Holier Than Thou (The Tome of Bill Book 4)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Sometimes I wonder.”

  “I don’t. From what I hear, vampires aren’t too big on my being alive.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  “I’m beginning to see that. Yet she’s sticking by your side, and I don’t get the vibe that she’s doing so for the same reasons Gan is.”

  “Sally’s ... hmm ... let’s just say she’s never boring and leave it at that.”

  “Okay. Shall we get out of here? They’re gonna wonder what we’re up to.”

  “I can only imagine what they’re saying.”

  “They do seem to have some opinions on the matter,” she said, a smirk on her face.

  Heh, was it getting hot in there or was it just me? I so desperately wanted to blurt it out, but couldn’t. It was like my tongue had decided to take a vacation. So instead, I opted for what I typically do ... wuss out.

  “We should probably go down before they come looking for us. Trust me, you don’t want Gan in here.”

  I grabbed the bag from her, being mindful to not get too close. I might be delusional in certain things, but I had been nearly killed enough times for one day. There was always tomorrow.

  “That’s odd.”

  “What?” I turned to find her staring at one of the shelves as we prepared to leave.

  “I could have sworn I had more CDs than this.”

  Fucking Sally!

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Sheila closed the door behind us, doing her best to wedge it shut with the busted lock.

  “Let’s be quiet,” I said. “I don’t want to wake your neighbor again”

  “Wait ... what do you mean again?”

  Oops.

  sigh “Fine. I came looking for you the other day.”

  “You did?”

  “Well, the other night actually, but yeah, once I heard you were in danger. Anyway, the crazy old lady across the hall came out and gave me shit about it.”

  “Who?”

  “The one who lives over there, in Two-F,” I replied, pointing it out.

  “Nobody lives there. It’s been vacant for six months.”

  Almost as if on cue, the door opened and the fat old lady stepped out. This time, though, it was a little bit different. She was still fat – let’s not kid ourselves here – but instead of a muumuu, she wore the red cloak of a Templar and held a cross out before her.

  “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

  “Away from the Blessed One, beast!” she screeched. So much for not waking up the whole building. “Back, demon! Back, I say,” she cried, brandishing the cross in front of her Weeble-like body.

  “Oh fuck this,” I muttered. Not in the mood for this shit again, I drew back my fist and decked her fat face. She went down with a – dare I say it – meaty thud.

  It was only then that realization hit me. I had just punched out an old lady in front of a girl I was desperately trying to impress – perhaps not my finest moment.

  “That was...”

  “Yeah, I know, probably not the most chivalrous thing to do,” I said.

  “No, she’s a Templar.”

  “One who obviously missed a few training sessions.”

  “What was she doing...”

  “Keeping an eye out for vampires is my guess. I’d suggest we maybe continue this discussion in the car. I wouldn’t doubt there are a few fingers dialing 911 behind closed doors right now.”

  “I’m assuming you’ve done things like this before.”

  “You get surprisingly used to it.”

  I glanced down where the tubby Templar was still laid out cold. I gave Sheila a quick shrug then led the way back outside. It was amazing how quickly this sort of thing became almost routine.

  Destiny is a Bitch

  If the cops were summoned, it wasn’t until after we made our escape. I was worried that Sheila would be a bit cross with me for cleaning that fat bitch’s clock. Fortunately, she saved all her ire for Benny during the car trip to our safe house.

  “What was that woman doing spying on my apartment?”

  “I see you met Sister Bernadette.” He shot a quick glare at me. “I take it she failed in her duty. Tell me, did this creature dispatch her?”

  “Nope,” I replied. “Didn’t even ugly her up ... at least not any worse than she already was.”

  “She’s fine ... mostly,” Sheila said. “Answer my question, Benjamin.”

  “Of course. My people are keeping watch at all your former places of congress.”

  “Or they were,” Sally muttered under her breath.

  “Why?” Sheila asked.

  “Because we knew they would come looking for you. Considering our current predicament, I’d say we were right to be cautious. I only wish we had more of the faithful amongst our ranks. Perhaps then, this night would have ended differently.”

  “Yeah, that fun bunch back in Westchester might have won.”

  “Do not try to paint yourself as my ally, vampire. I know what you are. One day, God’s light shall shine upon thee, and thou shalt be found lacking.”

  “That’s it.” I sighed, feeling my temper snap. “Ed, pull into the next side street you see.”

  He looked into the rearview mirror. “You got it, Ms. Daisy.” Asshole.

  “I knew you would show your true colors,” Benny said, a note of triumph in his voice. The fucker obviously had a martyr complex.

  “I begin to doubt that this human is your friend, beloved.”

  “Not now, Gan. You’re right, Benny. It’s about time I showed you what I’m really about.”

  Ed did as asked, once more double parking and letting the engine idle.

  “Get the fuck out,” I said.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. I’m tired of you, your friends, and having crosses shoved down my throat every time I turn around. So, get out. Find a church and pray to God ... maybe he’ll see fit to make you less of an asshole.”

  Benny stared at me suspiciously. He obviously thought he was about to become the rope in a game of vampire tug-o-war. He was wrong, though.

