“Cool. So, this is my girlfriend, Logan,” Jase said, beaming slightly. “Logan, this is Charlie – my ‘protector’ for all intents and purposes.”
I smiled. That was my word – protector. And Charlie was exactly that. He was huge – all big and muscly and assuming with really short blond hair. I couldn’t have picked anyone better to look out for Jase, and I was glad he’d finally broken down and hired someone. In the past he’d contracted out guys to guard him when he needed it, but in the past few months since Radio Riot and The Mulvaneys had done so well in the theaters, Jase’s popularity had risen tremendously, and it was hard for him to go anywhere without a bodyguard.
I’d learned that Charlie was his go-to guy whenever he went to New York, and when he was thinking of hiring a bodyguard, Charlie’s name was at the top of the list. I knew Jase felt better hiring someone he knew and trusted as opposed to taking his chances with an unknown guy, and Charlie had been more than amendable to move to L.A. for the job.
“It’s nice to meet you, Charlie,” I said, as I hugged Jase tighter.
I actually hated the idea of him needing protection, but there were crazy photographers and crazier fans, and in general, crazy people who could potentially hurt him, so I was grateful for Charlie.
“You too, Logan. Jase talked my ear off about you the whole way out here,” he said, an almost-smirk creeping up on his face.
“Dude, not cool,” Jase chastised him playfully. Charlie just shrugged.
“You missed me, too,” I teased Jase, and he just smiled.
“Of course I did,” he said and winked at me. Then he turned to Charlie. “Go on, man. I’m good here for tonight, but I think Logan and I are going to the beach tomorrow. She’s going to teach me to surf, so come back around ten?”
Charlie nodded. “I’ll be here.”
“Thanks, man,” Jase said, giving him one of those guy handshake/hug things.
I turned to Jase. “Come on inside. Let me show you where I grew up.”
He smiled down at me, and I immediately felt all gooey inside.
Chapter Two
Ethan
I closed my eyes and envisioned the girl on top of me with curly blond hair and blue eyes as I let her send me into oblivion. And when she did, it was Logan’s name on my lips, but I bit down on my tongue so I wouldn’t actually call out her name. Lizzy would be pissed is she knew I was thinking about Logan while we had sex. Sure, we were just friends with benefits, but I knew she’d take offense to me using her to work through my inappropriate crush on my best friend.
Lizzy collapsed on top of me, and I let her, as both of us tried to catch our breath. There was a reason I called her whenever things got to be too much and I needed a release. Being with her was nothing short of spectacular. If only I was into her my life might not be so complicated.
It had been almost three months since I’d let Logan know how I felt about her, since I’d kissed her and she’d run. Then she’d chosen her movie star, douchebag boyfriend over me, and it not only pissed me off, but it was a complete blow to my ego. I was better looking than Jason Brady, I was more fun to be around, and I knew Logan better than he ever could. Hell, she’d been my best friend for over ten years. He’d known her for, what, four months? That was some bullshit.
Lizzy made a sound like a cat stretching and rolled off of me. Then she looked at me.
“You are amazing, Ethan. Thanks for calling me,” she said before she pecked me on the cheek once and hopped off of my bed.
She started to put her clothes on, and I was glad she was so cool about our arrangement. She never wanted to stay the night, which was totally good with me. I didn’t need anyone getting attached when I was so fucked up in the head.
When I’d initially told Logan how I felt about her, she told me she thought I didn’t really want to be with her, that I just wanted a girlfriend. I just felt safe with her, that’s why I thought I had feelings for her. But I knew that wasn’t true. My feelings were real.
“See you later on this week?” Lizzie asked, her hand on my doorknob.
I put my hands behind my head and looked over at her. “Call me anytime.”
She grinned. “You know I will.”
Damn, she had one hell of a libido, and it suited my eighteen year-old sex drive just fine.
“Hey Garrett,” she murmured as she shut my door and stepped out into the hall.
