“Mmm?” She pulls her sleeping mask slowly from her face. Her bruises have darkened, and her hair is a mat of curls.
“Why did you tell Mom we were here?”
“Because I need her, why do you think? What time is it? Is she here?”
“Yeah. Downstairs.”
She sits up and yawns. “Oh good.”
“You could have told me she was coming, you know.”
“Why? I assumed you’d know I’d call her. If I ever needed her, it’s now.”
“But it’s rude to invite people without telling the host.”
“I thought you’d tell him.”
“Why would I tell him?”
“Because you’d know that I’d call her and that she’d be coming.” I watch her put on her robe and push her feet into her slippers. “This isn’t about you for once, okay? My life is in shambles right now, and I would think you’d be happy Mom is here to be with me.”
She walks out, leaving me to follow. We find Mom just inside the door, talking to Selwyn. Channeling Vivian Leigh in Gone With the Wind, Margot takes the stairs two at a time with her arms outstretched. “Mom!” Mom opens her arms, and they hug as the adagietto from Mahler’s Fifth swells in the background.
Mom holds Margot at arm’s length. “Let me look at you. Oh, this is terrible.”
“I know, Mom. What about the wedding? And my show?” Her voice rises. “Mom, look what he did to my face! The wedding is in three weeks! What am I going to do?” She breaks into her ugly cry.
Mom takes her by the arms and shakes her so that her head wobbles like a rag doll’s. “Margot! Margot, listen to me. You’ve got to stand firm, baby. Now is the time to rely on faith. If you’re not better by the wedding, you’ll get a good makeup artist; that’s all there is to it.”
Margot lowers her eyes in an affected manner that portrays both humility and strength. “You’re right.”
I roll my eyes at the drama. In an attempt to focus on letting go, I haven’t called or tried to contact Mom since I last saw her, and watching her with Margot feels a bit surreal. I finally realize that I need to let go of my idea that we might one day be close. I’m no longer willing to bang my head against the wall Mom has in place. Still, there’s no need for me to act resentful or ugly either, so when it’s clear Margot has calmed down, I walk over and tell Mom hello. She stiffens under my embrace but then hugs me back, if only briefly. She calls to the girls to come and say hello, and they leave their game long enough to give her a hug.
Knowing good and well the girls will only eavesdrop, I suggest they finish their game upstairs.
“Can we go outside?” Margot asks.
“Sure. Put some clothes on first.”
They run upstairs while Mom and Margot find a seat on the couch.
Selwyn says, “May I get you anything, ma’am?”
Margot sniffles. “Is there coffee?”
“He was asking Mom,” I grumble.
Mom says, “Call me Margaret, and coffee would be nice, thank you.”
I follow Selwyn into the kitchen while Mom and Margot converge on the couch. “I’m sorry about this,” I tell him.
“Don’t apologize. There’s plenty of room, plenty of food.”
I glance back at them—Margot clutching a tissue and carrying on, Mom holding her and stroking her hair—and I feel somewhat jealous. I’m a new, sober Piper, yes, but jealousy is jealousy, sober or drunk. I take the plate of bacon to the table while Selwyn puts together a tray of coffee.
Margot calls out, “Shawn, would you mind if my mother joins us for breakfast?”
I practically slam the platter down. “His name is Selwyn, Margot. Selwyn.”
“I’m sorry! It was a slip. I apologize, Selwyn. I’m a mess right now, if you haven’t noticed. Please forgive me.”
“Hey, no worries. And of course everyone is welcome. We’ve got plenty.” He leans in close to my ear. “You okay, Kil?”
“I’m fine, Shawn.”
Minister’s wife that she is, Mom is more than pleasant as we eat and asks Selwyn questions about his job and his house and compliments his cooking. She also asks me about school and my plans for summer vacation. She’s so nice, in fact, I soon feel myself relax. Maybe catastrophes like having to drive your sister to Livermore, after her loser boyfriend has practically beaten her, do bring people together. Or maybe our latest family catastrophe has helped Mom realize she needs me as much as Margot and she wants to make up. I offer to pour her more coffee; she smiles politely and raises her cup. I’m not sure what the hell is going on, but it’s nice to have a family breakfast. I can’t remember the last time we were all together like this.
When we’re finished eating, Sophia pushes her chair back. “Can we go back outside?”
Margot stops her latest text long enough to check her watch. “We’re leaving soon, so no more than fifteen minutes.”
I watch the girls run off. Based on their nonreaction to the news that they’re leaving, I gather the girls knew something else I didn’t know. “Leaving?” I ask.
“Curtis talked to the producers and convinced them no taping until the wedding,” Mom replies. “We’ll get a good makeup artist in the meantime and stay low.”
My gaze shifts back to my fool of a sister. “You’re going back to him? Are you insane? He slept with Danni.”
Mom glances over at Selwyn. “Lower your voice, Piper.”
“Apologies.” I turn back to Margot. “Are you insane?” I say through gritted teeth. “He slept with Danni!”
“He’s more than sorry, P. He knows he messed up.”
Mom pulls back in her chair. “Mathew 26:41: ‘Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.’ Curtis made a mistake. But bottom line, he’s a good Christian, and as Romans 8:1 says, ‘There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.’”
