by Anne Jolin
I lay my head down on his chest and we both try to catch our breath. He’s still inside me as he wraps his arms around me, softly stroking my back.
“That was fucking amazing,” he says, and I laugh because it always is. “I love you, Hannah.”
I lay my head over his lion heart and smile. “I love you too, Greyson.”
I don’t know what love feels like for other people. But for me, when I look at him, it feels like coming home.
The End
To start off, this book would not have been possible without the love, support and encouragement of my amazingly talented friends Kristi Webster and Heather Dahlgren. I could not be more grateful to have you in my life, I cherish our friendships deeply. Thank you for answering all my thousands (Okay, let’s be honest... More like millions!) of questions and never once allowing me to give up or lose faith in myself. Thank you for the countless hours filled with laughter and Kristi, thank you for the endless stream of hilarious Facebook stickers. You both inspire me daily. I respect you. I love you, and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
A massive thank you to my beta readers and friends, both new and old: Larni Phipps, Mcartney Frederickson, Kirstin Sware, Ashlea Wallace, Wendy Colby, Nikki Mccrae, Alexandra Godfrey, Jackie Lynch, Elizabeth Thiele and Dena Nannoshi. God bless each and every one of you for putting up with me during this process! Thank you for your honesty, and for helping me make this book the best it could be. I could not have done this without you! You have all helped instill a confidence in me that I cannot thank you enough for. You all have such beautiful hearts and I never would have made it here without your positivity. I love each and every one of you!
Thank you to my editor, Anna Coy. You were a wealth of knowledge and helped me with so many things; most of which had absolutely nothing to do with the book, but you helped me every single time and never seemed bothered with all my questions.
Thank you to my editor, Mickey Reed. You are an absolute sweetheart and this book would not be here without you! I look forward to our poolside margaritas and football games!
Thank you to my brilliant formatter Stacey Blake from Champagne Formats. Thank you for making my words look so beautiful. The work you do is phenomenal and I am so grateful you took me on as a client.
If I could thank this man hundreds of times, I would. Heartfelt thanks to Cro Alen for providing the perfect photo for the cover of this book. Your excitement to be a part of this journey, and your kindness meant so much to me. I wish you great success, you deserve it! You are as handsome on the inside as you are on the outside and I am beyond thrilled to have you as my Greyson.
Melissa Gill at MG Book Covers you deserve a standing ovation for the stunning book cover you designed. It is gorgeous and I am absolutely in love with it. A million times thank you! Working with you has been amazing and I am already excited for our next cover together.
Thank you to Stephanie Phillips at Stephanie’s Book Reports for hosting my cover reveal and blog tour. It has been such a pleasure working with you.
Lastly, a thousand times thank you to my husband Jacob. Thank you for supporting my dream even if that meant there were no clean clothes, lots of take-out dinners and a messy house. Thank you for making sure I ate and got enough sleep so I wasn’t a zombie for my day job. I am incredibly blessed to be loved by you.
I’m twenty four years old. I was born and raised in Ladner, a small farm town just outside of Vancouver, Canada. I grew up riding horses, shooting guns with my daddy and driving my ’99 red chevy truck, Clifford (Yup! That part’s real). I’ve been together with my handsome redneck, Jacob, for five years and this August we will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary. I am completely and utterly obsessed with country music. I love to snowboard, go on walks with Bear (Not a real bear silly! Our chocolate lab) and I love to plan events; I don’t know if that’s considered a real hobby, but it is for me!
We were fortunate enough to travel a lot as a family, and I think that helped spark my love of reading. I’m half Viking, my mom is Danish, and her entire side of the family still lives in Denmark. We’d visit them almost once a year, every year and it’s a nine hour flight. That’s a lot of uninterrupted time to read (or in my parent’s case, entertain four children – Yikes!). My love of reading quickly turned into a passion for writing. I loved to write short stories and although I majored in Business Management, I took as many English electives I could get my hands on at college.
