“I can tell Addison’s taking it hard,” he added.
I nodded. “She is. She probably thought the same thing I did, that after her apology, Ben would forgive her.”
“He didn’t?”
“Not that I can tell.” I sighed. “Probably didn’t help that his grandmother fell over the weekend and ended up in the emergency room.”
“She all right?”
“Yeah. The two of us met the ambulance at the hospital. I stayed until they assured us there was nothing broken. Then Ben spent all day Sunday with her.”
“She live alone?”
“Yes. The woman—God love her—is nothing if not stubborn. And at ninety-two, that makes it all the more difficult because she’s used to doing things her way.”
“He can hire someone to help her.”
“Oh, he did. Took some arguing, but she finally relented.”
“Well, I’m glad she’s all right.”
“Me, too.” I met his gaze. “I wish I could say the same for Ben.”
“Any reason he can’t forgive Addison?” Langston probed.
“She flat-out told him to leave her alone in the office unless it pertains to business. That’s a serious statement. We have no desire to force her into anything. She apologized for saying it, but he’s hesitant to cross that line again.”
“Can’t blame him there.”
“When a woman says no, it means no,” I said. “He’s seen firsthand the repercussions of men ignoring that.”
“Yeah.” Langston glanced at his desk. “I know about his mom and sister.”
It explained why Ben was always so cautious with women, so apt to ensure he had their trust and approval before he interacted with them.
“So, what do you think she’ll do?” Langston asked.
I shrugged. “While we wait for her, I think she’s waiting for us. Since any advance we make could be considered sexual harassment, there’s only one way to work this out. Wait to see if she makes a move.” I threw my hands up. “It was a no-win situation and it’s starting to piss me off. What I want to do is walk into her office, place her over my knee, and swat her ass until she can’t take anymore.”
Langston chuckled. “I feel your pain. And I’ve been in your shoes.”
But again, thinking about Addison’s reaction brought up the thought of my own transgressions and how I’d set this shit in motion.
Like I said, no-win situation all around.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my desk and my head in my hands. “The biggest issue is that I started all this shit.”
“Yeah? Finally going to accept that fact?”
I lifted my head to stare at my friend and business partner.
“What?” he asked, seemingly innocent. “Don’t act like we don’t know you run anytime shit gets heavy.”
“Fuck. It’s just…”
“Don’t make excuses,” Langston said firmly. “It won’t fix anything.”
I sat up. “You don’t think I don’t fucking know that? I do. This isn’t… I don’t like feeling as though I have no control.”
“Again,” he replied, “I know exactly what you mean.”
“I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting Addison to throw me a curve ball. One that knocked my steady world on its fucking side. I need to get back on stable ground.”
“No, you need to admit you’re human. That you make mistakes.”
I stared at Langston. “And how do you propose I do that?”
“Well, you could start by having a chat with them.”
“And if that doesn’t work?”
He smirked. “Then I think you should let them punish you.”
The notion horrified me. “What?”
“Oh, come on. Isn’t that how we forgive our submissives? They do something wrong, we punish them for it, and everything’s kosher again.”
Okay, fine. He had a point there.
“Why don’t you fess up, then let them decide on a punishment for you. That way you can call it even and move on.”
Could it really be that fucking easy?
Oh, hell, who was I kidding?
Punishment. Me?
Right. Like I’d ever give up enough control to let that happen.
*
BEN
WELL, I’D BE DAMNED.
Punishing Mr. Parker? It had never crossed my mind.
I knew I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping on the conversation taking place in Mr. Parker’s office earlier, but I couldn’t help it. I hadn’t meant to, honestly. I’d gone into the bathroom in my office, which happened to share a wall with his office, and that was when I heard him and Langston. I figured it was from the ventilation or something, but their voices had come through loud and clear.
Rather than walk away, I’d found myself listening as my Dom finally admitted this entire debacle was his fault. It made me love him more than I already did. The fact that he could admit it to anyone was a step in the right direction.
Unfortunately, even if he did come forward and admit he’d been scared, there was another factor at play here. One that neither of us had confronted. I was just as guilty as Mr. Parker was. I’d been avoiding Addison since Friday night. I wanted to accept her apology, to move forward, to get back to having her in my bed every damn night and waking up to her beautiful face every morning. She completed me in ways I’d never even known I needed, and without her, I felt the loss.
But she had been the one to pull that stunt, taking her anger out on me and changing the dynamic. It still pissed me off when I thought about it.
Fucking shit.
Why the hell couldn’t I just let it go? That would’ve made everything a whole hell of a lot easier, but there it was. I was doing what I accused Mr. Parker of doing—retreating rather than addressing the issue. It was a chickenshit move, one that I was using to protect the feelings she had so hastily thrown away with a simple outburst.
As it was, I’d been pushing her away as much as I could. With the exception of the club, that was. However, after our scene, after her apology, after me telling her that we were good, I’d hardly spoken to her. Aside from a couple of text messages, I hadn’t reached out, but in my defense, I’d been busy taking care of my grandmother.
