by Ripley, Meg
The gentle, deliberate lovemaking might have done more for me than the fast pounding had, to be honest. I had to slow down or pause a few times to keep myself from finishing too quickly; I wanted to savor every moment. But when I just couldn’t hold back any longer, I exploded inside her, and it felt like a privilege. After feeling the last jolts of my orgasm, I withdrew myself and lay beside her, my face down in the pillow.
I’d never felt like that after sex. I’d just get mine, come and then I didn’t want to see the woman again. That’s usually how it played out.
That time, though…it felt right in a way that I’d never felt before. There was more than just a physical act that had happened. There was so much emotion behind it. It was so much more than just sex.
I just had sex with Kylie—while not in a relationship, while not married, and, now that I think about it, without any sort of protection at all. Wasn’t that exactly what Cooper did? And hadn’t his parents—Kylie’s parents—been disappointed that he’d had sex out of wedlock? His parents will hate me, especially if she becomes pregnant.
That thought gave me a strange pang in my chest. Kylie pregnant. With my baby? I’d never thought I was the kid type, but really, I’d never imagined having them before, and picturing anything with Kylie brought everything else into focus. There was a longing I’d never felt, and it brought tears to my eyes.
Her hand was on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I rubbed my face on the pillow and turned toward her. “Your parents and Cooper are going to fucking kill me.”
She laughed. “Nah. I’m sure they’re used to this sort of behavior from you.”
I pulled her close to me, her back against my stomach. “But you’re not used to this sort of behavior from me.” I kissed along her neck.
“No,” she breathed. “I really like it, though.”
“So do I.”
We fell asleep wrapped up like that—something I’d never done.
Hours later, I woke with my arm under her, and the reality of the situation hit me. I pulled it back gently, but she didn’t stir. Slowly, I managed to slide out of the bed. I watched to make sure I didn’t wake her in the process, but she was fast asleep, so I gathered my things as quickly as I could and rushed out to my car.
What the fuck did I just do? I just slept with my best friend’s sister—the Alpha’s sister—who I’ve known my whole life. Well, hopefully, she doesn’t think of me as a brother any longer…
I drove home, worried and ashamed of myself for letting it go down like it had.
3
Kylie
I threw my car into drive and sped off. The first day back to work at Glacier Bay National Park after my accident was not the day to be late. By the time I pulled into a parking spot, it was a full ten minutes after the time I was meant to clock in. I grabbed my purse and hurried to my office.
No one even mentioned my lateness, but I still felt guilty. Usually, I just sat at my desk for a short time to review notes and orders, to see if there were maintenance tasks to be done in between calls, that sort of thing. The desk was used so little, that many on the Search and Rescue team shared it.
But that would be my spot for the next four to six weeks. I’d hoped my doctor would release me from light duty sooner. He kept saying that if I tried to run on that leg before it was ready, it could break again or warp the bone, causing me extreme pain. It was enough to keep me from running, but not enough to keep me off my feet that long. I couldn’t just sit around. It wasn’t in my nature, and I was already feeling restless.
It’d been a few months since the accident. In the beginning, there were weeks where I wasn’t allowed screen time at all, and Jace had been a godsend. He’d read to me and we played games. He had to be bored out of his mind, because I sure as hell was. But he stayed and kept me company, and in that time, we grew even closer than we’d ever been.
My leg and hip throbbed as I sat. I’d hurried too much; did too much hopping around without my crutches, putting more pressure on my leg than I was supposed to. And now I was paying for it.
I signed in and tried to start the day. After staring at spreadsheets for twenty minutes—most definitely not a natural activity for a bear—I was so bored, all I could do was stare out the window, wishing I could just shift and go for a run. Well, only a few hours until lunch, right? I sighed and rested my chin in my hand, something I’d been doing a lot of over the past few weeks. Maybe I was getting depressed.
Then my mind snapped to a sight. My lunch. In its blue plastic container. On my counter. At home. Shit! I could’ve driven to pick something up, but with the way my leg was aching right then, it would’ve been difficult to drive anywhere. In my frustration, I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I refused to let them fall. I’d done enough crying. That day was not the day. Anyone could have come in the office, seeing me at any time. Then there would have been questions, and everyone would’ve said things like, “Poor Kylie. She’s never been right since the accident.” That would’ve been the worst thing people could have thought. I didn’t want to be seen as different or somehow less capable than I had been before. No one could see my weakness.
I moved my thoughts to a different subject. Jace. I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head; I wasn’t ready to go there yet. I’d filled out a form and filed a report to pass the time, but there was no keeping him out of my mind forever. What the hell had happened with Jace the night of the wedding?
The scene replayed in my mind. The garden walk, the kiss. That kiss… I closed my eyes and could feel his lips on mine again. How many years had I waited for that moment? It’d been everything I dreamed it could be. Maybe even more since it was so unexpected.
Since then, I’d tried to analyze every move of his. What had I done right? Nothing, I thought. I was pitiful and sad, two traits that usually turned Jace off. I thought I had looked pretty damn good with my gold taffeta dress and professionally-done hair, but he’d seen me dressed up before. How many dances had we seen each other at? Many.
