by Tiana Laveen
“We were just two very young people in love… living our lives. When I found out she was pregnant, I didn’t come home that day until I found work. I begged a man inside a restaurant to let me wash the dishes and sweep the floors… told him I had a baby on the way. I then used that money to enroll in school and get an associate’s degree.
“I went into social work and took some extra business courses, too… as you know, of course.”
Sky looked up and cast her eyes towards the wall, where Dad’s old, yellowed degree hung, still in the cheap plastic frame. He’d made everyone in his family so proud… and she was proud of him, too.
“Then, soon after you were born, I am not really sure what happened… but your mother was acting different. Could’ve been postpartum depression, I don’t know, but her family wasn’t really a support system. She relied on me and my family for everything. She started experimenting here and there, and then, the heroin abuse emerged… and the dope. It got so bad… It got so bad, Sky, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“She was taking the little bit of money we had—money for your food, diapers, milk, and rent. I was afraid she was going to do something to you. She’d become neglectful… I’d be at work all day, come home, and you would be inside the apartment crying, alone. You’d have on a soiled diaper, you were hungry… your mother nowhere to be found. You deserved better.
“You were so young, I doubt you remember, but that was it. I knew she had to go. Off and on for the next couple of years after that, she’d get clean for a minute, then be right back into it. And then one day, she just stopped comin’ around. I called the hospitals, her sister, her mother, everyone. No one had seen her. Days went on, and then I called the police. Your mother disappeared so often, so at first I wasn’t alarmed. But she’d never been gone that long. Something was wrong, I could feel it. To the police, she was just another Black junkie off on some binge. They didn’t care to find her. After some years had passed, I figured she was dead.”
He nodded, as if finally accepting it for himself. “There’d been many bodies found around that time… Some were prostitutes, some junkies, mostly both. I’m not sure what happened to your mother, Sky, but I imagine she either got a hold of something that took her out, or she trusted the wrong person.
“Either way, I’ve never seen her again. I’ve never seen her again. I’ve… never… seen her again.”
He lowered his head and started to sob uncontrollably. Sky stepped behind her father and wrapped her arms around him. She rested her forehead on his back and held him close, her hands clasped around his waist.
“Today is a special, wonderful day! My daughter’s getting married!” He broke free from her, a big, forced smile on his face. “I never want to ruin your day! My intentions, my dear, were to show you more wedding pictures of Victoria and me, happy times… and yet, here we are.” He lowered his head, as if ashamed… as if he’d done her some grave disservice. “I apologize for ruining everything. I had no idea I’d react like this.”
“Dad, no.” She reached for his wrist and pulled him towards her. “This is the most beautiful wedding gift you could have ever given me! A piece of my mother… more of the truth. I’ve processed this, okay? Though I was so young when this all happened, anything I hear about her, good or bad, gives me peace!”
He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed, then kissed her cheek.
“Sometimes when I see you, Sky, it’s like looking at a ghost… like right now… you look so much like her! You know, I believe she’d be very proud of you. Your mother liked to dance, too. She was a natural entertainer.”
Sky laughed lightly. “I know, you told me.”
“I mean, really dance. She could cut a rug… and though we’ve moved on,” he said, his smile fading, “the heart wants what the heart wants. I’ve been seeing Brenda, as you know, for over ten years. She’s my girlfriend and I love her very much… but, I told her, as I did my girlfriends before her, that I would never get married again. Your mother had that spot… and I guess, I’m not quite strong enough to ever give it away. That’s her seat in my heart. Despite the drugs and the pain she caused us, this will never change the fact that she was my first love. She gave me my first and only child, she was my first everything. And I knew, had she not fallen prey to addiction, she would have been a good mother to you, Sky… a great mother.”
Sky closed the photo album and placed it on the table.
