Love, Lies and Marriage

by Barbara Cartland

  Instinctively she moved to reach the window, feeling that she needed air.

  “What is it?” Harry asked in concern. “What has upset you?”

  Teresa found it almost impossible to speak. “Tell me!” Harry persisted and it was a command.

  “I – don’t – know how to tell you. And – you will be – very – very angry – even more – angry than you were before.”

  Harry raised his eyebrows.

  “I should have thought that was impossible, but tell me what your father has written.”

  “I-I – cannot,” Teresa murmured. “Oh – Harry – I cannot – tell you! How could I have – known – how could I have – guessed that – this would happen?”

  “Give me the letter!” Harry said.

  Because once again he was commanding her, she moved towards him.

  He took the letter from her with one hand and held onto her wrist with the other.

  “I cannot imagine why you should be so upset!” he said.

  “You will – see why – when you read what – Papa has – written,” Teresa answered incoherently.

  She was so upset, yet she could not pull away from him and without thinking she crouched down beside his chair.

  Harry started to read the note.

  Teresa laid her head against him.

  She was too frightened to see the fury on his face and hear the anger in his voice.

  There was silence – a silence that Teresa felt was like a dark cloud that completely encompassed her.

  Then, unexpectedly, Harry laughed.

  It was a choked laugh, as if he could not help himself.

  Teresa stared up at him in astonishment and he said,

  “I have never met such a couple of old muddlers! They should be ashamed of themselves!” “I-I am sorry – so terribly – sorry,” Teresa cried. “I thought – you would be – free – but – ”

  “They bungled it!” Harry interrupted. “Really! Two grown men! I never imagined my uncle or your father could behave so foolishly. It is incredible!”

  Because she did not understand, Teresa could only stare at him.

  Unexpectedly, he put his arm round her.

  “I was going to ask you this evening,” he said quietly, “if, my darling, you would marry me. However, my uncle and your father have done that already!”

  “You were going to – ask me to be – your wife?” Teresa asked breathlessly.

  She thought she could not have heard him aright or that Harry was merely teasing her. He drew her a little closer.

  “I love you!” he sighed. “I have loved you ever since I first saw you.”

  “I do – not believe – it!” Teresa whispered.

  “I will make you believe it,” Harry promised, “for I think, my darling, that you love me a little.”

  Teresa hid her face against his shoulder.

  “I do – love you,” she said brokenly, “but – I never – thought – you could – ever love – me.”

  “How can I help it,” Harry answered, “when you saved my life and are everything a man could want in his wife? Also so beautiful that whenever I look at you, I think that I must be dreaming.”

  “How can – you say such – things to – me, Harry, when I have – been so very – unhappy thinking – you were going back – to London – to marry someone else?”

  She could not bring herself to say the actress’s name.

  “I never intended to marry anyone – except you!” Harry said.

  Because she was so surprised, Teresa raised her head.

  “But – your uncle – thought – ”

  “I know exactly what he thought,” Harry interrupted, “and if he had had the sense to ask me instead of drugging me with that Chinese filth, I would have told him I was trying to ask him for his advice as to the best way of getting myself out of a somewhat tricky situation.”

  Teresa was listening wide-eyed and he added, “I had better tell you what happened and clear the decks once and for all.”

  “Yes – please – tell,” Teresa begged. “I cannot – imagine how – all this has – happened.”

  “It happened,” Harry explained, “because I found Camille Clyde a very amusing person to be with and, after years of being away from London, I wanted to enjoy all the delights that were available.”

  “I – can understand – that,” Teresa murmured.

  “I thought you would. You are a very understanding, very intelligent girl.”

  He paused for a moment to look down at her as if he wanted to kiss her.

  Then, as if he felt he must go on, he said,

  “One night after we had attended a dinner party and had a great deal too much to drink, Camille said, I thought jokingly,

  ‘I think it would be a good idea if we got married!’

  Because I was not thinking very clearly, I replied,

  ‘It would be a better idea if you behaved as if you were my wife!’

  ‘I kissed her and after that she used to tease me by saying,

  ‘Now kiss me as if I was your wife’.”

  He paused for a moment, as if he was looking back.

  Then he went on,

  “Quite suddenly I realised that what had been a game was getting serious! I suspect that was when Camille told her friends that we were actually going to be married.”

  He looked down at Teresa and said quietly, “I swear to you, my precious, that the only time I have ever considered putting another woman in my mother’s place was when I met you.”

  “Oh – Harry – is that – really – true?” Because it seemed so wonderful, Teresa felt the tears fill her eyes.

  Now they trickled down her cheeks.

  “I swear it is the truth,” Harry answered, “and I know, my beautiful darling, that you are exactly the sort of woman my mother would have chosen for me as my wife.”

  He pulled her closer still and wiped away her tears.