The most likely reason I could come up with was also the most pathetic. He pitied me. He was probably buzzed and thought it was sad that I was sitting by myself and couldn’t dance. Most likely, he’d known I’d had a crush on him for eons and had spent years wanting him from a distance. Maybe he even sensed my pheromones.
Whatever the reason, the kiss had been incredibly hot. And as for what followed…well, in all my dreams, it hadn’t been nearly as good as it actually was—and I thought I’d set the bar too high. I felt my cheeks flush as I thought back to that night: the way his sweat glistened, forming a tiny stream along the ridges of his tight abdomen. How his thick member throbbed, standing at attention, begging for my touch. His full, hungry lips. His soft eyes meeting mine so tenderly…
But when I woke the morning after, he was gone. He knew me better than to think I’d be okay with that. He would have known it would bother me, but he did it anyway. Later that day, he’d sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and I couldn’t fucking believe it. That text bothered me almost as much as his leaving had.
I had no idea what to think. Was it just a one-time thing? A special event for a special occasion? I’d been preparing myself for that outcome. It seemed inevitable, given the way he went through women. I was just another name on his list; another notch on his bedpost—at least, that was the message I took from his text and lack of interaction since our little tryst.
Convincing myself that I would be okay if it was a one-time thing hadn’t been working too well. I wanted him. Forever. I wanted him to be mine. My husband, my mate, my true love for the rest of our lives. It didn’t seem too far of a cry for me; I’d already spent my life loving him. What was another sixty or seventy years?
Lunchtime neared. I hadn’t been able to accomplish as much work as I’d planned to since I was so distracted by my thoughts and my own restlessness. I had gotten up to stretch a few times, but making it to the bathroom and back was a challenge that left my
leg and side aching.
I just sat back down and tried to breathe through the pain. I was also hungry and hadn’t made a decision about lunch. I’d need to have something delivered; in my pain-wracked state, there was no way I’d consider getting behind the wheel again before I had to drive home at the end of my shift.
But before I could decide what to order, my phone rang. It was my best friend, Gabby, calling to check in. She’d spent most of the last three years being out of the area at graduate school, and just a few days after she arrived back home, I got into the car accident. I was happy to hear from her; she’d always been there for me in high school, just like Jace had been.
“How’s your first day back?” she asked.
“I don’t think things could be going any frigging worse,” I sighed. “Though after the weekend I just had, I’m not sure that’s true…”
“You mean at Cooper’s wedding? What happened?”
I sighed and started the whole story of everything that went down with Jace.
“Aww,” she cooed when I told her how he’d come over to dance with me.
“Yeah, but I think he just did it out of pity,” I countered.
“I highly doubt that. He’s not the type to go for pity.”
I’d had the same thought, but what else worked as a reason? “I haven’t even told you the crazy part yet. Well, two crazy parts, really. Are you sitting down?”
I described the garden walk and our kiss, having to hold the phone far from my ear when she started shrieking and hooting, then I had to interrupt her again.
“Oh, but there’s so much more,” I added, then told her we actually slept together, but then he left. She grew quiet at that, listening, and when I was done, there was silence. “So, what do you think?”
“I…don’t know. None of it makes sense.”
“Gabby-y,” I whined. “You’re supposed to have all the answers! If not for pity, then why would he do all that?”
“I doubt he kissed you out of pity. And like I said, Jace doesn’t do pity. If anything, it’s gotta be a turn off for him.”
“That’s exactly what I thought! But that doesn’t explain everything else he did, then. If he had real feelings for me—enough to kiss me and sleep with me—why wouldn’t he tell me? Why would he sneak out like that? I’m not exactly a one-night stand type of girl.”
“No…”
“Wait, you think I am?!”
“Kylie, you can’t have a one-night stand with someone you’ve known your whole life.”
I guess that made sense. We hadn’t been strangers and we were still an everyday part of each other’s lives.
“I’ll have to think about this one for a little while,” she mused. “Oh! I know! Maybe he freaked out because you guys are so close, so that’s why he took off. I bet he feels terrible about it now. Plus, now that he’s not in the just-friends zone anymore, he doesn’t know how to act.”
“Ha. I haven’t wanted us to just be friends for years.”
“You haven’t, but what about him? He dated all that time.”
“He’s always dating. I figured he was probably dating someone while we were at the wedding, but he was there alone.”
“Well, maybe he ended up viewing you as his date.”
“Maybe…”
I wanted what she’d suggested to be true. Nothing else could have been a good reason, could it? If some emergency had come up the next morning, I would have known about it by then. He didn’t need to get up early and hadn’t given any other reason for not staying the night. What was it, then? Not knowing was killing me—almost as much as my growling stomach.
After ending the call with Gabby, I paged through numbers of pizza shops, angry with myself and grumbling because pizza was the last thing I wanted to eat. I was trying to find the flyer for my favorite place when I ended up spilling a stack of papers onto the floor. I had to get out of my chair and onto my knees to collect them, and I groaned as I bent to pick them up. My leg ached and when I sat back down, my crutch fell and knocked the papers over again. Frustrated and fed up with it all, I put my head in my hands and cried—until I heard a knock on my door.
