I’ve never been to counseling before. I’m a typical guy who doesn’t want to admit to needing or wanting help. This experience wasn’t too bad, maybe because it wasn’t focused on me.
It took some time, but Valerie even agrees her problems are far bigger than me. She’s settled enough that she and her doctor told me I could leave. After apologies on my end, and hers, we’re both ready to move on. I’m ready to get back home to Dina and see what the future holds for us.
There is so much left unsaid between the two of us. I’m nervous as I board the plane to head back home. I’m ready for us to put the distractions of everyone else behind us and sort out our relationship.
Dina offers to pick me up at the airport, which, I hope, is a good sign. My flight arrives a little after eleven in the evening, North Carolina time. I’m hoping there are no delays because I don’t want to spend one more day away from her.
Dina and I need to talk before she takes me home. I need to express how deep my feelings for her run. I have all intentions of being with her and having her in my bed. Given all that she has been through, I need her to understand what she means to me before anything goes any further.
Her picking me up is a good sign. Has she forgiven me for not telling her about Valerie sooner? Does she understand that I’ve changed?
Chapter Nine
Ready For It
Dina
I’m far from being the old me. I’m not feeling lost and weak anymore. I may not be Wonder Woman, but I’m strong once again. I may not have broken free from Michael’s hold on me alone, but I’ve picked myself up and moved on with life. Not every man is as messed up as Michael, this I know to my soul.
My dad is a perfect example. I can’t recall one time he ever raised his voice at me or my mom. He had a stern tone that let you know he was far from pleased and that is all it took. He didn’t rule our house with an iron fist.
Maggie once told me that a girl’s first example of love comes from how her dad treats her mom. I can now say this is completely true. I want nothing less for myself then the kind of love my parents were able to share during their 25 years together, before the accident. Sometimes I think to myself, their love must have been so strong, they needed to spend eternity together; without spending time apart on earth, as if one had passed before the other. Although, I miss them terribly, I’m glad they got to stay together.
If my parents hadn’t passed away, I’d like to think that I never would have put up with Michael’s need to control or his insults. The stuff that happened long before he ever hit me would not have been tolerated by me or my family. Their support would’ve allowed me to see through the cloud of darkness I was engulfed in with him.
I’ve allowed myself to be lost in the illusions of what I felt life is supposed to be for far too long. It’s not about what ideas I have on what my life should be without my parents. It’s about living and being present in every single moment. I managed to graduate college, with the accident turning my world upside down. I’ve survived Michael and put my life back together. Maggie and I have built a successful business. Now it’s time for me to get out there and live life, no more merely going through the motions. Time to enjoy myself and stop living for what can’t come back to me.
After having been apart these last few weeks, I can’t wait to see Ryder tonight. I told him I would pick him up because I didn’t want to wait another day to see him.
The past is just that: the past. Ryder is my future, and I’m ready for it.
I dress for tonight with one thing in mind: seduction. I know Ryder loves blacks and grays. Tonight, I dress in my favorite all lace charcoal gray panties and matching strapless bra. Maggie helped me pick out a spaghetti strap, body hugging dress, with a dip and gray trim around the breasts; which enhances my already noticeable cleavage. I wear my hair down, no jewelry, and my favorite gray peep toe heels. Oh yes, I’m dressed for sex tonight. Now, time to go get my man, and give him a night we’ll both never forget.
I contemplate taking one of the older cars, but decide the Mustang will be best since it’s reliable. No break downs needed from the antiques when tonight is so important. I arrive at the airport a little early and I find where he will come out and anxiously await.
I sense him before I actually see him. He is wearing his usual t-shirt and jeans, his hair is a little longer and I imagine running my fingers through it. He is carrying his duffel bag, so there’s no need for baggage claim after all.
Just looking at him, my stomach tightens, as I feel the liquid pooling in my panties. He approaches, and I can sense he’s anxious. I decide now is the time for my inner diva to be in control.
