by Aisha Brooks
“At first glance you appear mysterious, Amy,” Cole said taking a step-closer to her, “but I see it now.”
“See what?” Amy swallowed hard.
“A fire that burns so bright behind the walls you've built,” Cole said and brushed his lips against hers. “Some men might walk away from tonight thinking you weren't interested, but I know better. You have a good poker face, Amy, but your eyes give you away. Every time you were struggling to find the noncommittal impersonal answer, your eyes gave you away. I'm a patient man. It's July and I've been waiting since Christmas for this date and when you're ready, I'll be here.”
Amy opened her mouth to say something or anything that would make her feel confident and in control again. She had to say something that would chase away the chills she felt when his words brushed against her as if they were making tiny nicks in the armor she had so carefully put together. Before she could speak, Cole pressed his lips against hers, but this time it wasn't merely a teasing peck. His mouth claimed hers and his warmth spread throughout her body.
“Have a good night, Amy,” he said when the kiss broke. “I'll be in touch soon.”
Amy watched as he walked away unsure of how she felt about the situation. Cole was right though. She had spent the evening trying to decide how much of herself was too much to share and she had a feeling that Cole wouldn't settle for any less than every bit of her.
Chapter 2: The Secrets That Keep Me From You
After her date, Amy got worried that she would have trouble falling asleep. Not that she was floating away peacefully on a cloud most nights since Chad had left her at the altar, but she thought that night would be much worse.
She did lay awake for awhile thinking about how Cole had smiled at her and how he waited patiently when her answers were slow coming. She tried hard and failed to think about anything except for the way his lips felt against her. More than she thought about how safe and sexy she felt when Cole had pulled her into his arms and locked his gaze to hers in the seconds before their lips met.
Amy was no stranger to dating or to men, but couldn't recall a time another man had made her feel that way. She dozed off wondering how much she was going to regret not talking to Cole again. Being around him felt wonderful, but she had learned the hard way that the better something feels the more it hurts when you lose it.
Amy startled awake several hours later. The room was dark except for the red numbers of her digital clock glaring at her. It was only three in the morning. Her heart thumped against her rib cage and she tried hard to remember what her dream had been about.
“Chad!” she said and slapped her pillow hard.
Swinging her legs off the bed, Amy stood up and went to her office. It was better to work than dwell on her nightmares of being left at the office. It was her own personal joke that she should write the jerk a very long thank you letter for breaking her heart. Since that fateful day, she had written more than she ever did before.
The sun rose before Amy next looked up from her computer screen. She had finished another two chapters on her nearly complete manuscript. Now that the sun was up, her self imposed rule of no coffee after dark no longer applied. She padded into the kitchen and started the pot. The message light on her cellphone was blinking red on the table.
“Should have known,” Amy laughed aloud. “Debbie. Always Debbie.”
“How did it go?”
“Did you fall in love?”
“Are you not answering, because you're busy trying to make an auntie out of me?”
“I had a really great time last night. Want to grab a coffee?”
Amy read the last message twice. It definitely wasn't from Debbie. She checked the time on the message. Only twenty minutes had elapsed since it was received.
“Cole,” she whispered and their date from the previous night came back in flashes of awkwardness and warmth. “Don't make me regret this.”
She text him back a quick yes and the address of her favorite coffee house around the corner. It was quiet and sometimes when she was stuck on a chapter, she'd take her laptop there to write. She turned the coffee pot on and headed for the shower.
Half an hour later, she was a block away from the coffee house. She slowed down and checked her hair in a shop window. The streets were still empty and the morning rush to Saturday jobs hadn't began yet.
“Hey there!” Cole called when she turned the corner.
This morning Cole dressed down. He was clad in khakis and a blue button down shirt. Amy thought the color brought attention to just how blue his eyes were and the shorter sleeves showed his strong arms. She had to force herself not to think about the delightful feeling of having them around her.
“Good morning,” she smiled trying not to betray that she had spent half the night writing.
She startled for a second when he greeted her with a warm good morning hug before returning the embrace. A woman across the street shot her a look of envy as she got out of her car. Amy swallowed a laugh as they headed into the coffee shop.
Inside, she ordered her regular a large mocha on ice and Cole ordered his coffee black.
“Hard night?” she teased.
“No, why?”
“Black coffee?”
“All of that other crap just waters down the flavor and with good coffee you don't need that,” he laughed.
“It enhances the flavor,” she laughed.
“So what about you? Up all night writing?”
