by Mercy Amare
“And you’re willing to go through all this trouble to make my mom happy?”
“Yes.”
“That means a lot to me,” Stephan says. “But for future reference, please don’t talk about my mom when we’re about to have sex. It kind of ruins the mood.”
I put my lips against his and kiss him. It only takes a few seconds for him to pull off his swimming trunks.
Boys are so easily distracted.
I slide down on him and slowly rock my hips. Stephan likes to be in control, but this time I am in complete control. I like the power. Plus, I love how it feels being on top. It feels… intense.
I move my hips faster as the pleasure builds. I rock against him a few more times before I finally feel a release. Stephan grabs my hips, and moves me faster until his breathing becomes erratic.
He puts his forehead against mine and gently kisses me on the mouth. “You should be on top more often.”
“Definitely.”
Thursday, December 3
7:57 PM
Rock goddess.
I finished recording my album early on Tuesday, so I had the afternoon off… Well, when I say I had it off, I actually meant I spent it catching up on homework while Mona, Bridgett, and Stephan went to Disney Land. Yep — I know. It sucks. But it’s the story of my life. Missing out on all the fun stuff because I have to work. But, on a plus note — I’m done recording. And ahead of schedule. This is definitely a good thing.
On Wednesday, I spent the day running around Los Angeles, doing interviews and promotions. Which, as predicted, sucked.
And now, my head hurts.
Today we are holding auditions for my band. And they have to be picked today. It wasn’t so bad this morning. I picked out two guitar players and a bass player before we even took a lunch. But since two o’clock, I’ve been interviewing drummers — hence the headache.
“Everybody sucks,” I tell Alec.
And it’s not that everybody isn’t talented — they are. But they’re all annoying. I am not spending a year of my life with somebody who annoys me.
“We have one more,” Alec says. “You have to chose from what you’ve seen.”
Ugh. I put my head against the cool desk until I hear the door open.
A short girl who looks about my height walks in. She has shoulder-length blonde hair with hot pink highlights and bangs that swoop to the side. She’s wearing a pair of hot pink converse, skinny jeans, and a black hoodie that says ‘I believe in unicorns’. Yeah, I pretty much like her already.
Please don’t be annoying, please don’t be annoying, please don’t be annoying, I chant over and over again in my head.
“Hi,” she says. “I’m Riley Lewis, and I am here to audition to be your drummer.”
“Hey, Riley. As you know, I’m Scarlett. Have you ever toured with anybody before?”
“No.” She bites her lip, and she looks a little nervous. “I actually have only played for my church, and I’m hoping to branch out a little.”
My hope dwindles, but she obviously is a decent drummer to make it through the first two phases. “How old are you?”
“I just turned eighteen.”
“How long have you played the drums?” I ask.
“Since I was three years old.”
“Okay, Riley, show me what you’ve got.”
Riley sits down at the drum set, and Alec starts the music. I watch as she starts playing, but her hands are kind of a blur. I watch her face, and I can see that she no longer looks nervous. She’s looks calm, confident, and best of all, she looks like she is enjoying herself.
I’m impressed, because she’s actually a better drummer than me. Of course, the guitar is my main instrument, but I’m still a very good drummer.
I look over at Alec, and he has a huge grin on his face. He looks at me, and I give him a nod. He reaches over and turns off the music. The girl looks stunned, for a second, but she stands up and starts walking back to us. We meet her halfway.
“I want you,” I tell her. “I’ll have them draw up the contract, if you’re interested.”
“Yes! Definitely!” She looks excited.
“Great. It’ll be ready tomorrow. Monday, December 14th, we start practicing bright and early. We only have one week to be ready. There will probably be some pretty long days before the tour. It’s nothing compared to the actual tour. You won’t get enough sleep most of the time. I know touring seems glamorous, but it’s a lot of hard work. Are you sure you’re up to it?”
She considers my words for a few seconds before she replies. I like that she’s actually taking time to process what I said. It means she’s not impulsive.
“I am positive,” she says. “This has been my dream for a very long time, and I am more than ready.”
“Good. I like you, Riley. I wish you would have been our three o’clock appointment, instead of eight. You could have saved us five hours of torture, and me a migraine.”
She laughs. “By the way, I heard some of your new stuff when I auditioned the first time. I just wanted to tell you how much I love the new sound. You sound more… true to yourself. It’s a lot better. Pop Princess really doesn’t fit you.”
“I know, right?” I like her even more. “I’ve always saw myself as more of a… rock goddess.”
“Totally,” she agrees.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Riley. They will call you tomorrow when the contract is ready, and I will see you bright and early on the 14th.”
“See you.” She turns and walks out the way she came in.
After she leaves, Alec turns to me. “Nice! A girl drummer.”
“I know! Score!” I like having girls in my band.
“She’s kind of hot.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re in love with my sister. Don’t rebound with my drummer, or I will be pissed.”
“Whatever. Fine, I won’t touch your drummer.”
“You better not.” I poke my finger into his chest. “Or my guitar player.”
I am excited because two of my four musicians are girls. Riley, of course, and my guitarist is Samantha. My other guitar player is Chance, and my bass player is Cam. Both of the guys are pretty sexy, so I’m hoping Stephan doesn’t mind.
