“Jake,” I manage to say out loud as he is kissing my neck.
“Angel, no talking right now. Just let me love you, please.”
I nod my head in agreement. There is nothing I want more right now then to let him love me. Needing him, wanting him, I put enough space between us to look in his eyes.
“Upstairs, baby, I want us upstairs.” Before I can move, he’s scooped me over his shoulder and we are ascending the stairway.
Jake
Once we make it to our room, I gently lay Kenna on our bed. Slowly, I take in every inch of her. She’s in these old plaid pajama pants and a tank top. Her hair is in a messy knot on the top of her head. Never has she been as beautiful to me as she is in this moment. To be apart, when my heart and my body crave her, has been slowly killing me. I’m going to savor every moment and every inch of her body right now and for as long as I can.
I start by rubbing her feet, planting tender kisses on her ankles. Removing her clothes, I begin to love her entire body, slowly, delicately, deliciously. Massaging my way up her legs, I continue nuzzling and kissing her skin. I bypass her core, for now, giving attention to her flat stomach. Her hands are in my hair, that simple touch driving me wild even while I am still fully clothed. She reaches out to touch me. I laugh as I put her hands above her head.
“Kenna, angel, if you touch me this will be over before I get started. Lay back and let me love you.”
Back to my original path I graze her breasts with my teeth gently. Her body is perfect. As I lean in to caress her breast in one hand, I draw in her nipple with my mouth while my other hand gently grazes between her legs. Just brushing the outer lips of her folds in a teasing manner, she rises up trying to pull my hand in for a stronger friction. I continue suckling her breasts, giving equal attention as I blow, nip, suck, kiss, and caress them, all the while teasing her with long gentle strokes up and down her legs. Tracing feather like touches all over her body, I begin whispering in her ear.
“I love you, Kenna Jean, beyond forever.” Providing light kisses, I continue. “You are where I begin and end. I am everything I am because of you. Without you, I am a shell, hollow and empty, waiting for you to find me again. You are home.”
She is whimpering below me, as she wiggles her body wanting more. I kiss my way south. When I reach her lower stomach, I kiss my way from one hip to the other, blowing gently on her clean shaven middle. I make my way back to her center. Smelling her arousal, I know I have to taste the sweetness that is purely my Kenna. Spreading her with my tongue, I lick her clit. Massaging her legs, I spread them wide, flicking my tongue in and out of her core. She is writhing wildly underneath me. I feel like I am going to explode, the strain in my pants becoming painful against my zipper. I insert my finger with a slow in and out motion, sucking her clit fiercely with my mouth. She’s building, I feel it as I make a come here motion with my finger to hit her special spot; she comes hard and fast shuddering around me. Lost in her body, I’m vaguely aware of that she’s screaming my name as she is trembling through the aftershocks. I gently continue to lick, letting her ride it out. Kissing my way back up to her breasts, massaging her legs, I allow her core a chance to recover.
“Jake, I need you. Please.” She begs.
I can take no more. I have to have my dick in her. Quickly removing my shirt, jeans and boxers I lay back over her. I kiss her with every emotion inside of me. This woman is my angel, to be loved, cherished, and adored. I slowly enter her. She is tight, warm and wet. I pause for a second to gather some self-control before this is over in one shot. I begin moving and set a slow, languid pace. Watching Kenna as she is absorbed in the sensations of our love making, I never want to be without her.
“Faster Jake, please.”
Never breaking my rhythm, pulling all the way out to the tip and slowly going back into the hilt, I answer. “No, Angel, I am going to slowly love you. Let it build baby.”
“Oh, Jake, Oh, Jake, Oh, Jake,” is all Kenna keeps saying.
I feel the need to speed up as my impending climax is coming. I reach between us rubbing Kenna’s clit in circles with my thumb as I pick up my pace. She comes around me, milking my dick as her orgasm hits. Self-control gone, I release over the edge right behind her. Holding her there, while I’m still inside her, I don’t want to move. Kissing her tenderly, I finally withdraw. I pull her in close as I move to my side. She is facing my chest as I tuck her head under my chin.