I walk right up to him, and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him towards me. I kiss him with everything I have, refusing to hold anything back. He takes a minute before dropping his bag and wrapping his arms around me. As I pull him even closer to me, he slowly begins to move his hands down my back and sides, towards my hips, before gently cupping my ass; causing me to moan from the sheer pleasure of his touch. I’m more than ready to take him here and now. I don’t even care who is around and watches, I’m so lost in my passion for him. I need this man. He gently pulls away, leaving me whimpering in want.
“Dina, baby, whoa, lets breathe for a minute. I want you so bad, but not here, not like this. You’re my future, you’re everything to me. We have all the time in the world baby. Let’s get out of here so we can talk.”
I realize that he’s right, no I don’t want this here and, well, we are supposed to talk; but I hope the talking happens later...way later.
We get to my car and head off to his house. He keeps his hand on my thigh, gently massaging my leg the entire ride. We arrive at Ryder’s house, I unbuckle my seat belt. Before I can open my door he stops me.
“Can we talk out here, Sunshine? I’m afraid if I have you inside my house, we won’t get a chance to talk. I’m fighting to keep my hands to myself as it is. You look unbelievably irresistible.”
I smile a seductive grin. “Sure thing Ryder, but just so long as you know I will end up inside your house with you. I want this, I want you.” I wanted to add ‘with you inside me’, but I didn’t.
As he starts to talk, my impatience takes over. I climb over the gear shift in my car and on to his lap. I already had the passenger seat slid all the way back, knowing he would need the leg room riding in my car. I straddle him, sliding my dress up so I wouldn’t be restricted; allowing my panties to peek out just a bit to tease him. I know we need to talk, but he’s been gone for weeks. I want nothing more than to be lost with him, to forget everything that has led to this moment and just give in to the passion.
Before Ryder has a chance to react to anything, I put my finger across his mouth, “Shhhhh, Ryder, I plan to be a distraction no matter where we are. The past is the past, the future is right here in front of us. I want to be with you and, right now, I don’t want to talk. I want to be lost with you.”
With that, I come down hard on his mouth, kissing him with all the passion inside of me. His hands immediately come up on me. He starts rubbing my sides and hips, as I move my hands through his hair. The house is right in front of us, but I can’t stop myself. I’ll be damned if I don’t let go of all my reservations and be with him right this minute. He moves his hands up, bringing my dress up, leaving my ass and panties out on display. He cups my ass, sliding me forward up against him. I can feel his erection through his jeans. I rock my hips, that friction alone is enough to make me thoroughly wet and aching with need.
I reach my hands down to pull off his t-shirt. As the shirt comes over his head, I use the break in kissing to move down to his neck. I take my time to gently kiss, suck, lick, and nip at his neck and shoulders. He moves the straps of my dress down and groans when he gets a glimpse of my lacy bra.
I begin to take in all his tattoos, licking my way over the dragon that covers his right shoulder, half his chest and side of his neck. I gently kiss at the tattoo on his rib that is w
ritten in script there is nothing to fear but fear itself, conquer it all.
The confines of my car are forcing us to maintain full contact. I still can’t get enough. I feel like I’m ready to explode in need, passion, desire, and all-consuming love. He unhooks my bra, releasing my breasts. He massages one breast in his hand as he brings his mouth down hard and fast on the other nipple. He is licking and sucking one, while massaging and tugging the other. When he switches to give each breast equal attention, I cry out in pleasure.
As I lean over to recline his seat back, he brings his hand down to my panties. I begin to kiss his stomach and chest, he slides my panties off to one side, his hands finding my sensitive mound. As his fingers explore my slick folds, he begins a slow tease with his tongue on my neck. I could combust right here. He inserts one finger inside me; I begin to tremble in the pleasure and passion between us.
Ryder calls out breathlessly. “Oh baby, you are so wet and tight. Killing me softly, Dina, you’re killing me softly, Sunshine.”
