by Dianne Drake
“You crave Evangeline’s jerk chicken the way you should be craving a woman,” Evangeline said, her jolly chuckle rolling out over the entire kitchen. Jerk chicken was a typically spicy Jamaican recipe, and a favorite of the locals as well as tourists. “The way you should be cravin’ that one,” she said, pointing to Sarah.
Sarah blushed, wondering if Evangeline had witnessed what had almost gone on in her back hall.
“You know you and your jerk chicken are the only things I’ve been craving tonight,” Michael said, casting a sideways glance at Sarah. “And some good reggae music.”
“You get the chicken and you get the good music, but you know you don’t get Evangeline. I like my men…older. With lots of money. You’re good-lookin’, Doc, but I’ve got other needs you can’t take care of.” She cast a sly wink at Sarah. “But I’m guessin’ what her needs are tonight, and it’s not chicken and reggae.”
Evangeline sauntered away, still laughing, while Sarah was coming to the decision to catch a cab and return to the ship. But Michael didn’t give her an opportunity to slip back out the way they’d come in. As if he’d guessed what she might be planning, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her the rest of the way through the kitchen into a dim room full of people, all sitting at tables or at the bar on the other side of the room—a bar backlit in blue. The place was packed, there was barely room to squeeze through as a saxophone wailed something so rhythmic on stage that most of the people in the club were clapping and stomping along to the music.
“How are we going to find a place to sit?” she shouted over the music. Deep down, she really hoped they wouldn’t find a seat so they could leave. Or they’d find only one seat, for Michael, so she could leave by herself. As it turned out, Michael had a cozy little booth reserved for him, back in a secluded corner, of course. They’d no sooner squeezed into it when Evangeline appeared at the table with two tall glasses—one with a fruit juice concoction she placed in front of Michael and one with something yellow for her.
Evangeline gave her a toothy grin as she passed the glass over. “From what I saw of you in the kitchen, I think you’ll be needing this. It’s Evangeline’s specialty.” She actually tweaked Sarah’s cheek before she walked away.
“That means she likes you,” Michael said. Or, actually, practically shouted as he was sitting on the other side of the booth. “I remember the first time she tweaked my cheek…” The rest of what he said washed away in the noise and, to be honest, Sarah didn’t really care. She was so uncomfortable being there now, after what had almost happened, that she was happy to turn her attention to Evangeline’s drink and lose herself in it. What had she been thinking, giving in that way? Never mind that it was in a public place!
Well, it wouldn’t happen again. And Michael’s suggestions to take two taxis…that’s exactly what she intended to do. Take her own taxi back to the ship as soon as she finished Evangeline’s rather tasty rum extravaganza.
OK, so he’d screwed up. The moment, and the opportunity, got the best of him, but it wasn’t like anything had really happened between them. To look at Sarah, though, someone might have made assumptions about all kinds of things having gone on in Evangeline’s back hall. Sarah looked guilty, and she wore that guilt even now, twenty minutes later. But, damn it, it just wasn’t that big a deal. They’d flirted a little. Well, maybe flirt wasn’t accurate. But they’d stopped. That’s all that counted.
Sarah was sitting across the table from him, and she hadn’t looked up from her drink for the last ten minutes. Hadn’t really drunk any of it either. So what the hell was he supposed to do now? This was supposed to be a nice evening out for her, something to relax her and help take her mind off what always seemed to be bothering her, but it wasn’t working.
“Want some chicken?” he asked, shoving the plate across the table to her.
She looked up, giving him a blank stare.
“The chicken. You should try some,” he said again, only this time louder, trying to cut through the noise all around them.
Judging from her expression, she still didn’t hear him, though. Or didn’t want to. Normally the noise level in there was a blessing. He always slipped in the back door like he’d done tonight, come to this booth and eaten his chicken. Alone. There was something to be said for being alone in a crowd. Of course, most of the time Evangeline never let him be entirely alone, even though tonight she was staying away. Deliberately, he guessed. And for some reason, even with Sarah sitting across from him, he’d never felt so alone here as he did right now. “The chicken,” he shouted, then finally gave up and scooted around to the other side of the circular booth. Surprisingly, she didn’t push herself away from him, but she did cringe when his arm brushed against hers. “Look,” he said, bending toward her, yet taking particular caution not to touch her. “I’m sorry about what happened.”