  I got out of the car, lowered the back seat for him, and held the door.

  “Let’s go. If we get a ticket, it’s only going to make my mood that much worse.”

  He climbed out, trying to keep an eye on Sally, Gan, and myself simultaneously. He was smart with regards to those first two. Hell, I wasn’t entirely sure they’d let him go without snapping his neck as a parting gift. Sally, though, looked as if she couldn’t have cared less. As for Gan, I guess she was trying to score some brownie points. Either way, it was fine by me.

  Benny stepped out and faced me. “And the Blessed One?”

  “She’s free to do as she pleases. No one here will stop her.”

  “Your Holiness,” he called to her. “Let us leave these serpents to their foul fate.”

  I stepped over to the front and opened the door for her. “I meant what I said earlier. I’m sorry if things didn’t go the way I planned, but I really was trying to help.”

  “I know you were, Bill,” she replied, then added after a moment, “I’m good where I am.”

  She was?!

  Woo! Go me! Guess I’ve still got it.

  “But your...”

  “I’ve made my decision, Ben,” she replied, not entirely unkindly. “I’ve seen a lot of ugliness tonight, but despite what you think, Bill isn’t the cause of it.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am. You claim to know a lot about faith, Benjamin, but your problem is that you’re too narrow in your beliefs.”

  “I have...”

  “Faith in God, I know, but faith goes beyond that. Sometimes you need to have faith in people too.”

  “These creatures aren’t people.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Ed huffed from the driver’s seat.

  “I think that’s a matter of perspective,” Sheila replied.

  “What has this creature done to you? Has he somehow defiled you with his e
vil influence?”

  Heh, I wish.

  “Ben, thank you for everything. I wish things had turned out differently, I really do, but at least I’m glad you survived. I won’t forget what you or your brothers have done for me. Please be safe.”

  “You cannot go with this creature. It will be the end of you.”

  “Somehow I don’t believe that. Have a little faith, Ben. I know I do.” With that, she pulled the passenger side door shut.

  I gave Ben a smirk of triumph as I stepped past him. Hey, I wasn’t above a little pettiness. He’s just lucky I didn’t raise my hand to my forehead and give him the L sign.

  “This isn’t over, spawn of Hell,” he whispered to me.

  “Get in line, Benny,” I replied, climbing back into my seat. “See you at the next church revival.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  We ditched the car about a mile away from the safe house. Ed and I wiped it down for prints while the others grabbed our stuff. That done, we all headed toward our destination. Thank goodness we made it back when we did. Despite the rain, the horizon started to lighten. Another hour and things might be getting a bit toasty for my own comfort.

  Sally wasn’t happy about using the new safe house, but she’d have to deal. At least I had been able to rid us of Benny. Even if he managed to round up more of his holy rollers, they wouldn’t be able to do much to bother us.

  Gan was a completely different problem, but it was pointless to bother worrying in her case. Not only would she be near impossible to lose, but even if we did manage it, she could pretty much sniff me out wherever I might be. At least this way we knew where she was. She’d hopefully cause less chaos with our eyes on her.

  We reached the building and Sally let us in, disengaging the security system in the process. “Welcome to the former safe house of Village Coven,” she announced to the group, holding the door open for us in mock invitation.

  “Coven?” Sheila asked. “I thought that was witches.”

  “Stole the idea from us,” Sally said. “Come on, you can have the spare bedroom. It has a security door with a heavy lock.”

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “I know,” Sally replied. “It’s mostly to keep you from feeling Bill’s eyes staring at you all day. He can be a little pathetic like that.”

  “What about the rest of us?” Ed asked before I could chime in with an appropriate response to her asshole remark.

  “The main bedroom is mine. If anyone has a problem with that, they can go fuck themselves sideways. The rest of you can sack out wherever you can find a spot ... that includes you too, stud,” she said directly to him. “I’m too tired to play with my food today.”

  Well that was ... disturbing.

  “I don’t suppose you have anything to eat here that doesn’t clot?” he asked. She just stared at him for a moment, her look saying it all. “I didn’t think so. Oh well, dibs on the love seat.”

  Being a gentleman, I offered Gan the couch. She attempted to entice me into sharing it with her – all the while, Ed tried to stifle laughter from where he lay. I respectfully declined and found a comfy section of floor. If I had learned anything from my college days, it was how to crash just about anywhere if the situation called for it. Hard surface or not, I was out within minutes.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  I awoke some hours later, I’m not sure how many, but it probably wasn’t too long. One of the advantages of being a vampire is that I needed much less sleep than during my living days. Even so, enough fatigue could knock me out for the entire night ... or day. Perhaps that had been the case now. I couldn’t see any light through my closed eyelids. Maybe I had actually slept through the day. It was possible, considering the wounds I had sustained.

  I opened my eyes to check the time and had to stifle a scream.

  Gan’s smiling face beamed down at me from about six inches away. “Good day, beloved. I have been watching over you.”

  Damn, Sally was right. It was creepy.

  I sat up and immediately scooted away before she could try to get more comfortable. Once out of her reach, I took a look around. The storm had abated, but clouds still covered the sky. No wonder it was still dark.