“So you’re saying your daughter should marry a cheat?”
Margot now says, “You don’t understand, P. Curtis and I had a long talk last night. He knows he was wrong. I’m not trying to excuse his behavior, but I’m not sure I was there for him last year the way he needed me to be. We realize none of this would have happened if we had kept our relationship first and everything else second. We lost our focus, and he lost his way.”
Mom nods. “The man needs to be the head of the household, or it becomes a house divided. Don’t you think so, Selwyn?”
Selwyn, obviously startled to be pulled into the conversation, chuckles nervously. “You’re looking at a divorcé here, ma’am—Margaret. I should probably stay out of it. More coffee?”
Mom tells him she’d love more coffee, and he escapes to the kitchen. “Curtis is a good man who made a mistake,” she reiterates.
“Mistakesss,” I say, leaning on the s. “What are you teaching the girls, Margot? Stay with a man who beats you?”
“First of all, he didn’t beat me, and don’t you ever tell anyone he did. And second of all, I’m teaching the girls the importance of forgiveness.”
“Please, I doubt if either of you would be so forgiving if he wasn’t worth a fortune.”
“That’s not true. Margot knows where her riches lie.”
I look over at Margot who has her phone out and is texting furiously.
The girls, dressed by now, run through the kitchen.
“Be careful of those dogs,” Margot says without looking up from her phone. She holds it up so Mom can see what she’s typed.
“Good for you. Do what you have to do.”
Margot says to me, “I just told you know who she shouldn’t expect a cent for the work she’s done on the wedding, and I’m going to sue her ass something good.”
“On what grounds?”
“I’ll get Curtis’s lawyers to figure that out. I’m going to ta
ke her for everything she has; I know that much. She should be happy I don’t go over there and kick her skinny butt. Fucking two-faced bitch.”
Selwyn, who has since returned with coffee, clears his throat lightly.
“I’m so sorry you have to hear all of this, Selwyn,” Mom says demurely. “You must think we’re the most dysfunctional family there is.”
“We are,” I mutter, rising from the table. “I think I’ll go outside for a while.”
Selwyn shoots up from his seat. “Mind if I join you?”
“Tell the girls five minutes,” Mom says.
“Margot, they just left.”
“I realize that, but we need to get back, and we’ve taken up enough of your friend’s time as it is.”
“His name is Selwyn,” I tell her, but she and Mom both have their phones out and either don’t hear me or choose to ignore me. I glare at them both until I feel Selwyn’s hand on my back.
“It’s okay, Kil. Let’s go.”
Far off in the distance, Margot pushes Sophia on a tire swing while the dogs bound around them. Selwyn and I are in no rush and walk at a languid pace. I’m seething inside, though. I thought at the very least Mom was here to help, but she only showed up to take the girls away, right when they were starting to relax and have fun. And then there’s my idiotic sister.
“You okay?” Selwyn asks.
“I’m fine, except I worry that my sister is teaching my nieces that they should put up with bull.” I add halfheartedly, “I’m starting to wonder if there’s a way I can keep them legally. I could certainly charge on grounds of neglect and foolish parenting.”
“On the bright side, considering all that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, it’s nice that they can be kids right now and relax.”
He has a point, of course. I also know that I need to calm down. To that end, I take a deep breath and gaze at the vineyards and sloping hills. “Hailey would have loved it here.”
“It’s a good place for children.”
“Adults, too,” I say. “I really have to apologize for my family.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s nice having you here, Kil.”
“You’re kidding, right? This has been total chaos.”
“Not at all. And you’re here. I still can’t get over that.”
“Well, thanks for having me. And thanks for being so nice to my family.” I stare at him briefly. We did nothing last night except to share a couple of long hugs, but I feel myself blush, nonetheless. “It’s nice being here. With you,” I add cautiously.
He starts to say something but stops himself. Starts again. Stops.
“What?”
“I know your family is leaving, but if you want to stay longer, I’d love to have you. There’s plenty of room, and you can start your summer vacation off right.” He raises his hands. “Strictly platonic, of course.”
I gaze around the property. It’s a tempting offer. Very tempting. Although—“strictly platonic”?
“I’d love to take you out to dinner, but it doesn’t have to mean anything other than a nice meal. Now that you’re here, I don’t want to ruin anything. I’d like to get to know you and take things slow. I don’t want to mess this up, Kil.”
“I don’t either. And dinner would be nice.” I look down at my clothes. Except for the T-shirt Margot loaned me, I’m wearing the same outfit I had on yesterday, which, thanks to all the drama, feels like days ago. “I can’t go out to dinner like this, though.”
“Not a problem. I can drive you back to your apartment so you can pack a few things, or you can borrow my car. So what do you think about the offer?”
I bring my hand to my brow and watch the girls briefly. If I stay, we can continue talking and stargazing. Watch movies and take walks. And given more time, when I’m more sure-footed in my sobriety and settled in my life, who knows? Maybe Selwyn and I can have something real together. I’d like that, actually. And I like the idea of taking things slow, starting with a few days together. “Thanks for the invite, Selwyn. I think I’ll stay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Really really?”