A few seconds later there was a knock on my door. “You decent, bro?”
“No,” I yelled back to my brother.
That should have been obvious. He knew why Lizzie came over, and I was pretty sure he’d heard us. She wasn’t exactly quiet.
“Get decent. I’m coming in, and I don’t want to see your junk.”
I rolled my eyes and sat up, getting off the bed to walk into my bathroom. I disposed of the condom, yanked my boxers back on and yelled for him to come in.
Garrett wrinkled his nose when he walked in, and I knew my room smelled like sex. We’d gone a couple of rounds since I didn’t have class that afternoon and neither did Lizzie. I wasn’t even sure what time it was.
Instead of saying anything to my brother, I went over to the French doors and opened them wide, letting the California ocean air flow through the room and air it out.
“Lizzie again?” Garrett asked in disbelief as he plopped down on the armchair in the corner of my room.
I shrugged. “Your point?”
“Is it going anywhere with her?”
“No,” I answered curtly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “She’s just a friend.”
“What about Logan?”
“She’s also my friend,” I answered, being a shithead on purpose, because I knew where he was going, and I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.
I was never in the mood to talk about it, and Garrett knew that, but he still pushed every now and again.
We hadn’t really talked about my inappropriate feelings toward Logan since the day after I’d told her how I felt. I hadn’t wanted to talk then, but Garrett had pushed, and I was feeling battered and bruised, so I’d told him what was going on. He knew I’d kissed her, he knew Logan was upset, and he was pissed at me because it was my fault.
Then he realized that I hadn’t been fucking around, and I truly liked her, so he’d sort of let me off the hook. But only sort of, since he let me know in no uncertain terms that my timing had sucked, and it was a shitty move to kiss her when she had a boyfriend.
We’d both been friends with Logan since we were kids, and she’d always been like a second sister to both of us. We were equally protective of her, and both of us would go to the ends of the earth for her. Hurting her wasn’t an option.
And Garrett, being the more level-headed of the two of us, never really did anything that he didn’t think through fully, and I knew he felt I should have considered the consequences of my actions when I decided to tell Logan I loved her. But I wasn’t thinking about consequences. All I could think about was the fact that the longer she spent with her boyfriend, the further away from me she got, and if I didn’t act soon, I might never have a chance.
But I was too late. She’d already fallen for him.
And because of that I’d been sulking around the house for months, and my brother was either sick of it or trying to help. I wasn’t sure which, but either way, he kept bugging me about talking about how I was feeling. But I didn’t want to talk about it. Logan’s rejection didn’t sting any less after two months than it did the day she pushed me away.
At least I hadn’t lost her completely, which I feared was a possibility when I realized how upset she was, because it wasn’t bad enough that I’d kissed her and told her how I felt, but I’d inadvertently done it in front of her boyfriend. He was friends with my brother, and he’d come over to hang out not knowing his girlfriend was at our place. Then he’d seen us kiss, and all hell had broken loose, so Logan had gone after him. After that I was just the jackass who’d pulled a dick move and almost r
uined her relationship.
Jase assumed she’d cheated on him, he wouldn’t listen to reason, and the jerk broke up with her. I seriously wanted to punch his face in. Did he not realize what an amazing girl he had? If he didn’t, then he didn’t deserve her.
After that, I really hoped Logan would get over him, and then I would have a shot with her. Yeah, I was shithead of a friend for thinking that, but I’d honestly hoped that in the two weeks that she wasn’t with Jase that she’d consider what it would be like to be with me. I was her best friend, we had a shit-ton in common, and I made her laugh. I didn’t get what she saw in him. Sure, he was famous, but Logan had never cared about that. She wasn’t a star-fucker like so many girls I knew. She honestly liked the guy, and I just didn’t see the allure.
But I soon realized I wasn’t going to get what I wanted, so I got my priorities in order and did what I could to make things right.
