by AJ Matthews
They circled the base of the tower until they found a small wooden door, which Oliver simply pushed open.
“It’s free to go up anytime. They lock it at night but it’s opened at eight every morning. I wanted to take you up early before the tourists all come.”
She peered into the darkness, the inside was narrow, with just a spiralling stairway heading up and up.
“Um, I don’t know Oliver, I don’t like small spaces, or heights for that matter.”
“It’s exactly a hundred and thirty steps, count them as you go if you feel panicky, and I promise the view is worth the height. I’ll be right behind you going up and it’s completely safe at the top, I swear.”
Chloe took a deep breath and began to climb. There were small windows cut into the stone, lighting their way, and she found it wasn’t as tight as she’d imagined. At the top was a platform that went right the way around the tower, and the circling wall was chest height, making it impossible to fall off.
“Oh wow,” Chloe walked right the way around before stopping again at where she had first come out, with the whole town stretched in front of her. “Can I spot my house from here?”
Oliver moved up behind her. “See that red building? There, just behind it, that’s the start of your street. You can just see your roof if you count along to twelve. So do you like it? I figured if you didn’t want me to show you around town, then I could show you the whole town in one go from here.”
“It’s fantastic. I had no idea, I’ve seen the tower from various places, but didn’t know you could go up it.”
“There’s the basket ball courts, and that’s our school just there. The shopping centre, the leisure centre, the town hall, the roman ruin, Meadow Park, Grange Park, crazy golf, the cinema, and by that church to the left, that’s my house, you can even make out Bram’s old swing set in the garden.” Oliver pointed out various landmarks, but really he was just watching the pleasure on Chloe’s face.
“Are you sure it’s Bram’s swing set and not yours?” Chloe turned slightly to tease him, and before Oliver could stop and think he was kissing her.
If Chloe had thought she felt dizzy before, it was nothing compared to the way the world span the moment Oliver pressed his lips to hers. How did he do that? How did he turn her legs to jelly when she was so determined not to let him affect her? She struggled to think straight as his kiss flooded her senses. He tasted so good, like toothpaste and summer, she’d never get enough of that. If only they’d been out on the grass so she could pull him down on top of her and get even more.
Sudden awareness of her high surroundings made Chloe wrap her arms tightly around Oliver, and for a second she was distracted again by his body against hers. Then reality asserted itself and she reeled away, grabbing the wall to steady her mind against the drop behind her.
She’d let the romance of the place take over, but Oliver was no handsome prince rescuing her, he was a stroppy seventeen year old, with an ego and a selfish streak she didn’t want to be subject to.
“This is exactly why I don’t want to be alone with you!” She pushed roughly past him and went down the steps far too fast.
Oliver looked over the edge and watched Chloe appear out of the door, she stormed down the hill, unlocked her bike and sailed away on it without a backwards glance. Within seconds she had disappeared behind the buildings of the town.
He ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh of frustration.
Frustrated and officially confused, he thought. Quite clearly Chloe did feel something, she had definitely kissed him back, a fair bit in fact. The physical attraction obviously wasn’t one-sided, as she had led him to believe, so what was her problem?
As he went down slowly down the steps he wished he could take back the way he’d acted in Egypt. But he couldn’t, all he could do was try to show her he was a nice guy really. Or was he? He didn’t have the best track record for treating girls with respect. He’d never properly spoken to Amanda again after kissing her, or called Keira when he’d promised he would. Was he a horrible person? Chloe had made it clear that she hadn’t wanted to be alone with him and he’d ignored that, thinking she could be easily won over. His friends didn’t think he was horrible, but maybe a bit of a jerk sometimes. He could work on that, he could be better.
The following day he organised crazy golf for everyone, including Chloe, and stayed on his best behaviour, the day after that they all went roller skating, and then two days later for a picnic in the park and played softball. Over the next two weeks Oliver worked hard to show Chloe he respected her wishes and also trying to get to know her as a person, but it was frustrating. She seemed determined not to let him get close to her. Eventually the pattern clicked in his head. If he pushed to be with her then she went the other way, but if he hung back then she relaxed. Not much, but just enough for him to build on their potential friendship, and hopefully more one day.
She was still physically affectionate when they were around his friends, but emotionally she was guarded.
He wavered back and forth on whether she was worth all the effort he was making. She still irritated the heck out of him by refusing to see him in a new light, but making her happy made him happy. If that wasn’t something worthy and worthwhile then what was?
Chloe knew she was running scared. She wondered if she had got Oliver all wrong. Egypt had been a whole year ago and it made sense that he’d surely grown up a bit since then… But she was having trouble trusting him. Or perhaps trusting her own judgement. Was that her issue rather than him? Her last boyfriend hadn’t been nice. He’d been extremely pretty, but totally self-centred. She was okay with that, but the way he’d turned on her when they broke up had been devastating. She still didn’t know why he’d behaved that way. He’d been the one to break up with her after all, so why the meanness afterwards? He’d spread all kinds of lies about her, publicly belittled her, and temporarily destroyed her self-esteem. How could she have let one pathetic boy do that? But it was only when she saw him do the exact same thing to his next girlfriend that she’d realised she was better than him.