“So, though I hated your mother at times and blamed myself for so many things that had gone wrong in our lives, she was, and always will be, my first love. She was my beautiful bride…” From a box, he pulled out a small pair of earrings and handed them to her. “These belonged to your mother. To ensure she didn’t pawn them for drugs, I hid them from her. They were a gift I’d given her once I got my second check at that restaurant.” He gave a sad chuckle. “She’d been eyeing them, wanted them.”
“Oh my God…” Sky looked down at her hand, admiring the small diamond studs. She immediately removed her own earrings, and swapped them with the pair. “They’re beautiful! Thank you, Dad!” She leapt into his arms and hugged him tight.
“Come on now, child. Your chariot awaits downstairs.”
He grabbed his umbrella, took her hand, and turned off the lights. Together, they walked out of the apartment, hand in hand…
EIGHT GROOMSMEN STOOD to Lazarist’s right, all dressed in tailored slate gray suits, white shirts, and plum ties. All of Sky’s friends were on the other side, all their dresses in different styles but in the exact same shade of reddish-purple.
The Brooklyn Winery was a popular wedding venue, but it paled in comparison to the bride that graced the scene. Lazarist tried to stand a bit straighter, but his knees kept turning to damn jelly.
If you ever see a Queen walk down the aisle to meet her King, then you’ll understand how I felt when I watched a vision of beauty, my soon-to-be wife, dressed in a stunning white dress, approach me with love in her eyes in a garden in Brooklyn…
“I’ve done this two other damn times. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. I’m a seasoned pro. I run these groomzilla streets!” he whispered, joking and teasing with Tobias who stood right next to him. The two laughed lightly as his nerves skyrocketed.
“She’s beautiful…” Tobias whispered, resting his hand on his shoulder.
Sky practically floated down the aisle, holding a bouquet of mauve and sapphire flowers, her hand securely wrapped around her father’s arm. Kane Brown crooned ‘Heaven’ as she drew closer. Everyone was on their feet looking at the queen of his heart gliding towards him. When she finally arrived, the minister looked at her father and asked who was giving her away. With tears in his eyes, Sky’s father shook Lazarist’s hands.
“I do… I give my daughter away to this man, Lazarist Zander.” His father-in-law directed a grave expression his way. “I trust you with my pride and joy. She means everything to me.”
Lazarist leaned in close to the man and drew him in a firm hug.
“I promise to treat your daughter like the queen that she is. You have my word.”
The older man nodded, sniffed, and took his seat in the front row. At that moment, he took notice of his mother sitting next to Eliza, and directly behind them was his father. The man looked rather somber, dressed to kill in his tuxedo. He raised his hand and gave a little wave as they made eye contact. Lazarist nodded, acknowledging his presence and feeling happy to see him, then turned back towards his fiancée. Lifting her veil, he exposed her to their friends and family. He blinked several times, fighting the tears.
“You’re beautiful.” His voice cracked like a teenage boy’s.
“Thank you,” she mouthed with a sweet smile.
He wanted to drag her away, kiss her all over her body, ravish her, and do it all over again. He wished he could push a fast-forward button and have them already married and celebrating their two-week honeymoon in the Maldives. The minister shook him out of his deliberations as he began to
walk them through their vows. They’d taken the traditional route, but he had his own words to share, too. Looking out towards the audience for a spell, he cleared his throat, his gaze back on Sky.
“I had, uh, originally written these things down and was going to stand here and recite them… but that didn’t seem right. I spent a lot of time writing it all down, too. What I wanted to say to ya… to express how I feel… it’s difficult to say. Most people in here know that we met at Fallen Angel, my club. You were there with your friends havin’ a good time. I was doing my typical rounds, checking in on my customers, but I’d already seen you a bit earlier that evening on the camera. I have to admit, when I saw ya I thought, ‘My God… she’s beautiful.’”
Sky smiled at his words. He reached for her hands and held them.
“I said to myself, I gotta meet her. I have to introduce myself and say, ‘hello.’ What started as my typical hunt for a good time soon grew into me falling in love with one of the kindest and wisest women I’ve ever known. Your beauty is unmistakable, you’re a go-getter and you don’t want any handouts… just encouragement and devotion.