We lay there silently for I don’t know how long. She’s tracing my tattoos while I rub her hair and back. I love this woman, she is everything to me. I don’t want to be apart from her again like this. We need to talk but neither of us seems ready to break the spell between us from our morning love making.
Kenna’s phone rings, pulling us out of our reverie. She pulls away from me to get it, leaving me feeling empty. I get up as I hear her answer.
“Shit, Chad, I’m sorry, I’m on my way. I overslept.” She hangs up.
“I’m late for work,” is all she says to me as she begins to scramble around. She hops in the shower. I’m left wondering, where we go from here.
Chapter Sixteen
Jake Meet Chad
Kenna
Leaving Jake in such a hurry is hard to do after such a beautiful morning. I should’ve called out of work today. Things still aren’t resolved. Jake’s love for me isn’t the problem. I’ve never questioned whether or not he loves me. Our dreams, our plans, our future isn’t on the same page. Hell, I’m not sure we’re even reading from the same book, but I hope we can get to a place we are both comfortable with.
I arrive at my office to find Chad behind my desk.
“Rough morning, beautiful?” He says concerned.
“I overslept. Thanks for finishing my report this morning.” I mutter, filled with longing to be back home.
“For you, Kenna, anything. Some of us are going out for drinks tonight, you up for it?”
“I don’t know. Can I get back to you on it?” His offer tempts me.
“Sure. We still on for lunch?” Chad asks on his way out the door.
“Of course,” I smile.
The day passes in a blur. I send a quick text to Jake after lunch with Chad.
‘R u working late 2night?’
I’ve decided if he will be working then I will go out with my colleagues. If he’s going to be home, well, I don’t know. I would really like a night out with my work friends. My phone chirps alerting me to a new text from Jake.
‘I need 2. If u need me home tho I’ll b there instead.’
‘No, I’m going to go out with some friends form work so do what u need to.’
*****
Before I’m aware of it, I’m drunk. I only planned to have a beer or two. The shots were lined up and I wanted to let loose. Chad drove me from work to the bar, and has been nursing the same beer all night. Looks like I’ll be leaving my car at work overnight, there’s no way I can drive. At eleven pm, everyone is heading home. I should call Jake to come get me, but Chad offers. Why bother Jake at work when I have a perfectly safe ride right here? I’m glad it’s Friday. Tomorrow morning, I will certainly be facing a hangover from hell, is the last thought I have as I get in Chad’s car.
Jake
Where the hell is she? It’s well past eleven; she’s not home, not answering her phone. I’m pacing the front porch when a car pulls into our driveway.
I stride forcefully to the passenger side of the car, as I realize a very inebriated Kenna is in there. Some preppy guy in a suit walks around the car just as I am picking Kenna up out of her seat.
“You must be Jake. I’m Chad. Kenna and I work together.”
Gruffly, I reply. “Thanks for bringing her home. Goodbye.”
As I carry Kenna to the house, she is slurring over my shoulder. “Th th thank yyyooouuuu fooooorrrrr tooonight Ch Ch Chad. I haaadddd fuunnn I th th th think...”
Jealousy is consuming me. Worry has now turned to rage. Why the hell didn’t she call me t
o come get her? Who is this stuffy, suit wearing, pretty boy?
Kenna is far too drunk to discuss this right now. I put her to bed, then head back downstairs. Sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, I wonder if Chad was the guy Kenna was at lunch with.
Chapter Seventeen
You Need to Mean It
Kenna
Warm. I’m too warm. My head is killing me. Heavy, I feel heavy, weighed down. As I slowly wake up, I realize I’m all tangled in Jake. Trying to move, I wince. My head hurts. Damn, I’m hung-over. I don’t go out often, I’m not what someone would consider much of a drinker, and right now, I easily can swear off alcohol for a lifetime.
