“Never mind playing in the band. I might need you to teach me all that techy stuff you obviously know.”
Mason spent the next half hour trying to play one of the tunes from the booklet, much to his dog Cash’s discomposure. He was never too far away from his side, but Chad and Katie were able to continue their conversation over Mason’s musical attempts.
“So, your plans are to stay here for Christmas? That’ll be nice for you two.”
Katie nodded. “Yeah. I’m headed back in two days to make some arrangements for the farm to be checked on while I’m away. You never know what kind of weather or temperatures could hit.”
“The livestock’s being tended to by someone else?”
Katie’s gaze faltered. “I sold all of them. It was getting too hard to give the animals the attention they needed while bouncing back and forth between here and there. I was paying the farmer down the road more to look after them than I was making back by having them. They’re all gone.”
His throat constricted. “But the farm itself, you didn’t—”
“Sell it? God, no. Jay might want me to, but that’s one battle he’s not going to win.”
Chad nodded, a bloom of pride blossoming inside him. Good for you, he cheered silently. He knew how much that place meant to her. “He wants you to sell it and just move here?”
“He wants me to really try.” She made quotations with her fingers. “These next few weeks will show where we’re truly at with each other.” Her voice lowered as she spoke, uncertain how much Mason could hear over his blazing harmonica melodies.
“I miss you, Katie.” He blurted the words he’d been waiting to say since he’d shown up. He expected her to tell him to stop, to be mad or frustrated with him.
Instead, she nodded. “I miss you, too.”
A small triumphant smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“But I mean it. Jay and I need to really put an effort—”
“I’ve got it.” He raised his hands. “It’s okay.”
Mason whirled back around the corner of the sofa with Cash lagging exhaustedly behind him. “Did Mom tell you Dad wants to get married? To her, I mean?”
“Mason!” Katie turned seven shades of embarrassed, which confused the boy even more.
“What? Dad keeps talking—”
“No, she didn’t mention it, Mase.” He did his best to dismiss the subject, seeing Katie’s evident discomfort.
“Go get washed up for lunch, okay? I seem to have lost track of time today.”
Mason was still staring at her with a befuddled expression as he turned the corner and disappeared down the hallway.
“I wasn’t keeping it from you on purpose, Chad.”
“It’s okay. It’s none of my business.” He stood up, feeling the air in the room grow thick with tension.
“Jay’s been bringing it up, and I am very much against it,” she continued to explain. “I want to have a big ole’ beautiful wedding ceremony and a cake and a party someday, but not right now.”
“And not with him.” He locked eyes with her.
“Don’t do that. Please.” Her gaze fell to the floor as she stood, wiping nonexistent dust from her black pants. “And don’t follow me back to Canada, okay?”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “What makes you think I would?”
“You’ve done crazier things.” The corner of her mouth twitched. “I’ll be back.”
Chad glanced around the room, plucking a marker and paper from Mason’s drawing supplies on the coffee table. He scribbled vehemently and handed it to her. “I’m glad to hear it. When you do come back, feel free to call me or stop by.”
Katie took the paper from him, eyeing him warily. After a moment’s hesitation, she bent to scribble on one of the pieces of paper and handed it over to him.
“And that’s my cell number.”
“You have a real cellphone now? I never thought I’d see the day.”
Katie laughed, and the sound made him smile. “Only because there isn’t a landline phone here,” she advised.
Chad tucked the paper into the back pocket of his jeans, knowing he would have to remember to save it in his phone’s directory later tonight.
“So, friends?” He held out his hand toward her.
Katie chuckled softly, slipping her hand into his and shaking it gently. “Friends.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
KATIE
She was far from surprised when Jay came home earlier than usual from work, a few brightly colored file folders and CD cases tucked under his arm.
“What was he doing here, Katie?” he demanded to know once he’d deposited his armful of stuff onto the kitchen counter.
She’d known he would be disgruntled about Chad’s appearance—and frankly she expected an argument to arise from it—but the blame and annoyance in his voice still put her on edge. “You heard him. He found my barrette and returned it.”
“It sounds like a flimsy excuse to me.” Jay tossed his cell and wallet into the pile of belongings on the counter, the abrupt clatter causing her to turn around and face him.
“You bought me that barrette and seemed more than a little frustrated with me when I realized it had fallen out. You should be thanking him instead of insinuating that—what exactly are you insinuating?” She pulled the oven mitts from her hands, pushing the buttons on the timer a bit more aggressively than she needed to.
“You didn’t seem unhappy to see him.”
She suppressed an eye roll. “I wasn’t unhappy to see him! Why would I be? I was a bit surprised, I’ll admit that, but he did me a favor by returning something I’d lost. No more, no less. You can stop grasping at straws in your jealous stupor any time.”
“You can sit there and say—”
A loud honk from the harmonica cut through their argument as Mason appeared around the corner, the instrument held closely to his lips. “What’s wrong?”
His question resulted in a brief silence and short glances at one another.
“Sorry, Mase. It was just a silly argument.” Katie flashed him a half-hearted smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Supper is almost ready, buddy.”