I saw how miserable she was, and because of that, I knew I’d never have her. She was his, and that sucked. That was when I’d gone over to Jase’s house, told him the truth and told him I’d kick his ass if he continued to hurt Logan the way he was. She was miserable without him, and it was like a fucking jab in the heart to know that, but she wanted him and not me, and I had to live with that. So he went back to her, they made up, and I tried to put the whole thing behind me.
It didn’t work.
Nice try, asshole.
At least Logan wasn’t hurting anymore. That was a good thing. She was happy and in love, and I loved her, so I was happy for her. I guess.
I honestly didn’t know what to feel anymore.
“I thought you had feelings for Logan,” Garrett probed.
“So.”
“So, why are you sleeping with Lizzie several times a week?”
“Because Logan won’t sleep with me,” I rationalized. “And I have a healthy sex drive.”
Garrett rolled his eyes. “Grow up, man.”
I honestly felt like punching him. Ever since he’d gotten a girlfriend, he’d been a bit of an elitist dick. I think he felt like everyone should experience the magic of what he had with Ellie, or some shit like that, I wasn’t exactly sure, but either way I didn’t need him on my case. I didn’t want a girlfriend. I wanted Logan.
Of course Logan didn’t know that. Yes, I’d told her, but then I’d untold her, blaming it on a moment of insanity, and she’d bought it. I’d actually seen the relief on her face. And that killed me, but I couldn’t go on letting her think I had feelings for her. Once she was back with Jase, I was honestly afraid I’d lose her if she thought I liked her, or if he suspected I might try to steal his girl again. And the only thing worse than not being with Logan was not being her friend. I couldn’t remember a time she hadn’t been in my life, and I couldn’t lose her.
“Fuck you,” I responded to my brother. “Just because you’ve always been Mr. Monogamous doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Besides, I need a distraction while Logan’s with that douchebag.”
Garrett stretched his legs out in front of him. “Well, then, you’ll probably be distracting yourself for a while. Jase has no plans to end things with Lo, and you know how she feels about him.”
I shrugged, knowing I looked petulant, but I didn’t care. This year was supposed to be awesome. I’d started college, I was living in a sweet house on the beach, and Logan had moved to L.A.
I was stoked when she’d called to tell me she was going to USC. It was the best news, and I hadn’t even been in love with her then. I’d just been thrilled that my best friend was going to be living in L.A. year-round. I’d fallen in love with her after she’d moved here. And now, because of that, I was a cranky asshole most of the time. And I hated it.
I’d never been in love before. I’d never even had a girlfriend. I’d enjoyed life and sampled different women who crossed my path. It was easy and fun. What I was dealing with now was just depressing.
“How about I set you up with someone?” Garrett suggested.
I shrugged. “Who?”
“How about Ellie’s friend, Kara.”
“She hot?”
Garrett gave me an exasperated look. “It’s Kara Carmichael. What do you think?”
My eyes lit up involuntarily. Kara Carmichael had acted with Ellie on a Disney show for a few years. She was smokin’ hot.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll go out with her,” I said, trying to mask my excitement.
Garrett smiled. “I figured you’d say that. So, hey, I’m going to go out for a little bit,” he said, gesturing toward the ocean. “The waves are looking good. You want to come with?”
“Sure,” I said, fighting the smile that wanted to appear on my face.
Garrett was a sneaky motherfucker. He knew my weaknesses, and aside from hot women, surfing was second on the list. He knew I couldn’t turn down great swells.
Chapter Three
Logan
“Are you cooking?” Jase asked, coming up behind me, his arms encircling my waist.
It was the first time he’d touched me since we’d come inside, almost as if he was afraid to put his hands on me with my dad watching, but my dad was no longer in the room. He’d gone into his bedroom to talk to his girlfriend, Sasha, who was New York visiting her parents for the holidays, so Jase was capitalizing on the time we had alone.
His lips landed on my bare shoulder, and I dropped the spoon I was holding and fell back against his chest. I tilted my head back, so I could look at him, and he captured my lips with his, excitement rippling through my neglected body.
