by Gail Sattler
The only official documents on file with his handwriting written legibly were the job application he had filled out and the IRS form. Shannon was the payroll administrator, but he didn’t think she had access to those files. Even if she did, she had too much honor to search through personnel files for handwriting samples.
He looked at the customers’ routing cards sorted neatly in the various drivers’ route slots. The names of their customers were written in, but he wasn’t the only one doing it. Gary and the other dispatchers wrote in the names, and sometimes people in the office wrote an occasional pickup request. As well, the times the calls were given to the drivers were noted by whoever was on the radio to that driver at the time, which was any one of the four of them. At the end of the day, all the cards were gathered into a bundle, labeled by date, and tossed into a box, never to be looked at again unless there was a problem. It wasn’t likely Shannon would ever look there. Even if she did dig through the box and match the handwriting, nothing was identifiable as his.
Todd smiled and continued writing.
Every day while we’re at work,
Todd stopped writing. His brain stalled while he tried to think of a word that rhymed with “work.” Since nothing came, he mentally ran through the alphabet starting with A, taking each letter and ending it with the “erk” sound. The first combination he made that was really a word was “jerk,” so he kept going. The next word started with the letter L, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to mention the word “lurk” in a note. He was already leaving anonymous notes, and he didn’t want to frighten Shannon or hint that he was following her around. He wasn’t a stalker. He only wanted to tell her he recognized the special Christian woman she’d become and how much he loved her.
He crumpled the paper and shoved it in his pocket to put through the shredder, then started again.
Dearest Shannon,
Thinking of you makes me smile,
Like. . .
The pen froze again. What happy thing rhymed with smile? He started to run through the alphabet again, mentally choked on the word “bile,” shook his head and kept going with the alphabet.
Like an alligator in the lazy Nile.
Or was it crocodiles in the Nile? He knew alligators lived in Florida and crocodiles lived in Australia, but he didn’t know which ones lived in Egypt.
Todd scribbled out the words and shoved that piece of paper in his pocket, too. He didn’t want her to think he was a predatory animal. He’d already nixed another predatory word.
Todd started again.
Dearest Shannon,
The phone rang before he could think of another opening sentence. He chatted with the caller for a few minutes while noting some special requests for a pickup of a priority parcel, then resumed his quest.
The light went out for line 3. The scrape of Gary’s chair along the tile floor was followed by the metallic grind of his filing-cabinet drawer opening. “Almost ready?” Gary called out. “Those guys should be back soon.”
Todd looked up at the clock. He had five minutes left in which to write the note he would leave tomorrow.
He gritted his teeth. Writing poetry was hard enough, but writing good, meaningful, sincere poetry was even harder, especially when he had to do it while watching the clock.
Dearest Shannon,
I love you more every day
You are more special than words can say
He stopped writing, fighting for the words as every tick of the clock echoed loudly through his head, reminding him time was running short.
Nothing came. Bryan’s and Rick’s voices drifted through the doorway, signaling their imminent arrival.
Todd folded the paper carefully and shoved it in his pocket. His only option to finish the note in private would be to do it in the washroom before he left. He told himself this was what he deserved for not writing the note at home, when he had more time and the privacy he needed. His struggles also served as a reminder that the more notes he wrote, the harder it was becoming to find different wording and more rhymes he hadn’t used before.
It was a lot of work, and he knew he had to be diligent, but this was the only way he could think of to tell Shannon how he felt. When the time was right to reveal himself, he hoped she would see that for once in his life his actions toward her were sincere and she would take him seriously.
❧
Shannon set her mug on the corner of her desk, walked around to her chair, and slid in.
When she reached for the drawer handle, she realized she would be disappointed if she didn’t find a new note.
She held her breath, wrapped her fingers around the cold metal, and pulled. Sure enough, another note lay in the pencil tray.
As she picked up the small piece of notepaper, again bound by a red ribbon with a chocolate kiss tied to the end, she paused. This note wasn’t as pristine as the other notes. For the first time, the paper was crinkled.
She shrugged her shoulders, tugged the bow on the ribbon to open it, set the chocolate kiss aside, and began to read.
Dearest Shannon,
I love you more every day
You are more special than words can say.
These words I write are to say to you
That I think of you in all I do.
Your Secret Admirer
Shannon smiled. The Secret Admirer’s poetry was still bad, but his sentiments continued to be just as sweet.
She put the paper down in front of her and picked up the chocolate kiss. As she picked off the colored foil wrapping, she reread the note, trying to figure out if the word patterns were familiar or if any expressions might be unique to one person. She had almost finished the last line when she heard footsteps behind her chair. She quickly whipped the note into her drawer, grabbed her pencil, and popped the chocolate kiss into her mouth.
“I saw that,” Faye said as she appeared beside Shannon.
Shannon’s heart pounded. She had thought she’d tucked the note away soon enough, but she’d become careless. She turned to the side and looked up at Faye, who was standing beside her chair and holding a mug of steaming coffee in one hand. Shannon’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Faye’s eyebrows raised. “Why? Are you on a diet? You of all people, too.” She rested her free hand on her stomach. “I’m the one who could probably lose ten pounds, but not you.”
