The women stared at him for a few moments, then descended like a litter of puppies on a new toy. Introductions were made as they drew him forward. Jake found that when Brooke’s hand began to slip from his, he was the one holding on tight.
“It’s okay, Daddy.” She handed him Bunny. “I’m going to play in the kitchen.” He watched her follow another girl to the far side of the room.
Just like that, he was left alone. He gave another halfhearted smile. “I’m sort of new to being a dad,” he admitted. “Brooke’s been living with her mother up until a few weeks ago.” He didn’t bother to mention all that went into that statement, and the women didn’t seem to care.
They extolled the virtues of the preschool and Ms. Laura to the point Jake felt as if he’d entered some tiny kid-sized cult. As he watched Brooke interact with the other kids in the room, smiling and laughing, he realized it might be worth it.
One of the moms shared that she was also a single parent and invited him to coffee to discuss tips for making it work. Jake backed away so fast he almost tripped over a beanbag chair behind him. Thankfully, Laura Wilkes walked into the room at that moment.
Millie was nowhere in sight. He wondered where his nanny had disappeared to and why she’d left him alone with this horde of overfriendly mothers.
“Friends,” Laura said to the children scattered around the room, “let’s gather on the carpet.” The kids scampered forward as if this Ms. Laura was the Pied Piper. Talk about commanding a room. The preschool director, for all her sweetness, was definitely in charge.
He expected Brooke to find him, but she took a seat on the floor next to the girl she’d been playing with in the kitchen.
“It’s funny,” one of the mothers said quietly. “You spend so long wanting them to become more independent. Then it’s hard when they do.”
He nodded, unsure how else to answer. He hadn’t spent so long wanting anything from Brooke, but somehow he understood exactly what the woman meant.
Laura explained the daily schedule for the school, the different types of learning environments, how the classroom changed and special events for the year, including a class musical to coincide with the Halloween party. He smiled at the look of utter rapture on his daughter’s face as she listened intently to information about snack time, recess and different projects Ms. Laura had planned.
When the children and parents were released a half hour later, he wasn’t surprised that Brooke came running up to him, quickly saying, “I’m going to do school here, Daddy.”
“You like it that much?” A pang of disappointment shafted through him. He knew it was good that she felt comfortable at the school and he couldn’t blame her. But even as he constantly felt unsure of himself as a father, Brooke’s dependence on him was the only solid thing in his life right now.
“I love it,” she assured him. “Bunny does, too.” She took the stuffed animal from him and gave its scruffy head a big kiss.
Millie ducked into the classroom as Laura was walking the rest of the families out. “Pretty cool, right?” She bent and Brooke came forward to give her a big hug. “I’m proud of you, Cookie. You did great here today.”
He wished he’d thought to say that. He wished he could show affection so naturally, but that had never been a part of Jake’s makeup.
“Where were you?” He waved his hand around the room, unable to stop his irritation from spilling out. “This is your area of expertise and you left me to fend off the moms by myself.”
Millie chuckled in response. “Oh, no. Not the moms,” she said in mock horror. “I was filling out paperwork.”
Oh. So she hadn’t quite deserted him.
Laura Wilkes walked back into the room. “What did you think, Brooke?”
“Good,” she answered. “Do I get my own cubby?”
Laura nodded. “And a shelf for your art projects. You can take Bunny on a tour of the rest of the room and across the hall where we have snack time while I talk to your daddy and Millie.”
“You have a very sweet daughter,” Laura said after Brooke left the room.
“I can’t take credit for that,” Jake answered.
Laura’s smile was gentle. “Millie explained the situation to me. We’ll take good care of her while she’s at the preschool. Do you have any questions for me?”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Jake looked at Millie. “Do I have any questions?”
She shook her head. “Laura has been here over fifteen years. She has a wonderful philosophy for the children and most of what they learn is through hands-on play.”
Jake looked at her blankly.
“That’s good,” she assured him.
“We use parent volunteers in the classroom,” Laura added. “You’re welcome to sign up out in the entry. I’ll need a lot of help for the fall musical. My teaching partner also moved suddenly due to a family emergency. I’m interviewing this week and would love to have someone in place before school starts. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be relying on volunteers even more until I can fill the position.”
Jake nudged Millie, who only said, “Thanks for letting us come in today, Laura. I think this will be just what Brooke needs. We’ll plan on seeing you the Tuesday after Labor Day for the first day of school.”
She took a step toward the door, but stopped when Jake placed a hand on her arm. “You should hire Millie,” he told Laura and heard Millie hiss out a breath. “She’s a teacher.”
“Not certified,” Millie said quickly, frowning at Jake. “I haven’t finished my degree yet.”
Laura’s face brightened. “We don’t need someone certified for the teaching-assistant position. If you’re interested, I’d love to talk to you about it.”
Millie hesitated. “I’m not sure that I’d have the time with what Jake and Brooke need.”
“We’ll make it work.” Jake shrugged at the glare Millie shot him.
“Okay...well...”
