by Wendy Knight
Funny, my father had said the same thing to me countless times.
I shook off that memory and without meaning to, caught that strand of hair between my fingers, sliding it across my skin, soft like a rose petal. "How can I help?" I murmured.
She swayed toward me, almost like she couldn't help it. "I—you can't. No one can. I even called her mom. She said Navi had to fight her own battles but that she was tough and it would be okay."
"Parents don't always know best," I said tightly.
Chapter 13
Konstanz
Seeing Bryson again in the wee hours of the morning had been a salve to my tattered soul. I wanted to hate him still, but I couldn't. It was too much work and after Navi's last lecture, about how offended she was that I thought she couldn't handle herself, my resolve had been shaken.
Seeing him again was all it took to shatter it. I needed a friend. I needed someone to help shoulder this burden because I'd nearly lost Navi when she'd come home this morning. So much blood. I hadn't been able to get it out of the tile. It still stained my hands.
I couldn't do this alone. Not anymore.
And I missed him. I missed him so much it hurt. All the time.
"We need a plan," he was talking, but I was lost in his eyes, in the worry there. He looked awful, hadn't shaved in several days from the looks of it, and hadn't slept, either. "I'll follow her—" he continued.
I froze, jerked out of my own head. "What? No. That's not safe."
His eyes softened as he came a step closer, so close I could feel his breath on my skin. "If I don't, you're going to. I'm not wrong, am I? That was your plan for tonight."
"How did you—" I stopped, giving myself away.
He nodded toward my cart. Flashlights, extra batteries. All those things could have been just for use around the house, but with everything else in my cart...they'd given me away. "You can't go alone," I finished lamely.
His gaze hardened and he pulled away from me. "You're not going, Konstanz. I didn't do what I did so you could go get yourself killed a few days later."
I raised an eyebrow. "What you did?"
"I made you hate me. Because I tried to save you instead of her. So if you think there's a chance in hell that you're going out there tonight—"
I drew myself to my full height, which wasn't much compared to his, and crossed my arms over my chest. "You don't get to say what I do and don't do, Bryson. Not anymore."
"I never did," he said softly. "Doesn't mean it's going to stop me."
"That's great, Bryson. You just go ahead and keep thinking what you say means a damn thing to me."
I'd hurt him. I could see pain, hot and sharp, flash across his face, and I expected his anger. It didn't come. "Hate me all you want, Konstanz. Tell me to leave you alone, tell me to never see you again. It won't matter. I'll keep coming back, I'll keep protecting you. I love you too much to let you go out there and get yourself killed."
I froze, the hot anger evaporating like he'd thrown cold water over it. It took me several seconds to form words that were even remotely coherent. "You—what?"
"You heard me. I'm not letting you go out there alone. And if I have to choose between her and you, it will be you, every time. So hate me if you want, but—"
"You said—you said you loved me," I whispered.
He swallowed hard, and I was afraid of his denial. I was afraid of how much it would hurt me. But no denial came. "I do, Konstanz. More than I ever thought possible." His voice was harsh, strangled, and full of pain. "I'm so crazy, madly, insanely in love with you that I can't think or eat or feel anything without you. It takes everything I have just to survive from one hellish second to the next knowing you hate me like you do."
"I don't hate you, Bryson," I said quietly. "I'm angry at you. But I don't hate you. I could never."
He closed the distance between us a little more, the hope clashing with the pain in his eyes. "You said you hated me, Konstanz." His voice broke.
I'd done that. I'd hurt him so bad I'd broken him.
"I know. I was angry and I was scared. I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't true, and I'm sorry."
"You have no idea—I haven't been able to sleep—you don't hate me?"
I smiled. "No."
"How can I earn your forgiveness, then? I want you back, Konstanz. I want you in my arms again. I don't ever want to wake up and know I'm facing a day without you in it. Not ever again. How do I do that?" He was so vulnerable, like he'd torn open his soul for me to see.
"You don't need my forgiveness, Bryson. I have nothing to forgive."