Shannon tried not to sag with relief that it was only the chocolate Faye had seen. She said the first thing that came to her mind. “I guess it’s just a girl thing. Next weekend I’m going to an anniversary celebration at my old church, and I want to be able to fit into my dress.”
Faye picked up the foil wrapping. “It was just a chocolate kiss, not a whole bar. How many calories can it have?” She glanced around Shannon’s desktop, then to the drawer, which was tightly closed. “Got any more? Do you share?”
“Sorry. I only got one.”
Faye turned and looked at her own desk, beside Shannon’s, which was bare except for her in and out baskets and computer. “Got? You mean someone around here has good chocolate kisses and skipped me? I’m going to have to wring someone’s neck. Who’s giving them out?”
Shannon nearly choked, even though the last of the kiss had already dissolved in her mouth. Her mind raced to think of what she could say that wouldn’t be lying but yet wouldn’t be spilling the beans about what had been happening for over a week now. “I don’t know. Someone left it for me.” She deliberately didn’t mention the notes that came with the kisses and hoped and prayed Faye wouldn’t ask for more details.
“Wow. Someone has a crush on you, I’ll bet.”
Shannon had a bad feeling it was more than a crush, since someone was going to a lot of trouble and for so long. “Naw. It’s probably just someone who knows I like this kind of chocolate. I’ll bet they’re even wondering why I haven’t thanked them. I should probably know who it is, but I can’t figure it out.”
Faye sighed, her eye
s drifted shut, and she pressed her free hand over her heart. “I wish some handsome knight would woo me with chocolate kisses. He’d have my heart for sure.” Her eyes opened, and she grinned at Shannon. “I’d really like it if Todd would leave me romantic stuff like that.”
“Todd?” Shannon blinked. The only thing he’d ever left her was a cold, slimy live frog. “That man doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Don’t tell me you have a crush on him.” His remark from the previous day—that he thought Faye liked him—repeated in her head. It appeared he was right.
“He’s so–o–o handsome. And so funny!”
“He’s also. . .” Shannon’s voice trailed off. Todd was funny, when a person wasn’t the target of his jokes. And she couldn’t argue that he wasn’t handsome, because he was. The biggest problem was he knew it.
She tried to think of something else to say about Todd to discourage Faye, to tell her what he was really like, but again, she had to be fair. They’d worked together for nearly a month, and he’d done nothing untoward. He hadn’t played a single practical joke on anyone. He was polite, helpful, and appeared to be doing a good job. If she had to draw a dotted line in time, from the day he started working there, she couldn’t think of anything bad to say about him.
As well, Todd continued to be her brother’s best friend after fifteen years. Craig always chose his friends carefully. He had many acquaintances but only a select group of people he would call close friends. Craig said repeatedly that Todd had turned his life around and changed into a decent human being.
Faye waited expectantly beside her. “Todd’s also. . . ?”
“Nothing,” Shannon mumbled as she typed in her password and opened her e-mail. “I forgot what I was going to say. Just remember that even though Todd isn’t bad looking, beauty is only skin deep.”
Faye nodded. She began to walk the three steps to her desk but stopped after only two steps. She turned her head to look over her shoulder at Shannon. “That may be so, but beauty is also in the eye of the beholder.”
Five
Todd walked into the bookstore, trying to make it look as if he were comfortable in such a place. He stared up and down one aisle, then another, unable to believe there could be so many books under one roof. They even had a coffee shop in the back. The public library hadn’t been as large as this store.
The book he’d wanted had been marked “library use only,” and he couldn’t go into the library every few days. Therefore, he had come to buy the book.
If he could find it.
A young lady wearing a green polo shirt with a pin-on badge showing the logo of the store and the name “Staci” approached him, proving he looked as lost as he felt.
“May I help you?” she asked.
He didn’t know if he should admit he’d just been to the library, where he didn’t have to pay for anything. “I’m looking for one of those books that has rhyming words in it. For writing stuff.”
She smiled politely. “You mean a rhyming dictionary? We have a number of different kinds. There are rhyming dictionaries for both children and adults. Some are geared for poets. We have a nice one for musicians—and a few in more of a dictionary format. We have them in paperback or hardcover.”
Todd’s head swam. If it wasn’t hard enough to pick meaningful words that rhymed and still get his point across, now he had to decide which reference book was the best kind to suit his needs. The one he’d found at the library seemed good, but he hadn’t realized it was any specific kind. He only knew he couldn’t leave the building with it. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “That’s what I want.”
She pointed across the room. “In the nonfiction section, in 18B.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled again and began walking.
When he finally found the right shelf, he gritted his teeth and went through all of the books, one by one, until he found one that looked as if it had the biggest selection of words per page. He cringed at the price, now realizing why the library wouldn’t let their copy out of the building, then picked a smaller paperback version instead. For what he was doing, he didn’t need every word in the English language. He only needed lists of words that rhymed.