“We leave one month from today,” Alec says, as we walk out to our cars.
“Oh, wow. That’s so crazy.”
“So what are you and Bridgett doing for Christmas?”
I look at him. “Alec Torch, we have spent every Christmas together for the past four years. Just because my sister broke your heart doesn’t change things. You were my friend a whole lot longer than you were her boyfriend.”
“I just don’t want things to be weird.” Alec is playing with his car key.
“If it’s weird, then it’ll be her fault. You are spending Christmas with me, and that is final.”
8:45 PM
Dirty laundry
“You have to do something about her. She’s driving me fucking crazy,” Mona says to me as soon as I walk through the door.
“Who?” I ask.
“Who do you think? Bridgett! She’s been moping around here, and whining since she got back from Thanksgiving. I can’t take it anymore. I get it. She’s heartbroken. But there is no need to take it out on the rest of us.” She rolls her eyes. “Seriously, get over it already. She’s the one who dumped him anyway.”
“I love your sensitivity, Mona.” The sarcasm is heavy in my voice.
She laughs. “Honey, this is me being sensitive. Give me another couple days of her whining, and then I’ll snap.”
“I’ll take care of it,” I say. I turn to Peter. “Can you guys like leave so I can talk to Bridgett without you?”
Peter gives me a look that says ‘no fucking way are we leaving’. “This is important to film.”
I roll my eyes. Everything is important to them. “Fine.” I walk up the stairs, and head towards Bridgett’s room. I knock on the door and hear a muffled ‘Come in’.
“
Hey, Scar.” She looks up at me for a second, and then puts her head back down on her pillow. Her hair is sticking up all over, and she’s still wearing the pajamas she was wearing on Tuesday.
“You look pathetic,” I say. Maybe I’m harsh, but the truth hurts. She needs a wakeup call.
“Well, I look better than I feel.” I watch tears fall down her cheeks.
“Why did you break up with Alec?” This talk is overdue.
“Because it was stupid to date him to begin with,” she says. Her voice sounds mechanical. Like it isn’t her own thoughts. “He’s Alec Torch, and I’m Bridgett Evans. I’m a nobody. And Alec is… well, he’s different than what I thought. But he’s too good for me.”
“He wants to be with you, and I know you want to be with him. I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn.”
“This sounds a lot like a conversation that you and I had about Stephan not too long ago,” Bridgett says.
“It does. And look at us now! Obviously you give good advice.”
“I am not marrying Alec.”
“Maybe not today,” I joke. “But seriously, you’ve got to stop moping around. It’s driving Mona nuts, and she can be mean about things. Either date Alec, or don’t date him. I honestly could care less about the drama of it. I just want you to be happy.”
“I’ll try.” She sniffles her nose. “I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic.”
“It’s okay.” I turn to walk out, then stop. “Oh, just a heads up — Alec and I spend the holidays together every year, and this year won’t be the exception. You should probably mentally prepare yourself for it.”
“Ugh…” She groans. “I meant to ask you, are we really going to your dad’s for Christmas, or did you just say that so you didn’t have to deal with Stephan’s mom?”
“A little of both,” I say. “I really want to spend Christmas with Stacy and Anna. They’re going to be there. Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Anything is better than Christmas with my mom.”
“What happened at Thanksgiving?” I ask.
The mention of Thanksgiving makes Bridgett cry even harder. I start to walk toward her to give her a hug, but she stops me. “No, I’m fine. Just go. I’ll try to be better tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow. Right. We have a photo shoot. Like everybody that’s in the show. So, make sure you get plenty of sleep. You don’t want puffy eyes tomorrow.”
She laughs through her tears. “Too late for that,” she says, and then starts crying hard again. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No. But I never will be. Just go, Scarlett.” When she tells me to go, she’s looking at the cameras. I know that she doesn’t want this on TV, not that I can blame her. I hate having all my dirty laundry aired on TV. I know that Stephan and Mona hate having theirs aired the most.
I walk out the door and head to my own room. Peter and the crew finally leave, and I feel like I can breathe again.
Now I’m going to enjoy my time with my husband and wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
Friday, December 4
9:17 PM
Magic tongue.
After spending two hours in hair and makeup, we are finally taking pictures. First, they took a bunch of us all, and now they’re taking pictures of Bridgett and Alec. Apparently they want to really push the whole Bridgett-Alec drama. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s funny. They have to do all these sexy poses, and now the camera guy is trying to convince them to kiss.
“This is great,” Mona says. “Seriously, I would totally watch the show. Even if I wasn’t one of the stars.”
Mona will watch the show anyway. I know Mona well enough to know that she’s going to love seeing herself on TV. And it’s not that she’s arrogant — she’s just that sure of herself. I think she’s the only person I’ve met that has more confidence than me.
I watch as Alec pulls Bridgett close. I can tell she’s not enjoying it. Which makes the cameraman angry. After he yells at her, they try again. This time when Alec pulls her close, she doesn’t look so disgusted. In fact, she looks like she’s rather enjoying the moment. And Alec isn’t trying to hide his enjoyment.