  Then he was kissing her, kissing her possessively and very demandingly, as if he was afraid of losing her.

  To Teresa it was as if the Heavens opened and Harry carried her inside.

  She had never been kissed before.

  It was rapture beyond anything she could imagine or thought she was capable of feeling.

  Harry kissed her and went on kissing her until they were both breathless.

  Then he sighed,

  “My darling, my sweet, my wonderful little wife, I know we will be happy.”

  “I love you – oh – how I love – you!” Teresa whispered.

  Harry pulled her closer to him so that they were squeezed together in the big chair.

  “I was going to ask you this evening,” he said, “if you would marry me.”

  “I-I thought you were – going to – tell me that you were – going back to London – and did not – want me here any – more.”

  “How can you imagine anything so ridiculous?” Harry asked. “I have not even dared look at you or touch you until I was well enough to feel I was a man again but, my precious, I have wanted to kiss you ever since I listened to you talking to me and soothing my brow, when I thought at first you were my mother.”

  Teresa hid her face against his neck.

  “I thought somehow you were a – child that had been – hurt,” she whispered, “and I had to make you – well again.”

  “That is what you will do to our children and I know they will all ride as well as we do.”

  Teresa gave a little laugh.

  “You are – going far too – fast!” she protested. “I have not – yet grown – used to the – idea that I am – really married to – you.”

  “I have been planning our marriage in my mind,” Harry said, “and now we are going to be married again.”

  “Again?” Teresa queried in astonishment. “How can – we?”

  “Very easily. I had already decided that our marriage must be completely secret because everybody thinks that we are married already.”

  He pause
d and then continued,

  “I know the old Vicar who christened me will be only too pleased to marry us and then we could trust him never in any circumstances to tell anyone what he has done.”

  “But now we know our – first marriage was not – just pretence!” Teresa murmured.

  “If you think I want to be married and not even remember the service, you are very much mistaken!” He smiled and then added,

  “Especially as I am marrying the most beautiful, the most perfect and the cleverest woman a man could possibly have.”

  “Oh, Harry – that is – what I want to be – for you!”

  “So tomorrow evening we will be married here in the Chapel,” Harry went on, “and there will be no need for anyone to know what has actually taken place. I shall merely say it is a service of thanksgiving for my recovery from being shot.”

  Teresa gave a cry of joy.

  “You are so clever,” she said, “you think of everything!”

  “I think of you,” he answered, “and, my darling, you are never going to forget marrying me properly with both of us in full command of our senses and, of course – our hearts!”

  He pulled her to him and kissed her again.

  Teresa knew that his love for her was as deep and complete as hers for him.

  “I love you!” she cried.

  But the words were very inadequate to describe her feelings.

  *

  Teresa knew the next morning from the moment Harry came down to breakfast that he was making the day a very special one.

  It was their real wedding day.

  Although Harry wanted to ride, he contented himself visiting the stables and admiring the horses.

  He arranged that he and Teresa would ride the following day.

  When they were in the study, Harry said,

  “I have decided that when we are not here at Bourne, I should learn how to make money by working with your father as you wanted to do.”

  Teresa gave a cry of excitement.

  “Oh, Harry, that would be marvellous for Papa and I would love it too!”

  “Then that is what we will do,” Harry said in a tone of satisfaction.

  “We must also spend a lot of time here,” Teresa suggested.

  “Of course,” Harry agreed.

  “But – what about – Stoke Palace?” Her voice was worried.

  “When Uncle Maurice dies,” Harry answered, “which will not be for years, we will give Bourne Hall to our eldest son and move into The Palace.”

  Teresa laughed.

  “You are going too fast!” she protested.

  At the same time the future could not seem more glamorous or exciting.

  Without Nanny pressing him, he went to lie down about teatime and insisted that Teresa do the same.

  She had the feeling that he had been planning very carefully exactly what would happen.

  She thought the way he looked at her with love in his eyes was the most wonderful thing that could possibly occur in the whole wide world.

  She lay in bed thanking God over and over again that she had found love.

  Now the future was brilliant with sunshine, flowers and everything everywhere was beautiful.

  ‘I shall be with Harry, listening to Harry and talking to Harry,’ she told herself. ‘Please God, make him go on loving me.’

  When she got up, she learned that they were having an early meal and Harry was coming down for it.

  She went to her wardrobe and took out the prettiest dress she possessed.

  She knew it was very becoming and it made her look very young, and at the same time ethereal.

  She might have stepped out from under the trees in the wood.

  She thought, despite all their arguments together and Harry thinking her too clever, it was just what he would want on his wedding day.

  She looked very feminine and, as she told herself, very helpless.

  It was what she actually felt.

  Because she was so desperately in love with Harry, it was impossible to think of not doing exactly what he wanted and what he asked of her.