I’m a reader, turned blogger, turned author. I started a blog this June ’14 because I love to talk about the amazing books I’ve read, and after a few suggestions that I try writing a book, I decided to give it a go. I loved it instantly! Having always been a creative person, it felt amazing to harness all that energy and use it to tell a story that I love.
I am beyond excited to be embarking on this new journey as an author, and if you want to keep up to date with me you can always come find me on,
Website – www.annejolin.com
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/authorannejolin
Twitter - @authorannejolin or https://www.twitter.com/authorannejolin
Instagram - @annejolin or http://instagram.com/annejolin
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8388273.Anne_Jolin
Xo.
Coming Fall 2014
Here are a couple snippets of other books you might enjoy...
5 months earlier…
We were dead. Not a soul had walked into the café for the last two hours, which was completely insane for New York City. The Taylor Swift concert in Central Park had completely stolen away all of our patrons. Bored to tears, I scrolled through my phone, looking at pictures of me and Brayden.
Brayden was the love of my life. We met our first year at Columbia in Freshman Comp. His messy blond hair and crystal blue eyes had captivated me from the moment he sat down beside me. We had started out as friends but quickly morphed into lovers. He stole my breath every time I saw him. Even to this day.
Bray was at Columbia on a baseball scholarship, studying Architecture like me. Now that graduation was just two weeks away, we’d be able to start focusing on the rest of our lives. A few months ago, on Valentine’s Day, he proposed to me in Central Park. It was terribly cliché and romantic. Of course now, instead of focusing on finals, I could only think of my upcoming wedding and becoming the future Mrs. Brayden Greene.
I stopped on a recent picture of us after a baseball game. We were so happy, smiling back in the photo. The All-American couple. I thought this picture would be the perfect one for our engagement announcement that was going to go in the newspaper soon.
Dragging me out of my daydreaming, my boss Jeanie hollered at me. “Honey, you might as well go home. I can’t afford for us to be this slow and pay you to drool over your fiancé. Think of it as your engagement present. Your one and only day to ever get out early. You can thank Taylor Swift.”
Completely excited over the news because I never got to leave early, I ran over and pulled the gruff woman into a hug. “Thank you, Jeanie!” I exclaimed. Pushing me away with a grunt, she said, “Well, go before I change my mind, little lady. And don’t get any ideas about this happening again.” Thank you, Taylor Swift.
Bray and I hardly ever got to spend evenings together because of my job at the café and his playing baseball. This evening I was going to surprise him. Give him a taste of what a good wife I could be. He was going to love what I planned on doing to him once I got hold of his sexy body.
Practically skipping the two blocks to my dorm, I rushed into my room and changed out of my uniform. I put on my new black lingerie that I’d been dying to show him and stopped to admire myself in the mirror. Heels. I needed heels to complete the look. Just as I slipped them on, the door flung open, revealing my roommate Pepper.
“What the hell, Andi!” she screeched covering her eyes as she made a beeline to her desk.
“I got out of work early and I’m going to surprise Bray,” I t
old her, smiling. Even with her back to me, I could tell she was rolling her eyes. Pepper was an adorable girl, but she hid behind her glasses, Columbia sweatshirts, and messy buns. She was one of the most intelligent people I had ever met.
Having been placed together as dorm mates, we instantly became the best of friends. I was the sweet, innocent girl in love with a baseball player. She was the Victoria’s Secret model dressed as a nerd with a little—okay, a lot—of attitude. We came from different worlds and liked different things but meshed incredibly well.
“Are you going to prance on over to his room dressed like a hooker?” she asked in her sardonic tone.
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “No way! I’m going to wear my coat. He won’t know what hit him,” I laughed. She tried to sound annoyed with me, but Pepper was in no way immune to my happy-girl charms and let out a chuckle.