“This is kind of hot,” Stephan jokes. I nudge him with my elbow.
“Hey! That’s my sister.”
He laughs. “Seriously, look at them. You can feel the lust rolling off them. He wants her. She wants him. It’s only a matter of time.”
“When did you become the expert on relationships?” Mona asks him.
“I’m not an expert. I just remember that I used to look at Scarlett the same way that Alec looks at Bridgett…. Of course, Scarlett always returned the look. Bridgett does sometimes, but most of the time she just looks at Alec like she’s sad. She tries way too hard to hate him.”
“I am so done getting sucked into their drama,” Mona says, with an eye roll.
Wow. I actually agree with Mona.
“I wish somebody would look at me like that,” Mona says. “Seriously, I’m so sick of being around you guys. You’re so in love with each other. It makes me sick. And jealous.”
“I’m pretty sure Ethan looks at you like that. You’ve just never noticed,” Stephan says.
“Ethan is sweet. And he’s a great guy. But I want fireworks… No, not fireworks. I want fucking TNT. I want an earth-shaking explosion to happen every time we kiss…” She smiles at her description. “I won’t settle for anything less.”
This time last year, I would have laughed and said there was no such thing. But now I know there is. “You’ll find him,” I tell her. And it’s true. If anybody is going to find it, it’s Mona.
“Mona!” The director calls her over.
Bridgett and Alec’s awkward kissing scene is finally over, and Bridgett walks to the corner to sulk. Alec comes to stand by Stephan and me.
“That was awesome.” Alec smiles proudly.
“It looked like you enjoyed it immensely,” I say.
“Oh yeah. I took full advantage of that opportunity, and I showed Bridgett exactly what she’s missing.”
“I’ve heard all about your magic tongue.” I wish I were joking, but I’m not. I’ve heard it from way too many girls in Hollywood.
Stephan gives me a what the fuck look.
“Heard. Not experienced…” I say, but then remember… “Oh wait… That one time… But it was just a kiss…”
Alec laughs hard. “Oh my God, I totally forgot about that. I’m not the only one with a magic tongue. That kiss was the best kiss of my life, Scar.”
I glare at Alec, because I know he’s joking. It was a terrible kiss, and I threw up on him afterwards. “He’s just joking,” I tell Stephan.
“I am,” Alec confirms once he sees the look on Stephan’s face. “She threw up all over me after she downed Jager bombs all night. It was quite possibly the worst kiss of my life. I’m glad. Because if it was good, I would probably be the one married to her right now, and I’m too young and sexy to spend the rest of my life with just one woman.”
“Alec!”
“What? It’s true. You’re my best friend. If we had sexual chemistry, I would totally marry you. Maybe I should have anyway. At least you’re more decisive than your sister. I swear she’s so up and down…”
“Well, I wouldn’t have married you.” I roll my eyes at him.
“Scarlett, Stephan!” The director calls us.
Thank. God.
We walk over in front of the camera. They take hundreds of shot of us. Me sitting on his lap. Us holding hands. Cute kisses. And then we did quite a few sexy poses. After we did those pictures, they took more of me by myself, and some of me and Bridgett.
The photo-shoot literally lasts hours. But finally, around three, we get to leave.
3:11 PM
Misery business.
“I’m starving,” I say as we are leaving.
“We will have to grab something on the way,” Bridgett tells us.
; “On the way? I thought we were done for the day…” I am frustrated. Beyond frustrated actually. I miss my lazy days back in Hope. I just want one day — ONE DAY — where I do absolutely nothing.
“MTV needs us to record voice-overs, and film commentary,” she explains. “I thought I told you…”
I’m suddenly regretting hiring her. My dad never forgot anything. I knew what I was doing every second of everyday. I keep telling myself that Bridgett is new and she will get used it. I hope I’m not wrong.
“Maybe you were too busy crying over Alec…” I snap. Crap. Why did I say that?
Where is the rewind button when you need one?
“You’re right,” Bridgett says in a calm voice. It’s too calm. “I’m sorry.”
Wow. Now I feel even worse. Maybe I would feel better if she overreacted. She needs to yell at me — or slap me… something. “I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she says. But I know it’s not. I can tell I hurt her feelings.
We grab food on the go, and head over to the studio. The limo ride is quiet and awkward. Bridgett refuses to talk to Alec. Alec refuses to leave Bridgett alone. Mona is saying cryptic things that make us all uncomfortable, and Stephan is still mad about the magic tongue comment Alec made about me earlier.
This is just one big bag of fun… Wouldn’t it be awesome if they really made bags of fun? They could put it next to the potato chips. I would totally open it right now if I had one.
The car comes to a stop, and we all walk inside. Paparazzi are snapping pictures of us, and Mona stops to do a couple of cute poses before walking inside with us. I can’t help but laugh. She was totally made for this life.
“Can’t let you take all the attention,” Mona says to me.
Of course not. God forbid if Mona isn’t the center of everybody’s universe.
Gah — now I’m getting cranky.
I need a whole day by myself. No Alec. No Bridgett. No Mona. No Stephan. NOBODY. Just me, my bed, and a ton of junk food. That sound perfect.