I really wished we were back in L.A. in his kitchen that was so close to his bedroom. I desperately wanted to be alone with him after being separated for two weeks. I had no idea how I was going to survive the spring. He was scheduled to be on location in New Orleans for six weeks. He was leaving right after the SAG Awards at the end of January, so we’d have roughly a month together before we’d be separated again.
But, I’d chosen to date an actor, whose career was on fire, so it was the price I paid.
I turned in Jase’s arms and slid my hands behind his head, securing him in place as he kissed me deeply, pulling my body flush against his. A deep rumbling emanated from his chest which caused me to think all sorts of inappropriate thoughts.
“Ahem.”
Shit.
My dad clearing his throat pulled us apart like we’d been shocked, and I wondered how long he’d been standing there watching us. I saw Jase’s face color as he made eye contact with my dad.
“How’s Sasha?” I asked, attempting to break the tension in the room.
“She’s good,” my dad responded curtly.
I rolled my eyes. “Dad, he’s my boyfriend. We kiss. Get over it.”
“Logan!” Jase hissed under his breath, but I ignored him.
My dad sighed. “I know you do, baby,” he said resignedly. “I just don’t want to see it.”
“I’m sorry,” Jase quickly apologized. “It was my fault. I won’t touch her again, sir.”
I rolled my eyes again. This was going to get old, and to make matters worse, my dad looked amused by Jase’s vow. I think he liked it. So just to get them both riled up, I wrapped my arms around Jase’s waist.
“Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Jase, and we’re both adults. Okay? Just like you and Sasha, and just like you guys, we might hold hands or hug or even kiss, but if you want us to keep our hands to ourselves, then maybe you want to consider censoring yourself the same way.”
My dad looked a little stunned that I’d called him out, but he and Sasha were very touchy. She was always holding onto him and tickling him and kissing his cheek. They cuddled on the couch when we were watching TV, and she’d be wrapped around him. Every few minutes he’d kiss her temple or she’d lean up and kiss him. He had no room to talk. But I wasn’t exactly sure if calling him out in front of Jase had been the right idea.
Thankfully the stunned look on his face slowly turned to amusement, so I knew I didn’t h
ave anything to worry about. He might say something to me later, but he wasn’t going to go off on me in front of Jase, so that was good. Jase looked awkwardly uncomfortable, though, so I handed him a knife and an onion.
“Can you chop this for me, babe?”
“Sure,” he grunted, so I elbowed him in the ribs.
“It’s fine,” I whispered to him. “Let it go.”
I looked up at my dad, and he winked at me. Then he mouthed, “Well played,” and I smiled.
My dad could be cool.
“Can I do anything to help, Lo?” he asked me then.
“No, we’re good,” I said, as I returned to the recipe I was reading, making sure I had all the ingredients I needed. Then I turned back to him. “Actually, can you find a good bottle of red wine that you guys can drink with dinner?”
Jase was twenty-one, so he got to drink. If I was lucky my dad might let me have a glass. He was cool with it sometimes, as long as he could control the environment I was in and I wasn’t driving anywhere.
“You got it, kiddo,” he said, as he disappeared into the pantry.
I looked over at Jase who was methodically chopping the onion I’d given him and smiled. He was good in the kitchen, so maybe I’d keep him close by. That way my dad couldn’t grill him too much, since I knew he wanted to, and I’d have a helper so I didn’t make a mistake.
“Here, you can mince these when you’re done,” I said, setting two cloves of garlic on his cutting board.
“What are we making?” he whispered.
“Why are you whispering?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said, then he grinned. “I’m nervous around your dad. Your mom didn’t scare me, but he’s intimidating as hell.”
I smiled. “He’s really not. He’s just protective of his only daughter, and you’re a potential threat,” I whispered back to him.
“I’m not that threatening,” he responded in an equally hushed tone.
Gravity Happens (Forcing Gravity) Page 2