Wrapping up in my jacket, I blew her a kiss as I walked out the door. Bray wouldn’t be expecting me for few more hours so he was going to be shocked when he saw me. He told me he’d be studying for finals in his room while I was working, so I knew he’d be there. And if his roommate Josh was there, I was going to tell him to get lost. I missed Bray and I wanted to have some hot sex with my fiancé. Fiancé. I still couldn’t get used to the idea.
When I got to his room, I quietly opened it, wanting to surprise him. Realizing that the lights were off and that he might be napping, I decided I was going to hop into bed with him and really surprise my man. That was until I heard the moan. What in the world is he doing over there?
Hesitantly, I fumbled for the switch. My eyes froze in horror at the scene before me. A naked girl—with really big boobs—was bouncing on MY naked Brayden. What? I was having trouble processing how a naked girl was with MY fiancé.
Everything went in slow motion at that point. The girl jumped up, scrambling for clothes. Brayden asked me what I was doing there while covering himself with the blanket. I was backing out of the room, tears wickedly streaming. He called after me as I ran away. The man had effectively smashed my heart to pieces.
The trip back to my room was a blur. Once I burst through our door, I met Pepper’s eyes. She instantly held her arms open to me, and I ran into them.
“Brayden is a bastard,” she whispered, stroking my hair, knowing without words what had happened. My life was ruined. This happy girl would no longer ever be happy.
A dark two weeks…
I can’t breathe. My heart actually physically hurts. How is this even possible? I thought they were joking when they talked about broken hearts.
But they weren’t lying. This shit hurt! How will I make it without him? I love him. But he ruined everything when he slept with that bitch. God, I hate him. I miss him.
For two days now, I just lie here, thinking about what would have happened had I not walked in. Would we still be getting married? Nothing can bring me out of this terrible place. Pepper tries, but she can’t even begin to even touch the depths of where I am now.
School doesn’t matter. Food sucks. Hygiene? What’s that? She keeps threatening to call my mom but all I hear is “blah, blah, blah”. Whatever.
He keeps texting me, but how can I begin to ever even talk to him? I’m afraid if I see him that I’ll just run right to his arms, hoping he’ll make it all better. But I know deep down that isn’t right. If he did it once, he’ll probably do it again. God, my heart hurts so fucking bad!
I guess I’ll just cry myself to sleep…again.
Present
“Come on, Andi! I don’t have all day. Some of us have been ready for hours,” Pepper called to me from the living room. Of course she’d been ready for hours. She was wearing jeans and a sweater for crying out loud, and it probably took two minutes to readjust her bun.
“Perfection takes time,” I told Olive, who was sitting on my bed while I applied the last of my makeup. “You sure you don’t want to go with us, hon?” I asked, turning to look at her. Olive was our new friend. She was a gorgeous black girl with legs that went on for miles. Her hair was smooth as silk and her eyes were the palest orbs that contrasted vividly against her chocolate skin.
Olive moved in with us about a month ago. She somehow managed to escape an extremely abusive relationship but had nowhere to go. When I found her crying at the café one day, I took her under my wing, praying Pepper would be okay with it. Of course Pepper fell in love with the leggy chocolate goddess as well, and she’d been living with us ever since.
Olive got modeling gigs left and right because she was perfection personified. But her fears of her ex sometimes cripple her socially. A lot of times. Like tonight, she was adamantly shaking her head to my offer. She had a fear that she might run into Drake and he’d drag her away from us, never to be seen again. It always gave me the shivers to think about what he must have done to her to make her so afraid. And the fact that she refused to ever let us see her without being fully clothed made me wonder if he’d done something to her body. Just the thought made me sick to my stomach.
The modeling jobs she took were mostly for magazines. She absolutely refused to do any live modeling at shows even though that would have been the best way for her to get noticed by more well-known agents. Olive gave us money when she got paid on these jobs, but we never asked her for any. We just wanted our girl safe with us.