"Yes. You do. I can't forgive myself for what I did. I can't expect you to."
I realized, a horrible realization that drove shards of pain through my heart, that making that decision, the one I'd screamed and fought him over, the one I'd told him I hated him over, it had hurt him as much as it hurt me. He hadn't left Navi lightly. It had slaughtered him like it had me.
And I'd made it worse.
"Bryson, you can't—she's okay. She came home safe that night. We would have gotten in her way, I believe that now."
He sucked in a breath and looked away.
Tentatively, no longer afraid of his denial or his anger, I rose on my toes, leaning against him. I could feel the race of his heart against my chest, could see the pounding of his pulse in his throat. I pressed my lips there, the smooth skin against my mouth as his head whipped back toward me. Without a word, he tipped my head to his and his lips devoured me, one arm snaking around my waist to hold me against him, molding me to his body and keeping me there like he would never let go.
He loved me.
"Come home with me?" So much vulnerability in those words, I hated to deny him. But I had to.
"Navi shouldn't be left alone. Not for a while. Come home with me?" I asked instead.
He smiled, beautiful, heartbreaking, soul-healing. I had missed that smile.
So, so much.
"You share a room..." he started, and I nodded.
"We'll have to behave. But I—I've missed you." My voice trembled, betraying me. "I don't want to say goodbye yet."
His eyes softened and he nodded, brushing a kiss across my nose. "Of course."
NAVI still slept when we got back to the apartment, deathly pale, lips a sickly gray. I'd never been so scared in my life when she'd stumbled in just after the sun rose. There was so much blood. The gash had been deep—deeper than my stitches were good for, probably. I'm guessing she required surgery, but she'd been adamant and I hadn't dare fight with her. Every erratic gesture as she tried to tell me she couldn't go had caused more blood to gush from the wound.
I checked her pulse, which was stronger than I'd been hoping for. A good sign. Bryson was in the bathroom, scrubbing the tiles. The tiles I hadn't been able to get the blood from. He was some kind of domestic wizard, though, because he got it out, except for stains in the grout but it was dark gray and barely noticeable. Hopefully. Or Reese was going to kill us.
I gathered our blood-soaked clothing and tossed it all into the bathtub to soak. I'd have to wash it later and hope the stains would come out. Otherwise, Navi owed me a new pair of pajamas. The sweats I'd changed into somehow had blood on them, too. It was everywhere. Even when I closed my eyes that was all I saw.
"How's she doing?" he asked in a hushed whisper. He leaned against the doorjamb, watching quietly. I glanced at Navi, who hadn't moved since she laid down.
"Better than I expected, actually." I leaned back against him and his arms came around my waist. I was safe here, in his embrace. Navi would be fine. Whatever monster had done this couldn't get us in here.
"You need to sleep. Do you have to work today?" he asked, his mouth against my hair.
I shook my head, suddenly so exhausted I wasn't sure I could make the four steps to my bed. He toed off his shoes and tugged his shirt over his head and sleep was momentarily the last thing on my mind. His skin was soft and flawless, muscles tight under my fingers. He lau
ghed softly and turned me away from him, guiding me to my bed. "We'll have the rest of our lives, Konstanz. Right now, you need to sleep."
We'll have the rest of our lives.
He loved me.
I sank onto the mattress and he pulled off my shoes before lifting my legs up and tucking them under the covers. Then he slid in next to me, wrapping me again in his arms.
Safe.
I watched Navi, fighting to keep my eyes open. I'd set an alarm for every hour, so I could check on her. Still, I was afraid to blink, afraid she wouldn't be breathing when I looked again. "What are we going to do about her?" I asked softly. "It can't go on like this."
Bryson was quiet for several long minutes, and I thought he'd gone to sleep when he finally answered. "I'll take care of it."
I had no idea what he meant by that, but it sounded dangerous and ominous and all kinds of worrisome things. "Bryson," I started. He kissed my temple and cut me off.