Oliver’s behaviour had been far too similar for her peace of mind. He’d spread lies about her, although he didn’t know she’d ever be there to hear them, and he’d been nice to her for a day in Egypt and then turned cold again. And he was another one who was far too good-looking, too self-assured, too self-obsessed. Or he had been anyway, but recently he’d been putting her feelings ahead of his own more and more. He’d respected her space, backed off when she got antsy, and yet still been there for her, making her feel wanted as a part of his group.
No one had really liked Bry, her old boyfriend. But Oliver’s friends clearly adored him, which was a very good sign. They were a genuinely nice group, and they’d known him a lot longer than she had.
She guessed the real test would come when they broke up. Would he continue to be nice? Would his friends continue to want her? Maybe it was time to find out.
“Can I take you wanting to be with me on your own as a good sign?” Oliver asked as they strolled along the bank of a canal at the edge of town.
“Um, no, not really.” Chloe felt slightly sick at the conversation they were about to have, not knowing how he was going to react.
“Oh. Have you had enough?” Oliver pulled at the tall waving grass brushing against his side.
“Yeah, do you mind?”
“No, you’ve done way more than I could have expected. You didn’t have to do any of it, especially as I know I’m not your favourite person. But I was dumb to lie in the first place and you were totally cool to go along with it.”
“Thank you.” Chloe exhaled with relief.
“Both Jaden and Trey fancy you – will you date one of them next?” Oliver tried to keep the depression out of his voice.
Chloe laughed. “I really don’t see how I can. Not now they think I’m ‘experienced’; they’d have expectations I don’t want to live up to. So, no, it’s not likely.”
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“Good.” Oliver grinned. “There is another solution of course. You could date me instead, for real… Then there’d be no expectations on you at all. I’ve already worked out that you’d run a mile if I got pushy. We could start from scratch…”
Chloe flopped down on a sunny patch of grass and patted the area next to her, indicating he should join her.
She stared up at the sky, as she had done what seemed like ages ago, and thought about Oliver.
Did she want him? Oh yes, no doubt about that in the physical sense. Right now she could happily tear that check shirt off his hot bod. Their kisses had shown her quite clearly that she was still horribly attracted to him. But it wasn’t that. She knew she was holding back any real feelings for him because she was scared.
“The thing is, Oliver, I just don’t trust you. I’m sorry.”
She felt Oliver flop onto his back beside her.
“Okay, that’s fair. Let’s start with that. I did lie. But what I said to the guys about you is what we call locker room talk, and we all do it. The only time we don’t make up wild stories about getting lucky is when we really care for the girl. I didn’t know you when I said that stuff, but since you moved here, I haven’t said a single thing. Jaden’s always pressing me for details about what we do, but I refuse to answer.”
“But you still lied. How do I know you’re honest with me?”
“You want honesty? Fine, but remember you asked for it. I tried to pull Lori Tellest when we were supposedly together, I did pull Amanda Decosta, which might be awkward because you’ll be in the same class when we get to school, but she’s never told anyone so hopefully it will never come up. And I got pretty close with a girl at Christmas, the time that I told the boys I was with you.”
“How close? All the way close?” Instead of being remotely insulted, Chloe weirdly found the conversation made her want to laugh.
“Nope, you’re sitting next to a pure virgin – how’s that for honesty?”
“It’s a good start.” Chloe resisted the urge to roll over his body and kiss him.
“So how about it? And we’ll always be totally honest with each other, even if not with everyone else.”
“How are you going to treat me if I say no? Can we stay friends?” Chloe couldn’t imagine that happening, but she wanted it to.
“You don’t like me at all, do you?” Oliver shifted away from her a bit.
Chloe watched his retreat sadly. “I do, Oliver, but I guess I’ve had some bad experiences. I just sort of want the fairy tale now. Someone who does crazy goofy things because they’re so in love with me, not someone I’m making do with because we’re in on the same secret.”
Oliver rose to his feet looking moody. “Got it. And for what it’s worth I really like you, I would never have seen it as making do.”
They didn’t speak much on the way home. Oliver talked a little about school and said he’d see her there when it started next week. He also promised to let his friends know that they’d broken up but that there were no hard feelings, and then he left.
Chloe watched him walk away with a lump in her throat. Had she just thrown away something that could have been really special? They hadn’t had the best start, and it certainly wasn’t love at first sight, but Oliver was nothing like her ex. He was actually pretty cool; there was no doubt for her now about that. He’d tried to bare his soul in his own way, but he hadn’t said what she had really needed to hear. Those three stupid little words. And she couldn’t let go unless he did.
It was nearly a week later when Kat rang Chloe.
“How are you? I only just heard – I can’t believe it. I’ve been at my cousin’s all week and didn’t know. I’m so sorry about you and Oliver.”
Chloe smiled at the phone with relief. She’d been really worried when Kat hadn’t called her, and too proud to ring and see if the other girl still wanted to be her friend.
“I’m fine, Oliver and I are still friends.”
“That’s what people always say, but it’s hardly ever true. Have you actually seen Ollie? Carter says he’s been stropping around like a four-year-old since your break-up, which means he still has feelings for you, which means you can’t just be friends.”