Or was that an excuse?
I could’ve stopped by last night to talk, but I’d opted to let things run their course, to step back one more time and see what she would do. But she had apologized, so perhaps the ball was back in my court. That was the only thing I’d been anticipating, but for some reason, I was still having a hard time approaching her. What I needed was for Addison to make a move. To come to me. To pursue me. Otherwise, I felt as though I was encroaching on the rule she’d so hastily instilled. Telling me that the office was for business only had been the line in the sand. The line I refused to cross.
“Mr. Snowden?”
I glanced up from my computer screen, wondering how long she’d been standing there. I’d been lost in my own head and hadn’t even noticed her. “Yes?”
“Is there anything else you need from me before I head home for the day?” Addison asked, coming to stand in my office doorway.
I shook my head but motioned her into the room, then nodded toward the chair across from my desk. She moved closer but took her time sitting down. It was as though she was nervous to be this close to me.
“How’d the day go? I saw Luci earlier. She’s evidently stressed.”
“She is, but that’s not surprising. She’s getting married on Saturday and she has a million little details to take care of.”
“Is there anything you can do to help her?”
“I told Dale to send all calls to me for this week. Between him and me, we’re trying to answer what we can. Jordan’s pitching in as well, so I think we’ve got it covered.”
“Let me know if I can do anything to help. And I’ll talk to Landon and Langston. See if we can’t get Luci to delegate more of her workload. It needs to be done, anyway, sin
ce they’ll be gone for three weeks. You’ll have to cover her during that time.”
“I know. And I told her that. I’m sure she’s just getting jittery. But I promise, I’ll make sure she’s taken care of.” She glanced at the door. “So, if you don’t need anything else…”
I studied her for a moment, weighing my options as to how to approach a subject I knew needed to be addressed. A solid month and a half had passed since we met her and the three of us had gone headstrong into a relationship only to come to an abrupt halt. Emotions were high, mine included, but I was at a loss as to how to make this work without overstepping.
“Oh,” Addison spoke up. “I do have a question.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you tell Master Edge I could no longer work at the club?”
“I did.” In all fairness, I had done it before things went south, wanting to take some of the stress off Addison, to give us more time with her. Unfortunately, Greg hadn’t talked to her until Friday. “Does that bother you?”
She gave me that what-do-you-think look. “I’m not sure how I’ll manage paying my dues, plus my rent and utilities. But I guess when the time comes, I’ll figure it out. Or I’ll just cancel my membership.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “We’ll make sure it’s taken care of.”
Addison shook her head. “No. Thanks, but no. You and Mr. Parker have done enough for me. I can’t ask for anything more. I just want to do a good job for you. And once I’m on my feet, I’ll be able to get a place of my own.”
Ahh. So she was going to play it that way? The woman was nothing if not rebellious.
“If that’s the way you want it,” I replied.
My response obviously wasn’t what she’d expected. I should’ve realized by now that she spoke in a way to get a rise out of someone, to force a confrontation. It explained her overreaction that had blown this all out of proportion.
I could see the concern on her face. “It seems to be what everyone wants.”
Okay, it was time to be up-front with her.
“No. Actually, it’s not. We’re playing this your way, Addison. Not the other way around.”
Her eyes lingered on my face for long moments before she finally spoke. “Yeah. It’s just… Well…”
“Well what?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought we could at least find a way to be…friends.”
She didn’t want that any more than we did.
“I think there’s something wrong with Mr. Parker,” she noted. “He hardly even looks at me.”
“He has a lot on his mind,” I told her. That much was true.
She nodded as though that made sense. “And you?”
“What about me?” I cocked my head to the side, wondering what she was going to say.
“I don’t know. Since the night at the club, it feels like you’ve been ghosting me.”
“Ghosting?”
She shrugged. “Yeah. You know. Blowing me off. Pretending I don’t exist.” Her eyes dropped. “I apologized, but it’s obvious you don’t accept it. And there really isn’t much more that I can do. I’m not going to follow you around like a dog just to get your attention. You clearly have better things to do than spend time with me.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, I noticed her cringe. “I…uh…I probably shouldn’t have said all that.”
“No. It’s good. We need to air this shit out once and for all.” I leaned back in my chair. “And for the record, I spent the weekend with my grandmother. She fell on Saturday, ended up in the emergency room.”
“Oh, my God.” Addison looked horrified. “Is she all right?”
“She’s fine. Nothing’s broken. But she’s stubborn, so I had to spend the rest of the weekend over there.”
Her eyes appeared glassy. “I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother, but if you had told me, I could’ve helped you.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I would’ve wanted to be there. With you.”
She swallowed repeatedly and I sensed she was fighting tears.
“I thought we had…” Her eyes dropped to her lap. “I thought we were trying to move past this.”
Leaning back, I steepled my hands and rested them on my stomach. “All right. Let’s cut the bullshit, shall we? I need you to be honest with me, Addison.”