With his selection in hand, Todd headed toward the front of the store to check out. While he walked, he continued to survey the building and its contents, feeling more in awe with every table and shelf he passed. Finally, when he came to a table displaying a big yellow sign that announced everything on it was marked seventy percent off, his curiosity got the better of him. He stopped.
The subject of most of the books centered on past holiday seasons. Some were works of fiction by authors he had never heard of before. When he saw one title that contained the word “Bible” he picked it up. He turned it over and started reading the back cover to discover the book was a work of fiction based on the life of one of the Old Testament prophets.
Todd couldn’t remember the last time he read anything that wasn’t nonfiction or was longer than a magazine article. He opened the book and started to read the first page to see if he might like it when a voice piped up beside him.
“Todd? What are you doing here?”
He fumbled with the book, snapped it shut, and slipped it over the rhyming dictionary to hide the title.
“Shannon,” he muttered, trying to keep his voice from cracking. “What are you doing here?”
She glanced at the table, then at the two books in his hand. “The same thing as you, apparently.”
Shannon, too, held a couple of books. From as far back as he knew her, he remembered her reading something. He shouldn’t have been surprised to find her in a bookstore.
She lowered her head to look at his two books and tipped her head slightly. “What do you have? Anything interesting?”
He pressed the two books tightly together, not offering her either one. “I guess. Maybe. I’m not sure. What do you have?” Not that he wanted to know specifically what she was reading. He only wanted to distract her from the books in his own hand. Especially the one on the bottom.
Shannon had no such hesitations. She held out both books to him so he could plainly see the covers. “I have a couple of inspirational romance anthologies. I just love Christian fiction, and we have more to choose from now. It’s especially great to find them in a store like this. You know how much I love to read. I have to admit I’m a little surprised to see you here. I can’t say I’ve ever seen you with a book in your hand.”
He grinned. For years, he’d teased her about being a bookworm. He’d only meant it as a compliment. He considered her diligence in reading to be a sign of intelligence. She always countered his teasing by calling him illiterate.
Todd cleared his throat and straightened his smile. He pressed his hand to his chest, over his heart and did his best to appear serious. “There’re a lot of things about me you don’t know. How about if I treat you to a coffee, and I’ll tell you about them?”
She glanced at the coffee shop in the back of the store. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. It’ll be fun.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Sure. Why not? I don’t have anything better to do or anywhere else to go.”
He tried not to let her comment sting, but after the things he’d said to her in the past, he probably had it coming. The important thing was that she had accepted his invitation. For that he had to be happy or at least relieved she wasn’t holding a grudge. “How about if you get us a nice table, and I’ll be right back. I want to pay for these first.”
“Pay? But—” Once again, she glanced over her shoulder to the coffee shop then back to him. “You don’t need to pay first. You’re allowed to take unpaid-for books to the tables. That’s how lots of people decide whether or not they’re going to buy the book.”
“I’ve already decided, so I want to pay for them first. Then I won’t have to worry about forgetting.” Even if he kept the sale book on top of the rhyming dictionary, she might read the title from the spine. After he paid, the dictiona
ry would be tucked inside the bag.
She shrugged her shoulders again. “That doesn’t make sense, but if that’s what you want, I guess I can pay for mine, too.”
He shook his head frantically. “No, I don’t want to rush you. How about if you go look at the desserts and pick something good for both of us. I’ll be right back.” Before she could protest, he turned and walked quickly to the checkout, leaving Shannon standing beside the sale table.
Fortunately, there weren’t any lines. He soon joined Shannon at the coffee shop, where she was standing in front of the display with the desserts, eyeing a selection labeled “Triple Chocolate Dream.” That didn’t surprise him. He almost commented on her choice but bit his tongue. He had promised himself he’d treat her with the respect she deserved and never tease her again. Besides, he didn’t want to do anything to associate his knowledge for her love of chocolate to the chocolate kisses he left her every day. One day he would tell her, but only when the time was right, which wasn’t now.
Todd selected something else for himself and remained silent when the clerk put their order on a tray. He paid for everything, and they moved to a table.
Shannon sipped her coffee, then nibbled the chocolate piece off the top of her dessert. Todd knew the chocolate wasn’t as good a quality as the specialty kisses he’d been buying and wondered if she was comparing them. He held back his smile and drank his coffee slowly so she wouldn’t notice.
After she finished the piece, she spoke. “I can’t believe we’ve been working together for nearly a month. The time sure has gone fast, hasn’t it?”
Todd nodded. “It sure has. Do you know this is the first time we’ve had just to sit and talk? It’s almost funny we’re not at work.”
“I know. But you’ve seen by now how busy it gets in that lunchroom.”
“Yeah. It’s sometimes crowded in there.” He smiled wryly. Even though he didn’t sit with her during lunch, they often sat at the same table at coffee time, as part of a group. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it was an improvement over his first week, when she wouldn’t go into the lunchroom at all when he was in there.