"Don't worry, K. It will be okay."
"Whatever you're thinking, it's dangerous. We need to talk about this. Maybe go to the police—"
"If Navi hasn't gone by now, there's a reason. Let me find out what she's doing first, and then we'll make a plan of action. Sound good?"
"No. It sounds like you're putting yourself in danger."
He chuckled softly and brushed the hair from my face. "You're beautiful. Do you realize that?"
I rolled my eyes, but I was so tired they almost wouldn't open again. "You're changing the subject."
"Research like this is my job, Konstanz. I do it for my father all the time."
"Really?" He talked so little about his job that I latched onto the information.
He nodded. "I'll just observe and report back. Then we'll figure out what to do. Okay? I'll call in a favor, see what my dad knows." He hesitated and I could see that the thought didn't appeal to him at all.
But he'd do it. For me. Because I was scared.
"Thank you."
He smiled. "Now sleep. I want to wake up with you in my arms and I can't do that if you don't go to sleep first."
I snuggled down into the covers and let my eyes fall shut, but fear made them open almost without my consent. She still breathed. I peeked up at Bryson. He watched her, too. His gaze returned to me and he smiled again. "I'll count her breaths."
So I could sleep.
Chapter 14
Bryson
The clock read past noon when I woke up. Konstanz had gotten up hourly to check on Navi, whose color finally returned bit by bit. Like she was slowly coming back to life. Suffice it to say, none of us had gotten much rest.
"Hey," Konstanz smiled up at me. I'd assumed she was still asleep, but she watched me, the light brown eyes sparkling.
I kissed her forehead. "Hey, beautiful. Did you sleep at all?"
She nodded and burrowed closer to me. My arms tightened protectively around her, wishing we could stay there for the rest of the day. I had her back. I thought—I hadn't had any hope. I thought I'd lost her forever. In my darkest hour, she lit my way.
But she hadn't told me she loved me. It was too much to expect, I knew, but hope made me stupid. I was satisfied with her not hating me. Hopefully, love would come, assuming I didn't mess up again.
Beyond the door, Reese and Terrie were awake. I could hear the noise, but it was kept to a bare minimum, like somehow they understood what had happened that morning. I remembered Navi said they were having some sort of gathering the next day, so hopefully that meant today would be quiet.
Until the fighting started.
Konstanz growled under her breath. "I swear, they're like little kids." She sat up, throwing the covers off and stormed out, shutting the door with quiet force behind her. I could hear her anger, hear her tell them Navi was sick, even in her hushed tones. I sighed, my dream of spending the day in bed shattered, and got up to follow her out.
"Bryson. This is unexpected." Reese raised an eyebrow.
"Morning."
"Good morning, Bryson," Terrie purred.
Konstanz grinned and ruffled my hair before she turned the force of her glare back on her roommates. "Hungry?"
"I could eat. Wanna go for breakfast?" Bryson answered when neither of them bothered to.
"I don't know if I should leave Navi..." She gnawed on her lip, eyes trailing back to her room.
"Navi's fine." The voice definitely did not sound fine, but Navi shuffled out of the bedroom, hunched slightly over her wound. "But damn I have scratchy clothes."
"Her wound is on her back," Konstanz whispered against my shoulder.
I left Konstanz in the kitchen and went back to their room, grabbing my shirt off the bed as Navi followed me more slowly. "Here. My clothes are softer than yours."
Navi blinked, still frightening pale. "You just gonna wander around shirtless all day?"
"I'll swing by my place and grab another one. It's fine." I tossed her the shirt, but her cat-like reflexes failed her and it landed at her feet. She whimpered and started to reach for it.
Konstanz beat her to it. "I told you not to bend, Navi. You could tear the stitches. I wish I could put a cone on you or something." She handed Navi my blue shirt and huffed.
"I'm not a dog," Navi said as Konstanz helped tug the shirt over her head. She had a sports bra on and bandages. Bandages everywhere.
What had happened last night?
