by Len Berman
During a doubles match at the January 2002 Australian Open, a bird flew across the court just above the net, chasing a moth. Bad idea. A forehand smash by Michael Llodra of France nailed the bird, and it dropped like a rock to the court. Julien Boutter, another Frenchman, raced over to the bird, which was lying motionless on the court. Boutter got down on his knees, put his palms together, crossed himself, and said a little prayer for the bird.
Sad to say, his prayer wasn’t answered. It was a bad day all around for Boutter. He lost the match as well.
What’s the ultimate sports fantasy? You go to a game as a fan and become the hero!
John Pius Boland was a student at Oxford University in England. He became friends with Thrasyvoalos Manaos, a student from Greece, and accepted an invitation to visit Athens during the 1896 Easter holidays, which was also when the Olympic Games were to be held. While Boland was there he played some friendly games of tennis with Manaos, who happened to be a member of the Greek Olympic Committee. Manaos was impressed with Boland’s play and entered him in the Olympics.
To everyone’s surprise, John Pius Boland won two gold medals, for both singles and doubles!
At the 1993 Wimbledon tournament, Natasha Zvereva was teamed in doubles with Gigi Fernandez. During one match, Natasha slipped while hitting an overhead and fell to her knees. As luck would have it, the return came to Natasha and she hit the ball back while still kneeling on the ground. And, would you believe it… while she was still on the ground the ball came back to her again, and she successfully hit it a second time over the net!
Natasha then got up and the ball came to her yet again. She proceeded to hit a weak overhead, but one of her opponents hit it into the net.
Zvereva and Fernandez won one of the most amazing points in women’s tennis. They also won the championship that year in doubles and the French and Australian Open doubles championships as well. Not a bad year!
TIEBREAKER
A 1955 Wimbledon finalist, Beverly Baker Fleitz, switched her racket from one hand to the other so that she only hit the ball forehand — she had no backhand!
One of the longest tennis points ever played took 511/2 minutes. It was a match between two eleven-year-olds at the 1977 Anaheim, California, junior championships.
At the start of her first match at Wimbledon, Maria de Amorin served seventeen double faults in a row.
A MIXED BAG
What about all those events that don’t fit into the category of major sports? I’m talking about the Thumb Wrestling Championship. That really exists. So does the Shin-Kicking Championship. And there’s also a Rock Paper Scissors Championship.
Then there are those wacky races. How about a horse race with only one horse in the race? That really happened. In another race, a horse crosses the finish line first but he didn’t win—you’ll have to read this chapter to find out why.
Of course, horses aren’t the only animals that race. You’ve probably heard of dog racing, but I’ve also seen sheep race. And pigs. I’ve even seen rats racing! Since they call the Kentucky Derby the “Run for the Roses,” I suppose that has to be the “Run for the Rodents!”
And what’s with all the fights? Sure, they’re supposed to fight in boxing and you’ve probably seen it in baseball… but in car racing? I’ve seen drivers mix it up. Talk about road rage!
I’ve also seen a marathon race where two runners stopped and started a fistfight right in the middle of the street. Get those guys some boxing gloves!
All kinds of strange stuff happens in sports. And that means all sorts of goofy stuff happens as well. We’re calling this group of oddball stories a mixed bag, and boy, is it ever mixed up!
Did you hear about the Australian swimming coach who had a unique training tool? As the members of his team jumped into, the pool, the coach threw a live crocodile into the water to chase the swimmers. It somehow made them go just a bit faster.…
At a January 1997 horse race in Australia, a pack of horses was heading for the finish line when one of them stumbled and created a chain-reaction accident. As the other horses started to go down, one quick-thinking jockey jumped off his stumbling mount and right into the saddle of another horse who had thrown his jockey.
This jockey finished the race on a different horse than the one he started on. And while you have to admire his creativity, that’s against the rules.
In April 1994 at Yonkers Raceway, New York, they ran a race with only one horse. Wizard of Hearts was his name—and he won!
First prize was $20,000 dollars. That was $20,000 more than any of the bettors won: the Raceway didn’t allow betting on this one-horse race.
Three years later, at Hollywood Park in California, a filly named Sharp Cat was the only horse in a race, and she also won. All she had to do was finish the race and the owners would pocket $60,000. She did and they did.
These one-horse races —called walkovers— happen when all the other horses in a race drop out at the last minute, mostly because of injuries or problems with their jockeys.
In September 2000 at Santa Anita Raceway in California, jockey Kent Desormeaux was aboard a horse named Lido. The horse finished first, but he lost the race.
It seems that just as he got to the finish line, Lido veered off to the right, throwing Desormeaux inches before the end of the race. So Lido was disqualified for not crossing the finish line carrying his required weight!
Did you hear the one about the jockey who rode a horse and an SUV in the same race? In January 2002, there was a steeplechase horse race in Southwell, England. All seven entries in the race fell down, including Tony McCoy aboard the favorite, a horse named Family Business.
McCoy had fallen early in the race and was headed back to the jockey room. But after he saw that all the horses had fallen, McCoy got a lift in a Land Rover and was driven back to his horse. He completed the race ten minutes and thirty seconds after it began. That’s about four minutes longer than a normal race, but it was all perfectly legal.
In March 1996, there was a major snowstorm in Buffalo, New York. But that didn’t stop the local track from running the races. Of course, nobody could see anything—not the fans, not the TV cameras, and not the race announcer.