Her eyes shot to my face. “Okay.”
“What exactly is it that you want from Mr. Parker and me?” She didn’t say anything, so I continued. “You were quite adamant that you wanted nothing from me here in the office unless it pertained to business. It’s been more than a week since we had that conversation. What is it you’re looking for now? Because try as I might, I can’t read your mind.”
She didn’t look me in the eye when she spoke. “I don’t know what I want.”
“Well, that doesn’t help the situation, now does it?” The snap in my voice was intended. It was obvious she wanted something, but she wasn’t capable of asking for it directly.
“No, it doesn’t,” she confirmed.
I nodded, then leaned forward. If she wasn’t going to help me, I couldn’t help her.
“That’s all for now,” I told her and turned my attention back to my computer.
Very slowly, Addison got to her feet. I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. I wasn’t going to acknowledge her. I needed her to figure out what she wanted. Clearly, we weren’t giving it to her, but until she admitted it, until she asked for it, I wouldn’t do anything differently.
She was almost at my doorway when she spun around.
“You know what I want?”
Being that she had questioned me, I turned my attention to her. “No, precious. I don’t. Enlighten me.”
“I…I…” Her shoulders bowed in. “Actually, never mind. It doesn’t even matter.”
“Don’t. Move,” I barked when she spun around to make her exit.
Rarely did I raise my voice. I could generally get a command off without having to, but this woman was testing my self-control.
Addison froze instantly and I could see the tension ease out of her shoulders. This was what she wanted. The girl wanted us to take the reins, to make the decisions for her.
“Turn around.”
She did.
“I’m done with tiptoeing around everyone. Tell me what you want, Addison.” I was no longer making requests. She’d pushed me as far as she could and it was time I truly showed her that what she wanted was right in front of her. She merely had to ask for it.
“I want to please you,” she said softly.
I purposely misunderstood. “You do please me. You’re doing a fine job. Luci brags about you all the time.”
“No.” Her eyes locked on mine. “Not just here in the office. But…yes, here, too. Just not work related.”
I waited. I was not going to prompt her, which I believed was what she was hoping for.
“I thought the three of us shared something. I thought it was more than just sex. But then it got complicated and Mr. Parker started acting weird.” She sounded disappointed. “I had no idea what was going on or what I’d done to pit the two of you against each other.”
“You didn’t,” I denied.
“That’s crap and you know it,” she snapped back at me. “That night at my apartment. In the shower. I knew Mr. Parker was there. I knew that you were dominating me because you wanted to defy him. That wasn’t fair. He did something to upset you, but I was put in the middle of it.”
Son of a bitch. She was right and I couldn’t deny it.
“So, why didn’t you confront me?” I asked.
Her eyebrows shot downward. “Me? Why didn’t you confront him? Yes. I’m at fault for what I did, but I did it because I wanted the two of you to stop playing games.”
“It worked.”
“I’m well aware of that. And I fucked up, all right? I overstepped and now I find myself on the outside looking in. I wish like hell I could take it all back. I would go back to being whatever
you wanted me to be, just as long as I could have the two of you.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and again, she looked horrified.
“I didn’t intentionally put you in the middle,” I told her, my voice lowering. “But you’re right. I did. However, when you have something on your mind, you have to speak up. Like I said, I can’t read your mind.”
She stared at me blankly and I could tell she was emotionally retreating, something she was probably used to getting away with. I already had one of those people in my life; I damn sure didn’t need another.
“Mr. Parker and I have learned to work through our differences,” I explained. “We’ve been together for years. It takes time to build that sort of trust,” I told her. “But you’re the one who changed the dynamic. And because of that stipulation, we have to take you seriously. We have every intention of abiding by your rules. Especially here in the office. Which means I can’t do anything about it until you decide if you want something more.”
“I do!” she exclaimed.
“You do what?”
“I want something more.”
Now we were getting somewhere. “Then tell me what you want.”
She didn’t say a word and I watched as she moved closer to my desk.
It was in that moment that I knew this thing between us was about to change again.
And I was fucking ready and waiting.
Forty-Three
ADDISON
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what had come over me, but I was tired of pretending that I didn’t want them with my whole heart.
This was what I wanted.
I wanted Ben to confront me, to give me the opportunity to explain in the simplest form exactly what I needed.
Perhaps I was biting off more than I could chew or, as I was prone to do, getting ahead of myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop. He was right, I had told him that day that whatever he had in mind better pertain to business, or I wanted no part of it. I was pissed at the time. I’d said shit I didn’t mean. It bothered me that they continued to hold it over my head.
I thought we’d gotten past it. Clearly, I was wrong. But more than anything, someone had to put a stop to this. If they weren’t willing to acknowledge we were all at fault in some way, then I was going to do it. I wanted to move forward. To forget that day, to pretend it never happened.
Their Rebellious Submissive (Office Intrigue Book 3) Page 37