  “What time is it?”

  “It is still morning. You have been asleep for about four hours.”

  Damn, that meant the full day was still ahead ... a day of being cooped up with Gan. How lovely.

  “The others?”

  “Asleep. We are the only ones awake.”

  “Shouldn’t you still be catching some shuteye too?”

  “I was. I awoke once I heard you stirring.”

  “You heard me stirring?”

  “Of course. I am entirely in tune with you, my love.”

  Yeah, definitely creepy. Thank goodness I didn’t own any pet rabbits for her to boil.

  “Well, let’s not wake the others.”

  “I would not dream of it. This is the first moment I have had you all to myself. I do not wish it to end sooner than it must.”

  That made one of us anyway.

  “How is your shoulder?”

  I gingerly touched it. It was pain free, which was good. I reached into my sleeve and under the bandages. The bumpy texture of fresh scar tissue greeted my fingers. In a few hours even that would be gone. Had it not been a silver weapon, it would have done so hours ago, but oh well. Regardless, being a vampire definitely had its perks.

  “I’ll live.”

  “I know.”

  sigh

  I got up, walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Just as Ed had suspected, it was full of blood. Thankfully, there were no body parts, but there was nothing else of substance either. Oh well, this was New York. It’s not like you could throw a rock without hitting a falafel stand. He and Sheila would be fine.

  I grabbed a few pints and tossed one to Gan. She liked it fresh, but I preferred she not gnaw on my friends. To help keep her from balking, I raised mine in a toast. “To your ... health.”

  “To our future, Dr. Death.”

  “Uh yeah.” I took a long sip from mine. “So what are you doing here, Gan?”

  “I told you...”

  “I know you did, but still, aren’t you worried?”

  “Worried? Why would I worry?”

  “You said you had spies in the Boston office, right?”

  “Correct.”

  “Well, then you have to know that the group last night was operating on the authority of the First Coven.”

  “Of course. Even if I did not know, I could easily surmise that.”

  “Then you have to know you’re going against them in your actions.”

  “Obviously, beloved.”

  Grrr, again with the beloved bullshit. It was enough to make me want to get a running start and dive straight through one of the windows.

  “Okay, am I missing something here, then? These are the First. You don’t go against them.”

  “Are you not doing so right now?”

  “Well, yeah ... but that’s different.”

  “How?”

  “It’s ... hard to ... it just is.”

  “That is ... fascinating, Dr. Death,” she replied, throwing her own little smirk at me. Great, I was being humored by a reject from Monster High. “My own motivations are simple enough.”

  There was a moment or two of silence. “Care to enlighten me?”

  “The war is upon us.”

  “I kind of noticed, right around the time that Nergui killed Turd’s daughter.”

  “Yes,” she said, a thoughtful smile on her face. “He died an honorable death. Loyal to the end, although I never expected less. Did you know that Alexander himself suggested I send him?”

  “What?!” I replied, spewing blood.

  “Yes. He visited my domain and told me about the gathering.”

  “So he manipulated you,” I said, feeling some sympathy for her. She had been as much a pawn as I had. “He knew that if you suspected how the Humbaba Accord
would end, combined with your feelings for me, it would cause...”

  I stopped as she broke down into giggles. “Oh, Dr. Death, you are truly funny. It is one of the reasons I love you so. Alexander tried to manipulate me, that much is true, but my father did not raise me to be a fool. I saw through his guise the moment he began to speak.”

  “Wait, so you knew he wanted to start a war?”

  “Of course. He could not have made it more obvious.”

  “And you still did it?”

  “Certainly. I had the same vision as did he. I knew that destiny was upon us.”

  “Why you little...” I snarled. For a split second, I lost all sense of anything except that this little bitch had purposely and willingly set the world on a collision course with annihilation.

  Before I could stop myself, the Freewill monster inside of me reared its ugly head, and I threw a punch at her still smiling face.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Or at least I tried to. As quick as I was, Gan ducked to the side effortlessly. My fist hit nothing but the empty space where she had been.

  I pulled back, stunned she had moved so fast. Fortunately it gave me pause to push the anger back down again before it could take another swing.

  “Ooh,” she replied, still grinning. “I do so enjoy seeing the fire inside of you.”

  I took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten. “Do you realize what you’ve done, Gan? Really, do you?”

  “Obviously, my love. In fact, I see things far more clearly than even Alexander.”

  “I don’t think you do. If they find out you’re going against their wishes, they’re going to...”

  “Kill me? I think not. You underestimate me, Dr. Death. My father’s followers are now mine and the breadth of his fealty was wide indeed. Besides which, they will most likely never know of this so-called treachery on my part.”

  “How can you be sure of that? You let Remington and his men go.”

  “Your point?”

  “My point is that they’ve probably already gone crawling back to Colin for reinforcements, ratting us both out in the process.”

  “Doubtful. The First are not tolerant of failure, regardless of cause. Should Remington return to them in any state other than victory, it would reflect poorly on him. As leader, he would be expected to have prepared for any contingency. That he did not would be ill-accepted as excuse.”