focused on making myself imperceptible. While I had no idea if it worked on demons at all, it somehow felt safer having people walk right by without taking any notice of me. I slipped out the door, growing bolder with each step when nothing jumped out of the shadows at me.
With a whispered prayer, I started the engine, patting the dash affectionately as the little car roared to life. Maybe things were turning in my favor? I sang along with the radio on the way to Ben’s, looking forward to making things up to him in more ways than one. Worrying about Azazael trying to force himself into my life by possessing Ben was a stupid fear. I wasn’t going to give up sex for the rest of my life just because of that possibility, was I? I’d be able to tell it was Ben, we had too many shared experiences for Azazael to impersonate him with any kind of accuracy. Maybe we could even work out some kind of signal, so I could always know it was him?
I had to park down the street since someone was already in his extra parking spot and I didn’t have the clicker thing for the garage door. I admit, as I fiddled with the keys, I did have a few moments of trepidation as I fumbled with the lock. The second I found the right key, I scooted inside.
“Hey, Ben?” Ben’s townhouse was three levels, with the garage on the ground floor, the living room in the middle and two bedrooms on the top floor. I set the deadbolt and turned the alarm system on right behind me out of habit, I knew he was big on home security, probably normal for a cop.