Jay bent down to give his son a quick hug. “Hey, pal. Where did you get that nifty little thing?”
The boy held out the golden harmonica proudly. “Chad gave it to me for my birthday! It’s late, but it’s still cool.”
Jay snapped his head around to glare at her. “Is that so?”
She purposely turned away from him, checking the minutes left on the timer then opening the oven door to inspect the chicken within it. “It’s been here a while, Jay. I was eventually going to just give it to him myself, but—”
“But Chad showed up here and the present just happened to be here, too. Expecting him, were you?”
Katie slammed the baking pan down on top of the oven and turned it off. “No! Would you stop that? Mason loves the harmonica; can we just leave it at that?”
She peered over to see her son, wide-eyed and uncertain, watching them bicker back and forth. “It’s okay,” she promised him. “But dinner is ready, so can we take a break from the melodies for a bit and go wash up?”
He obediently nodded, his gaze flickering down to the instrument in hands as though it were the reason for all the fighting. He disappeared silently around the corner again, his dejected features tugging at Katie’s heart strings.
“You need to calm down, Jay.” Her words came out as a venomous hiss, trying hard to keep her voice low. “Mason doesn’t need to see us fighting all the time, especially when it’s for no reason.”
“And you think Chad Kirkwood is ‘no reason’ for me to be angry? Giving my son gifts and just stopping by for a visit?” Jay made air quotations with his fingers. The look of disgust on his face angered Katie even more.
“We’re friends, Jay. Nothing more. And Mason was glad to see him, too. Just let it go for now, all right?” She shook her head. This conversation was going nowhere fast, and
Mason did not need to be here for it.
“I missed him, Daddy.” The boy’s small voice rang through the air, his admission catching them both off guard. His hands were red from scrubbing them, and the harmonica was still clutched tightly between his fingers.
A loud sigh escaped Jay’s throat. “Mason, you don’t need to—”
His father’s tone of voice must have made him assume he’d said or done something wrong, because his eyes went wide. “But, so did Mom!”
“Mason!” Jay bellowed. “I don’t want to hear it!”
“But, she said she did!” he cried, looking over frantically to Katie for support.
The color drained from her face. “It’s okay, Mase—”
“No, it’s not! Mason, put that damn thing away like your mother told you!” Jay pointed accusingly at the toy in his son’s hand, his face turning red with anger.
“She said not to play it! I won’t—”
Jay lunged forward, snatching the harmonica from the little boy’s hand, and threw it angrily back toward the hallway, the metal casing thumping hard against the drywall. Mason began to wail immediately, a flood of tears and cries for Katie erupting from him as he ran to her.
“Christ, Jay!” She stared at him incredulously, Mason wrapped up tightly in her arms. “What’s gotten into you?” She stroked her son’s hair gently, whispering quiet shushing noises in between blinking back her own tears.
“Go check on your harmonica, okay, Mr. Mase? Take it into your room and I’ll bring dinner in there so we can watch Ninja Turtles and camp out on the bed.” She pulled away from him to peer at his tear-stained face through his bangs. A meek nod was all she got in response, and he ran down the hallway into the refuge of his room without looking back.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Katie turned to him, her face distorted in disbelief and rage. “Whatever it is, don’t you dare take it out on him!” She pointed toward Mason’s bedroom door.
“Katie, I am not trying to make things work just so that Chad goddamn Kirkwood—”
“If this is you trying,” she motioned furiously between them, “then you’re not very good at it. What did you think was going to happen? Purposely throwing Chad back into my life like that? This is all on you, Jay. Not him!”
“Our life! I was proving a damn point! You’re with me, not him! And I wanted him to damn well know it!”
“You’re an idiot,” she blurted out. “A jealous, raging idiot with no concern for anyone but yourself and your stupid pride.” The thought flitted through her mind that she, too, was being idiotic, allowing herself and Mason to continually endure this kind of living arrangement purely for the sake of trying to make something work that very obviously wasn’t.
She silently pulled two plates from the cupboard and began to dish out portions onto each of them. Jay could dish out his own. She heard him pacing on the other side of the kitchen island but didn’t turn around.
“You’ll have to go in and apologize to Mason. It’ll be a long few days together while I’m at the farm if you don’t.” She tried to even out her tone in hopes of dissipating the anger and tension between them.
“You need to just sell that damn place, Katie. And let go of everything associated with it. Maybe, then, we would actually have a fighting chance.” Jay, however, didn’t seem the least bit interested in lessening the animosity. She knew he was referring to Chad as the thing associated with the farm, but she refused to take the bait.
“I’m not selling it. We’ve been through this. It was my father’s home—”
“And your father is dead, Katie. Dead.”
She turned sharply, fixing her glare on him. She swallowed hard but kept her face stone-like, the steam rising steadily from the two dishes she held. She saw no remorse for his words or his actions, and she left him standing alone in the kitchen nook as she trudged down the hall to Mason’s bedroom, refusing to even dignify his ruthless, biting words with an answer.