Oh shit, I got home late. I never called Jake. I let Chad drive me home. Oh shit. I lay down, taking in my beautiful Jake. His breathing is even, steady, relaxed, calm. How calm will he be when he wakes up?
When I can’t take the dull throbbing in my head anymore I start to get up to go search for pain meds. This movement causes Jake to stir.
“Angel, you okay?” He asks, groggily.
“Headache babe, I’m okay, let’s just lay here.”
Willing him back to sleep and hoping he does so quickly, I lay back down. When I think it’s safe and I feel like my head is going to explode, I hurry out of the bed and downstairs. Finding my purse, I take two Motrin and drink a full glass of water. I’m leaning over the kitchen sink when I feel his eyes on me.
“So, are we going to talk about everything? Hell, are we even going to talk about anything?” He asks, demanding an answer.
Yep, he’s angry. My defenses automatically go up. “We can talk about whatever the hell you want.” I reply a bit more harshly than I originally intended.
“Who is Chad? Why the hell did HE drive you home?” Jakes glare is fierce.
“A coworker, a friend. He wasn’t drunk last night. I was.” Thinking if I keep my answers short and to the point this will be over sooner rather than later.
“You could’ve called me. Damn it. You should’ve called me.” Never breaking his icy stare.
“He was already there. Plus, I thought you would still be at work. That’s where you’ve been most of the time anyway.”
“You know Brayden just got back. Between him being in rehab and Ryder’s time away before that, the shop has been backed up. If you wanted me home more, I would’ve worked it out. You said nothing, as usual, you never tell me anything. When it comes to me, though, you demand nothing less but open honesty.” His tone is now sharp.
“I don’t need you home more.” I snap.
“Then what the hell do you need Kenna? Let’s quit dancing around here. What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Need. Kenna?”
I am definitely dealing with a very angry Jake now. I stare stupidly at him. He knows what I want. Why do I have to beg? I will not humiliate myself by saying it over and over again. Before I can mutter any words, he says it for me.
“You want to be married? Fine Kenna, we’ll get fucking married.” He roars. His hands are in fists on his hips. Pure rage is rolling off of him.
Whispering I manage to say, “Shut up. That’s not how you propose. You don’t mean it. You have to mean it, Jake.” I’m sobbing uncontrollably now as the emotions are overtaking me.
“You just keep pushing, Kenna. I don’t know what to do anymore.” He replies as he slowly calms down.
“We both need to let it go. We’ve spent months hurting each other.” I stammer between sobs.
I walk to the living room, needing to sit down before my knees give out. My entire body shudders as I continue crying. I feel like I’m going to be sick. Jake sits beside me, pulling me into him.
“Shh. Shh. Angel, please calm down. I’m an ass, I’m sorry.” He whispers to me.
I lean into him. He’s rubbing my back in small, soothing circles. Eventually, I drift off to sleep.
Jake
Once I’m certain Kenna’s asleep I lay her down on the couch. Too much adrenaline is in my system so I head to the garage to work out.
Everything about me screams All American good boy. I played football, baseball, joined the Army reserves. I drive an old 1951 Chevy pick -up truck. I like cars, guns, fishing, hunting, hiking, and anything else outdoors. My hang up isn’t commitment, it’s that marriage ends in divorce. It’s knowing that even with the ring, the wedding, the paper, the name, I’m still replaceable. My mom has replaced me my entire life.
My mom. We haven’t heard from her in a while. Maybe it’s time we have a long overdue chat.
Brayden is home from rehab. He’s opened up about his past. As messed up as my childhood was, my mom never wished me dead. She often put me down, considered me baggage, but she never wished me gone for good. She never wished anything truly bad for me. I may not like the decisions she made but she was young and selfish. Looking back now, my mom never put me in a bad situation; I was always taken care of even if I had to pay for it. I could always call her, if I actually needed her. In the back of my mind, I always knew that. Nothing was ever permanent with her though.