“No, only half the night,” she shrugged. “I don't control when inspiration strikes.”
“So what was so inspiring last night?” he arched a brow.
“Don't flatter yourself,” Amy playfully rolled her eyes. “I wasn't writing an interrogation scene.”
“What were you writing?”
“The main conflict of the book.”
“Do you work for the CIA or something? Because you're really good at being discreet.”
“Sorry,” she laughed as the nervous feeling crept over her again.
“I talked to Debra last night. She called me when you didn't text her back.”
“Sorry,” Amy muttered wishing that Debbie would learn to mind her own business.
“It's not your fault. She was just worried that things had went less than perfect.”
“Did you tell her if they had it would have been her fault?”
“No, I told her that if she wanted the dirt she'd have to get it from you. I wasn't going to have you giving me the cold shoulder so her gossip bone could be satisfied.”
“Good man,” she laughed and they mock clicked their coffee mugs together.
“Well, this,” Cole motioned to the space between them “is about us.”
The last word lingered in Amy's mind. All too often becoming part of an 'us' had left her feeling like a very lonely “I” in the end.
“So what's the plan for today?” Cole asked. “If you're not too busy with your book's climax, I thought we could head out on the beach for awhile.”
“Sorry, but my manuscripts and I do not have those sort of relationships.”
“You don't talk about them at all so I figured it was a private love affair,” Cole teased. “But how about it?”
“Okay, but no limo.”
“No, limo,” Cole nodded in agreement. “I think my driver would just feel like a third wheel anyway.”
An hour later, Amy had packed a day bag complete with her newest bikini and flip-flop and some other essentials. She also brought along an outfit just in case she lost the rest of her wits and spent the night, because Amy was quickly learning that Cole had a way of improvising last minute plans and getting her to agree to them. She was giving herself on last look over when the door bell rang.
“You're fifteen minutes early, Cole,” she laughed opening the door.
“Cole?” Chad blinked at her.
Her heart skipped a beat and she swallowed hard backing away from the door.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she
demanded.
“Amy, we need to talk. I'm know you don't want to see me and I don't blame you, but we really need to talk.”
“You can't just leave me at the altar and show up a year later wanting to talk!”
“I'm sorry, Amy. Can I come in, please?” Chad said giving her the big brown puppy dog eyes that he had so often used during their relationship to get his way. Amy's stomach twisted in knots as memories came flooding back.
“No, I'm about to leave.”
“Can't it wait? I'm sure Debbie won't mind if you're late. I need to talk to you. I need to explain what happened. I was scared. We jumped in too quickly and I got scared and I ran.”
“Off with another woman!” Amy shouted throwing her hands in the air. “Just go away.”
Hot tears stung her eyes as she moved to shut the door. Chad put his shoulder up stopping it from closing all the way.
“Come on, baby, I still love you!” he shouted.
Several of her neighbors had came out to watch the scene unfold between them.
“Go away!”
“Amy, baby!”
“I'm not your damn baby anymore, Chad!”
Chad gave a hard shove to the door and Amy stumbled backwards. She landed on her butt and looked up at Chad in shock. Before she could speak Cole appeared behind Chad. He easily pushed past the angry man and into the apartment.
“Are you alright?” he said looking from him then back to her.
“Yeah,” she nodded as he pulled her gently back to her feet.
“Your guest seems rather rude,” he said turning to face the other man.
“This is why you won't talk to me?” Chad shouted. “You won't talk to me, because you're hooking up with some white boy? What the hell are you thinking, Amy? A white boy?”
“I'm thinking that you should leave.”
“Man, whatever, you're messed up in the head,” Chad said. “Dating some white boy.”
Amy didn't close the door until Chad got onto the elevator.
“Sorry about that,” Amy sighed. “He's always been a bit...”
“Of an asshole?”
“I was going to say dramatic, but that too,” she nodded.
“Who was that guy anyway.”
“No one important.”
“An ex then,” Chad arched a brow.
“Yes, but we should get going.”
“I wasn't going to ask anything else about him. I know you don't like questions.”
“There's not much to tell,” she said as they got into the car. “There really isn't. You figured him out pretty quickly. Chad's just an asshole.”
Amy fastened her seat belt and took a deep breath as Cole started the car. She leaned her head against the window trying and failing to hide the fact she was upset. Cole gave her a soft smile and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips as he done the night before and kissed it gently.