It was an opening, and he waited for her to respond, but all she did was give him a stiff nod. Well, so much for trying to approach her. One little lapse in good sense had ruined her evening which, in turn, was ruining his as he’d truly thought she might enjoy this. So maybe they should simply return to the ship and promise to avoid each other for the rest of the cruise. Or perhaps he should send her back in a cab, alone, while he stayed and enjoyed the routine he’d established over the months—jerk chicken, reggae and a pleasant way to relax.
“Do you want to go back to the ship?” he asked. “Since that little faux pas in the hall is bound to ruin at least one of our evenings, maybe you’d be more comfortable having yours ruined somewhere else.” OK, so that was harsh but, damn it, he was trying to make up for his mistake and she wasn’t giving him an inch. So why keep trying? “How about I just call you a cab, and we’ll pretend it never happened?”
“Pretend it never happened?” she sputtered, finally turning sideways to look at him. “How can you pretend something like that never happened?”
The way the dim light overhead caught the glint of her hair, the angry spark of what had to be the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen… Honestly, he wasn’t the least bit sorry about what had almost happened. If the truth be told, he’d been aroused to the point that he’d have probably pushed her into the little broom closet just inside Evangeline’s back door and broken a promise he’d made himself nearly two years ago. “You can quit dwelling on it, then enjoy the food and the music, that’s how.”
“It’s that simple for you?”
“Look, Sarah, what happened…happened. Apparently, we’ve got some pretty good chemistry going between us, and we let it get away from us for a couple of minutes. It happens. We’re humans. Hormones flow. I’ve apologized, and I’ll apologize again, but if you want to know my true feelings, I’m not really all that sorry. I enjoyed it and if the situation presented itself again, I’d probably do the same thing.” Against his dictates, but not so much against his will. Sarah was the first woman who’d turned his head since his self-imposed ban on women and his whole relationship avoidance, and he didn’t really object to his feelings toward her as strenuously as he should. Or wanted to. Probably because she put up enough barriers for both of them that he felt relatively safe with her. If he couldn’t resist her, which it seemed he couldn’t, at least she’d resist him. “But that’s all I can do. Say I’m sorry and give you an option…to stay here with me and enjoy the evening or leave and do whatever you want to do.”
He hoped she’d stay, but from the long pause he was pretty sure she wouldn’t.
After nearly a minute, Sarah finally spoke. “It wasn’t just you,” she said so quietly he had to lean in close to hear her. “I was ready to do something I’ve never done before, in such a public place. And I’m not like that, Michael. But for a minute I forgot who I was and where I was…”
“And that’s so bad?” he asked, for his sake as much as hers.
“I’d like to think that I have more control,” she admitted.
“Have you ever just let yourself go, Sarah? Been spontaneous about any
thing?”
“I think the way I live is spontaneous,” she said defensively. “You know, living for the moment, that kind of thing. That’s me! That’s all I do, living in the moment, going with the flow.”
“Very rigidly,” he argued. “You strike me as a woman who’d much rather make plans and live by the rules.”
“Rules are made to be broken, and plans are a trap. My only rule is that I’m not allowed to make plans. Why bother? They don’t work out. Trust me, I’ve lived that life before, and been disappointed by it. So why put myself through anything like it again?”
“Maybe you’re right. Why put yourself through it?” Broken plans only caused pain, and he’d had his share. Sarah was right. Plans were a trap, which was why he’d avoided making them himself. Once was enough. In life, in love, he didn’t make plans any more either. Not even in the short term.
Michael finally broke through the barrier between them, scooting so close to Sarah they were sitting hip to hip. “I’ve lived that life before, too. Tends to make you a bit cynical, I think.”