"And yet you have a vet take care of your wounds," Konstanz snarled. "Go back to bed."
"I'm hungry," Navi mewed. "I missed breakfast and lunch!"
Konstanz sighed. "Fine. I'll run get you something. Just go back to bed."
Navi nodded, defeated, and shuffled away. It was frightening, given how quickly she usually moved, how confidently. It was like watching Achilles fall. We had to stop this from happening again.
"I've actually got to make some phone calls. Can I meet you for dinner?" I slid my fingers around Konstanz's, bringing her hand to my lips.
Her eyes widened and she nodded. "Are you sure you're okay to call him?"
No. I wasn't sure. I didn't want to talk to him at all, let alone ask for his help. But Navi wouldn't survive another night like this. "Yep."
She walked me out and kissed me so hard it was difficult to say goodbye, or focus on the entire drive home. And the research I did for the next several hours was not my most efficient, with that kiss still on my lips. Even so, I searched local gangs, hospital records, police records, anything that I could find online that might explain what Navi was caught up in. Whatever had attacked us that night—it wasn't human, but maybe some kind of trained attack dog. It was dark. It was possible our eyes played tricks on us.
But Astoria had a relatively low crime rate, and very few violent crimes reported.
And yet...a shockingly high number of unsolved murders through the years.
As far as I could tell, they hadn't even been investigated. Just reported and forgotten.
How did that even make sense?
I ran out of things to look for just before dinner. Which meant I had no choice.
I had to call him.
He'd been the one to send me out here, after all. To look for the exact thing I was finding now. Which meant that whatever he'd been looking for, it was here.
I just wish he trusted me enough to tell me what, exactly, that was.
His was number three on my speed dial. Konstanz was number two.
"Bryson. It's been a while." His voice was too smooth, too calculating for a simple hello.
"Hi...Dad." It had never felt natural calling him such an endearing term. "I've run into something here. I wanted to run it by you and see if you had any ideas."
He had a huge corporation. He had hundreds of employees and so much money, lavish was an understatement. And yet in this, it was us. He and I were the only ones who knew about his little projects. He trusted no one. Not even me, because while I searched the parameters for him, he didn't ever tell me what it was he searched the world over for. Just paid
me well and told me to keep my mouth shut.
"What's going on?"
I rattled off everything that had happened, keeping it to the facts without any messy emotions like fear or worry to get in the way. He didn't like emotion. It was a waste of time.
"My friend is in trouble but we have no idea what she's into. I'm thinking gang-related, but this...I don't know. They're not a huge force in Astoria."
He was quiet for several long seconds but I could almost feel how pleased he was without him saying a word. "It sounds like an agent."
"A what? Is that—what?"
"We can't be sure. You'll have to follow your friend, Bryson. Find out what exactly she's doing. I'll expect a report in the morning."
"Oh, yeah. She won't be going to work tonight. She can barely walk. I'll report back—"
"She'll go to work tonight. Call me when you have more information."
He hung up.
I had no idea what an agent was, and Googling didn't help at all because there were ten thousand different kinds of agents and none of them worked in jobs that would involve blood and death and swords. By the time Konstanz knocked, I was out of ideas. But I knew Navi wouldn't be going to work that night. He'd underestimated just how bad her injuries were.
I swung the door open. "Hey, gorgeous."
She looked a hundred times better than she had when I'd left her, but worry and fear still clouded her eyes.
"Hey." She smiled, leaning up on her toes to kiss me and suddenly I had no desire to eat or do anything that required leaving the apartment. She apparently had other ideas, though, because she practically dragged me out the door and down the stairs to her car.
"I haven't eaten today and my stomach is about to devour itself. Do you have any preferences?"
Yes, but none that we would find at a restaurant. "You can pick," I said instead.
She grinned. "Perfect."
Along the way, I told her bits and pieces of my conversation with my dad, but I didn't tell her he'd suggested I follow Navi. That would only cause her more worry. The point of all this was to make her worry stop.