“Think about it,” Laura told Millie. “Give me a call if you want to know more about the job. I have two candidates right now, but I’m not sure either of them is a good fit.”
Millie nodded, but her mouth was grim. Jake didn’t understand. He thought she’d be thrilled to have an opportunity to teach again. Hadn’t Olivia told him how much her sister enjoyed working with kids?
They said goodbye and walked to the car.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Millie said under her breath as Brooke climbed into her car seat.
“Do what?” Jake was genuinely confused. “Try to help you?”
“I’m not the one who needs help.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “My life is fine. I manage fine. I’ll decide what kind of work I do and don’t want. If you’re looking to get rid of me, just say it, Jake.”
He held up his hands. “I’m not trying to get rid of you, Millie. What would make you think—”
She shook her head. “Forget it.” She closed her eyes, took a breath and opened them again, a sunny smile spreading across her face. “This was a huge success. The preschool is perfect for Brooke. The moms are going to love you. Everything’s just great.” She leaned into the car. “Who wants to celebrate at the bakery?”
“Me,” Brooke shouted, raising both hands above her head.
“Let’s go, then.” After strapping Brooke’s car seat, she shut the door and moved toward the driver’s side.
Jake caught her arm. “What just happened there?”
“Nothing,” she answered. But the smile was forced and didn’t meet her eyes. Then her gaze softened. “Nothing, Jake. Please let it go.”
After a moment, he nodded. “Okay. Let’s get a cookie.”
She exhaled, obviously relieved.
He would let it go for now, he thought as he got into the Explorer. But not for good
. As sunny and bright as Millie appeared, there were shadows in her, a darkness she tried—but couldn’t quite manage—to hide. Jake planned to find out what put it there.
Chapter Eight
Jake climbed the steps to his brother’s house two days later, after Logan had picked him up from his latest visit to physical therapy.
“You’re getting around better,” Logan commented as he followed Jake up the stairs.
“Still worried you’re going to have to break my fall when I lose my balance?”
“Not one bit.”
Jake purposely fumbled then grinned as Logan scrambled to right him.
Jake straightened. “Liar.”
Logan swore under his breath. “Next time, I’m going to let you go down.”
Olivia opened the door as they came to the top. “He’s all bark, no bite,” she said as she held open the door, then followed him into the kitchen.
“Excuse me?” Logan put an arm around his wife’s waist and pulled her close. “Have you already forgotten last night?”
“Get a room,” Jake muttered in a good-natured tone. He was happy for his brother. Logan had taken the death of their sister the hardest. Jake had tried to reach out years after Beth’s death when Logan had seemed to be spiraling out of control. He’d wanted—albeit belatedly—to help his youngest brother come to terms with his grief, as if Jake was such an expert on that. But Logan hadn’t wanted the interference of an older brother who’d left him and the rest of the family behind years ago. Jake had always wondered if Logan would make it to the other side of his pain in one piece and was grateful he seemed so content with his life since he’d returned to Crimson.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Olivia asked, playfully pushing Logan away. “I spoke with Millie earlier. She was taking Brooke to the children’s museum over in Aspen this afternoon since you had plans with Logan.”
He could hear the question in her voice. Jake had asked Logan to pick him up from the hospital, but actually wanted time to talk to Olivia.
“I want to know what’s going on with your sister,” he said, deciding it was best to cut straight to the point.
Olivia’s delicate features took on a look of both confusion and concern. “Is something wrong with Millie? Do you have a problem with her? Is she not taking care of Brooke?” Her tone turned indignant. “Because I can tell she loves that little girl already. I’ve seen them together. I met them at the park yesterday and—”
“Sweetie, let him finish his thought.” Logan smoothed the hair away from her face in an unconscious gesture.
Jake shook his head. “I don’t have a problem with Millie.”
The tension sagged out of Olivia’s shoulders. “Sorry. It’s weird. Millie and I are only now getting to know each other, but I feel very protective of her. She’s my baby sister, you know?”
Jake’s eyes flicked to Logan. “Yes, I know.”
“Have a seat, Jake.” Logan pulled out one of the high stools from the kitchen island.
“I’m worried about her,” Jake said as he lowered himself into it. “There are things she’s not telling me. Nothing to do with Brooke. She’s fabulous with Brooke—different than I could ever be. Yet it works for all of us.”
“She’s got a gift with children.”
“Which is my point. We were at the local preschool a few days ago. The director needs someone to help a few hours a day. It would be perfect for Millie.”
“Early childhood education is her major.”
“Right. But she wasn’t interested. In fact, when I mentioned her background she all but bit off my head.” He leaned forward. “Do you know the details of why she left school?”
Olivia shook her head. “Something happened at her student teaching assignment. I just figured Millie got bored of the day-to-day routine. She talks a lot about wanting her freedom and not making big commitments. It has to do with how she was raised, I think. Her mother was the ultimate free spirit.” She gave a wry smile. “It’s what drew my dad to her.”
“Millie isn’t her mother.” Jake felt his temper flare.