“Yeah, really really. I hope you’re more articulate as a lawyer.” I laugh.
“What can I say, Kil? You rob me of all verbal skill. I feel like a kid around you.”
We smile at each other until he holds up his hand, which I take. We then walk toward the girls, hand in hand, not letting go until we’re close enough that they can see us.
“Aunt P, check this out!” Margot yells. She pushes Sophia higher, and Sophia lets out a delighted scream.
“I hate to tell you, but they want you back at the house.”
“Already?” Sophia asks.
“’Fraid so.”
She asks Margot to help her stop the swing. “But we don’t want to go, Aunt P. We’ve only been here, like, less than twenty-four hours.” She climbs out of the tire, then bends down and strokes Ella’s ear. The dog buckles at her touch.
Selwyn says, “You both will come back soon; that’s all there is to it. You and your family are always welcome.”
They look up at him, not believing a word. “You mean it?” Margot asks.
“Absolutely.”
“Just let me know when you want to come back for a visit and we’ll come back. I’ll bring you.” I glance at Selwyn to see if this is okay.
“Whenever you want,” he says with a firm nod.
“Okay, then. Let’s go, Sophia.”
They walk ahead of us, but I overhear Sophia ask Margot: “You think Ingleton will be like this?”
“Like what?”
“You know, like a lot of trees and stuff.”
“Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”
I stop short. “Girls . . . what’s this Ingleton?”
The girls shoot each other panicked looks.
“Girls?”
“We can’t say,” Margot says.
“Mom made us promise not to tell you.”
“Go back to the swing.”
“But—”
Anything Margot is keeping the girls from telling me cannot be good. “Go back to the swing. I’ll come and get you in a minute.”
I don’t need to explain to Selwyn that something is awry. “I’ll stay with them,” he says. “Give you some privacy.”
“Thanks.”
Mom and Margot chat as though everything is perfectly normal as they descend the stairs. “What the hell is Ingleton?”
Margot throws her head back. “They told?” she says, then tromps down the stairs and sets her suitcase on the floor. “I specifically told them to keep their mouths shut.”
“They didn’t tell. I overheard them. So what is it?”
“A school.”
“What kind of school?”
“A good school,” Mom interjects. “They’ll be taught good Christian values.”
“I know most of the schools around here, and I’ve never heard of it.”
“It’s in Oregon,” Margot says with a sigh. “It’s a boarding school, okay?”
“Boarding school? Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“Piper Michelle, watch your mouth,” Mom chides.
“Curtis and I need time after the wedding to continue to work on the show, and you know training starts for him.”
“Margot, we’re talking about your children. You can’t get rid of them because your schedule is busy.”
“But Curtis and I want to start a family ourselves, and we need time alone. And it’s a good school. We did our research.”
I try to will myself to calm down, to think of AA slogans and advice from Deacon Morris, but I’m so angry, nothing comes to mind. She can’t send them away. What does shipping them off to boarding school say to them exce
pt that they’re not wanted? As egotistical as she is, how can she possibly kick them out of her life? My life. Because it comes down to that, too, I have to admit. I’m closer to those girls than I am to my sister or my mom. I can’t lose them.
“Please don’t do this, Margot. It’s not right. Think of what you’re saying to them by sending them away.”
“If they don’t like it, we agreed they can come back in a year. It’s not a big deal, P.”
“But it is. An entire year away from their family is too long. Let them stay with me.”
“They may as well stay with me, if they’re going to stay with you,” says Mom. “It’s a good school. They’ll be fine.”
“No they won’t, Margot. They’re too young to be sent away, and you know I’ll look after them; they practically live with me as it is.”
“No, we’ve already decided, P. They want to go.”
“That’s a lie.”
“They’ll like it once they get there,” she quips.
“When did you decide to do this?”
“I don’t know. A few months ago. Like I said, Curtis and I want to have a baby, and now that I have my show—it’s the best solution.”
“Don’t forget Danielle,” Mom interjects.
“Yes, after what happened with that slut, Curtis and I need time alone more than ever. The girls can focus on school, and my husband and I can focus on starting over again.”
She’s not getting it. Not hearing me at all. I step closer so that we’re almost nose to nose. I need to make her understand. I fear the girls will think they’re unloved if they’re sent packing just because she’s newly married, and they’re too young to be sent away. What is she thinking?
“Don’t do it, Margot, please. A year without their mother is too long. I know they act mature, but they’re still little girls who need their mother.” I take her hand. I slow my breath. “Margot, you have only so much time with your children. And even that’s not promised.”
She understands exactly what I’m saying and lowers her gaze. “I realize that, P. But I have to do what I think is best for my children. I know they spend a lot of time with you, but they’re mine. Mine. And they’re going.”
I snatch my hand away. “How can you be so heartless? You wouldn’t be sending them away if they were Curtis’s children. If those kids were his, there’s no way you two would be sending them away; he wouldn’t let you. If and when you get pregnant, just watch how you treat the baby as opposed to those girls. And they’ll see the difference, just like I saw the difference with how Mom treated you when you were born.”
Shake Down the Stars Page 27