“When I realized that, uh… I was in love with ya, I was scared to death. It wasn’t in the cards, it wasn’t what I thought I wanted. But… it was exactly what I needed… To finally not be afraid to feel anymore. To not be terrified of how big my heart was and what that entailed. My father told me not too long ago that I had closed myself off, became cold because I’d been hurt. He was right. It was on purpose. It was how I was surviving. I was thinkin’ that being the king of this concrete jungle meant I had to not give a damn about anyone… at least make a good show of it, but that’s not true.
“Lions have heart… we’re courageous. To be afraid to fall in love again was cowardly, and unless you’re from the Wizard of Oz, no one likes a cowardly lion.” There were pockets of light laughter at his words. “I was scared of what a love like this would do to me… being exposed, vulnerable, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Sky. I thought I had it all before I met you… but I had no idea, absolutely no clue.
“This time, it’s built to last. We respect one another, want what’s best for each other. I have maturity, life lessons, and understanding on my side, and a lover and best friend like I’ve never known.
“I needed you more than you’ll ever realize, Sky. I need you like all living things need air. I need you like the birds need wings. I need you like a castle needs a king and a queen… and you’re mine. You rule my heart. It’s all yours.”
He placed his hand across his heart; the damn thing was beating so fast, it seemed unnatural.
“You consume my thoughts and every time I see your face, I smile. Every time I hear your name, I can’t stop grinning. You danced into my life and I hooked you with my cane, bringing you close so that you couldn’t get away.” She smiled from ear to ear, her eyes gleaming. “Because I can’t imagine life without you, baby, it’s really as simple as that. Thank you for giving me the best shiny gift of all, the prettiest diamond in the world… that being you…”
He quieted and sniffed away tears, though he heard many people in the audience crying, filled with emotion. The minister went on to complete the vows then asked for the wedding bands to be exchanged. Sky slid a thick, platinum and diamond wedding band onto his finger. He never believed he’d wear such jewelry again, but there he was, and this time, it felt so right, so perfect.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
He took her in his arms, holding her so close to claim her lips in a kiss. Applause erupted from the audience. The heat of her mouth sent waves through his body and dirty thoughts of ripping her clothing off later that night took over his brain like a hostage situation. Minutes later they were shaking hands and hugging their friends and family, thanking them for coming out to join them on their special day. Sky floated away for a spell and took many photos with her friends. The professional photographer had them pose in all sorts of ways. He watched the little group having fun until someone walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. When he saw who it was, he yelled in excitement.
“Giovanni!!! Oh my God, I didn’t think you’d be able to make it! Where is Vanessa?” He looked about into the crowd before everyone dispersed to begin the reception festivities.
“She’s here! She went to the restroom and will back in a bit. Of course I’m here, man! I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world, Laz!”
“Awww man, this is great! I know you’ve been so busy and all with the work-out show and everything. That’s great. So proud of ya, Gio.”
“Yeah, yeah, things are goin’ good. The wife’s company is doing well, too. The kids are good. Congratulations, Laz. I’m so glad you’re trying again, ya know? Bein’ in love is a beautiful thing.”
“Thank you… we gotta get Vanessa and Sky together, you know? I think they’d get along real well.”
“Oh, for sure. Sorry about missin’ your birthday party. I was out of town.”
“No problem! We’ve all got lives.”
“Yeah, but maybe we can go on a double date soon. I’ve only known ya for five years, but you feel like a brother to me. It’s been good between us, ya know? I love ya, man. And your wife… wow! What a knockout!”
They both chuckled at that. Lazarist loved it when someone admired Sky’s beauty and his great taste.
“You telling me that I’m like a brother… well damn, man. That means a lot comin’ from you, Gio. You’re good people.” Just then, he saw another familiar face coming his way. “Dom!”
