by Helen Brooks
Steel walked across to her. He’d known for weeks this day was his last chance to convince her they could make it. Not that he wanted to use the offer of the house as blackmail—he would have done if he’d thought it would work, but he knew Toni too well by now. But it was this knowledge that told him she cared for him. How much he didn’t know. But she cared.
Toni had risen to her feet at his approach, her eyes wary, but he didn’t touch her. He didn’t trust himself to. ‘I want you to have the house because I love you,’ he said softly. ‘I’ve never said that to another woman because it’s never been true before. I love you. Completely, utterly, for ever. I need you, I want you and I love you. I don’t want any other woman but you and I never will, but I can’t prove that to you except through time so you’ll have to take it on trust.’
She was ashen-faced. He could have been delivering a death sentence, the way she was looking at him. ‘And—and if I can’t?’
‘I can help you.’
‘Help me?’ Toni said wildly, her still façade suddenly shattering. ‘How can you help me when you’re the one person who could destroy me?’
He stared at her. As a declaration of love it left a lot to be desired, but no words ever sounded sweeter. She loved him. All the agony of the last weeks had been worth it just for this moment. ‘But I won’t.’ He reached out and pulled her into his arms and was amazed when she didn’t fight him. ‘I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you, have a dozen kids, two dozen. I love you, I love you, I love you,’ he said over and over again, wondering why he’d thought the words so impossible to say. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I should have. I’m a coward, that’s the truth of it. I thought I was showing you but I should have said.’
‘Steel, don’t. Please don’t.’
‘Marry me, Toni. Live with me. Love me. Let me love you, and the girls. Make us a family.’
‘I can’t.’ She was sobbing but she still hadn’t tried to move out of his arms. ‘I can’t, don’t you see?’
‘You can. If you love me, we can do this. Do you love me, Toni? Do you? Tell me?’
‘I do love you,’ she whispered, her voice breaking. ‘That’s what scares me. I’m so ordinary—’
‘Never say that.’ He covered her mouth in a hungry kiss, crushing her against his chest. ‘You’re beautiful, my pearl beyond price.’ In seconds they were lost to the world, straining into each other with an urgency made all the more desperate for their estrangement of the last weeks.
When Steel finally broke off the kiss it was to lift her up in his arms and sit with her on his lap on the sofa. ‘Listen to me, my love,’ he said shakily. ‘You must try to understand. I can’t stop the Barbaras of the world behaving the way they do, but they can’t touch us unless you let them. I’m yours, body, soul and spirit and I promise you this day you are enough for me until forever and beyond. I will never give you cause to doubt me, never. You are my sun, moon and stars and I want you as my wife and the mother of my children. And I will teach you to trust, believe me. Until the last shadow of doubt in yourself is gone. When you see yourself as I see you, you will have no need to fear. I want you in sickness and in health, now and in old age. I’ll push you in your Bath chair if you’ll push me in mine.’
He kissed her again, crushing her willing lips under his, deepening the kiss until finally he sighed, a long desperate sound as he muttered, ‘I’ve been going insane, quietly insane.’
‘Oh, Steel. I’ve been so unhappy,’ she cried softly. ‘I’ve wanted you so much but I’ve been so frightened.’
‘No more, my love. No more. I need you every bit as much as you need me. I can’t live without you.’
She nuzzled her face into his throat. ‘I’ve missed you so much. And I thought you didn’t want me any more.’
He pulled back a little, looking into her flushed face. ‘Do you want a big wedding?’ he asked thickly.
‘A big wedding?’ She stared at him, surprised. ‘No, no, I don’t think so. I did all that before and it was almost impersonal. But—but we’ve plenty of time before—’
‘Good, because I want to marry you soon, next week even. Would you do that? We can get the girls pretty dresses and have your parents and Annie and Jeff, Maggie too.’
‘Next week? Can you do that? There’s so much red tape.’
‘I can do it,’ he said firmly. ‘Money was made to do away with red tape. I want you, Toni. In my bed, as my wife. I want it to be right from the start. No hole-in-the-wall affair. I’ve had enough of them in the past. This is different. You’re different. We’ll come together as man and wife and not till then.’