I loved this call by Peter Szymanski: “Into the far turn… Hello… Horsies… where are you?”
The year before, at the same Buffalo Raceway, there was a horse race in the fog. Again, Syzmanski was at his best. At one point he screamed into the microphone “I hear hoofbeats, but I can’t see ‘em!”
And in June 1989, there was a horse race at Monmouth Park in New Jersey. Once more, there was a heavy fog and no one could see a thing. But that didn’t stop the track from running the first race. Here’s what the announcer said: “They race past the stands into the first turn with Hot Lights Excellence in front. On the outside, Equal to None is second as they disappear into the fog.… From now on, you’re on your own!”
Did you hear about the fan at an October 1997 Spanish bullfight who ran into the arena to join the action? The bull’s horns caught the guy’s leg, and the bull tossed him up in the air and onto the ground. Somehow, a horn slid inside the man’s pants and when the bull flipped the guy over, his pants came off. He was “depantsed” by the bull!
Fortunately, the spectator wasn’t hurt. He was last seen running out of the arena pulling his shirt down as low as it could go to cover up his embarrassment. As for the bull, he stood quietly off to the side with remnants of the guy’s underpants dangling from his horns. Now that’s a major-league wedgie.
In October 1989, English boxer Tony Wilson was losing his fight with Steve McCarthy when Tony’s mother, Minna, climbed into the ring and beat McCarthy over the head with her shoe, opening a cut on Steve’s head. The injured boxer had to leave the ring to get four stitches. Afterward, he refused to continue the fight, so Wilson was declared the winner!
In an April 1990 Golden Gloves boxing match at Madison Square Garden in New York, Gene Van Oss was fighting Patrick Shea. Both fig
hters swung simultaneously. Both connected. And both fighters went down. It was a double knockdown.
What’s the rule? Van Oss got up, so he won. If neither man had stood back up, the match would have been declared a draw.
During an October 1997 cross-country bicycle race in Brazil, the riders had to go over a small bridge. One rider looked back to see who was gaining on him… veered slightly off the road… and missed the bridge. He and his bike went over a small railing and dove right into the river!
Luckily, it wasn’t a high bridge or a big river. The rider was muddied and embarrassed, but unhurt.
In a March 1990 boxing match, fighter Bazooka Limon was having no success against Sharmba Mitchell. So, in an act of desperation, he pulled down Mitchell’s shorts!
Pulling down an opponent’s shorts isn’t allowed, but the next time Mitchell fought he came into the ring wearing a pair of suspenders.
In another boxing match in March 1990, the two fighters were in the corner. Vincent Pettway swung but missed his opponent. The punch caught referee Frank Cappacino right in the face.
It’s not often that you see the referee get knocked out!
At the July 1981 National Sports Festival in Syracuse, New York, two-time All-Around Champion Big Ten gymnast Brian Meeker was ready to begin his vault. The idea in vaulting is to run as fast as you can, put your hands on the vault, and jump over it. But on this day, running at full speed, Meeker didn’t go over the vault—he ran smack into it!
Meeker wasn’t hurt, but he was embarrassed. More people know him for that mishap than all of his many other accomplishments. Several years later, I gave him another chance on “Spanning the World.” He easily cleared the vault, and as he flew over the vault in slow-motion we played the music from the “Hallelujah Chorus.”
MORE FOR THE MIX
In Chico, California, a dog named Tabiah averaged 57. in bowling league play.
The closest finish in Grand Prix auto racing was when Ayrton Senna defeated Nigel Mansell in the 1986 Spanish Grand Prix by 0.014 seconds.
In a 1909 fight in Paris, heavyweight Joe Jeannette was knocked down 27 times but still beat Sam McVey in the 49th round.
The winner of the 1898 Boston Marathon was named Ronald McDonald.
What are the odds? In a horse race with eight horses in the field, the #1 horse finished first, the #2 horse finished second, the #3 was third… right on through to #8, who finished last.
SO LET’S SUM UP.
We’ve had a basketball player bark like a dog; we’ve had a golf shot bounce off a moving car and into the hole for a hole in one; we’ve had a baseball player throw a potato instead of a baseball, and we’ve had a boxer’s mom rush into the ring to beat up her son’s opponent. In short, you just can’t make this stuff up. I think the reason we love sports is that it’s so unpredictable. Anything can happen… and it usually does. And I’m convinced that wacky stories like these make us love sports even more. So let’s make a deal: You keep enjoying sports, and I’ll keep collecting these crazy stories. And maybe we’ll talk again sometime.
One more thing—it’s my sincere hope that after you play sports you can tell a great story ending with, “aND N0B0Dy G0T HURt!”
Emmy Award-winning sportscaster LEN BERMAN has been collecting weird and wacky sports stories to show on his TV segment “Spanning the World” for more than twenty years. A regular on NBC’s Today Show, Len is a six-time winner of the Sportscaster of the Year Award given by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association, and he has reported on major sports events around the globe, including multiple Olympic Games.
KENT GAMBLE has been a freelance illustrator since 1977. His work has appeared in the New York Times, People, Golf Digest, Marvel Comics, and many other periodicals. He has illustrated three humorous books published by Texas Tech University Press, as well as the children’s book Look Who’s Going to Texas Tech, by Marsha Gustafson. He lives in Lubbock, Texas.