He grabbed the guy and gave him a big hug. He’d met Dom through Giovanni; the two were practically inseparable. Giovanni had been his personal trainer and Dom had some great marketing ideas for the Fallen Angel. The man was rough around the edges but very talented—he had a knack for such things and was a natural when it came to promotion and sales. “I told Gio to invite you but I didn’t think you’d come! Last I checked, you were still in Jersey, right?”
“I’m back in New York City, man!” Dom threw up his hands. The tall, slender guy was smoother than butter rolling down a playground slide in the summertime. “Yeah, I’m not missin’ any wedding reception, okay? ’Specially one from a high roller like you where I know the best liquor will be flowin’ and the hos will be hoin’!”
Lazarist hated that he couldn’t control himself, but he and Giovanni burst out laughing at the man’s words. Dominic was a real card. Soon, Sky came back over and wrapped her arm possessively around his. As he was introducing her to the pair of guys, her friend Scarlet came over, too.
“I’m ready to get fucked up.” She jetted her finger in his face. “Your wife has been a real pain in the ass today, Lazarist.”
He cracked up, only to have Sky give him a perturbed expression, then elbow him in the side.
“Uh oh, lover’s quarrel. I got my own damn problems.” Giovanni cackled. “I’m gettin’ outta here to go find Vanessa. I’ll see ya on the dance floor.”
The buff man, who was practically bursting out of his suit jacket, turned and walked off. Apparently still angry, Sky bopped him on the shoulder.
“What?!” He smiled. “I didn’t say it. Scarlet did!”
“I sure as hell did. I said it and I meant it. Who gonna check me? Record me. Take a picture, too. Make a note of it, jot it down like they’re the winning numbers to the lotto! I don’t give uh fuck! Don’t get mad, Sky; you know you have been a total pain in the ass.”
The woman arched an eyebrow. “Taking all of your anxieties on innocent bystanders today ’nd shit. Get on my goddamn nerves… I shoulda burned you with the hot comb when I was taking care of those edges and that kitchen on this frontal, getting it blended to perfection just so you can sweat it all out tonight when Lazarist bends you over like the Brooklyn Bridge fallin’ down and makes you scream ‘Daddy!’ in five different languages. Ain’t nobody got time for this shit! Anyway…” She thrust her arm out, her wrist limp.
“Can someone please point me in the direction of the damn bar and a place that passes out Vicodin like candy? Sky hopped on my last nerve and rode that mothafucka into the ground. I’m ready to drink my ass off, dance until my feet catch on fire, stuff my face and put that shit on repeat.”
“Damn! You’re funny… sassy… pretty as fuck, too… I like that,” Dom spoke up as he buttoned his blazer, holding his chin high. He then winked at the woman.
Scarlet smirked at the man, looking him up and down as she placed her hand on her hip.
“You like that, huh? Who the hell are you, may I ask?”
“My name is Sebastiano, but my friends and family call me by my middle name, Dominic.”
“Well, Sebastiano, ’cause I’m not your friend or your family, where do you work? Do you have a good job because I’m tryna secure a motherfuckin’ bag. You’re cute and all but handsome don’t pay the damn bills and we both know you’re just tryna fuck. Meanwhile, I’m looking for something a bit more serious. I wanna settle down but also tryna get paid. I got my own shit but I want some of somebody else’s too… that’s just the way the damn cookie crumbles so, uh, let’s just get down to the nitty gritty. Are you broke or what?”
“Scarlet!” Sky exclaimed. Everyone burst out laughing, including Dom—with the exception of Sky, who stood there looking mortified at her friend’s behavior.
“Bridal Black Barbie bitch, please. I love ya, I’m happy as hell for you, but I am too old to play silly ass games and mince words. I am ready to get up outta these shoes, too!”
Scarlet rolled her eyes, ripped her heels off, and hung the straps over her finger and she sauntered off, leaving them all in the dust. The tall man that had been introduced as Dom ran his fingers through his hair and grinned like a sneaky son of a bitch, looking all turned on and horny.