“Ah, the man who knows.”
“What I know is that you can plan your life down to the smallest details, live by that plan and count on it to be your beacon. As long as you’re headed toward the light you’re doing fine, things are going to work out. Then one little thing happens…” Like having a leg blown off by a landmine and watching your buddies die beside you while you’re helpless to do anything… “And it all changes. Goes straight to hell. All your plans are gone, everything you’ve hoped and dreamed for vanished, and you suddenly find yourself in a position you can’t even conceive of. Your meticulous life, the one you could picture in a panoramic view, isn’t yours any more and you’re left wondering what comes next. What the hell are you going to do now.” Something he’d been wondering from the day the doctors had released him from rehab and sent him out into the world to face whatever it was he had to face. Eighteen months between the hospital and rehab, living in an altered reality, and he’d been totally unprepared for his new reality. Even after a year of living inside his new reality, he still wasn’t prepared for it.
“You speak from experience,” she said.
Michael cracked a bitter laugh. “We all have experiences that mold us, whether or not we want them, don’t we?” Like a fiancée who had been repulsed by a less than perfect body in the man she’d supposedly to loved, one who hadn’t even pretended to be sympathetic or unaffected when she’d seen him without his prosthesis. That had been an experience that truly had molded him, and not in a good way, for future relationships. It was another one of these things that fit into the category of why bother to put himself through it? He’d already seen the results. Didn’t need to repeat them.
“Want them or plan for them. You know what they say about the best-laid plans…” She finally picked up a strip of the chicken and took a little nibble, caught off guard by the spicy heat of it. Coughing as she tried to swallow it, Michael shoved his fruit drink over to her, frowning as she took a greedy gulp. Yes, he did know about what happened to the best-laid plans. The problem was, he hadn’t planned on Sarah. She was the sexiest woman he’d ever known in his life, and if he wasn’t careful, some of his best-laid plans were in serious jeopardy of going astray.
Thinking about his current course as he picked up a strip of jerk chicken, Michael wondered if now wouldn’t be a good time to actually form a plan…a plan to not get involved. He also wondered if he was drawn to Sarah because he was more like her than he cared to admit. In her, the sadness and isolation was so easy to see, but what he saw in her…was that what other people saw when they looked at him?
Sighing, Michael tossed the chicken strip back onto the plate then leaned back in his seat, still taking care not to accidentally brush Sarah’s arm or bump her hip. Distance was best, and he was going to have to be very careful to keep his.
“I’m sorry I overreacted a while ago,” she said, just when he was about to give in to the melancholy crashing down on them. “You’re right. It’s chemistry, and I shouldn’t be such a prude about it, because under normal circumstances it’s a good thing for most people. A wonderful thing. But in my life those kinds of things never happen.”
“Because you don’t allow them?” The way he didn’t allow them any more?
“Honestly, yes. Keeping focused always seems to work best for me. There’s no need for me to be any other way because what I am, what I do, suits me.”
No, it didn’t, and he could see that very plainly. Even now, as she toyed with another piece of chicken, licking a little of the spicy-hot marinade off it first, then licking her lips and letting her tongue wander across her bottom lip, he was as aroused as he’d been in the hallway. More so, because he could see her now, see all the sexy insinuations of her movements…insinuations she didn’t even know she was making. Right at that very moment he wished he had some of her focus, because if he wasn’t careful he’d find himself in the same position he’d been in earlier in the dark hall, and even he had only so much restraint he could call on to save himself. The best-laid plans were about to fail him.
But deep down didn’t he want to fail in this one? Of course he did! He was a man, after all. And she was…well, everything he’d ever dreamed of in a woman. And, damn it, human nature did prevail, his disability and his checkered past notwithstanding. “I know you’ve got your resolve, but are you ever tempted, Sarah?” he asked, his voice much lower, much more seductive than he’d intended it to be. “Maybe you don’t ever give in, but are you tempted to? I mean, like right now. After what happened in the hallway…”
She glanced into his eyes, very seriously. “Yes, I get tempted. You could have had me in the hall, Michael.”