I didn’t make much money at the café so Pepper was our breadwinner. Well, if you call having a monthly trust fund “breadwinning” then she was definitely it. Her dad was a high-powered attorney there in the city and didn’t want his little girl to hurt for anything. We lived in a sweet little apartment and didn’t hurt for much either thanks to Pepper being “Daddy’s Little Girl.” Oh, and she played the part so well. The girl could be downright bitchy, but when—Daddy—was around, her voice was as sweet as sugar.
Thankfully, I was going to start my new job on Monday and would be able to help Pepper out more than just buying the groceries. Even though her dad took care of a lot for us, I still felt guilty about being a total freeloader. Today was my last day at the café and now we were going to celebrate. It took several months after college of applying all over the city to finally land a job at Compton Enterprises. The job I really wanted was to be an architect, but working as an assistant at an architectural firm was a good foot in the door. Everyone has to start somewhere.
“One day I’ll go with you guys. But it’s just too soon. Please have fun for me. I have a date with American Idol,” she smiled at me.
“Okay, fine. But I’m holding you to it. Now, how do I look?” I asked her, flipping my hair over my shoulder.
Ever since the day I found Brayden cheating on me, something in me snapped. Gone was the blond-haired innocent. Gone was my optimism. My outlook on life and love had been ruined the moment I saw that girl’s big tits bouncing as she rode my man. He had stolen it all away from me when he decided to sleep with some bimbo after almost four years of dating.
Now, I was this hard, jaded woman. Away had gone my conservative ways and I had welcomed my inner skank. I glanced at my reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall. My platinum-blond hair was flat-ironed perfectly straight halfway down my back. I had carefully made up my face, complete with smoky eyes and plump red lips. The dress I chose to wear was black, tight, and short. Just the way I liked it. The plunging neckline revealed my adequate cleavage. My red pumps put me up three inches higher than my five foot seven frame.
“You look beautiful as always, Andi,” Olive genuinely assured, making me smile at her.
I was in “Man-Killer Mode” as Pepper called it. I’d have them falling at my feet tonight. One of them would get lucky too. I was on the prowl, and even Pepper wouldn’t be able to tame me. This Friday night was about to get crazy.
“Thanks, babe. See you in the morning,” I waved to her as I grabbed my clutch and walked out my bedroom door. Pepper was curled up in the recliner reading a book. “Let’s go, bitch,” I told her as I shrugged into my coat.
; “About time, bitch,” she shot at me, picking up hers from the back of the chair as she stood up. Man-Killer Mode: Activated.
A dark two weeks…
Today, I am absolutely sick to my stomach. Not eating hardly anything for several days straight has sent my body into a tailspin. My head throbs, I’m weak, my body hurts, and now I am throwing up. Pepper told me earlier that things were getting out of control, that she was going to drag me out of the bed if I didn’t get my act together soon. I just flipped her off and threw the covers over my head.
Thankfully, I was caught up on all of my classes before the “incident.” I was really just waiting to take my finals. I have worked my ass off for four years. Surely I can take the week off without catching flak from Pepper. Wishful thinking.
My heart still hurts so fucking bad. I keep playing reruns over and over again of “what-ifs”. Every scenario ends the same. Bray is a cheater. He even had the nerve to come to my dorm room, but luckily Pepper ran interference.
Hearing his voice successfully caused me to break down all over again. He was begging her. She was cussing him out. I was sobbing uncontrollably.
Will it ever get better? I’ll never be able to love or trust again. Brayden was it for me. Now I have nothing.
I’m looking at myself in the mirror and it doesn’t even look like me. My hair is curled, my makeup is heavily put on, and this dress was my mom’s when she was in high school. It is much too short for a girl of 16 to be wearing. There is a knock on my door before it opens. “Well, look at you baby girl. You look all grown up. Here I brought you these high heels to put on; they will make your legs look longer.” My mom puts the heels down on the floor and I step into them. “Now my friend Ted will be here soon, so let’s go over everything again.”