“I know,” Olivia answered quickly.
“For all her claims of being so footloose, she loves order and a schedule—at least on her own terms. She’s got Brooke on a regular sleeping routine, limits her screen time, counts the fruit and vegetable servings she has each day. Hell, she has all of the toys in the house put away in their own special places each night. She can be fun and spontaneous, but she’s also the most organized person I’ve ever met.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense that she would leave school and nothing explains why she wouldn’t want the experience that the preschool can give her.”
He looked up to find both Logan and Olivia staring at him.
“You just strung more words together than I’ve heard you speak in the past decade,” Logan said, scratching his jaw.
“You care about her,” Olivia added.
“She’s responsible for my daughter,” Jake said, unwilling to address his feelings. “Of course I care.”
They both continued to watch him. “Don’t read more into this than what it is. Brooke’s grandparents arrive next week. Millie thinks she’s going to turn me into the perfect father, but that’s not going to happen.” He looked to Logan for confirmation. “With our background, I’m not cut out to be a parent to anyone.”
“Josh thought the same thing,” Logan answered, “but he’s doing fine with Claire.”
“That’s different.” Jake straightened. “Josh was nothing like Dad.”
“You’re not like him, either.”
Jake wanted to believe that but wasn’t convinced.
“Josh and I are driving up the mountain today to do some maintenance near the trailhead above the ranch. Want to come with us?”
Jake held up his hand. “I’m not much help on the trail these days.”
“We’ll find some way for you to be useful.”
He thought about going back to the empty house before Millie and Brooke returned then nodded. It had been years since he’d spent any time with his brothers. Part of him was worried they’d have nothing to talk about, but a larger piece didn’t care. He’d spent so much time alone in his life. Even when he was working out in the field, Jake had always remained a little apart from the group. Being with his daughter and Millie had made him realize he liked feeling as if he belonged. Maybe he could learn how to translate that into a relationship with his brothers.
“Sure. I’d like that.”
He was surprised at how happy his agreement seemed to make Logan.
“Are you and Millie bringing Brooke to the Labor Day Festival this weekend?” Olivia asked. “I’ll be working a booth for the community center, and Sara and Josh will bring guests from the ranch. We can all meet up if that works?”
“The Labor Day Festival like when we were kids?”
Logan nodded. “This is the thirty-fifth year. Remember, you used to walk us into town because Mom and Dad wouldn’t go? Somehow you always came up with the money so we could get cotton candy, hot dogs and have enough left over for a few rides.”
Jake remembered. He’d spend all summer each year collecting soda-pop cans and pilfering change from his father’s dresser to have money to show his siblings a good time at the festival. It was the one weekend they all looked forward to each year, when they could forget the troubles at home and simply have a good time. Other than the people he’d encountered at the hospital and locals at the bakery, Jake had managed to avoid running into many people who knew him back then. It was exactly the way he wanted it to remain.
“Brooke would love it,” Olivia said, breaking his reverie.
“I’m sure she will.” He nodded. “I’ll talk to Millie.” He thought of his promise to go “all-in” on
being a good parent. “Plan on seeing us there.”
* * *
“Daddy, you need to wear the crown.”
Millie smiled at the horrified expression that crossed Jake’s face as Brooke climbed the back steps to the porch and placed the ring of dandelions on top of his head.
“You’re the prince.”
“Can I be the prince without wearing flowers in my hair?” He met Millie’s gaze and grimaced.
She shook her head at the same time Brooke said, “You have to wear the crown.”
Millie and Brooke had spent the past hour playing in the backyard, creating a kingdom of rock-and-log thrones, pretend soup and the flower crowns. It was the kind of play Millie had loved as a girl, when she’d spent most of her time in the small woods next to their condo during her father’s visits. The condo wasn’t large and her mother had always wanted privacy with her dad, leaving Millie to fend for herself outdoors. Neither of her parents had ever joined her on her imaginary adventures, so she’d been surprised when Jake had returned home from an afternoon spent with his brothers and come to sit on the patio steps, helping to stir mud-and-leaf stew for his daughter.
He adjusted the band of flowers. Somehow the whimsical crown didn’t detract from his masculinity. In fact, the contrast somehow made him look even more appealing. As if he needed help in that area.
The doorbell sounded from inside the house.
“Pizza’s here,” Brooke announced.
“We didn’t order pizza tonight,” Millie told her. “Remember, we made lasagna after the museum today. It’s in the oven.”
“I’ll see who it is,” Jake said, standing but not removing the flowers from his hair. “Maybe I left something in Logan’s car.”
As he walked into the house, Millie lay back on the quilt she’d spread in the yard. She felt emotion uncurl in her stomach, a mix of happiness and hope she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Being with Brooke gave her life a sort of gentle purpose she relished. It was odd to feel as if she belonged in this little girl’s life. Her feelings for Jake were more complicated, but there was an underlying sense of rightness she couldn’t deny. Even if it was only temporary, she planned to savor every moment she had in Crimson.
Suddenly a Father Page 9