“You don't have to talk about it, but if he comes back around I'm going to kick his ass on principle. I don't like being referred to as a boy by someone who's vocabulary is limited to phrases like 'whatever.”
“That bothered you more than the white part?” she laughed not pulling her hand away from him.
“I am white,” he shrugged, “but if he shows up again he's going to find out that this 'white boy' will kick his ass.”
Amy laughed and Cole kissed her hand again before letting it go. As their fingers slipped apart, she studied the contrast between her dark ebony skin and Cole's lighter skin. Something about it struck her as beautiful.
“I don't think he'll be back. Chad's never reacted well to his pride taking a beating. He doesn't know any of my new neighbors so he can tell his friends whatever he wants.”
The beginning of the drive was silent, but not the uncomfortable silence that had plagued them the night before. This time it was a more comfortable silence. It was hard for Amy to concentrate on being angry at Chad when she could feel Cole stealing glances at her from the corner of his eye.
“I want to ask you a question.”
“Okay,” Amy nodded.
“Is that going to be a problem with your family or anything? I mean it didn't even cross my mind until Chad called me that.”
“Would that make you run?” Amy asked tilting her head.
“Nothing's going to make me run, Amy. I'd just like to know ahead of time.”
“No,” she shook her head. “I've never dated a white guy before, but it's not like my parents are racist or anything. Are yours?”
For a split second, Cole looked taken aback by her question.
“Don't get me that look,” she said pointedly. “It's more likely coming from your side and we both know it.”
“My parents aren't racist,” Cole sighed. “No one in my family is. In fact, I think the only racist I've ever met in person is your ex.”
“I doubt that,” Amy laughed.
“I don't hang out with bigots.”
“Neither do I.” After a moment she added “And Chad doesn't count.”
“I wasn't going to count him since you broke up with him.”
Amy smiled. It was sweet of Cole to think she had broken up with the jackass, but sooner or later the truth was going to come out.
“I didn't break up with him,” Amy said before she lost the courage to do so.
“Now I know he's a dumb ass,” Cole said shifting gears as they pulled onto the highway. “You don't leave a good woman and expect that she's going to let you come crawling back into her life.”
“He left me at the altar.”
“Fuck,” Cole muttered under his breath and pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road.
“Is everything okay?” Amy asked confused.
“This isn't a conversation we should have in a moving car,” he grinned at her and took her hand. He entwined his fingers through hers and gave a reassuring squeeze.
“I think it's better if you drive,” she smiled looking down at her lap.
“It's not something you should be embarrassed about. He's the jackass that stood you up at the altar.”
“I shouldn't have said anything,” she said tugging her hand away gently. “Can we just forget about this?”
“No,” Cole shook his head. “I'm never going to be able to forget that look in your eyes when you said he stood you up at the altar. I'm never going to be able to get how afraid you are of opening up. He left you because he's a dumb ass.”
“You don't know me,” she said blinking back tears that threatened to fall. “Cole, for all you know I'm a horrible girlfriend. I could be a horrible person.”
“But you're not, Amy!” Cole said taking her hand again. “You're not. You've been hurt. You've had you're heart broken, but that doesn't make you a horrible person. It just makes you human. There's always some dumb ass that breaks everyone's heart. It's a risk we all take by not being hermits and hiding away in our houses and only speaking to our plants.”
Amy laughed despite the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
“I know how it is. I've been there. I've done that. Right out of school, I married my high school sweetheart Samantha. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple and that we were going to ride off into the sunset and have the perfect life. As you can see, that didn't happen. No, I got busy with work and Samantha got busy with the man I thought was my best friend. That was four years ago. They're married now with a toddler and another baby on the way. Sure, maybe I paid a little too much attention to work or maybe I just felt how unhappy Samantha was and didn't want to be around it. I'll never know for sure. No one will. And this,” Cole motioned to the space between them and then held up his their gripped hands, “this could end horrible. It could go down in flames. Maybe we're not right one another. Maybe I have some bad habit that would make you want to smother me with a pillow before the honeymoon was ever over. I don't know. You don't know. That's the thing about life. We never know! We don't know, but that doesn't mean we don't try anyway. Who knows maybe this is meant t
o be. Maybe there was a reason for Samantha cheating and Chad leaving you at the altar. Heck, maybe this is the reason the universe made Debra such a crappy liar. This could be it. Yeah, you're scared. Hell, the way I felt the first time I saw you scared me witless, but that's how I knew I had to go for it. It's often the things that scare us the most that are worth having. I want to try this. I want to try us.”