She felt a moment’s panic. Things were happening too fast. And then she looked into Steel’s face and saw the love shining out of his eyes.
‘I want to love you, Toni. Properly. I want to spend all night showing you how much I love you, and with the best intentions in the world my control only goes so far when we’re together like this. And once that ring is on your finger you can’t change your mind,’ he added, grinning.
She drew in a steadying breath. This still terrified her, but she’d glimpsed a future in which there was no Steel and she couldn’t go through that again. She loved him. And with Steel at her side she could learn to trust herself again, to regain what had been eaten away after she’d met Richard.
‘So, the shortest engagement in living history?’ Steel asked her, only the faintest shadow in his eyes betraying the glimmer of uncertainty he was feeling as to her reaction.
Toni smiled. ‘I warn you now, the girls will want pink dresses.’
EPILOGUE
TEN YEARS HAD PASSED since the snowy February day when Steel had carried his bride over the threshold of the house in Magpie Lane. Ten years of love and laughter and happiness, along with the odd hiccup, which was only to be expected in family life.
Amelia and Daisy were now beautiful young girls on the verge of womanhood, confident and secure as only greatly beloved children could be.
Steel and Toni’s son had been born a year after the marriage, and another son had followed within eighteen months. Katie Jane had been born on their fifth wedding anniversary and managed to twist everyone in the household round her little finger from day one. Except perhaps her mother.
Toni watched her youngest daughter now as she played with her brothers in the tree house Steel had constructed at the end of the garden. Even from the patio where they were sitting enjoying the last of the afternoon sunshine, she could hear Katie ordering her long-suffering brothers about.
‘She’s dreadfully bossy.’ Toni turned to Steel beside her. ‘You all spoil her outrageously, you know.’
Steel grinned. It still had the power to make her knees weak. She wouldn’t have thought he could have grown more handsome, but family life suited him. The slightly stern edge to his good looks had mellowed and the result was more devastating than before. The two boys, Harry and John, were every bit as handsome as their father, but Katie Jane took after her. Steel declared she was beautiful.
She reached out now and took his hand, the desire that never seemed to wane however much she had of him strong. ‘I love you so much,’ she murmured.
‘And I you.’ He leant across and kissed her and her blood fizzed. ‘For ever and a day.’
She knew that was true now. She had known it for a long time. Nights spent in their big bed when he spent hours worshipping her with his hands and mouth and tongue before taking her to oblivion and back had begun the process, and his longing to be with her every minute he could, his adoration of the children—and he regarded Amelia and Daisy as his—and his pleasure in their home and life together had finally enabled her to become the woman she was meant to be.
Shortly after their marriage Steel had drastically reduced the amount of time he was at the office, employing a chief executive to run the business for him much of the time. He wanted to be a hands-on father, he’d explained to Toni, and it was important
Amelia and Daisy bonded with him. They had bonded with him so well that the twins had become proper little Daddy’s girls, but Toni hadn’t minded being ousted into second place now and again. She was just so grateful Steel genuinely loved the twins as his own and that they regarded him as their father.
Along with the children the house had been filled with pets. At present three dogs, two cats, six hamsters and a house bunny called Fraser—who ruled the roost—added to the mayhem. But every day was precious and Toni wouldn’t change a thing. Steel had even had a bungalow built in the grounds for her parents two years ago when the stairs at their terrace had become too much for her father. It meant the elderly couple could still have their independence but be part of family life when they chose to be, and both of them—but especially her mother—thought Steel was the best thing since sliced bread.
Toni agreed with them. To be able to go to sleep wrapped in Steel’s arms and wake up in the morning and have him make slow, sweet love to her was more precious than gold. She had a beautiful home filled with the sound of children’s laughter, five happy, healthy children, but most of all she had Steel. He was hers, all hers, and she knew she was the most important person in the world to him because he told her so every day.
And because he thought she was beautiful, she was beautiful, she thought now as he kissed her again. The gremlins of the past had gone. She was whole. She was loved.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
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First published in Great Britain 2011
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Helen Brooks 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-92564-5
Table of Contents
Cover
Excerpt
About the Author
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Epilogue
Copyright