Chloe chewed the inside of her cheek. She knew she had hurt Oliver’s feelings by turning him down, but was it more than that? She kind of hoped it was. Then changed her mind and hoped it wasn’t.
“It’ll take time, but we’ll get the friendship thing sussed, I’m sure of it.”
“Well, school starts on Monday – are you on for a last-minute shopping trip to stock up on supplies? I really need a new bag and I'd love the company. And you can tell me all about Oliver, and I’ll tell you all about my reunion with Carter last night.” Kat giggled, clearly dying to share. Then her voice changed to contrite. “Unless you’d rather I steer clear of the subject right now?”
“I’m all ears, count me in,” Chloe reassured her.
Five bag shops later and Chloe was really starting to flag. Kat seemed to have unending energy, but eventually she selected a new school satchel and then some new earrings, and then a new pencil case. Finally she insisted on taking Chloe to a pizza place and treating her to lunch.
“Carter and Trey are meeting us there in a bit, do you mind?” Kat said, almost nervously.
“No, of course not. I just hope they still want to be friends with me.”
“Well, duh! We all love you Chloe.” Kat squeezed her arm affectionately and Chloe felt a huge wave of gratitude to her new friend.
“The chef is an authentic Italian stallion,” Kat whispered gleefully. “Just wait until you see him. That will get your motor running. Talking of which…”
Chloe worked her way through a bowl of olives while Kat talked non-stop about her night with Carter. She enjoyed just listening to Kat, who was bouncing off the walls with happiness at the developments in her own relationship. But it also made Chloe feel incredibly envious.
She wanted someone to feel that excited about, but the only person she could even consider right now was Oliver. Especially kissing Oliver. She really needed to stop daydreaming about the kisses. She could have had more if she’d said yes to dating… She had done the right thing though, hadn’t she?
Or not. She had never really given Oliver a chance. And it was ridiculous to expect him to declare utter devotion, when he’d been offering a fresh start. It took time to get to that place; they could have built up to it slowly. She wouldn’t have expected it from anyone else. But with Oliver she wanted it all… all in or all out.
Kat eventually ran out of steam and turned her attention on to Chloe.
“So what made you actually decide to leave him? Did you have a fight?” Kat asked.
“No, we just decided it wasn’t working out.” Chloe answered as truthfully as she could. “There’s no point in staying together for the sake of it; we’d never meet the right person if we did.”
“Do you have your eye on someone else? Have you already spotted the right person?” Kat’s eyes twinkled mischievously.
“No, definitely not.” Chloe gave her a quelling look.
“Aw, I wish you guys hadn’t broken up, you were so perfect for each other, and you made him so happy.”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe felt overwhelmed with guilt.
“Don’t be daft. I’ll help you find someone new if that’s really what you want. Ooh, I know, check out George, the boy who just walked in, he’s not a particular friend of ours, but totally cute and single.”
Chloe’s head swivelled before she could think about it. Yes, the boy was cute, but he wasn’t what she wanted.
“I’m just can’t, I’m not ready,” Chloe said apologetically to Kat.
“How about when you are?”
“I don’t think so, he’s nice-looking and all, but…”
“But he’s not Oliver?” Kat gave her a perceptive look.
“Yes.” Chloe banged her head symbolically on the table a couple of times. “But
it was just meant to be a summer thing, that became more.” She realised how true it was, even if not the way Kat thought she meant it. This summer would always be the summer of Oliver in her mind. And the memories were all good ones, right up until she ended it.
Oliver wasn’t the only one who’d been miserable all week. She’d thought of him constantly. And she was never going to like anyone else, not when she had somehow clearly fallen for Oliver. The L word trickled into her mind, but she still felt too scared to allow herself to embrace it.
“The boys are here,” Kat stood and waved excitedly, as Carter and Trey came through the door.
Carter wrapped his arms around Kat, taking his time to greet her, and Chloe looked nervously at Trey. He was one of Oliver’s best friends, which meant he had every right to cold her out. But no, he kissed her on the cheek, appearing sincerely affectionate.
“How are you dealing?” he asked, alluding to the break up.
“I’m fine. How’s Oliver?” She couldn’t help asking.
“Moody. Missing you.”
“Oh,” she looked at the floor unsure what to say.
“Don’t worry, he doesn’t know it yet but he won’t be single for long. Nevah Barnett was all ready to move in on him when you arrived and trashed her plans. She’ll make sure he’s well consoled”.
Chloe’s head jerked up, with something like jealousy flooding through her.
“Oh sorry, that was tactless of me.” Trey sounded contrite, but Chloe caught a gleam in his eye that made her think that Trey might be deliberately goading her.
She set her mouth in thin line and buried her head in the menu as Kat suggested they should order.
The conversation switched to the safe topic of bands that were playing in the nearby arena, and Chloe focussed on eating her bruchetta without spilling tomatoes all down her front.
“There’s a fifties night on at the Old Rock Café tonight, Chloe why don’t you come dancing with me?” Trey brought her attention back to him, and she choked as a basil leaf stuck in her throat.