  ‘Perhaps he will get bored with me if I just sit humbly at his feet?’ she told herself.

  Then she laughed because she knew however much she tried they would be stimulating each other with new ideas.

  It would be impossible not to argue with Harry just for the fun of being defeated by him.

  When she went the downstairs to dinner, she saw that he was wearing his best evening clothes.

  No man could look more handsome or more attractive.

  He was waiting for her in the drawing room and she ran towards him because it was impossible to walk slowly.

  “You look lovely my darling,” he said, “just as I wanted you to look on our wedding day.” He said the words very softly and she knew that they meant as much to him as they did to her.

  When dinner was announced, they went in together.

  It was impossible afterwards for Teresa to know what she ate.

  She guessed that because Harry was downstairs, every effort would have been made to provide him with the dishes he liked and wine that went with them.

  All she could think of was how handsome he looked sitting at the top of the table.

  How wonderful it was that he wanted her to stay with him and that he really loved her! When dinner was finished, he said quietly, “It would be a mistake to go upstairs and I want you to come with me to the study.”

  She wondered why.

  When they reached the room that was particularly his and which had been his father’s before him, Harry went to the desk and pulled open a drawer.

  He drew out first a diamond tiara and then a short tulle veil to wear beneath it.

  She knew it might have attracted someone’s attention if she had worn a full bridal veil and this just covered her hair.

  When she put the tiara on top, she saw how becoming it was.

  “This is the tiara my mother wore,” Harry said, “and I always hoped that it would look as lovely on my wife.”

  “Thank you for letting me wear it,” Teresa sighed.

  He looked at her for a long moment, but did not kiss her.

  Then he drew from the cupboard a small bouquet of white flowers.

  He put it into her hand and offered her his arm.

  They went from the study along a corridor, which led to the Chapel at the end of the house.

  Teresa knew that the Vicar would be waiting for them.

  When they reached the door, she saw an elderly man with white hair standing in front of the altar.

  What she had not expected was that Harry would have made the Chapel look so beautiful.

  The candles were all lit, six on the altar and two huge ones on either side of it.

  The altar itself was covered with white flowers and there were huge pots of lilies in the chancel.

  As she moved up the aisle on Harry’s arm, the Vicar smiled at them.

  When they reached him, he began the Service.

  It was very simple and yet it held a sincerity that Teresa thought she would always remember.

  When they knelt for the Blessing, she was sure that God was blessing them, as he had done already in letting them find each other.

  Their love was the same love that had kept her father and mother blissfully happy for so many years.

  When the Service was over, the Vicar knelt down in front of the altar.

  Harry raised Teresa to her feet and kissed her very gently.

  It was, she recognised at once, a kiss of dedication.

  They went up the stairs together in silence.

  Then, surprisingly, Harry took her to a different room from the one she had been sleeping in since she came to The Hall.

  This was a room next to the State bedroom and she guessed his mother and every Countess before her must have occupied it.

  She realised that the room must have been closed up after she died.

  On Harry’s instructions it had been
opened today.

  The curtains were all drawn back and the room seemed a mystical place where there was nothing but love.

  There were also, Teresa saw, white flowers everywhere as there had been in the Chapel. She knew this told her that now she was in the same shrine in Harry’s heart in which he worshipped his mother.

  He did not have to explain that no other woman had ever meant this to him.

  Because Teresa had longed for this moment, she felt as if he had taken the stars from the sky and hung them round her neck.

  The scent from the white lilies and the other flowers filled the air.

  As Harry closed the door, Teresa realised there was no maid to help her undress.

  Harry wished to wait on her.

  He then drew her close to him, kissing her gently but not passionately.

  The deep solemnity and the beauty of their wedding still surrounded them.

  Then very gently, he took the tiara from her head and put it down on the dressing table. Then he removed the small veil.

  She felt his hands taking the pins from her hair so that it fell down over her shoulders.

  Finally he undid her gown and it dropped to the ground.

  It was then his lips were on hers.

  As he held her close and still closer against him, she felt the ecstasy and wonder of his kisses.

  Harry carried her to the bed and laid her down softly on the pillows.

  She felt that she must have stepped into a dream because everything around her was so beautiful.

  The stars and the soft silver light of the moon seemed a part of them both.

  Then Harry joined her.

  As he took her into his arms, he said quietly, “I love you.”

  “And I love – you with – all my – heart,” Teresa answered, “but please – darling, I am – afraid.”

  “Of me?” Harry asked.

  “No – of course not, but I am – afraid you will find me – boring after all – the beautiful women who have – loved you before and I – know so very little about – love.”

  “Do you think I want you to know anything about it except from me?” Harry asked fiercely.

  He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her lips and then her neck.

  It gave her sensations she had never before known.

  It felt so wonderful that she could never have imagined it, and yet now it was real.

  This was love – this was Heaven on earth.