***
Katie should’ve been tired. After a prolonged goodbye to Mason (he’d begun to cry as soon as she slammed the trunk lid down on her luggage bag), a curt, tense exchange with Jay about the things he needed to remember with regard to Mason’s care, more than a few moments of second-guessing her decision to leave Mason alone with him at all, then a six-hour flight with a delayed stopover, a long lineup while she waited to pick up her rental car, and a struggle getting a fire lit once she finally did make it to the farm, Katie knew she should be burnt out and ready for sleep.
She and Mason had just been talking only a few days ago about missing the comfy, old double bed they’d spent numerous Saturday mornings cuddled up in together while planning out their activities for their day on the farm. She should’ve been eager to climb into that bed and rest her exhausted body.
Instead, she was no more prepared for sleep than she was for the deafening silence and loneliness that welcomed her back home. The animals and birds had made more noise and offered more companionship than she’d realized. She wandered around the barnyard, peeking into the vacant chicken coop and running her hands along the old barn beams that made up the horse stalls as she passed. Sporadic flakes of snow began to drift slowly from the darkening sky above her, only adding to the cold and forgotten feel of her surroundings.
It all seemed so void of feeling somehow. Such a lack of attachment and purpose.
Maybe I could walk away from here for good, she thought, staring grimly at the outbuildings and fencing as the snowflakes began to land on them and accumulate.
The moment she dragged herself back onto the porch and into the warmth of the house’s interior, Katie was reminded immediately of exactly why she couldn’t do such a thing. Seeing the cedar planks adorning the walls of the cozy kitchen brought reminiscent tears to her eyes, and she could once again visualize the time she and her father had spent remodeling the old place to suit his rustic sense of decor. She might not have been able to see him anymore, or hold his frail hands, but she could sense her father’s presence when she was within these walls, and be damned if she would give that up to suit someone else’s needs.
Instead of attempting to achieve the sleep she knew wouldn’t yet come, Katie grabbed the only bottle of cheap wine she had left in the house and the radio from the kitchen window and ran a bath, letting the water turn as hot as she could physically handle before pushing the plug in and letting the old claw foot bathtub fill. She inhaled the steam as it wafted into the air, quickly creating a film of condensation across the oval shaped mirror above the sink.
She may have gasped as she inched herself into the scalding water, cursing herself for letting it get so hot, but within minutes her head rested comfortably along the bathtub rim, and her muscles and joints were growing less tense.
Tomorrow, she would visit the farmer down the road and hopefully arrange a deal with him to check on the house and property while she was in Nashville over Christmas. But tonight, she had little else to occupy her time except over-thinking everything and eventually—hopefully—sleeping. Therefore, drinking wine from the bottle and listening to the radio while she waited for the water to cool seemed the only logical option.
The chill from within her bones slowly dissipated as her mind floated over thoughts of all that had happened in the past few days.
And thoughts of Chad.
It was all supposed to be over with him, and yet Katie felt as though this was just the beginning. Even now, being back at Rustic Acres—the place she and Chad had sparked their friendship and bloomed their quiet affections for one another—she was sure she was closer to him somehow, despite being hundreds of miles away.
Months ago, she’d been convinced she would be able to turn her back on his kind of love, even if just for the sake of her son to have his father in his daily life, to have a normal life. But then she’d seen Chad in all his glory up on that stage, his husky voice crooning so beautifully with the music his band played, and he’d talked to her as though no time had passed bet
ween them at all. He missed her just as much as she missed him, and she liked the thought of having someone miss her like that.
She’d been away from Mason less than a day, yet she yearned to see his face and hear his uplifting chatter. But, she had yet to give Jay a second thought, save for fleeting moments when she questioned herself as to why she ever thought trying to build a relationship with him again would ever work out. It was impossible to build anything on a crumbling foundation, and the strong and sturdy foundation on which she and Jay’s love had once been constructed was nothing more than dust now, eroded by broken promises and shattered hearts.
There was nothing left between them, she could see that now. So, why was it so hard to admit it when Jay was in her presence? Why couldn’t she just tell him—or better yet, how could he not see it? Their days together since the fall had been filled with snippy comments, arguments, and tip-toeing around the truth of their unhappiness. Only a few moments broke through that web of discontent and registered on Katie’s radar as happy moments. Yet, he still seemed to believe there was something left worth clinging to.
Was she the one being unreasonable, dooming them without really giving it one last chance? That was the problem—she didn’t want to be the one who was unwilling to try. In the end, she feared being deemed the thoughtless one, the one who refused to try to keep their family together. She worried too much about how it affected other people, perhaps, but it was the truth, nonetheless.
And despite the knowledge that Jay had already walked away from their impending marriage and family life once, he wanted to put it all back together again. If it didn’t work now, it pained her to think that it could be blamed on her actions.
Maybe I’m just as selfish as I think he is, she thought. Maybe we deserve each other and the misery that keeps us together.
A string of familiar chords pulled Katie from her dark thoughts, and she stared at the radio suspiciously. As Chad Ashton’s brand new single played through the static, she stared up at the ceiling hopelessly, wondering if perhaps misery had a way of following her so as to always keep her company.
My Kind Of Country: The Complete Series Page 19