Well, that certainly wasn’t what he’d expected from her. Wasn’t what he’d needed either because in the next instant she was in his arms…whether he pulled her there or she’d gone voluntarily, he didn’t know, but the temptation melted away all resolve as his lips crushed hers and he tasted the slight heat of the spice still lingering on her lips. The pull was too great to resist, even though he knew he should pull back and leave well enough alone. But what he knew and what he did were two different things as his tongue forced her lips apart, only to join with a tongue that was as eager as his to probe.
As he caressed her upper lip with his tongue, moving it in slow, delicious circles, she reached up to stroke his hair, running light fingers through it at first. Then as he nipped softly at her lip, she pulled with some vigor until he tilted his head back and away from her, but only enough to allow her to kiss his neck then his jaw. Sweet mercy, he’d never felt anything like it! The way her tongue played gently up his throat, over his jaw… The plan be damned. He’d deal with its demise later.
Once she reached his mouth, she was the one to do the probing this time, to run her tongue over his lips, to delve inside and once she’d found his tongue to suck it with a potent energy like no one had ever done to him before. And if he had been aroused before this, he was now aroused to the point that he was uncomfortable, and had this not been a public place they would have been past the point of no return. But this was a public place, a fact that niggled in the back of his mind as he returned a forceful kiss to Sarah, his full, open mouth taking hers in a greed he’d never before known as both her hands snaked around his neck and pulled him tightly to her, as tight as human beings could possibly be without being inside one another.
And as the kiss should have been diminishing, she arched herself back into the booth seat, pulling him along with her, causing him to shift to a position that was nearly on top of her. His arms wrapped around her as she turned sideways into a semi-straddle and her knee came up over his thigh. Because they were in a dark, secluded booth where the only people who could see them were the ones who wanted to, he pulled Sarah up over his lap until she was fully straddling him, looking down, pressing her hands to his cheeks and lowering her mouth over his. Tongues sought tongues again, nipping, probing…harde
r, faster, the urgency growing until Michael moaned the moan of a man who couldn’t take it any more. He was at his limit, and so was Sarah as she pulled away, looked down at him with longing in her eyes like he’d never seen before, then slid off his lap.
Without a word she straightened her clothes, slipped out of the booth and left Evangeline’s.
That evening, needless to say, they returned to the ship in separate taxis.
CHAPTER SIX
ONE more day, and they’d docked again. A good many people had gone ashore for various expeditions and shopping, spending their few hours milling about, but Sarah hadn’t gotten off ship this time because there hadn’t been anything she’d really wanted to do. Neither had Michael. She’d seen him in passing once since two nights ago in Evangeline’s. He’d been strolling along the deck, pushing a patient in a wheelchair down to the cabana chairs, and he’d been so caught up in casual chat with the old man he probably hadn’t even noticed her. Or hadn’t wanted to. Whatever the case, the instant she’d seen him, she’d turned around and hurried off in another direction.
It wasn’t like she was embarrassed, though. Because, oddly, she wasn’t. What they’d done in the booth at Evangeline’s had been the culmination of what they’d started earlier in the hallway, which had been the climax of some pretty pent-up feelings. She understood. And Michael was right about it, too. They did have chemistry going on between them. What was the point of denying it? And if he thought that she couldn’t be spontaneous, well…he’d seen her at her spontaneous best that night.
Truly, it did surprise her that she’d acted that way. In the dozens of times she’d replayed that little scenario in her mind since then, she hadn’t found an excuse for what she’d done other than she’d simply wanted to. With Michael. No one else had ever stirred that little wild streak in her like he had and she’d returned to the ship a very sexually frustrated woman. In her mind she’d had herself naked with him over and over—in her cabin bed, in the shower, the dark hallway at Evangeline’s and even in the booth. In some of her fantasies they were even in their private little section on deck, behind the bar. And those kisses weren’t bound by what was proper in public either.