When my mom was single, we did share a few good memories. She was between husbands when I was six. The divorce settlement must have been good. My mom and I went to Disneyworld for a week, just the two of us. It’s by far the best memory of my childhood. It was truly magical.
Chapter Eighteen
Rather Unexpected
Kenna
The last six weeks have stayed busy. I’ve started helping Dina and Maggie with some of their events as well as working my full time accounting job. Jake and I are back to normal, well as back to normal as we will probably get. He knows how I feel, I know how he feels, and we are at an impasse.
Chad and I still have lunch together every day. Some days other people join us, most days it’s just us. We talk about everything. Unlike Jake, Chad wants to get married. He’s just not sure his current relationship is the one to take to that level.
I do find Chad handsome. There is an attraction. I could easily be with him, fall into a simple life with him. Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about a future with him. My heart is with Jake though. With Jake, there is electricity, spark, hunger, need, passion, a raw burn inside me to connect to him. There has never been a simple attraction to Jake for me. Could I settle for Chad or someone like him? Yes, but I would be doing just that - settling.
My desire for Jake is unparalleled to anything I could attempt to describe or feel again. It’s always been strong. From the first kiss we shared, my heart finally came alive and really began to beat. That moment, my heart became Jake’s to have and to hold until death do us part, regardless of how he feels about it. So yes, I could be with Chad, of course. Would I be happy with Chad or anyone else for that matter? No, not to the level I am with Jake.
It’s Friday, Chad has invited me out for drinks with our coworkers again. I decline, because I am working with Maggie tonight for a local bar grand opening. I don’t think anything more of it as I go about my day.
The day passes quickly, as most Fridays do. I’m now at the event with Maggie. The place is packed with a line out the door waiting to get in. Just as I’m leaving the pool table area, I bump into someone.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I say as I begin to look upward. Making eye contact, I realize its Chad standing before me.
“Hello, beautiful.”
“Hey yourself, handsome, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” He smiles a wicked smile.
Before I can respond, his lips are down on mine with a crushing force. He’s pulling me in, his tongue begging for access. For a moment, I think what it would be like to kiss him. I breathe in trying to gather my wits. It was that exact opening he was looking for. He begins a full on assault on my mouth, searching, reaching, exploring, wanting. Tears begin to prick at my eyes. There is no love in this kiss. This is need, desperation. This is not my Jake; this is not my love. I’m too stunned to react as precious seconds are ticking by. I need air. I can’t breathe. I feel suffocated, swallowed,
immersed.
Suddenly, cool air hits my now swollen lips. Chad has been pulled away from me. As the situation dawns on me, I find Jake has Chad up against a wall choking him.
“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?” He’s slamming Chad into the wall between each word by his throat. The muscles in Jakes forearms are ticking with every move he makes. Something flashes across Jake’s face, recognition. “You’re the pretty boy prick that brought Kenna home drunk. She’s mine, you mother fucker.”
Chad chokes out, gasping for air. “No ring on her finger.”
With that Jake drops him and storms off. I’m left standing there shocked and crying. Chad comes over to me.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” I say firmly.
“Come on beautiful, don’t be like this.” He’s twisting and rubbing his neck.
“You were my friend.”
“You can’t be that dumb. You’ve been flirting with me, teasing me. You know you want to try something new and fresh. I’ll give you something serious.”
His words bring my temper to a boil. Something serious like he’s giving his current girlfriend? No thanks. I slap him across the face. Immediately, I take off in search of Maggie.
Brayden apparently already filled her in briefly. Her eyes are wide when she sees me approaching.
“Where did Jake go?” I ask, crying.
“Bray said he took off. He won’t answer his phone. Best to let him cool off Kenna.”
“This is bad, Maggie, this is very bad. I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t what it looked like. I never expected him to kiss me.”
“Do you want me to have the bouncers take Chad out? Because right now, my friend, he’s staring you down like he wants to eat you alive.”
Love and Repair Series Box Set Page 26