As he adds a second finger stretching me; I become lost in my own sensations. I know I’m close to climax as he continues working me. When he takes my nipple in his mouth, it pushes me over the edge. My whole body is shaking from the intensity of it all. He removes his fingers, licking my essence left behind.
As I recover from my orgasm, I reach down to undo his jeans and push them down. I take him eagerly in my hands, loving the way he feels. I gently stroke him, as I feel his abdominal muscles tighten, it encourages me to continue. I slowly kiss and lick my way down his stomach. It is a tight squeeze being the passenger seat of my car, but I manage to move my way down to the floor board, his erection now in my face. I look at it, feeling a little intimidated at how he’s going to fit inside me. It’s not just that Ryder is long, he is thick too. It’s no wonder women can’t get enough of him. I start licking his shaft as I work up to the head; using my hand, I gently cup and massage his balls.
I barely hear Ryder over the sound of my own heart beat as he speaks. “Dina, baby, you don’t have to.”
I laugh lightly over him, as I fully take him in my mouth. I’m sure to be careful with my teeth over his dick as I go up and down, gently sucking. Ryder is moaning and holding onto my seat, letting me know he is trying to stay in control.
After a few more moments, he reaches over, gently brushing my arm, “Dina, if you don’t stop I’m going to make a mess. I really don’t want to come in your mouth. Baby, please.”
Feeling his seriousness, I pull back. I take a minute to lick around the head. Before I begin to kiss my way back up to his neck. Climbing back on his lap, I gently guide his cock to my slick entrance. As I slide down onto him, letting him fill me, I whisper, “I want you so much Ryder.”
I cry out in pleasure as my body stretches to accommodate his size. As I am giving my body a chance to adjust, Ryder moves my face to his. He grips my hips firmly to keep me still. Making me look into his eyes he asks, “Dina, baby, are you sure you want this here?”
For a moment I’m hurt, thinking he doesn’t really want me, even as I feel him growing bigger inside me. Sensing my thoughts, he adds, “I want you more than anything, Sunshine. My bed is right inside though. We can go in the house. I want to make love to you properly.”
With that, I slowly start moving on him, as I whisper, “I need you Ryder; right here, right now. You can spend the rest of the night making love to me inside, but please, baby, right now give me what we’ve both waited for, what my body needs and craves. Ryder, please.”
With that, he starts moving gently under me, the seat restricting us both. The confines forcing him in rhythm with me. I feel my body tighten, and I feel my inner muscles begin to work on their own to grip and milk him. I know I’m close again. When Ryder reaches down with his thumb, making gentle circles on my clit pushing me into ecstasy. I call out his name, as my entire body shakes. As the aftershocks run through me, I feel him push into me even deeper, as he pulls me close, I feel the warmth of his hot seed spreading inside of me. As we both come down from our intense orgasms, Ryder holds me close, rubbing my back. My body is still trembling with pleasure. Ryder is still inside me; we lay in one another’s arms as we calm our breathing. He gently rubs my hair, bringing me down as both of us try to get our bodies under control.
After a few minutes of recovery, I slowly pull myself away from Ryder. I pull my dress straps up over my shoulders, putting my top back in place. I open the car door, pulling my panties back on the other leg and up, pulling my dress down as I get out. Quickly, I lean in to retrieve my bra from the floor board to put back on later. This is by far the most incredible sex of my life. Since I don’t know what to say to Ryder, or what he’s thinking, I decide to remain quiet as I put myself back together.
I watch as Ryder pulls up his pants and climbs out of the car. He stretches and as he does so, he brings his arms down, embracing me. He pulls me to him, whispering in my ear, “I’m glad my neighbors aren’t awake.”
I blush thinking, ‘oh my goodness, me too.’ He reaches into the car, grabbing his duffel bag, but leaves his shirt off as he gets ready to go inside. Deciding I don’t think he plans for me to be in his house, I start to walk around to the driver’s side of the car. Before I can get out of his reach, he laces his fingers into mine and directs me to his front porch.