I sat up and wiped my eyes, trying to stop crying as quickly as possible.
“Come in! And can you close the door behind you?”
It was Jace. He set a bag on my desk before crouching to pick up the papers. “So…” When he looked at me, he must’ve seen the misery on my face. “Hey, are you okay?”
“It’s horrible.” Fresh tears escaped as he hugged me. “I can’t sit still, but I can’t move much, either.”
He supported my weight and I sobbed as he held me. But right then, I thought of our night together, and the probable reason why. I didn’t want him to pity me, so I pulled myself together and shook it off.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m fine. It’s just the first day back. It’ll get easier.”
He nodded, watching me sit back down. “Did you take your pills today?”
“We already talked about this. I can’t.”
“Well, if you’re in pain, having a clear head isn’t going to help you if you can’t focus on anything else.”
I shook my head.
“How about lunch, then?” He opened the bag and pulled out a white take-out container. When he opened it and I saw the steak fries smothered in cheese, bacon and sour cream, tears filled my eyes again. I blinked them away. “You’re a savior.”
He grinned. “I have been told I’m a god, but I don’t know if I’d go as far as savior.”
“On top of my terrible day, I forgot my lunch. So yes, today you saved me.”
He handed me a fork and we tapped them together before digging into the hot fries.
I stuffed a forkful into my mouth and closed my eyes; it was beyond heavenly. I moaned and shoved another bite into my mouth.
Jace smirked. “I’ve always loved that you actually eat. None of that stupid crap girls do where they eat two bites of salad and claim they’re full. You go for all the calories and carbs and don’t care. I love it.”
I smiled, but wondered if there was something to that. He said he loved it, but he could only mention it if he noticed it. And if he noticed it, it might be something he actually didn’t like in a romantic partner. Sure, it was one thing to see a sibling-like person eat well. But to see a potential mate eat like a pig? Not so much.
I took smaller bites until the fries were gone, deciding not to swipe my finger along the bottom to get the last of the cheese, even after Jace tilted it toward me expectantly. He threw the box away and sat to look at me.
“Better?” he asked.
I laughed. “Cheese fries make everything better.”
“I thought that was chocolate, but okay.”
“It is. And coffee. Lots of things make everything better.” Like you.
A knock at the door made us both jump. Cooper announced, “It’s me,” as he swung open the door and stepped inside the office. “Oh, hey Jace. Kylie, how are you feeling? I stopped by to make sure your first day back is going well.”
“It’s not going well,” Jace said.
I gave him an annoyed look. I didn’t want Cooper to see how much I was struggling. “That’s not true.”
“Don’t let her tell you that,” Jace said. “She’ll say she’s fine. But let me tell you, this woman has done far more than she should have.”
Cooper gave me a stern look. “Maybe I should change our plans so I can be here…”
“Cooper!” I swatted at him. “You are not changing your honeymoon for me. Do not bring it up again.”
He’d said it a few times already, that maybe he shouldn’t be gone so long. He’d tried to cover, saying it was too long to leave Kodi, but I didn’t miss the way he looked at me.
“Well,” Jace cut in, “she’s miserable in here, and she can do far more than you’re allowing her to do. I think you should give her something more active to do next week.”
“Thank you, Doctor Jace.” C
ooper laughed. “But that won’t be happening until her doctor says it’s okay.”
“Maybe you should ask her instead,” Jace suggested.
“It’s fine,” I said. I appreciated his defense, though. He knew how bonkers it made me to sit for so long; it would drive any bear crazy. Cooper had always played by the rules more than we did, though.
Cooper left, but before I could start the conversation Jace and I so desperately needed to have, he stood up, too.
“I have to get going. You need anything else?”
“No. This was perfect. Thanks.” I wanted to just ask him right there. Why? Why did you leave like that? What does it all mean? But it didn’t seem like it meant anything if neither of us was ready to talk about it.
He hugged me and kissed my forehead. Nothing out of the ordinary there. He’d been doing that for years.
“Jace, can we—” I’d started, but then my door flew open and Cooper rushed in.
“Jace! I need you. We have a situation with a missing tourist. I need all hands.”
Jace dropped his arms from around me. “Sure thing.” He followed Cooper with only a glance and a brief smile back at me.
4
Jace
We hurried to our vehicles, undressed, shifted, geared up and met at the edge of the parking lot.
Lead the way, I said. Cooper was the one with the location, after all.
I ran by his side for a few minutes and suddenly, it seemed like the perfect time. Just me and him, in the woods together, working. I would tell him and see what happened. Then, I’d decide if I would tell Kylie.
Except that as we ran, several other voices echoed in my head. Often, more than one of us in our clan were in bear form and used the mental link we shared. Kind of impossible to have a private conversation with Cooper when others can listen in.
We got to the designated spot and sniffed around. The area was secluded, but popular because of the large pond nearby, where visitors liked to fish. Hidden by high cliffs of ice and thick with evergreens, it would have been the perfect spot to abduct someone without being seen, if that’s what happened.