Once inside, he leans down and thoroughly kisses me. He takes me by the hand, giving me a quick tour of the downstairs. His house is more than twice the size of mine. He shows me a large living room, with a huge TV mounted to the wall that was hooked up to multiple gaming systems and surround sound. He has a formal dining room that is completely empty.
The family room is a great size, with a beautiful fireplace and French doors opening to a back deck and what I think looks like a barbeque area, and a hot tub off to the other side. The room itself is empty, with the exception of an oversized sectional sofa.
There is a den that is his home office space. In comparison to his work office, this one seems organized but I really think it’s just because it’s all bare.
He takes me into his massive kitchen, all the while studying my face almost as if waiting for a reaction from me.
As I stand here, my hand in his, I can hear my mom in my head. “The kitchen is the heart of every home.”
I inwardly smile, ‘yes mom, you’re right and this is a dream kitchen.’ I take in the six burner, with a built in griddle stove top. The burners and griddle all inset in the center island that is also equipped with a prep area and its own sink. He has double ovens, his dishwasher and refrigerator are all stainless steel against black cabinets and granite counter tops. There is even a built in wine cooler. To cook in this kitchen would be amazing.
He gives me a half grin, “Are you ready to see the upstairs, Sunshine?”
‘Yes, please. What have we been waiting for?’ I silently say to myself.
We make our way upstairs; Ryder doesn’t waste any time with showing me his other bedrooms or guest bathroom; he takes me straight to the master suite.
The room is huge and the vaulted ceilings make it feel even bigger. The only furniture in the room is a dresser, two night stands, and a California king sized bed. As we enter the room I see two doors to the left that are what I assume to be closets. Ryder pulls me to him before I can take in anymore, brushing his lips ever so lightly to mine.
He slowly pulls away, “How about a shower?”
Going to a door on the opposite side of the room from the entrance, we make our way into a bathroom that is bigger than my bedroom. There are separated sides with a his and her individual sinks and vanity areas. Centered in the middle is a raised Jacuzzi tub larger than I ever thought possible.
He takes me by the hand leading me over the custom shower. He reaches in setting the water temperature and starting the four showerheads. He looks at me so intensely and then slowly begins placing gentle kisses over my face, neck and shoulders. He unzips my dress and removes it, taking my panties off as w
ell. It feels strange standing here naked before him, but I’m not insecure like I thought I would be. His shirt is still off from our time in the car, and he quickly removes his pants and boxers. We enter the shower. He begins to run his fingers through my hair, getting it thoroughly wet.
He sighs. “I can’t believe you’re actually here with me right now.”
I turn to face him and wrap my arms around his waist, not knowing what to say.
“Dina. You. Are. So. Beautiful.” He draws out each word as he places feather kisses across my cheeks, nose, and jaw.
He tilts my head up to him and kisses me. Pulling away softly, he goes to the task of our shower. Slowly, delicately, and deliberately, he washes my hair and my body. I feel as if he is trying to memorize every inch of me. As he moves around, I enjoy watching all of his amazing body. I want him so badly, but he seems to need this slow, shared intimacy; not just sex.
We are both thoroughly washed and content. I’m beginning to feel a little pruned when he turns the water off. He steps out wrapping a towel around his waist from the warming rack. He then wraps me in a warm towel, holding me close. He kisses me slowly, as he dries my body off. There is so much emotion filled in these moments. I feel myself swelling inside with intensity for this man; I don’t know what to think as I feel my emotions swelling out of control.
As he leads me to his bed, I glance at the clock realizing it is almost three in the morning. He guides me down to the bed. I have never felt so connected to anyone. My heart feels so full with love. I feel so safe and at peace for the first time since my parents died.
He pulls me up against him, holding me close. Contentment and the feeling of completion engulf me. The exhaustion of our passion over takes me and I fall into a blissful sleep. Never before, have I felt so cherished. I realize this is home for me, being with him, and I am so madly, deeply in love with this man.
Love and Repair Series Box Set Page 9
